Chapter 82: You're already there.
Jay/Hailey. Set after series 7. At Kim and Adam's wedding, Jay and Hailey finally confessed their feelings and spent the night together and now they are back in Chicago and hiding their relationship from their friends.
I do not own Chicago PD or any of the characters.
Here is the next chapter. I've really appreciated the reviews over the last couple of chapters, from Astrid, Quack-Quack21 and Caryn12. It's great to know that you guys are still enjoying reading this story as much as I am writing it. Every single review is appreciated and I can't wait to hear your thoughts on this chapter and I hope you enjoy it:)
At the beginning of the next day's shift Hailey found Vanessa in the locker room and asked, "How are you feeling this morning?"
Vanessa shrugged as she replied, "A bit of sickness, but it's not too bad. Don't worry, Hailey." She sat down on a bench, before she asked, "Is everything OK? Platt said that you and Jay didn't leave here until almost midnight last night."
Hailey tilted her head as she sat down on the bench, next to Vanessa. "Well, my husband's a workhorse, you know that. It's something he might have to change when this baby comes along." She indicated to Vanessa's stomach. Their eyes met and the two women shared a smile. It was a bond the two of them shared, now. A bond which no-one, besides Jay, would ever understand. It was a bond which the two women were certain that they would always share, because of this experience. Hailey knew that she would have no problem with the baby knowing her voice and she knew that Jay wanted Vanessa close to them because he wanted the two of them to be bonded with the baby, considering the way in which she and Jay were having a baby. She knew that Jay wanted to feel the connection with the baby and with Vanessa, that she felt. That was why he had suggested that she move in with them. Hailey knew her husband, better than he knew himself, sometimes. With a smile on her lips, Hailey continued, "Jay and I were talking last night, at the end of shift, and Jay wondered if you would like to move in with us, for the duration of your… pregnancy?" For a second, Hailey stumbled on the word, but she caught herself and added, more confidently, "I know it would make Jay so happy, as well as me, V, he wants to bond with the baby as much as possible."
"Wait- it was Jay's idea? Me moving in?" If Vanessa heard the falter in Hailey's voice with the word pregnancy, she didn't show it. The two women were bonded, because of this experience, already, but she knew that it was still strange for Hailey. Vanessa was pregnant with her and Jay's baby. "I didn't think Jay liked me that much."
With a soft smile, Hailey told her friend, "V, he really wants to feel connected to the baby, before he or she is born, and this is the best way, I guess. We still have your old room and Avery's away at university, anyway. It would give you a chance to save up, for a house of your own."
Vanessa looked down at her stomach and shrugged, "I guess, if you and Jay are sure."
"We are sure, V, it's the best way, for all of us; it means, not only that we can bond with the baby, but also that the three of us can bond. Jay really just wants to feel as close to you as possible."
Smiling, Vanessa nodded. "Ok, let's do it. I don't want that husband of yours to change his mind." Vanessa paused and hesitated, but Hailey titled her head and gave her a small smile, so Vanessa knew to continue. "I know this isn't easy for you, Hailey, but I want you to know, I'll do my best."
Hailey pressed her lips together before she carefully took hold of one of Vanessa's hands and told her, "Vanessa Rojas, after you gave us that pregnancy test, Jay put it in a safe place, as if it were some sort of treasure, because it is. What you're giving to us is the best gift in the world and I don't want you to ever forget that. It's the best gift, ever, and Jay and I will never be able to repay you."
Vanessa shrugged and joked, "You could repay me by buying me some chocolate?"
Chuckling softly, Hailey smiled in return as she replied, "Whatever you want, V! Whatever you want!" The two women shared a smile and Vanessa pulled Hailey into a hug, before they left the locker room. As they walked back into the bullpen, side by side, Jay left his office and his eyes connected with Hailey's before they fell onto Vanessa. There was a silent question in his eyes, but he knew the answer and he gave Vanessa a small smile as he walked past and Hailey smiled at the exchange. She knew that her husband and Vanessa needed to build a better relationship, because Vanessa was the one who was carrying their baby. Kevin and Adam missed this exchange, but both Kim and Julie saw it and they weren't sure what exactly it was, but it was something.
