Yo! Thank you to all readers so far!
Voldemort was not in a good mood. It was the thirty-first of July and his plans had all gone up in smoke. Literally. The fool he'd placed in charge of the raid he'd so intricately planned had decided that it was a good idea to play with incendio charms around obviously flammable parchment-including the plans for the raid.
That man no longer existed.
Unfortunately, all of this happened rather last minute, which meant there was no time to get someone else involved. Well, at least the Order would be running around like headless chickens, as Severus had purposely informed them of the raid that was no longer taking place. That was sure to provide him with some measure of entertainment.
The Dark Lord's slowly improving mood deteriorated immediately when an owl flew into the room. "Potter," he muttered, crimson eyes locking on the bird, which, he noted, didn't look quite normal.
His eyes widened, and he jumped to his feet, backing away from the approaching owl...which, as it turned out, wasn't an owl at all. "I despise Furbies! Incendio!" The spell did absolutely nothing. He glowered as the toy landed on his vacated throne before going still.
Voldemort glared at the false bird. At least it wasn't speaking. That was the worst. Still, it was irritating that Potter had decided to send the letter tied to a Furby rather than an actual owl, as any sane person would do. And it didn't help that the toy appeared to be warded against spells. How had he even managed to do that?
Annoyed with himself, Voldemort actually hesitated before grabbing the parchment, which seemed to be dotted with blood for some reason, immediately yanking his hand back when the Furby blinked at him slowly. The damn thing was probably possessed.
"Fucking menace."
'Voldemort,
Guess what's freakier than Elmo? My cousin screamed like a little girl and pissed himself the first time he interacted with a Furby...last week.
Speaking of screaming, what the hell's up with Wormtail? Why did he have a paper bag over his head? Why was there a smiley face drawn on it? And what the heck was he screaming about? Honestly, did he step on a Lego* or something? Or did I just hallucinate that?
Wait, does this mean Lucius Malfoy owes Wormtail a Life Debt? ...Weird.
Anyway, sorry about the blood. My uncle broke my nose again.
Oh, and the Furby's been charmed to follow you around. Have fun!
Harry Potter'
"...You little bastard!"
*I almost wrote Legolas XD To those of you who have been mentioning Furbies, congratulations-we've all been menaced by the bloody things. My sister's used to freak me out all time back when we were younger. Looking forward to reviews! Laterz!
