Yo! Thank you to all readers so far!
Harry, who was fast asleep, woke abruptly when his scar began to burn. Sitting up in bed, he pressed a hand over it and laughed. "Looks like someone just got their mail. Haha-ow!"
Harry knew sending the Dark Lord a drawing of himself as a clown probably wasn't the smartest thing to do, but hey, he was bored. And besides, what was the worst thing Voldemort could do? Try to kill him? Again? Considering he'd already done that multiple times, it really wasn't that big of a threat. Besides, Harry wasn't scared of death.
Aware he wasn't going to be able to fall back asleep now that he was awake, Harry sighed and flopped down onto his back, staring up at the darkened ceiling. He had a feeling Voldemort was going to reply to his letter. His Dark Lordly pride and anger were going to make him. It was just a matter of waiting.
Speaking of which, bribing Dudley into drawing Voldeclown pictures had been well worth it. He wasn't lying when he said he was going to mail one to Dumbledore. He'd already done it, half hoping it would give the old man a heart attack. And ooh, just the thought of Hedwig delivering it during an Order meeting brought a grin to his face. He could only imagine what the twins were going to do if they managed to get their hands on it.
Smothering a laugh, Harry gave his head a little shake to pull himself out of his thoughts. And just in time too. Mere seconds later, Hedwig flew into the room.
"Hedwig! That was quick!" he exclaimed, green eyes wide. And then he clapped a hand over his mouth and glanced at the door, listening intently for footsteps. Hearing nothing, he took the letter from his owl. "Sorry, girl. Why don't you get some rest?" Once his dear owl was in her cage, he turned his attention to the letter.
'Potter,
Luck, it seems, is still on your side, otherwise, I would have throttled you in your sleep. But you will not be so well protected forever. Remember that. And the Dark Lord Voldemort makes no 'stupid' statements. You would do well to remember that too.
Also, you and I both know the old fool will enjoy the work of...art if you, foolish Gryffindor that you are, sent it to him. All it does, however, is give me further incentive to kill him, you realize. Added to that, it clearly must have been he who told you of the orphanage, correct? It cannot have been anyone else.
And Potter? I recommend you avoid sleeping.
Voldemort'
"Well, someone's grumpy today," Harry muttered. "And the hell's he mean by that last bit? Why shouldn't I sleep?"
Almost as if it were inevitable, Harry ended up doing the opposite of what he should have, and fell asleep right where he was, the letter still in hand.
And in the wee hours of the morning, the Dursley household erupted with a loud, frightened cry of-
"GAH! Get the fuck away from me, Elmo!"
Miles away, the Dark Lord broke into terrifying-sounding laughter, and upon hearing it, Wormtail pissed himself where he stood.
Apologies if you don't know who Elmo is. True story: when I was four, my younger brother had an Elmo toy that laughed maniacally, and I had a nightmare where he chased me around with a knife, trying to kill me. I still remember that dream more than twenty years later ...Fucking Tickle-Me Elmo. Looking forward to reviews! Laterz!