The silence was broken when Platt walked into the bullpen and walked over to Vanessa's desk and told her, in a voice that sounded disinterested, "Officer Rojas, there was a call for you from a Dr. Lawrence. She wanted me to remind you that you have an appointment with her next week."
Hailey couldn't help but have a small smile on her face. Vanessa's appointments were to check on her pregnancy and she and Jay had agreed that either one of them would be at each of the appointments. They wanted to be as involved as they possibly could. Carefully, Vanessa just said, "Thanks for passing on the message, Sarge."
Without another word, Platt just nodded and left the bullpen. Hailey glanced at Vanessa and they smiled, before they refocused their attention on work. Vanessa was on desk duty now. No one had asked why, but Jay and Hailey knew that, at some point, they would have to reveal the truth, but they were going to wait. Kim knew that they were trying surrogacy and, on her computer, Kim Googled Dr. Lawrence. A fertility Dr and she smiled to herself. The change in Vanessa's behaviour and the fact that she was on desk duty. The increased closeness of Hailey and Vanessa, even in the past day, and the look she had just seen between Jay and Vanessa. It all made sense. Hailey and Jay were very private and she knew that they would tell her and the unit when they were ready, but she was beyond happy for them.
Over the next couple of weeks, Vanessa began the process of moving her belongings into Hailey and Jay's house. It felt strange, because she had lived there, years ago, before she had gone undercover, but it also felt so right. It was the right move for this situation. Hailey and Jay, especially Jay, wanted to be close to her, now that she was pregnant with their child. She was their surrogate. Hailey and Vanessa were best friends, but Vanessa knew that she needed a better relationship with Jay. She admired and respected Jay, even if they were very different and she could tell how much he wanted this baby, just as much as Hailey did. This baby was already so loved. Vanessa found desk duty irritating, but it was her decision and it was best for her and the baby. It would only last for 9 months.
The process of moving into Jay and Hailey's house took longer than she had expected and Jay insisted that she didn't carry anything heavy and so did Hailey. This did annoy Vanessa, but she looked at Hailey and she knew that her friend and husband were just trying to do their best, so she just smiled and accepted their help. This was going to be adjustment, for all of them. The last time Vanessa had lived with Hailey and Jay had been brief, after she had returned from her undercover assignment and she hadn't realised at the time that her presence had caused an extra stress because they had been struggling with fertility problems. Now, it was totally different. Vanessa was their surrogate. She was the promise they had, of having their baby and Vanessa could see Hailey's dreams and love in Hailey's eyes whenever she looked at Hailey. Even though she knew that Jay felt the same way, she couldn't see the same things in his eyes. Jay's eyes were more guarded than Hailey's. Vanessa was glad that either Jay or Hailey attended appointments with her, because she wanted it to be shared with at least one of them. It was their baby. In truth, she preferred having Hailey there with her, but she knew that Jay was doing his best. She and Hailey had already been friends, but they were now naturally bonded by the process, but it wasn't natural with Jay. Vanessa only really knew Jay as her Sergeant and as Hailey's husband. He really was trying, but a bit too hard and Hailey had noticed it, too. She knew that her husband only wanted the best, to be bonded to their baby.
The day finally arrived: Vanessa was officially moved into Hailey and Jay's office. At the 21st District, she asked Platt for an H.R and she was certain that the desk sergeant looked at her change of address, but, in her true fashion, she said nothing. Vanessa knew that Hailey and Jay didn't want people to know that she was their surrogate until, at least, she was 12 weeks along, but she also wasn't sure if they wanted anyone to know that she was their surrogate. Not because they were ashamed, but because they were private and she knew that there was a small part of Hailey that felt guilty that she couldn't carry her own baby. The baby Vanessa was carrying. Vanessa had made a promise to that baby, before he or she had been implanted inside of her, and she wanted to keep that promise, more than anything; she knew how much this meant to Hailey and Jay. She was giving them the best gift.
"You are officially moved in!" Jay announced, in an overly cheerful voice as he placed the box down into Vanessa's old- now, her new room. "Make yourself at home, Rojas."
Vanessa nodded in thanks, before she said, "I think you can call me Vanessa now, Jay."
