Logan let the fruity effervescent taste of champagne mingle with the sweet lingering flavor of Rory on his lips and savored the memory of her in his arms. It was a great memory, one he would like to recreate very soon.
The solitary moment was sadly cut short by Finn scampering back to the table dragging his elfin queen at his heels. He plopped down with all the aplomb of a drunken bear and leaned excitedly towards Logan. "Did you see it?"
Logan cast him a sideways glance "I'll buy a noun for five hundred please Pat."
"The kiss!" Finn hissed in obvious exasperation, "THE kiss. What do I have to do, erect a billboard for you?"
"Well a little old fashioned sentence structure might do more good than fifty foot high words, but hey that's just my second grade teacher talking."
Finn sighed dramatically and looked over at a bemused Alice "Sometimes its hard being the only genius in the company of fools."
Logan rolled his eyes with equal drama "Cut to chase please, I tire of your soliloquizing."
Finn leaned forward again and spoke with exaggerated slowness and careful enunciation "Stephanie and Colin kissed."
Logan's eyebrows rose slightly "Thanks for the update Lennie. So did she kiss him or did he kiss her?"
Finn leaned back with a little frown "Not sure actually, I missed the actual initiation and only caught the lip lockage...kind of hard to miss that part with them plastered against the window over yonder."
"You're slipping Groves."
They both looked towards the window in question but the infamous couple had vanished. It took them a second to see them winding their way through the crowd back towards the table. Their hands were linked and beaming smiles lit both their faces.
Finn clapped his hands in glee "Look what we have here, gooey, twitter patted saps. Call me a Cock-eyed optimist but I do enjoy a good love story."
"I don't think you're supposed to call them saps. Didn't they test you that on your Yenta bar exam?" Logan asked with a half smile as he refilled glasses of champagne around the table and then handed one to Alice "You know Finn for a guy who avows himself an eternal bachelor you seem to have a rather large soft spot when it comes to true love."
Finn shrugged "What can I say, I'm a romantic at heart. I think love is a rather beautiful thing to watch as long as you're not the one experiencing it. It seems messy, treacherous, painful up close but from afar it's like a great Monet, all that chaos becomes art."
Logan rolled his eyes "Spoken like a true voyeur."
Finn just smiled "Someone has to be the audience, not everyone can be in the play, then who would record it for posterity? Lucian said 'The historian should be fearless and incorruptible; a man of independence, loving frankness and truth; one who, as the poets say, calls a fig a fig and a spade a spade.' It's a dirty job but some one has to do it."
Logan laughed, "Yeah, you're a regular Niall Ferguson."
Finn sniffed delicately "I don't write Virtual History, I am but a humble scribe who records the events as I see them, my first work I intend to title An Ode to The Beautiful Sickness, that sickness being love of course, at once the curse and the blessing of mankind."
Logan just snorted in response "The day you fall under that curse I'm going to be the one cheering the loudest."
Finn shook his head with classic Finn surety "That day will never come mate, I'm immune to love."
Logan smiled now remembering his own not too distant proclamations in the same bent "I'd bet good money that someday love will bite you in the ass and even you won't have the antidote."
Finn ignored this last comment as Colin and Stephanie stopped in front of the table and Colin cleared his throat and then started to speak "Steph and I have something to tell you..."
The words had barely left his mouth when Finn was leaping up and dancing around them in a good impression of Danny Kaye in the Court Jester. "Hello young lovers, may I be the first to congratulate you and say love looks good on you two kids." He was like a rather enthusiastic golden retriever managing to somehow cram himself between the two young lovers and fling an arm around each of their shoulders, he looked from one face to the other as Colin glowered and Stephanie laughed.
Colin's tone was a little sulky "You are such a spotlight hog, the one time I have something good to tell and you steal my thunder."
"Gloating rights mate." Finn said with a grin.
Colin snorted, "What have you got to gloat about?"
