Chapter 71: Halstead name.

Jay/Hailey. Set after series 7. At Kim and Adam's wedding, Jay and Hailey finally confessed their feelings and spent the night together and now they are back in Chicago and hiding their relationship from their friends.

I do not own Chicago PD or any of the characters.

Next chapter. This is another emotional chapter for Jay and Hailey. I have some lighter, happier chapters planned, but Jay and Hailey have a lot to deal with before they can get there.

I really appreciate every single review for this story and I hope that you guys are still enjoying reading this as much as I am writing it. I would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter :)

The next morning, when Kim, Vanessa and Julie arrived at the 21st District, they were all still in shock, unable to believe what Hailey had told them last night. Kim had guessed that Hailey and Jay were struggling to conceive, but she had never considered that they would have fertility problems. It didn't seem fair, for two people who loved each other as much as Jay and Hailey. Normally, Jay and Hailey were in the office before the rest of the unit, but not today.

Vanessa sighed and remarked, with a raised eyebrow, "It explains why Hailey didn't want me to stay with them. They wanted their own space. Why did I have to question it and to so nosy?"

"It explains why they were off for 3 days last week," continued Julie, looking thoughtful and concerned, "they were given those results and they wanted time and space to figure it out. They must have been devasted. How did they get home that night, after receiving news, when they were so upset?"

"I drove them home." It was Platt, who appeared from behind them, as stealthy as ever. "I came across them in Jay's office and it was clear that neither of them were in a fit state to drive, so I gave them a lift." She sighed and added, "I've never seen two people as devastated as they were that night. Both of them looked as if their entire world had ended. I'm assuming your drinking night with Hailey didn't go well?" She asked, with genuine concern.

Shaking her head, Vanessa replied, "No, it didn't. Hailey downed more whiskey than I've ever seen and then she started crying and then totally broke down. Right there, in the middle of Molly's." Vanessa bit her lip and looked at Platt and told her, "Hailey told us that she and Jay won't be able to have a baby naturally, because of their fertility problems. Basically, neither of them can have kids."

"Vanessa!" Both Kim and Julie snapped, looking at the younger woman severely, before Kim continued, "Vanessa, that isn't your information to share. It's Hailey and Jay's. It's so personal and private."

Vanessa looked down, looking slightly guilty. "I get it, but Hailey told us last night. How can we pretend we didn't hear all of that?"

"Hailey only told you because she was drunk, Officer Rojas, and you do not repeat that to anyone, especially if you value your place in the Intelligence unit. I could always have you reassigned and so could Sergeant Halstead." Platt shook her head and looked at the youngest woman. "You're her friend, you don't repeat information like that." It was clear that Platt's loyalty was to Jay and Hailey; she always referred and called them by their nicknames, so the use of their names was a clear show of support.

"Are you telling me you're not going to tell Adam, Kim?" Vanessa asked, in an almost challenging voice, to the female detective. "He is your husband, after all. I didn't mean to spread it around in a bad way, but people need to know; they need to understand why Hailey and Jay are acting like this."

Kim shook her head. "Vanessa, no, they don't. It's Jay and Hailey's business and they're dealing with a lot right now so- just, leave it alone."

A little while later, Kim found herself at Platt's front desk. She wasn't she why she was there, but she was and, as soon as Platt saw her, she asked an officer to cover the front desk and she and Kim went into a break room. "What's up, Kim? You didn't say that much earlier."

"Trudy, last night was- was awful. I've never seen Hailey that upset and I couldn't believe what she told us. She was so drunk and she didn't mean to tell us, but she did and she can't take it back. I want to support her and I can't pretend as if I don't know something like that." Kim paused and ran sighed, before she added, softly, "When I had my miscarriage, Jay and Hailey were there for me and Adam and I want to do the same for them."

"That's good, but that's not really what's bothering you." Remarked the all-knowing desk sergeant.

Kim looked slightly guilty as she thought about how to put her feelings into words, before, finally, she settled on: "I guess- my miscarriage was so bad and so painful. In a way, as awful as it sounds, Hailey and Jay will never know that pain. They'll never have to deal with that, like Adam and I did."

"But they know an entirely different one, Kim. Hailey will never get pregnant and Jay will never get her pregnant- naturally, anyway. She'll never have their baby and that's a lot for them to deal with."

Nodding sadly, Kim said, "You're right. Of course you're right. How do we help them? Both of them. Hailey was in so much pain last night, but so was Jay. I could see it in his eyes."

Trudy sighed and replied, "When it comes to Chuckles and Goldilocks, act as if nothing has changed. They're very private and they won't open up if they think they're being attacked, so keep everything normal and, at some point, they'll talk, when they're ready."

