Chapter 64: A break.
Jay/Hailey. Set after series 7. At Kim and Adam's wedding, Jay and Hailey finally confessed their feelings and spent the night together and now they are back in Chicago and hiding their relationship from their friends.
I do not own Chicago PD or any of the characters.
Chapter 64! I really appreciate all of the reviews for this story so far. I would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter and where the story is going :)
Read, enjoy and, please, review :)
After a couple of weeks of Hailey's phantom pregnancy, her periods returned to normal and she glad when they came, even though they caused her and Jay so much heartbreak. After the phantom pregnancy, her periods were a reminder of the fact that she and Jay could conceive, that they would and when it finally happened, they would be the luckiest people alive, when that day finally arrived.
True to their word that evening, the married couple took a break from trying to conceive a baby and, during a long weekend, they went to Jay's cabin. As always, both Jay and Hailey relaxed when they were there in a way they didn't when they were at home, in Chicago, but, because of the habit, Hailey checked of ovulation schedule. Jay saw that she was looking at it and he kissed her and told her not to worry about it. They were having time off from Hailey trying to get pregnant, but, secretly, they were both hoping that that would be when it would happen, though neither Jay nor Hailey dared to say that aloud, even to each other.
Jay knew that Vanessa meant well and Hailey did too, but her presence was slightly annoying, considering their current circumstances. They didn't want anyone to know that they were trying to have a baby, especially after what had happened. It was no-one's business. Vanessa knew her best friend. She didn't know Jay that well, but she could see the tension there, but, over the past month, they had been less tense. Both Jay and Hailey had been more relaxed.
It was a paperwork day. Jay was out at another district and Hailey was having lunch with her mum, so Vanessa saw this as an opportunity, addressing mostly Kim. "Have you guys noticed anything different about Hailey and Jay recently?"
Adam shrugged. "Hailey not drinking coffee is weird and Jay's as tense as anything, but it's Jay and we know he's got some issues. Hailey's been tired lately. Kim, what do you think?"
Kim looked at her screen before she replied, "I think Hailey and Jay are very private and we should respect that."
Vanessa sighed and told Kim and Adam what had happened a month ago, after shift, when Jay and Hailey had returned home and Hailey had gone straight to their room. It had looked as if she'd been in shock and she said that Jay had been so tense. "But Hailey seems much better now. More relaxed. I-it feels like Hailey's shut me out, which is why I think there's something going on. Hailey and I were really close before I went undercover and I'm living there, but I don't see her or Jay."
Adam shrugged. "I guess they are married. They wanna have time together."
"But I think it's more than that, guys. I think there's something wrong."
Kim frowned and looked up from her computer, because that had caught her attention. "You think there's something wrong with Hailey?" She shrugged and offered Vanessa a small, reassuring smile, "Vanessa, I'm sure it's nothing and Hailey's very private and so's Jay. They wouldn't like knowing you're talking about them."
"But I think there's something wrong!" Vanessa protested, sounding genuinely concerned. "That day- a month ago- something felt wrong. Hailey seemed wrong, in shock, and I've never seen Jay like that before. After I went to my room, he smashed a cup against the counter. Does that sound like the Jay Halstead we know?" Outwardly, Kim, Kevin and Adam dismissed her, but undeath, they were also concerned. For almost a year, Hailey's stress and tiredness levels had been very high, Kim could see that, but, for the past month, she had been more relaxed. Jay, too. Kim had seen what he had happened when she had pushed Hailey with her questions, and she didn't want to risk that again.
Adam was the first one to approach it, despite his wife's urges not to do so. Jay and Hailey would tell them when and if they were ready and not before. They were a very private couple. He and Kevin were in the breakroom when Jay walked in after his meeting and he made each of them a coffee, but not one for himself. "Hey, man," Adam called, trying to sound as casual as he possibly could, "How's married life treating you now? You guys have been married for over a year now, right?"
