Yo! Thank you to all readers so far!

Harry was so relieved to be outside for once that he didn't even care that he was stuck weeding the garden. Uncle Vernon was at work, Dudley was at a friend's house (likely doing drugs or something), and Aunt Petunia was on the phone, busy gossiping away about Dobby knew what.

Actually, he thought, Dobby probably does know what. I love the little bugger, but he's a creepy fuck. Though he'd certainly be an effective spy, wouldn't he?

He couldn't help the little laugh that bubbled out of him, and he absently wondered if Hedwig was on her way back yet. He knew Voldemort had gotten the letter, because he'd felt his scar burn a little with the Dark Lord's, well, he wanted to call it anger, but it felt more like irritation, really. He'd barely even felt it, actually.

Still, Harry was surprised Voldemort had even bothered responding to his first letter at all. Didn't he have anything better to do? Like taking over the world or something else dramatic like that? Not that Harry was complaining. This was fun. Well, for now.

A hooting to his left drew Harry out of his thoughts. He looked down, blinked, and then grinned. "Hey there, girl! I didn't notice you!" When Hedwig hooted in what sounded like exasperation, his grin widened. "I know, girl. I agree. I think the sunlight and fresh air made me a little drunk."

Dropping the gardening tools he was holding, he reached for the letter his dear owl had brought with her. Voldemort had replied again, it seemed. Well, that was weird. He really hadn't expected that.

'Potter,

You are bored because you are the Chosen One? Surely you are able to do whatever you desire with the way you have the old fool wrapped around your finger? Have you grown tired of all your luxuries? A surprising feat indeed, for a Gryffindor.

And if you ever compare me to a filthy clown again, the killing curse you will eventually suffer by my hand will be the least of your concern.

Voldemort'

Harry blinked, read through the letter again, and then laughed. He grinned as he returned to the weeding. It was time, he decided, to channel his inner Marauder.

"I think I have a cousin to bribe."

That's it for now. Looking forward to reviews! Laterz!