Jay tilted his head, in a Hailey-like fashion and replied, "At home, yes. But you're still Rojas at work."
"Sounds good to me." She paused, before she added, "Thanks, Jay, for helping me to move all of my stuff in. Hailey said this was your idea."
Quickly, Jay nodded. "Yeah, it was. It's important, I think, and Hailey agrees. I'll let you get settled in and shout if you need anything." Jay had never been quite sure about Vanessa, even from the beginning when she had been partnered with Hailey, but he did trust her. He trusted her, but he didn't know her. Hailey and Vanessa were so close and Jay wanted to be close to Vanessa, too, because she was carrying their baby, but it wasn't that easy. Jay was very private and closed-off when he didn't know people.
He found Hailey in their bedroom, curled up under the covers and he changed and put his arms around her, joining her in their bed and Hailey rested her head against his chest before she asked, sleepily, "Is Vanessa all settled in?"
Nodding slowly, Jay replied, "Yeah. I think so." He paused, then added, "It'll be good to have her here, so the baby can know our voices before its born. How are you feeling about the scan tomorrow?"
"The 12 week one? Excited and nervous, at the same time, it'll be the first proper scan we've been to, the first time we'll really see and hear the baby." Hailey kissed Jay on the lips, before she whispered, "Jay, tomorrow we're going to see our baby for the first time. Our baby."
Jay looked into Hailey's blue eyes and whispered back, "Our baby, Hailey Halstead. We'll hear its heartbeat. I love you, so much." His lips caught hers and they looked into each other's eyes before Hailey chuckled softly and wrapped her arms around Jay's neck, pulling him close to her.
Before the appointment Hailey, Jay and Vanessa had a paperwork morning and Jay had a meeting with another Sergeant and Hailey hoped that nothing interrupted Jay's time off this afternoon. She didn't want her husband to miss the 12-week scan. It was a slow day, so Adam and Kevin left to get some takeaway food and, when they returned, Vanessa could smell the food from a mile away and Hailey noticed, with a small smile. Vanessa's morning sickness lasted for most of the day and she couldn't find anything she wanted to eat. Hailey and Jay had done their best, but none of it felt right for her.
As soon as Adam and Kevin walked up the stairs, Vanessa walked over to them and asked, indicating to the bags of food, "What have you guys got in there?" Vanessa wasn't normally one for eating meat often.
"Burgers and chips." Adam replied, only half-listening, thinking about his own stomach. Before he had a chance to react, Vanessa opened one of them bags, dove inside, took out of burger and started to eat it, in the middle of the bullpen, eating like someone who hadn't eaten for days. Adam and Kevin stared at her, in both horror and admiration and Hailey bit her lip, trying to stop herself from laughing. At least now she and Jay knew what food Vanessa wanted. "Woah, Vanessa! Didn't know you were that into burgers!" Adam praised, very impressed with how Vanessa was eating. He had never seen her eat like that and thought that she could compete with him and Kevin the next time they had competitions.
It wasn't until Vanessa had finished the burger that she replied, casually, "It's not me. It's food craving, so it's the baby." A silence followed and Vanessa realised what she had said, but, instead of addressing it, she reached inside of the bag and started to have another burger, whilst Adam and Kevin looked at her, stunned. Hailey pressed her lips together and glanced at Jay's office. She wished that Vanessa hadn't said that, but she had now. It was out in the open, at least, a part of it was.
Julie was the first one to break the silence as she walked over to Vanessa. Adam and Kevin were too stunned to move and Kim knew what was happening. It was what she had suspected. "Vanessa, you're pregnant? That's why you're on desk duty, isn't it?" Vanessa just nodded, continuing to eat, until Julie pulled her into a hug and cried, "Congratulations, Vanessa!"
Hailey stayed where she was, feeling unsure. Even though the unit knew about her and Jay's fertility problems and the fact that they were looking for a surrogate, she wasn't sure how they would react to finding out that Vanessa was their surrogate. She and Jay had wanted to keep it private, for a little while longer. They were private and didn't want to advertise it, especially Jay. It was one thing for Kim and Platt to put the pieces together, but something different to say it outload. It was happy news, the best news ever, but it was still early days and they were both trying not to get their hopes up. Hailey was glad that Jay wasn't in the bullpen right now.