Finn's eyes widened and he looked at Logan with a hurt expression "Now how's that for gratitude? After all we've done, why if it weren't for us young Romeo here would no doubt still be pining after our heroine, writing her sugary love poems and burning them in his fireplace." He gave Colin a wicked glance as Colin paled slightly and he continued in a saccharine tone as if reading a poem in front of him from his hand
My Love
Stephanie is
A Queen to My Frog Self
I Love From A Far This Magic
Butterfly
"Not the most lyrical example of a cinquain but descriptive nonetheless." Finn gave him a playful smile.
"I...I never...I didn't...I"
Colin flushed crimson and sputtered as he whipped his head towards Stephanie but it was a less than successful defense as Finn cocked an eyebrow at him daring him to continue "Wouldn't deny too much if I were you friend... I've only scratched the surface of the secrets I know. A little advice...next time you want to keep your works of genius to yourself I'd go with a paper shredder."
Stephanie rolled her eyes at Finn and then turned to Colin with a smile on her face and put a gentle hand to his scarlet cheek "You really wrote a poem for me?"
Colin blushed slightly and his eyes fell but he shrugged when he realized he was cornered, he never had been good at lying to Stephanie "Yeah...once..." Finn coughed pointedly and gave Colin an admonishing look "Okay maybe more than once." He gave Finn a quick glare before he looked back at Stephanie "What can I say, I was young and foolish and in love."
Stephanie stared into his eyes and her heart split wide at that sweet expression that told her those were no easy flippant words, this boy loved her with all he had. "I love you Colin McKenzie Bradshaw and you better not forget that you're my frog now."
She kissed him hard and then broke away with a brilliant smile that they shared for an instant before they realized they still had an audience, She turned her head to look at Finn who was still inches from their faces and watching with head tipped and a smile playing on his lips. She rolled her eyes as she pushed him back a step and looked at Colin again "I think we've got ourselves a peeping Finn."
Logan sat grinning at the table and tipped his glass of champagne to them "Look at the rookie, first time off the bench and he hits a home run. I think this calls for a toast." He passed glasses of champagne to them and raised a glass "To beginners luck."
Stephanie drank but then looked up at the group a bit sheepishly "Nice sentiment but I'd hardly claim to be a beginner at this game."
Logan shook his head slowly thinking of his own recent firsts "I think we're all beginners when it comes to love."
Alice who had been silent until now took a long sip of her champagne before setting the glass down with a little thunk "I think this calls for a song."
Finn's eyes widened slightly in joyful parody of a dog being told it was time for a walk, Logan thought he would have wagged his tail if he had one "Now that is the best idea I've heard all night. Any suggestions?"
"How about Some Enchanted Evening?"
Finn looked liked he'd died and gone to whatever heaven would take a colorful character such as himself "Rodger's and Hammerstein, their my favorite. You know Broadway?"
Alice smiled jauntily "My second love after the realm of Rivendell."
Finn grabbed her by the hand and pulled her out of her seat "I have no idea what you just said but Broadway I understand, lets sing sister. Do you know Love Makes the World Go Round?"
"Of course, who do you take me for a troll?"
"Surely not...although I'm not certain what actually makes one a troll. Maybe you can explain it to me later." He offered her an arm "I think I know where we can get a microphone. Come on babe, why don't we paint the town - and all that jazz. "
As they skipped off into the crowd Colin and Stephanie just shook there heads and slid into their seats.
Logan looked at them again and thought that Finn was right; love did look good on them. "So do I get to hear the juicy details?"
Stephanie arched an eyebrow at him "Who are you The Insider? I think you'll just have to wait for the memoirs like the rest of the world."
"No fun."
"Hey, I don't see you sharing details about where you and Woodward disappeared to for the last half an hour and why your hair is looking less than it's usually styled self." She laughed when he glanced down at his glass "I'd guess kitchen pantry or coat closet but Woodward doesn't seem much like a coat check kind of girl to me."
