Disclaimer: I own nothing. Except of course my own twisted ideas.
A/N: Sorry this has taken so long to do… I did promise continuation, and there shall be continuation! Part 2 is on it's way… As always, feedback is welcomed with open arms/claws/tentacles/useful limb of your choice, now enjoy!
Chapter 3 – Interrogations -Part 1
After much kicking, screaming and hissing of rhetorical questions, Gollum and Ghashborg arrived outside the large ominous iron door (1). Ghashborg gulped and nudged it apprehensively. On cue, the hinges creaked their predictable (and frankly rather tacky) crrreak, and swung upon.
The orc squinted as he was blinded by rows upon rows of sharp, shiny torture equipment. Someone obviously had rather too much time their hands. A tall and ominous ringwraith was stood at the far wall, back turned, examining the extensive collection of sharp pointy implements. Without turning around, he responded with the air of one who has spent the best part of two millennia dealing with incompetent minions. "For the last time, #7 – there is no way in Angband that I am letting you borrow my best thumbscrews! At least not until you bring back that serrated scalpel of mine that I lent you back in the second age!"
An iron-clad foot tapped impatiently as he selected a particularly nasty looking device from the selection. Whirling around, he stopped abruptly when he saw that the intruder was in fact not #7 looking to pilfer his immaculate collection of torture implements for the third time that evening.
Although secretly relived, the Witch king sneered and advanced towards Ghashborg and the prisoner. "You're late. The little slimy thing prove too much for you did it?"
"No not exactly, sire…" At this point Gollum chose to speak up. "How dares it! Nasssty wraithses calls us slimy! We is not slimy, is we preciousss?" A spiky iron boot promptly emerged from underneath the 'Mordorian Black' robe and swiftly quelled the deranged ramblings. "Shut up", barked it's owner, and then to Ghashborg, "Nevermind, bring it over here."
Ignoring the protests, Ghashborg dragged Gollum over to the pseudo-gothic… dentist's chair. (2)
Instinctively, Gollum began to tremble and quiver and had to be suitably restrained using an assortment of bondage equipment.
It was at this point, just as Ghashborg had scuttled away to his poker game and the Witch King had selected a moderately sharp and pointy implement from his extensive collection, that an inappropriately cheerful knock came at the door.
The Witch King let out an exasperated hiss, and replied (in his most terrifying "do not bother me for I am a big scary Nazgul" voice), "What?"
TBC…
Which Sauron, during a worrying bout of generosity, had had specially made last Yule, to comfortably accommodate his exceptionally tall minion. It really ruined the effect when the otherwise terrifying, undead, spiky-gauntleted torturer bumped his head on the doorframe…
2. Yes, the infamous Dentist's Chair appeared first in the depths of Barad-Dûr. It was obviously readily adopted by modern day dentists due to their need to satisfy their in-built sadistic instincts without generating lawsuits.