The light of the morning sun streamed through the curtains of Jay and Hailey's bedroom. Jay was already awake, but he stayed still and quiet, not wanting to wake his wife after the night that she had had. Even before Hailey was fully awake, she could feel her headache, as a result from last night's drinking. It had not been the night she had wanted. She internally frowned and rolled over onto her side, only to find Jay lying next to her, looking into her blue eyes. With a soft smile, he lifted her curls from her face and said, "Morning, Sleeping Beauty." He passed her a glass of water and some Ibuprofen, so Hailey propped herself up against the pillows so that she could take them. Her headache was killing her. Unfortunately, even though she had been very drunk, Hailey remembered everything from last night. Every single thing she had said. To her friends and to Jay. She remembered Jay's own tears and comforting words, but she had had the last word before she had fallen asleep on the floor by the sofa. "I'm broken…You'll never want me again!" She hadn't been aware that those feelings had been present and she wished that, for Jay's sake, they hadn't been.

Hailey remained in silence, staring at the wall, with her guilt eating away at her and when she turned to face her husband, she saw nothing but love and understanding in his eyes. Hailey rested her head against his as she told him, "Jay, I'm so sorry for what I said last night, I didn't even know that was what I was feeling. I'm sorry."

Jay kissed her temple and told her, "I know. But you needed to get those feelings out and when better than when you're that drunk?" His face turned serious again and he sighed, "Hailey, you're not broken. You never could be, to me. We'll wake up tomorrow, ready to begin again, like we always do."

Hailey sighed and reprimanded herself, "I can't believe I had so much to drink. What time do we have to be in work?"

"You go and have a shower and I'll make some breakfast. And, Hailes?" Hailey turned back to face Jay, before he pulled her closer and murmured, "Never forget, I love you. No matter what, we have each other."

Hailey's answer was to kiss Jay passionately and they looked into each other's eyes, suddenly having the desire that Hailey had had last night, but, with a light chuckle, Jay moved away and told her, "Later. When we don't have to rush."

Pouting, Hailey fell back onto the bed and closed her eyes because of the headache. She needed to talk to Jay more about last night and he knew that. She wished that she could avoid Kim, Vanessa and Julie, but, sadly, that wasn't possible.

After her shower, Hailey changed into a pair of jeans and a red hoodie and left her hair down because she had straightened it the night before and she joined Jay for breakfast before he had a quick shower and, as always, before they left the house, they put their wedding rings around their necks.

On the way to the station, Hailey went over, with Jay, what she had told Kim, Vanessa and Tay, so that they would both be prepared and Hailey kept her eyes closed because her head was so sore. After not drinking for over a year, she could feel the effects on the hangover, and she wasn't enjoying it. Last night was supposed to be fun, but it had turned into the exact opposite. In order to distract her mind, Hailey suddenly asked, "How was the dinner last night, with Gail and Danny? Did you have a nice time?"

Jay kept his eyes focused on the road and nodded, with a small smile. "It was nice. Gail and Danny are great. Even though they knew and I knew they knew, they didn't ask me about it or say anything." Jay paused and added, "Again, I'm so sorry for how I acted yesterday, Hailey."

Shaking her head so that her curls fell against her face, Hailey smiled gently. "Jay, if anyone needs to apologise, it's me, so don't. We're both… dealing with not being able to have a baby in different ways and, yesterday, it came out in different ways. Anger and irritation for you and a lot of tears and frustration for me, but we'll get through it. Last night wasn't as planned, but I'm glad I got those feelings out, even if it was hard for you."

"You never need to apologise. This is painful for both of us. But we're together and we'll deal with it together."

The bright lights of the 21st District made Hailey squint and she closed her eyes briefly to shield them against the bright lights, wishing, again, that she had not proposed a drinking night with her Kim, Julie and Vanessa last night. Jay chuckled softly and pressed one of his hands against hers for a second.

"Morning, Goldilocks, Chuckles. Someone's not looking too happy this morning, Goldilocks." Platt's droll remark could be heard from a mile away and Hailey groaned.

"Good morning to you, too, Serg." Jay replied with a smirk, whilst Hailey groaned again and they made their way up to Intelligence. Hailey could feel Platt's eyes on her and she closed her eyes again, dreading having to face Kim, Vanessa and Julie, but it needed to be done. She and Jay needed to face it, together. There was no more hiding from the test results, because it was their reality, with all of the pain that it carried, for their marriage, for the two of them for the rest of their lives.

The bright lights of the bullpen burnt Hailey's eyes and, without another word, Jay walked into the breakroom to make Hailey some coffee, nodding to Kim as he did so. Hailey walked over to her desk and sat down, determined to ignore the eyes that were on her. Slowly, she took off her sunglasses and she was surprised to see that only Adam was looking at her. Kim, Vanessa and Julie were all busy with work and Hailey frowned, confused.

Adam's thoughts pulled her out of her head. "Woah, Hailey! Someone had a good time last night, am I right?" He chuckled and added, "I guess if you're trying to have a baby, that's the way to do it. It worked for me and Kim!"

Hailey could feel her face dropping and she looked down at her desk. Kim told Adam not to say that. So Kim hadn't told her husband about what Hailey had told her and the others last night. Jay walked back into the bullpen and handed Hailey a coffee, before he turned to Kim and asked, "Burgess, what do we have on the case?" Hailey looked at Kim, Vanessa and Julie and they were all busy. None of them were going to broach the topic of last night with her, which was not what Hailey had expected, but she was beyond grateful. She thought that Kim would have told Adam. It meant that she and Jay didn't need to deal with it right now.