He glanced down at his drink a bit sheepishly "How about we stick with non-disclosure."
"Wise choice lover boy. Where is the girl in charge anyway?"
Logan looked back at the hallway that she had disappeared down a few moments ago and his brow furrowed "She went to find her mom or Luke or her dad...it was a little jumbled."
Colin raised an eyebrow at this "Wait a minute, her dad is here? Did you meet him?"
Both Colin and Stephanie watched a completely foreign occurrence as a slight hint of red crept from Logan's collar to his face "Uh...yeah...in a manner of speaking, we weren't really introduced though, the circumstances were a bit, shall we say, uncomfortable."
Colin, clearly not getting the drift of the conversation wrinkled his brow "You mean because you're dating Rory?"
Logan flushed even darker and had a difficult time making eye contact as he answered "No, I think it had more to do the fact that he was three sheets to the wind and Rory and I were engaged in rather amorous activity when he blundered upon us."
Colin finally got it and who hooted in laughter "Oh my god, he walked in on you making out with his daughter? "
Logan glared but they both noted he did not deny and Stephanie joined in the laughter "This is rich, the imperturbable ladies man, the smooth no situation he can't talk himself out of Logan Huntzberger speechless."
Logan's tone was wounded "I wasn't speechless, I was just..." he closed his eyes as he pictured it and his words were slightly sheepish "Half-dressed."
Stephanie shook her head, as she laughed, "What I wouldn't have given to be a fly on that wall."
Colin looked thoughtful "Why didn't you just lock the door?"
Logan gave him a disgruntled stare "You know slugger I'm not really looking for advice on my clandestine make out sessions."
Luckily their raucous laughter was drowned out by a loud crackle and a boom as all attention shifted to the stage where Finn and Alice stood now with a microphone clutched in Finn's hand. Logan sighed and lowered his head to his hands "Well hell, I guess I'm going for a clean sweep of it, now not only will her mom and dad detest me but her grandparents will have me blacklisted and banned from the premises along with my idiotic friends."
Finn's voice rang out over the crowd "The time has come folks, many of you have begged me to sing, to dance, to entertain you this evening so here it is, a little musical tribute to my friends who found love, brave fools that they are..."
Gravity more than desire had Christopher falling into the chair and it was helped along a bit by a not so gentle push from Lorelai. He watched her with slightly unfocused eyes as she paced in front of him. The beating rage of a father's will to protect still pounded through his blood but now the effects of too many tumblers of scotch in too little time was starting to catch up with him and the combination left his head swimming. Lorelai's jerky agitated movements really weren't helping his equilibrium much either.
He managed after two failed attempts to snag her arm on one of her laps past him and pulled her to a stop. "Can you sit please? I know it's my fault that I'm a little tipsy but it's not going to help this conversation if I have to have it with five of you."
She rounded on him and crossed her arms, the tight, contained posture suggesting that perhaps she didn't trust her hands not to do him bodily harm if they were set loose. He shivered a bit, part of him reveled in their banter and argumentative conversational style but that was all in good fun, the primary form of communication for two people who had learned sarcasm before they could walk and used it as both shield and weapon, but Lorelai truly enraged was a sight to behold and not soon to be forgotten. Mt. Vesuvius the day it buried Pompeii was probably a lesser source of terror.
Her voice matched the posture, low, contained, only hinting at the depths of the hole he had dug himself "What are you doing here Christopher?"
He sucked in a tiny breath hoping she didn't notice that her blow hit him dead in the chest. Damn her for cutting right to the chase. He wasn't ready for that question so he deflected. He had always been good at deflection, at turning a conversation so that he never had to answer the hard questions, never had to face the hard truths, not always the better part of valor but it served him well in the moment. He pointed to the spot recently vacated by their daughter "First lets talk about that. Who is that guy and what do you know about him?"