Vanessa swallowed her mouth full and added, "Well, actually, I'm a surrogate. The baby isn't mine."
Hailey was shocked by the look on Adam's face. It was the look of horror, before he exclaimed, "Vanessa, could you do that?"
"What are you talking about?" Vanessa challenged and Hailey slowly stood up, aware that she might need to intervene at some point.
Adam shook his head in disbelief and sighed before he glanced at Hailey and his eyes went to Jay's office before he said, in a low voice, "I just can't believe you'd do that. You knew Jay and Hailey wanted a surrogate. You were the one who told us! And you go and be a surrogate for someone else." Adam looked away and looked at Hailey before he finished, "I just can't believe you'd do that, after everything Hailey did for you. She stood up for you, with Voight, and that's how you repay her. Not cool." Without another word, Adam walked past Vanessa and went to his desk, sitting down with a deep sigh.
From her place in front of her desk, Hailey walked over to Vanessa and put a gentle arm around her and murmured, "Take a walk, V. I've got this, don't worry." She could see and feel the anger and the hurt radiating from her surrogate, her and Jay's surrogate, and she didn't want her to be upset and she didn't want the stress of what Adam had said to cause any problems, so she stood by Vanessa until she was ready to walk away. As soon as Vanessa was out of the room, Hailey walked over to Adam and, in a very steady and calm, but strong voice, she told him, "That was totally uncalled for, Adam, you shouldn't have talked to her like that. It was way across the line."
Shocked, Adam scoffed and asked, "Are you kidding me? I was defending you and Jay! You guys are my friends, we're a family in this unit."
Keeping her voice steady and firm, Hailey replied, with her blue eyes full of anger, "It was totally uncalled for, Adam, and you know it. Yes, we are a family, and, in this family, we don't talk to each other like that, do we?" Hailey paused and shook her head before she simply stated, "I've never been so disappointed in you, Adam."
There was a dead silence, one which was only interrupted by the sound of Jay leaving his office. His eyes went between Hailey and Adam and he pressed his lips together, before he calmly stated, "Hailey, we've gotta go."
Taking her eyes away from Adam, Hailey nodded and gave Jay a small smile. "Yeah, let's go. See you later, guys."
As soon as Hailey and Jay had left the bullpen, Adam turned to Kim and asked, "What was that all about? I just couldn't believe that Vanessa would be a surrogate for someone else when we all knew that Jay and Hailey needed that to have a baby! I've never seen Hailey like that. So protective of Vanessa." Adam suddenly looked between his friends and wife, before he asked, "Wait- Do you think that Vanessa's Jay and Hailey's surrogate?"
With a smile, Kevin nodded. "Yeah, it's what we're all thinking. Who knew you'd get it so quickly." They shared a couple of laughs before returning to their work.
At the hospital, Jay knew that something had happened in the bullpen, but he also knew better than to ask Hailey. Her feelings were clear from the look in her eyes, but that feeling was quickly replaced by feelings of nerves and excitement. Neither of them had wanted to say anything before, but the 12-week scan was so important. It meant that their baby was progressing and, sometimes, it was hard to believe, after all of their heartache and they both knew that it wouldn't feel real, as if it were really happening, until they heard those words from the Dr, about their baby. Jay reached for one of Hailey's hands and squeezed it, giving her the silent support which he knew that she needed, because he needed it, too. Hailey's other hand went to Vanessa and Jay smiled at his wife, before he quickly looked away. Hailey and Vanessa were so close, but he wasn't. Would that be a problem when the baby was born? Would it affect his bond with their baby?
After what felt like an eternity, Dr. Lawrence called the three of them into her office. This was it. Every time they were here, when they were at a scan with Vanessa, it still felt like a dream, but this was real. They were having a baby and Hailey had allowed herself to hope, again. It had taken a lot and she and Jay had worked through their pain and they were stronger for it. They were stronger and they were finally here. The 12-week scan.