With a smile, Jay nodded. "Yeah, we have, Ruze. It's good. We went to the cabin a couple of weeks ago and that was great."
"So, you're not going to start trying for a baby, just yet?"
Jay wanted to scream. He wanted to run away. He wanted to hold Hailey in his arms and his mind went back to the ultrasound, when he and Hailey had discovered that she wasn't pregnant. That she had never been pregnant, but her body had played an awful trick on her. They were having a break from trying right now, but they were still secretly hoping that it would happen. Jay forced a smirk and joked, "I told you. We want to see how your baby comes out first, Ruzek." With that, he chuckled and left the room.
As soon as his office door was closed, he exhaled a deep breath and put his hands on the back on his head and closed his eyes, taking a few deep breaths. He and Hailey had been more relaxed since they had agreed to stop trying for a month, but Jay could still see his wife's pain and that hurt, more than anything. They would get through it together and have their baby, they had promised each other that.
After their shift, Kim found Hailey in the locker room and hesitated, unsure of how to handle the situation, so she was glad, when Hailey asked, sounding amused, "Kim, are you going to ask what you want to ask me or stand in the doorway?"
Kim ran her hands across her stomach, still unsure of what to say, before she sat down on one of the benches, facing Hailey as the other woman slung her bag over her shoulder and tilted her head, waiting for Kim to speak. "I just- I didn't want to talk about you behind your back, Hailey, or Jay's, for the matter. You and I really good friends and I don't want to ruin that."
With a kind smile, Hailey sat down, placing her bag down on the ground as she said gently, "Kim, we're friends, no matter what and so are you and Jay, so just say what you want to say."
"Vanessa's worried about you, Hailey, and Jay. She said, a month ago, you and Jay came home and you were in shock. She said she heard Jay smash a cup. I know she means well. She just wants to know you guys are ok. We all do. We all care about you, we want to see you two happy together, like me and Adam."
Hailey ran her hands through her hair and put it behind her ear as she sighed. She knew that day Vanessa was talking about. The phantom pregnancy, but she didn't want to tell Kim that. Kim would feel sorry for her, even more so when she knew that she and Jay had been trying for over a year now. She sighed and replied, in a soft voice, "Jay and I are… working through a few things. That's why we took that long weekend off, to spend time together." No word of that was a lie. It was true, it just wasn't the whole story. Hailey didn't want Kim or Vanessa's pity with her inability to get pregnant and she knew that Jay didn't either.
"Hailey, if you and Jay are working through things as you say, you know I'm here, right? Do you remember how scared I was when I told you I was pregnant with Maria and this baby, even, after my miscarriage? You were there for me. No questions. I'll do the same for you, any time."
A lump formed in Hailey's throat, but she swallowed it as quickly as she could so that Kim couldn't see. Kim and Adam had Maria and they were having another baby. They had their babies. Hailey and Jay didn't. In a soft voice, Hailey said, with a smile, "Thanks, Kim. I appreciate it, but I'm not ready to talk about it yet."
"Well, I'm here when you want to me and for Jay, too." Kim told her, wanting to reassure Hailey that she would listen to her, she would support her, no matter what. "How about we go and have some drinks? I can watch you drink so much alcohol?"
Without thinking, Hailey shook her head and replied, "No, I'm not drinking at the moment." For a second, her eyes connected with Kim's, but she looked away and stood up, reaching for her bag. "Have a good night, Kim. I'll see you tomorrow." She hoped that Kim hadn't caught her mistake, but Kim had. She knew that Jay wasn't drinking alcohol and she guessed that Hailey was the same and she knew that Hailey wasn't drinking coffee anymore and, for Kim, the pieces all suddenly came together. Hailey being so tired and stressed and Jay being so stressed. She knew that they were trying to have a baby and she guessed that they had been trying for a while, only, unlike when she had found out that they were together, Kim was not going to say anything to anyone. It explained Jay and Hailey's behaviour and she guessed that, as a married couple, they were going through a really hard time and she was glad that she had offered her support to Hailey. She guessed that the other female detective might need it.