The shift passed without Kim, Vanessa or Julie saying anything to Hailey or Jay about last night and they were both so grateful. At the end of the shift, Kevin asked who wanted to go to Molly's, and everyone agreed, though Hailey had no intention of drinking, not after last night.

"Hailey?" Hailey looked up to see Vanessa. She had a guilty look on her face, like a child when they were worried about confessing to something. "Before you say anything, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked you so many questions. I'm sorry." Without another word, she walked away. Hailey sighed and her eyes connected with Kim's, who was still at her desk.

Hailey titled her head and just said, softly, "Thanks, Kim, and how about we grab some dinner over the weekend? Talk about everything, if that's alright with you."

"Of course it is, Hailey, but only when you're ready to talk."

"I am. Jay and I have different ways of dealing with it and our anger and grief came out yesterday, just in different ways, and I'm done being private about this. Bottling my feelings up and only sharing them with Jay isn't good and what I said to him last night- was awful."

Smiling kindly, Kim told her, "Hailey, Jay knows how much you love him. There's no doubt of that." With a smile, she added, "Let's go to Molly's."

At Molly's, with their different drinks Hailey took her place besides Vanessa and Kim took her place with Julie. Jay was talking to Kevin and Adam. He wasn't drinking, but Hailey guessed that it was because he didn't want to react to the alcohol like she had last night.

After a while, Will and Natalie joined them and Will kept making jokes about how Natalie wasn't drinking and Jay felt his stomach drop and he glanced at his wife, who was biting her lips. Jay hadn't told Will about his fertility problems. Will didn't even know that Hailey and Jay wanted to have a baby.

Naively, Vanessa asked, "Natalie, how come you're not drinking?"

Will and Natalie exchanged a loving glance and Jay clenched his jaw, waiting for what he knew was coming and Hailey did the same. With a wide grin, Will announced, "Because Natalie's pregnant! 13 weeks!" He and Natalie shared a kiss and he said, "We're having a baby."

Jay sprung into action, as the younger brother and Hailey did the same, following Jay's lead. Kim, Vanessa and Julie watched, knowing that it was painful for the couple. Jay hugged Natalie, then hugged and clapped his brother on the back. He forced a smile on his face and said, "Wow, Will. You're going to be a dad. Congratulations." Jay stayed standing and put his hands on his hips to hide the tension, but Hailey sat back down.

Will and Natalie nodded, totally oblivious and Will continued, "Yeah, I can't believe it! That reminds me: When am I going to get a niece or nephew, Jay, Hailey- I've been asking for over a year." The question was met with silence and Jay felt a lump in his throat and Hailey felt tears sting her eyes. It was such a raw pain. Will didn't notice, but Natalie did. "Ah, well. The Halstead name will live on, with this kid. I'm going to be a dad and Jay and Hailey, you're going to be aunt and uncle."

Kim watched her friends and her heart broke for them, especially after she had witnessed Hailey's pain last night.

Jay nodded and swallowed against the lump in his throat. "Yeah. You're going to be a great dad, Will, and Nat, Owen will love having a half-brother or sister." Natalie smiled, in thanks, but, unlike her husband, she had noticed Jay and Hailey's behaviour, the looks in their eyes. Their faces they could mask, but not their eyes.

"Which is how Avery would feel about a half-brother or sister, too." Will added, laughing.

Looking down at the floor, Jay looked back up and shrugged, with a smile. "Well, we'll have one Halstead kid in the family and that might be more than enough, especially if he or she has your red hair, big brother." There was a round of laughter, then Jay cleared his throat and said, "I've got a meeting early in the morning, so I'll see you guys tomorrow. Will, Nat, congratulations. I'm so happy for you." With that, Jay practically ran out of the room. He didn't have a meeting and everyone in the unit knew it, but none of them were going to point that out. It was only a lie for his brother.

Feeling the same way Jay was, Hailey stood up and picked up Jay's jacket before she said to her brother and sister-in-law, "I'm so happy for you guys. You'll be great parents."

The drive home was in total silence, but as soon as Jay and Hailey walked into their bedroom, Jay sat down on their bed and started to cry. He felt so guilty and selfish for his behaviour, because he wanted to be happy for his brother, but he didn't. The pain of the fact that his sperm would never get Hailey pregnant was too much and he cried, hiding his face in his arms. After giving him space and hiding her own tears, Hailey sat on the bed and Jay rested his head on the lap as he cried and Hailey held him, just as he had held her crying form so many times since they had been giving the news. Jay didn't remember the last time he had cried like this, but the pain was so raw and he clung to Hailey. She was his centre. He had her. She was his wife and they loved each other, but the pain was there, for both of them and, within the past 24 hours, they had been forced to confront it, leaving them both in tears of agony.