She gave him an exasperated look and the arms remained crossed "That's the best you can do? Not your most subtle segue... I think you're losing your magic touch; you used to be the Houdini of a subject change. Must be all the scotch killing brain cells as we speak."
He rolled his eyes in response although he regretted it a little when the room spun a bit "I'm really not up to this dance right now Lor."
She held her position "That's too bad, I was kind of looking forward to a good one man revue, it's usually quite amusing to watch you do the avoidance shuffle. Might make me forget that I want to strangle you right now."
He sighed "Sorry to disappoint but I think I'm one overfilled scotch and one underdressed daughter past a tap-dance.
That had a little corner of her mouth quirking although she struggled to remain dour "Not even a little Guy Holden shimmy?"
Christopher winced "Ouch, that was a little on the pointed side."
She feigned innocence "I thought you'd be prepared for my witty repartee."
"I am usually, but the Gay Divorcee? That's acerbic even for you."
Lorelai shrugged but knew it had been bit on the lowbrow side "Hey, if the tap shoe fits."
He rallied "Technically I'm not a divorcee and I'm not gay, I'm..."
"Pie-eyed?" Lorelai supplied helpfully which earned her a half-hearted glare.
They were back on slightly lighter footing at least and that had him breathing a bit easier. He raised an eyebrow at her "Talk about mixing metaphors."
She protested, "Hey, I could be gay about pie. Besides I think it's you who has been mixing things that should never be mixed. Alcohol and unsolicited fatherly tirades for one."
He rolled his eyes again and patted the chair next to him "I call truce... are we going to play Leno and Lettermen and trade petty insults or do you want to sit down and discuss our daughter like adults?'
She considered him for a moment and her voice turned a tad more serious although her tone was still a little playful "I kind of wanted to be Leno, my mom always said I had such a huge head, might as well put it to some use. Besides, I wasn't aware that we had reached the adult stage just yet. We excel at arrested development and I had us pegged at about the tenth grade tossing witty insults at each other instead of dodge balls."
Christopher almost laughed but then sobered at the thought of all that had transpired since the days of dodge balls and word play. "Lets try the adult thing okay."
Lorelai saw something in his face that made her take the seat next to him and turn to face him as he asked his question again "What do you know about this guy?"
"She knows him, she likes him, and I trust her judgment." She said it matter of factly, period at the end, sentence complete.
Christopher scoffed a little "You, Lorelai Gilmore, the woman who could make Kristof quit the debate and hide under his desk to avoid you have no opinion? That's like saying the pope has just become a Muslim."
"It could happen, I hear the pontiff is quite open minded these days." Lorelai shook her head slightly and gave in "Fine. I like him, of course I like him... he's you..." she barely paused and sailed on in her ramble effectively blocking any response he might have made "He's a smartass, he's got a brain, he's a little dangerous and he challenges Rory, all of which put him on my good list but even more importantly he cares about our daughter and despite what I'm sure is a checkered past I see in the way that he looks at her that he would never hurt her intentionally. However, none of that is the point because my previous answer stands as my official statement on the record."
Chris gave her an incredulous look "How can you trust a guy like him with our little girl."
"I don't have to trust him, I trust Rory who much as it pains me to say is no longer a little girl." Lorelai looked at him as if perhaps she had just encountered a completely alien life form and she shook her head in disbelief "Jesus Christopher, do you even hear the words coming out of your mouth? I don't know if it was the effect you were going for or not but about ten minutes ago I could have mistaken you for my father the likeness was so spot on. You've been going a little heavy on the sauce if you really don't remember that twenty years ago the couple of kids in the coatroom was us? That guy was you. Hell, that was us two years ago at Sookie's wedding."
She shook her head "If you ask me Rory's already managed to jump a lot of hurdles that tripped us up and I can't take all the credit for that. We were smart, nearly as smart as she is but she's more cautious, she takes life a step at time, considers the destination at the end of the journey." She shook her head slightly and looked down at her hands "I don't know where she got it because you and I never were any good at that...maybe it's kind of like being psychic and it skipped a generation or something."
