Yo! Thank you to all readers so far!
Severus Snape was bored, irritated, and had a headache. He wanted to be in his lab or his bed, but instead, he was stuck in the cramped basement kitchen of Grimmauld Place, in the middle of a meeting for the Order of the Phoenix. Right now, they were discussing...mangoes, apparently.
...Why?
Severus had no idea what this had to do with anything, and rubbed his aching brow in annoyance. He hoped this meeting would end soon. Better yet, he hoped the Dark Lord would summon him, so everyone could be reminded why exactly they were supposed to be here in the first place.
Severus would never know if it was a good thing or not when a white-feathered owl suddenly flew into the room from the open window.
"Hedwig!" the Weasley twins exclaimed in unison, jumping to their feet simultaneously.
Every pair of eyes in the room followed the bird, waiting to see where she would land. It was clear to them she had a letter, but who was it for?
Hedwig circled the room for another moment, almost as though she was teasing them. Finally, she landed directly before Albus Dumbledore, who'd just placed another lemon drop in his mouth.
The old man blinked and then laughed, reaching out to accept the letter. Everyone watched curiously as he read through it. But when he flipped to the second page, his smile vanished and he reached up to grab his throat, choking on his lemon drop.
Alarmed, nobody moved. Severus, curious but unconcerned, flicked his wrist, using a spell to dislodge the offending piece of candy, and Dumbledore gasped for breath.
"Albus! What happened!?" asked McGonagall.
"Has something happened to Harry!?" Lupin demanded to know.
Dumbledore said nothing, merely passed the letter to McGonagall, who gasped sharply. She handed it to Molly, who fainted. The letter passed from hand to hand, everyone reacting differently. Some gaped, others chuckled in appreciation, others appeared horrified, and Lupin and the twins all but howled in laughter. Finally, the missive made it to Severus, and he wondered what Potter could possibly have written to have caused such strange reactions from so many people.
'Bargain-Bin Gandalf,
Before you start thinking otherwise, no, I haven't forgiven you, and yes, I'm still pissed. I won't even bother asking when I'll get to leave Privet Drive, because I already know what the answer will be. I only wrote this because I have something to show you.
See, this place is really boring, and in my boredom, I decided it was a good idea to bribe my cousin Dudley into drawing a picture of Voldemort as a clown. ...I told you, I'm bored. Anyway, here's a copy!
Oh yeah, I sent our resident Dark Lord a copy too!
Harry Potter'
At first, Severus thought the boy was joking, but then he saw the crude drawing and paled, praying to whoever might be listening that Potter had been lying. If the Dark Lord saw this picture, he was liable to kill everyone he saw on the spot.
The twins both made grabs for the letter, but Dumbledore took it before they could, and pocketed it with a smile, choosing to continue their meeting on mangoes.
Severus began to listen without complaint, no longer wishing to be summoned so he could escape from this. He had no desire to be anywhere near the Dark Lord when he received that drawing.
The twins on the other hand had stopped paying attention to all the mango talk and sat with their heads together, plotting how to steal the drawing from the Headmaster or recreate it for mass production, wanting to sell it from their new joke shop.
And Remus, caught between pride and concern, hoped Voldemort didn't hurt Harry for what he had just done-for this terrible, hilarious idea…
Not long after, while Voldemort read Harry's letter and first saw the drawing of himself as a clown, Dumbledore stood in the Headmaster's office at Hogwarts.
Humming to himself cheerfully, he used a spell to pin the hilarious, yet charming Voldeclown drawing to one of the walls. Yes, he quite liked it. It fit very nicely. He had always loved clowns. Such a wonderful creation those Muggles had come up with!
Phineas Nigellus, meanwhile, sighed. He had messages to deliver, and it seemed he owed a certain dead relative five painted Galleons.
...Sirius was never going to let him live it down.
That's it for now. Looking forward to reviews! Laterz!
