He knew it was going to be a bad day when he looked out the window and saw his lover having a conversation with a toucan. Laguna frowned and scratched his head. What confused him more than anything was that there was a toucan in Esthar at all. They weren't native to the area, were they? Was it from the zoo? Did Esthar even have a zoo?
Hm, something to look into.
With a shrug, he glanced at the clock. Eight ay-em. It was way to early for this sort of thing. He flopped back down into the bed and laid there for awhile, trying to go back to sleep. It didn't work. Not long after he heard the door to the balcony beyond the window slide open and Kiros came in, still talking animatedly to the bird. The toucan was perched on his shoulder, but once inside, took flight and landed on the edge of Laguna's dresser.
Argh! There was a toucan on his dresser now! And Kiros was talking to it. What was worse was that they were speaking in gibberish so Laguna had no idea what they were saying. Oh no! They were speaking in code!
How rude! Laguna sat back up, huffed indignantly, and opened his mouth to yell at them both when the bedroom door slammed against the wall. This was the result of one of the junior clerks throwing it open and running into the room.
"Mister President! Mister President!" He was young and red in the face, but that was about all the detail Laguna could make out. Oddly enough, every time he tried to focus on the young man his vision blurred.
"Ummm..."
"Mister President! The aardvarks are invading the city green and – Oh, hello Mister Ambassador." The clerk said, bowing to the toucan.
"Squawk!" said the bird.
"Er..." said Laguna.
Kiros glanced over at the bed and rolled his eyes. "It's terribly rude to entertain the Ambassador in your PJs you know."
"Huh?"
"You should get dressed."
"Wa'huh?"
Kiros rolled his eyes again and shook his head. He turned back to the bird and babbled something that sounded like an apology for Laguna's current state of undress. Laguna wanted to say something about Kiros not caring much about the lack of clothes the previous night, but decided against it. They had... company?
"Mister President... the aardvarks!" the clerk spoke up insistently.
"What... are aardvarks doing inside the city?" Laguna asked weakly.
The clerk wrung his hands nervously. "Er, currently? Taking over the city green and molesting little old ladies. Sir."
"That's it!" Laguna thundered, throwing back the blankets. "No one – not even rampaging aardvarks – molests little old ladies in my city!"
He stood up dramatically. This would have been a lot more impressive if he had not been wearing boxers with large pink hearts and the words, "Kiss me I'm cute!" emblazoned on them. It also would have helped if his leg hadn't cramped up and tangled in the sheets, sending him sprawling face first into the floor...
And he straight up in bed with a warbled cry. Laguna blinked. Oh, so it had been a dream. Haha. Silly of him to think of aardvarks and toucans... though. He glanced down at the sleeping form of Kiros next to him and then at the clock. Three in the morning? Pfft. He nudged Kiros. "Hey."
"Mfffzp?"
"Hey, wake up!"
Kiros groaned. "Wha?" he said and buried his face in the pillow.
Laguna started picking at the blanket. "You wouldn't... you know, ever talk to a toucan, would you?"
Kiros replied, "...go back to sleep Laguna."
"Um, okay, just making sure." Laguna settled himself back down in bed and closed his eyes. Soon, he fell fast asleep and this time, no toucans or aardvarks invaded his dreams.
The lawn gnomes, however, declared war on Esthar.