She trailed off and looked back at him again "Don't you see Christopher? She likes him and I trust her. I have to trust her. The only other option is to become my mother, to try so hard to protect her, to keep her inside the walls of the little world that I know that I end up building a beautiful cage for her rather than letting her experience life for herself. We can't tell her how to live her life, what to experience...who to love. That's part of what growing up is about, what living is about and no matter how much we love her it's not our right to take that away from her just to make ourselves feel better or safer"
Lorelai's words sank in slowly but they rang with a truth that even a drunk protective father couldn't ignore. He saw clear as day what a fool he had made himself. He groaned as he dropped his head into his hands picturing the look of horror and anger on Rory's face. "You're right, I don't' know what came over me, I saw Rory and some half naked guy and it was like I was channeling my father or that guy on Meet the Parents."
Lorelai slumped in her chair grateful that the battle was over "Robert De Niro? Shooting a little high there don't you think hon? This being your first protective father bit I'd take it slow, maybe start with a little Bill Cosby and work your way up to The Terminator, not everyone can be a star their first time on stage."
He shook his head in self-recrimination "God, she must hate me right now."
Lorelai touched him on the shoulder in comfort "That's part of being a parent sometimes, you can't always be the best friend even though you want to be." She smiled sympathetically "Lucky for you Rory forgives easily, the girl can hold a grudge but she's never been good at the whole hate thing."
Christopher laughed a little as he stared at his hands "I hope you're right. We were just getting back on even ground."
He put his head in his hands for a moment and stared at the floor until something caught his eye, he slowly bent down to pick up what appeared to be an errant button from the floor in front of him and turned it over in his fingers before he held it up to the light "Any guesses as to the origin of this?"
Lorelai waved a hand as if blocking the mental image "First lesson of parenthood, sometimes a little information is too much information, unless of course you want to do a Judy and self-medicate yourself into a coma."
Christopher shook his head a little at the way this incredible woman in front of him always seemed to find her balance no matter what the world threw her way. "I'll take that advice to heart. Maybe you should teach a class for us newcomers... 101 things not to do as a parent."
Lorelai grinned and patted him on the shoulder her voice so dry it could have turned mud to dust "Oh hun, I wouldn't worry about that, from this little display I'd say you got that one all figured out. In fact give Gigi a few more years and you may even have to teach that class yourself."
Chris sighed and leaned his head back in the chair "Yeah, I guess Rory doesn't really count for me, I didn't have to do much with her, she came nearly finished by the time I got to her. How did you do it Lor?"
Lorelai smiled with a slight nostalgia "Well, I'd be lying to say that it was all peaches and cream and scenes from the Brady Bunch, I mean there was crying and shouting and crazy tantrums...sometimes she even had to send me to my room." She grinned and this elicited a chuckle "Cold hard truth Chris ...I got really lucky with Rory, we got lucky. I hope your streak holds with Gigi."
Chris sighed again the fatigue evident in his voice "Yeah, I'm thinking if God gives out favors I better take a number in that line because I'm going to be needing a few. I'm just hoping there's not a quota. A couple of months and I'm already begging for divine intervention, I don't see how you did it all alone, even with the best kid in the world it's so hard, it's lonely. How did you survive? How did you keep your head above water and not let it drown you? Let it make you into something, well, less than you?"
Lorelai turned to face him and her voice was for once deadly serious "I like to think that I would have been a good person, that I could have lived the life that Rory is living, college and a big career but I don't know Chris. I don't know if that's really true given my bent for rebellion and trouble making, I didn't have her drive or her sense of direction so I could have ended up on a very different path. What I do know is that having Rory, having her in my life has made me better."
