HEY PEOPLE! New story here and I was kinda going for the sad type but finds happiness in the end story. Lols alot of those I know but this time, I'm kinda writting from personal experience. ENJOY.


In any normal day of your life, did you ever just have nothing to do and wind up wasting your time thinking, thinking about life and how it never seems to go your way, about your family and how they never understand you, about your friends who you cherish, but something inside tells you it doesn't click? Well I have. Everyday for that matter. I'd be there, listening to the television with my brother when sudenlly I'd have this feeling you can't explain deep inside of me. Kind of like a hatred feeling towards myself, envy for anyone happier then me, sadness knowing no one knows what goes on inside my head, what I think about.

All people would see was this auburn haired japanese girl. Smart. Witty. Funny. The ONE to stand out in class, the one with more guy friends then girl friends. The one who never gave a second thought about their ideas. How wrong can the human race get. You know how people always say 'don't keep things bottled up inside of you' or 'tell them you love them before it's too late', in my mind thats a lot of bull. Sure I'd want to believe it, but let me ask you, when you hear a miraculous story about someone confessing their love and finding out the other person loves them too, don't you get a little skeptic? A little sadness knowing thats not for you or maybe a little jealousy knowing you can't have that? Well I have.

So many things that our generation has to offer yet so little we do. In my opinion, we are all becoming plastics. Not like Regina & her possee in 'Mean Girls' but you know what I mean. We are so obsessed with looking like models, making it big in the future, being all this and that, pleasing everyone, molding ourselves to be just like everyone else yet deep inside that's not what we want. We are the generation that's destroying ourselves little by little. We are very superficial that little things don't even affect us anymore. You might not think we are or that what I say is true, but look around you, compare what you see to the 80s or even the 90s and notice a huge difference.

I feel for all of us though. We worry about make-up and what to wear the next day when third-world poverty is still out there. I've often convinced myself, that I can't do anything about it. ' what can I do? One measly person? I'm not even legal yet'. Bono & Bill Gates might be there to save the world but with people like George Bush around, I doubt it.

Well, on to things that are closer to home. By the way, did you know that the more you focus on things close to home, the more they HIT close to home because you live right there? Well that's just my opinion. Everyday's the same routine, except for now since its Spring Break though it's coming to an end. Get up, shower, eat, leave for school, pretend to be having fun and to be learning as well as telling your friends school sucks, then it's back to home sweet home.

I can't really call home sweet. Sure my mom and dad are still living but my mom re-married to someone else after me. And before me, she was with someone other then otou-san. My two younger sibling and my oldest sibling look all alike. Whoopee! I'm the odd ball of the family even when I don't want to be. Well, at least that's it, I guess. Oh, but I'm also very tall so I'm rediculed for that at home too. I'm fifteen yet I'm ashamed to head to my locker at school because the seniors, well, they never did anything, they probably don't know I exist, but I feel so insecure as if it's a sin to be this tall. No matter, stick a fake smile to my face and everyone's happy. You know, I call it fake but it sometimes really is genuine. Thanks to my friends, Tomoyo, Eriol & Syaoran.

See, Tomoyo and I have been friends since the fourth grade. Syaoran and I also had a thing back then but us, being the young people we are and wanting to grow up to soon called it quits. Safe to say, we never talked, I'd stutter talking to him or even about him and well... yeah. During the fifth grade Tomoyo and I were in different classes as well as the sixth. Our school was weird though, since they didn't have alot of sixth graders and plenty of fifths, they decided to make it 5th-6th grade in one class. So yeah, all my friends were in one class, I was in the other. I bacame good friends with the popular sixth graders in my class then when they were off to junior high it was back to being the lonely smart-aleck. But it was during that year, thanks to my teacher, that I re-connected with Syaoran & became friends with Eriol. So in my class, the only sixth graders friends I had were guys seeing as the girls... well... lets just say they wore small tops & they were very into pink. No, not the singer, that I could have handled, but sadly it was pink the color, and alot of it. I swear, if you lokked at them you would have gone color-blind.

Hmmm... this was suposed to be about me telling you how my life sucked but I guess through my story you'll feel the sucky-ness instead of me just spelling it out for you. Yeah. So as I was writting...

We head into the 7th grade. All the old sixth graders (when I was in fifth & last year as well) all we did was wave at each other when we passed in the halls. I only had a few close friends consisting of, you got it, Tomoyo, Eriol and Syaoran.

What sucked was that see, we used to live in- shit let me continue this tomorow, my bro's calling me down for super.

Peace and till next time aight?

Hmm... well super's only begining so I supose I can write a few more. I mean... why am I saying peace, not lik anyone could possibly want to read about me, except you diary... ok... I'm going weird now... writting to what I'm writting on... heheh lols. I mean, I'm a social-reject, or so it feels. I'm you average all-in-black as well as sad girl. It might not be but I can't help but feel that way - fuck that was last call.

BYE

P.S: Last call is the last time they call you for super or they use a little bit of your food for rat bait and the rest is history... like you never had anything waiting on the table for you at all. -- Sad, I know, yet oh so true.


Sooo... How did you guys like it? Well I just hope you did and pleace review and tell me what you think, wheter I should go on with it or not. PEACE!