(ActualGH dialogue from S&B transcripts in flashback)

Sonny's head was pounding, after Carly's abrupt departure he'd dropped his head in his hands. The last eight hours had ticked by slowly; his life was now like an unraveling thread on its way to ruin.

Baldwin had swayed the courts to freeze his assets, causing Sonny's memory to shift to that long ago day when Scott had threatened him with retaliation for his daughter Karen, Sonny hadn't been worried, in fact he'd been arrogant, so sure that Alexis would walk back into his life… not realizing how wrong he'd be. So, now Sonny welcomed Scott's punishments, because a man like Baldwin couldn't hurt him anymore than he'd already hurt himself.

Sonny tried to focus on the situation at hand, in terms of going to prison, even though he knew the truth of the matter was he'd created his own personal prison long ago, sentencing himself there the day he'd broken yet another promise to someone he loved. He'd tried denying his feelings for Alexis to anyone and everyone who would listen, the hardest part though was coming to terms with the idea that he'd denied himself the love he'd had for her, the love that had grown out of mutual respect and deep friendship. He missed her, and yet he knew it was to late to mend the tatters of long ago promises he failed to keep to Alexis.

Alexis… she hated him now, they'd both hurt each other in the worst possible ways, using secrets and fears to push one another away… their child growing inside her, and his knowledge that to keep her and the baby sake, the truth would remain locked away deep in his heart. He was tormented by the memory of the threats he'd dealt her, the fear in her lovely brown eyes, fear he'd never wanted to see from her of all people… she now believed him to be the monster her friends had warned her about… He'd believed her that night in Puerto Rico, as she'd raised her glass to his, those beautiful words spoken from her heart, " Friends till the end."

It was over now, and he had no idea how he was going to carry on and he hated that, he hadn't been able to shut down as he had in the past, now he was left with a void.

So deep in thought, he hadn't heard the door open; it was Brenda's hand on his shoulder that brought him out of his thoughts.

"You look like hell." Brenda smiled lightly, pulling the chair out across from him and sitting down.

Reaching up Sonny scratched his stubbled chin, "yeah… well…"

"I saw Carly on her way out, she didn't look to happy."

"When has Carly ever been happy?" Sonny shot back sarcastically," How'd you get in here?"

"You're the one that married her three times, you tell me." Brenda replied shrugging," I snuck past Taggert, he's to busy bragging about how he's got you right where he wants you."

"He's waited a long time for this… I never thought it could happen… even when Carly turned me over to the Feds."

Brenda gave him a disgusted frown," You really picked a winner Sonny… I can't believe you chose Carly over Alexis."

"I don't want to get into this."

"Oh, but we already have… you've gotten yourself in a whole mess of trouble and the one person that could've helped you…would've helped you gladly, is off planning her wedding!"

Sonny's eyes darkened, "She's going through with it?"

"What did you think Sonny?" Brenda asked, " Was Alexis supposed to wait around until you got your head out of the proverbial sand?"

"I don't need this."

"Oh yes… yes, you do! I know what your doing… you think Alexis deserves more than you can give… you think you have to protect her… Gawd, forbid she'd be capable of taking care of herself… who do you think you are Sonny?" Brenda's brow creased out of frustration, " you sacrificed me for the same stupid reasons!"

Flashback

" We're over" "Yeah, we're over. I'm not like you anymore. I don't really wanna carry around my pain like it's the most precious thing I own, I tried that and it almost destroyed me. I just wanna...I just wanna be courageous and face my feelings. I don't want to run from them. I think that you left me to set me free and if you did I just need you to say it, that's all just say it. I just need you to trust me enough to tell the truth, just this once. Come on Sonny just one time. It's just you and me here no one's wearing a wire." " The night before the wedding I had a dream i have it all the time. Lily walking to the car. I see everything perfectly, every step she takes you know the way her dress floats in the wind and it's always the same, she gets to the car turns back and smiles. Well, that night the woman that turned back was you. You smiled, you climbed in the car and everything happened the way it always does. The noise, the light, I'm knocked down on my back. I get up and I'm standing looking at the car burn. I woke up the next morning, you had your arms around me, you looked beautiful and alive. You asked me what I dreamed and I lied. I told you I didn't remember. Getting dressed for the wedding I knew I couldn't' lie anymore. I didn't want to see you die like she did. I wasn't gonna let that happen. I did not want to watch you die so I left."


"You were such a coward to just leave like that and send Jason to come and explain everything. Do you know where he found me?"


"On the altar"

End of Flashback

"You been hangin around Alexis?" Sonny asked.

"You know Sonny, you seem to forget I have a mind of my own, that's where my brain damaged hubby and I are different."

"Well, Alexis isn't up for discussion."

"Then I'll go back to my original question, what kind of drugs were you on exactly when you fell for that bleach blond imbecile? God, Sonny did you decide after I died to solely think with what's between your legs instead of what's between your ears ... she's bedded half of Port Charles and you found her attractive? Then there was Alexis, who happens to be all the things Carly isn't, but wishes she could be, and what do you do? You decide to crawl back to that lying scheming witch ... who I might add would stab you in the back if it suited her needs ... but, see I get it now, you couldn't control Alexis, she wasn't as easily manipulated, as Carly… So you went back to someone you could string along... now, that's what I call love."

"Are you finished?" Sonny hated the idea that Brenda could still see behind the mask, just the way Alexis had and it was with that knowledge he realized just how much he truly did miss her.

"The more I think about it, Alexis was right about getting away from you ... even though she's marrying Ned for all the wrong reasons at least she knows he cares."

"What makes you think you have the right to come in here and tell me about my mistakes, they aren't your concern anymore ... so don't bother me with your advice."

"Did that sound like advice, I was merely pointing out your faults ... your still a coward Sonny, go ahead hide from the truth, because that makes everything sooo much better."

Sonny's head whipped back at her reference, " Leave, Brenda."

"Gladly ... but, before I go, I havesomething to say... all the protection in the word didn't keep a man like Alkazar from me ... you sacrificing your freedom to destroy him ... well, it doesn't work Sonny, because there's always someone else with an angle ... you have to get that through your head, giving up on me, giving up on Alexis ... it's not really about protecting us ... it's about protecting yourself ... think about that."