Christopher smiled as he grabbed her hand in an impulsive gesture of affection and he looked into her eyes, those stunning azure eyes that seemed a window into her soul and his voice was soft "Yes it has. I admire you Lor, everything you have, and everything you've made for yourself, with Rory and in your life. You're happy and I want that for you." Something in his voice had changed, gained a wistful quality that had the hairs raising on the back of Lorelai's neck and her own voice went slightly guarded as she tried to ease her hand out of his grip.
She looked at him for a long moment before she asked "Christopher, why are you here?" this time the question was a little fearful.
He saw the instant that little flare of wariness entered her eyes and she started to pull her hand back but he gripped it harder preventing her escape "Lor, I want you to be happy and I see you with Luke and he obviously makes you happy..."
She interrupted, her voice now tinged with just the slightest hint of desperation "Chris, please..."
He continued, knowing that if he didn't say the words now, he might never get the chance again. He had watched her with Luke for a while earlier, watched them dancing, laughing, the little touches, the quick kisses and he had seen it, a peace, a happiness that he hadn't see in her for a very long time. He knew in his heart that this might be his last chance at turning the tide. It came out in a rush all the words that lay heavy on his heart "Lor...let me finish, I have to say this. I could make you happy, I could be the guy, the one who makes you smile, the one who loves you. I want to be that guy."
She wanted to interject, to beg him to stop, not to make her chose, but his eyes pleaded with her to stay her execution of his hopes so she let him continue, thinking maybe that like lancing a wound this confession would cleanse him once and for all of the what ifs. Cleanse them both.
"I know I've screwed up a lot, for a long time I was running, not from you but from everything, from myself really. But I'm here now, I want to be with you, I want to make you happy, I want us to be a family. We belong together Lorelai... everyone knows it, I know it. There has never really been anyone else but you." He could see just the slightest indecision in her eyes and saw a crack open so he pushed onward grabbing her upper arms and pulling her towards him "We belong together Lorelai, you and me and Rory."
The words echoed eerily in her head. She felt frozen in that split second, teetering between two worlds. She was happy with Luke, she loved Luke, but here suddenly was everything she had wanted for so long laid out like one lovely buffet and all she had to do was reach out and take it, make that mirage a reality. She felt paralyzed by confusion, indecision, fettered by dreams long past, torn by those recently dreamt.
His lips inched closer to her as he pulled her towards him until suddenly something inside her fell into place, the piece that had always been missing, the piece that was not this man about to kiss her.
She snapped out of her trance and she put up a hand on his chest to push him away "Chri..." her voice halted mid-syllable when she saw a movement out of the corner of her eye that a second later resolved into an image of a man, a man with eyes that slashed her with their pain and gutted her in one fell swoop.
She bolted from her seat shaking off Christopher's shackling hands with the strength born of panic and took a large step towards the man in the door way "Luke...I... it's not what you think."
Luke's voice was low and flat and all the more powerful for it "I think that maybe he's right. Maybe you do belong with him."
Her voice came out on a choked denial as her heart dropped to her feet "No."
Luke gave her a look that slashed her straight through the heart "Was that what you would have said to him if I hadn't opened that door when I did?"
"Yes...I mean NO, I mean I would have said no, to him. Nothing happened, nothing was going to happen, you are the one I want Luke, you've got to believe me." Her voice was desperate, pleading.
Luke felled her with a single blow as his eyes raked her face "Why?"
He turned and strode from the room leaving her trembling for the time it took her to gather her wits, then she started after him.
Lorelai watched Luke go with stricken eyes that stabbed Chris to the heart but it didn't stop his hand from taking on a life of it's own and reaching out to stop her when she stepped forward to go after him.
"What are you doing?" It was a stupid question and they both knew it, obviously she was going after the man that she loved, the man that she had chosen.
Lorelai shrugged off the hand with an angry jerk and rounded on him "I'm going after Luke, who probably won't ever speak to me again after this, but I have try. What made you do it Chris? Couldn't stand to see me happy?"
