Sex, Tangerines and Chocolate
AN: Just thought we were in need of some good humour is all! Enjoy, minna!
Blooper Chapter
Prologue blooper:
A tiny voice caused him to stop. Silence ruled. He could hear her sobs. He turned, shocked.
"Why?" She came again. "Because," he said, oblivious to the women's tears, "You wouldn't shut up!"
She looked up at him, submissive, broken, ignoring his words.
"You sunk my battleship!"
Chapter One blooper:
His shallow breathing turned into panting. Her fingers ran through his hair.
"And do you want to know how I deal with those... urges?"
His hand made its way to the top of her thigh, to find it was no longer there, his eyes flashed open, only to be greeted by a chuckling Nami. "N-Nami-swan?" He whimpered, his hands instinctively pulling down on his black jacket to hide his obvious arousal.
"Did you get that Zoro?" She asked yelling over her shoulder.
"Every second."
A snickering Zoro emerged from the closet, holding a video camera.
"Bea-u-tiful!"
Chapter Two blooper:
There muffled chatter could be heard as they descended down the staircase. "Hey, quite the convincing argument! You ugly bear."
Zoro whipped his head around, his eyes flaring with anger.
"Wh-what!"
He looked so scary!
"Whoa, not cool Nami, not cool!"
"Eh?"
"You can't just hurt my feelings like that!"
"S-sorry?"
"D-don't give me that! Y-you meanie! You bitch! Leave me alone!"
"Fine! Jeeez!"
"W-wait! Can you go pick some tampons? I'm PMS'ing today."
"Sure thing, sweetie."
Chapter Four blooper:
Everyone nodded and snuck into their hammocks, still in their clothes. But he couldn't sleep. How could she have almost let it slip like that? She almost... Ah well, nobody noticed. He suddenly heard footsteps. They stopped. Beside him. He turned. It was Sanji.
"What?" He questioned, pretending to be sleepy.
"We need to talk."
"About what?"
"I'm pregnant."
Chapter Five blooper:
She said nothing, moving her hand to stroke his cheek. He understood. Her eyes said it all. His hand grasped hers, as he pulled her into a chaste kiss. As they moved toward the bed both grabbed onto one another as they slipped, landing hardly on the slippery floor.
Usopp and Luffy ran out from behind the couch.
"You're on candid camera!"
Zoro: "What camera!" trying to wipe banana of his face
Luffy, Usopp: "We didn't have enough money after we bought the bananas."
Zoro: "Oh."
No. 2
She said nothing, moving her hand to stroke his cheek. He understood. Her eyes said it all. His hand grasped hers, as he pulled her into a chaste kiss, moving toward the bed. That kiss. So wanting, needing. This was all he could do to help her. Hold her, and kiss her. His head tilted. Just as their lips were about to touch, his tongue poked out of his mouth, flicking up and down wildly. Nami suddenly began to laugh hysterically.
Zoro: "I'm sorry!...ok?"
Nami: "Hahahahaha! It had to be done!"
Director: "Ok! But that's the last time!"
N+Z: "Awwwwwww! "
Director: "Ah, get a room you two!"
Chapter Six blooper:
"Did you do that on purpose?"
"Huh?" she looked confused.
"Did you wear that thing that's supposedly a skirt, and just happen to slip on MY favorite pair of your panties today, just for fun? Just to make me suffer?"
She smirked.
"Jokes on you, I'm wearing your boxers."
"Huh? I-I don't wear bowers though, I don't wear anythi-... Where did you get those!"
"Uh... well, I went down to the men's quarters and everyone was asleep. So I just reached in that big red chest. It was beside your swords. They were leaning on it. So I thought... ano..."
Zoro exhaled a laboured breath sharply.
"You don't want to know who the chest belongs to."
"Ohayo Naaaaaaaaaammmmmiii-swaaaan!"
Zoro flinched violently.
"Oh! Nami-swan! What are those pants poking out from under your cute little skirt?"
The orange haired navigator began to blush, and frantically pull down her skirt, trying to hide the evidence.
"Ah! N-Nami-swan! Are those m-my-?"
Zoro flinched again, even harder. He wasn't gonna take this much longer. He lunged forward, tugging desperately underneath Nami's skirt, trying to pull of the boxers.
Z: "N-Nami! You take those off right now!"
It was evident that he was extremely jealous, unfortunately, Nami was the only one who could pick up on that fact.
"Oi! Oi! Oi! Get your filthy hands off of Nami-swan, you filthy pervert!"
Now Nami wasn't always the one to play tricks on Zoro. But that wouldn't stop her when such a deliciously hilarious situation such as this arose.
"Ah! S-Sanji-kun! Help! He's trying to rape me! Ahhhhhhh!"
"Of course! Stay behind me, Nami-swan"
"Oi! Damn love cook! Look, I just don't want her in your boxers!"
"Yuck! Zoro! You're disgusting! You want me in nothing at all? Sa-Sanji-kun help!"
"Get away from her cabbage head!"
Ano... let's just say it continues like this... for a while...
Hey alcohol!
Or was it the fact that Sanji had just began to strip/belly dance on the bar due to alcohol-endued bravery.
Chapter Ten bloopers:
"When is she gonna get here! Dammit, she's such a slow little thing!" Zoro repositioned himself on the dusty brick staircase he was lying on. So what if people stared? They could step over him right? Besides, he wasn't taking up that much space, just three quarters of the stairs, okay three quarters and a half. She took so long! He liked to do things fast, efficiently, so that he could have more time to sleep. He knew women generally took longer, in everything really. Maybe that's why they lived longer. He watched her pink head bob up and down in the crowd.
He watched for a while. She had begun to look into shop windows. She suddenly ducked into a doorway. Women, always shopping. So he waited. And waited. And waited some more.
3 hours later:
Nami: "Zoro!"
Zoro: "Where The Hell Were You?"
Nami: "In that strip club..."