The three of them walked into the exam room and Vanessa changed into a gown, then lay herself down on the seat and Hailey and Jay stood at either side of her and Hailey gave Vanessa an encouraging smile. Jay watched the exchange and smiled to himself, before his and Hailey's eyes met in one of their silent looks. Green eyes met blue and they both knew that this was it. Their baby, inside of Vanessa, had made it to 12 weeks. They were past the most dangerous stage. This really was real now.
"Ok, let's see baby and see how he or she is developing." Dr. Lawrence placed the jell and wand against Vanessa's stomach and, in an instant of a second, there was the most beautiful sound. The baby's heartbeat and Hailey felt tears form in her eyes. Their baby. Hailey looked at her husband and saw that there were unshed tears in his eyes, but he quickly blinked them away. Hailey had seen them and she knew her husband. His eyes were glued to the scan, where the sonogram of their baby was. She turned her attention to Vanessa and gave her a one-armed hug, before she closed her eyes and listened to the sound, again. The sound of their child's heartbeat. This was real. This was their child. Her and Jay's. Their baby. Dr. Lawrence reviewed the scan, then told them, "Everything is developing normally, so there are no causes for concern. Vanessa, you're following up with us next week and Jay, Hailey, if either of you have any questions, feel free to ask them."
Jay tore his eyes away from the screen before he cleared his throat and replied quickly, "No, we're good. Thanks, Dr." He forced a smile, then turned his eyes back to the screen.
After the appointment Hailey and Jay took Vanessa for some food before they went back to the station and, because they went through the other entrance, Hailey hung back, behind Jay and Vanessa. She knew that her husband would notice and he did, walking over to her, looking concerned, "Hailes, are you OK?"
Hailey sat down on the desk and pulled her knees up to rest under her arms and Jay did the same, next to her, watching her closely. She titled her head and pushed her blonde curls behind her ears, before she asked, with a small smile, "Jay, do you know why I want to have a baby with you? Because I know that you'll be an amazing dad, the best ever, so will you tell me what's bothering you?"
Moving his hands together like he did when he was nervous, Jay sighed and hung his head before he jumped off the table and stood in front of Hailey so that their eyes were level. He cleared his throat and Hailey waited, just like he always waited for her. "It's just- it's just when I see you, with Rojas-Vanessa- you guys are so close. And I'm so glad. But- I'm trying with Vanessa. Too much, I know. You have that connection, so you'll have that connection with our baby." Jay pressed his lips together before he added, "Hailey, you're already there, with the baby. I'm just- I'm worried that I won't be and I'm trying too hard. To force it."
Hailey's heart broke for her husband, but she didn't take her eyes off him as she whispered, "Jay Halstead, do you know how I know you'll be a good dad? This baby has only been in existence for 12 weeks and already you love him or her and I can see that in your eyes. I know it's hard, for both of us, because Vanessa is the one carrying the baby and not me, your wife, but I know you're ready, because I wouldn't be ready for this, if you weren't." Hailey blinked against the tears in her eyes and moved on the table so that Jay could pull her into a hug. "I love you, Jay, and you're already ready, you just don't know it yet, but our baby will know your voice, just as much as mine. Everything we do, we do together, and this baby, our baby, hasn't been born yet and already, he or she is so loved. The most loved baby ever."
"It is! I was thinking that when I was looking and listening to its heartbeat." Jay chuckled softly and kissed Hailey's forehead before he asked her, "How do you always know the right thing to say?"
Looking into Jay's eyes, Hailey told him, "Because I learnt from the best." She smiled before she added, with the happiest smile ever, "Jay, we saw our baby today! Our baby."
Jay's smile matched hers as he replied, "Yeah, we did. If it's a girl, I can see her looking exactly like you. With blonde hair and blue eyes."
"I think she'd have some green in there, too." Hailey remarked, with one of her classic smirks before she slid off the table and whispered, "Our baby, Jay."
"Our baby. It's finally happening." Jay smiled, before he added, looking into her eyes, "You can hope now, Hailey."
Tilting her head, Hailey replied, "We can hope, Jay, because our baby has past 12 weeks, so every week now, he or she will become stronger and stronger, just like us."
"Just like us." Jay repeated before he murmured, "You and me, always."