Jay was at another district, so Hailey made her way home. She saw Vanessa's car outside and, as she stepped out of the car, she sighed. She was fond of Vanessa. They had been so close before Vanessa had gone undercover, but the timing of her return wasn't good for her and Jay. So much had changed. She and Jay were married now and they were trying to have a baby, without anyone knowing that they were trying because that would just make it worse. Hailey had been feeling better for the past month, but her conversation with Kim had made her sad. She also hoped that the other female detective hadn't noticed her slip-up. Hailey knew that she could emotionally shut down, but she knew that she couldn't do that to her husband, to Jay. They were a team and they had to get through this together.
Hailey closed the front-door and dropped her bag on the side table by the front door. Having Vanessa living here was strange after she had lived here with just Jay for over a year. Because of his time in the Army, Jay was tidy. Whilst Vanessa never left anything of her own out in the house, she was messy. Hailey could hear her friend in the sitting room and she put her blonde curls behind her ears before she walked into the sitting room.
"Hey, Hailey. I was about to order pizza. Do you want some?"
Shaking her head, Hailey sat down on the sofa. "Nah, I'm good, thanks." She bit her lip and her blue eyes fixed on her friend. "Vanessa, we need to talk. I know you're my friend and I care about you, but you need to know that, whatever you witness in this house is private. It's between me and my husband and I didn't appreciate you talking that to work, to Kim, Adam and Kevin."
Vanessa pulled her legs up to her body on the sofa and shook her head. "But, Hailey, I'm worried about you. There was something wrong that day. I could feel it and there's still something wrong with you. You and Jay-you're- you're not quite right. You're more relaxed, but there's something there."
In a calm, but slightly cold tone of voice, Hailey just asked, "Isn't that between me and my husband, Vanessa?"
"Hailey, I'm just looking out for you. I have your back and I know you'd have mine. I'm sorry that I told the others what I saw that day, but I was worried about you and I still am." In a lower voice, she added, "To be honest, Hailey, I don't totally trust Jay. There's something off about him and you've bene the same since I got back."
"A lot has changed since you left, Vanessa. Jay and I are married, he is my husband, my partner, and I trust him with my life." Hailey bowed her head and closed her eyes her eyes for a couple of seconds. She bit her lip as she sighed, "Vanessa, right now, Jay and I need space and we need time to be together, so I think it might be best if you find another place."
Vanessa ran her hands through her braided hair and sighed. "Okay, fine. But, Hailey, I've always got your back and, when you're ready to talk about whatever's going on, I'll listen. You're still my big sister."
Later, Hailey settled herself into bed and closed her eyes, going over her conversation with Kim in her head and she hoped that Kim hadn't heard her mistake. Her thoughts were interrupted when Jay slipped into bed beside her, wrapping his arms around her. Hailey turned around so that she was facing him as Jay asked, "Where's Vanessa? Her car's gone."
Hailey smiled slightly as she replied, "She's moved out, I told her we needed space." She paused, before adding, "Kim told me that Vanessa was telling the team about- what happened that day, when we got back from the hospital, because she's worried about me." Hailey's blue eyes connected with Jay's as she whispered, "I don't want anyone to know because I don't want their pity."
"Hey, we're not thinking about that right now, Hailes. We're taking a break, remember?" Jay kissed Hailey's forehead and smiled.
With a small smile on her lips, Hailey nodded, "Yeah, a break from trying to get pregnant and I think we needed it, more than we knew." There was a silence as the two of them looked into each other's eyes before Hailey whispered, "Hold me."
Jay kissed her softly and whispered back, with his green eyes looking into her blue ones, "Always, Hailey Halstead. You and me, always." They took their wedding rings off their necks, put them into their rightful places on their ring fingers, then fell asleep, holding each other.