Christopher recoiled as if she had slapped him, cut to the quick by the accusation in her voice "No Lor, I want you to be happy, I just want it to be with me. I love you; I've loved you as long as I can remember. You and I we have been a part of each other's lives for so long, but it seems like the timing has never been right with Rory and me getting my life together, then there was Max and Sherry and Gigi." He threw up his hands in one of those exaggerated gestures that come from too much alcohol mixed with too much pent up emotion. "It just seemed like now might finally be our chance, but then there was Luke and you look so happy, I guess it just broke my heart a little and I couldn't let you go without trying. I would have regretted it for ever."
"Chris, I can't do this now, I can't let you be the thing that I regret forever. I have to talk to Luke, fix things. I just hope it's not too late." She was filled with such a jumble of emotions that she could hardly see straight but there was one that outdistanced all the others and that was sheer panic, she had to get to Luke, had to make this right before it became a ever widening chasm between them. Fear was clawing at the back of her throat as she whirled on her heel and headed for the door at a sprint, the rules be damned, she'd run until her legs fell off if it meant this could be fixed.
Rory had just taken a step into the hallway when she was nearly bowled over by Luke coming the opposite direction. He reached out an automatic hand to steady her and the look she saw in his kind eyes was enough to have her sucking in a breath.
"I'm sorry." The comment was automatic and his mind was clearly not on the words.
She tried to hold the dread at abeyance and asked a careful neutral question "Did you find mom?"
"Yeah...I found her." the darkness that filled his tone spoke of hopelessness. He looked like a caged animal, eyes darting as they searched for the nearest escape "I'm sorry Rory, I've got to go. I need to think, I can't think here with the people and the music. I have to get out of here."
He let go of her arm and started to step away but her hand shot out to stop him "What happened?"
He didn't even look at her, just gently shook of the hand and patted it once. "I'm going to take a cab...you'll get your mom home?" it wasn't a question.
Rory just nodded as the dread gathered at the back of her throat, then he was walking away, striding with purposeful steps towards the exit.
She whirled and continued down the hallway opening doors at random until she found what she was looking for. She stopped in the doorway when she saw that the only person in the room was her father, sitting, head in hands with a posture that suggested total dejection. She hesitated, not sure she was ready for their next encounter to be quite this soon, still feeling the slight sting of anger and of embarrassment after the earlier run in.
It was the shaking of his shoulders that had her feet moving. A little embarrassment couldn't make her stop caring about the man who although far from perfect was still her father.
She sat down in the chair next to him, unaware that she had taken the seat only just vacated by her mother and she reached out a slightly tremulous hand to rest on his shoulder. He lifted his head quickly apparently unaware of his company until that moment. "Lor?" the hopeful tone died when his eyes landed on Rory. "Oh, Rory. I thought..." he brushed a hand surreptitiously across his cheek trying to hide the moisture there. "Never mind."
He looked at the girl before him, the girl whom he had just shouted at in front of her boyfriend and claimed not to trust and he saw the empathy, the caring, and the forgiveness in those eyes, eyes so like her mothers. What he had done, coming here today had been selfish and small and he didn't deserve that forgiveness, not from either of them but he was going to try to earn it. He straightened slightly and took the hand that lay on his shoulder. "Rory, I just want to apologize about my outburst earlier...your mom was right, I should have trusted you. You're a good kid and I have to hope you have a hell of a lot better judgment than I do."
Rory searched his eyes but saw only sincerity there so she let go of the residual anger, forgave him, as was her nature to do. "It's gone, the hard drive is wiped clean...no worries."
He shook his head "I don't know what got into me."
She gave a little laugh and couldn't help a little sarcasm "I'm thinking the spirit of Glenlivet?"
Christopher winced at that well placed jab but recovered quickly "Talisker actually."
Rory laughed slightly at that "Whoo...when you pick your poison you sure go for top of the barrel."
He squinted a little at her "Do I want to know how you came to know so much about brands of scotch?"
"I have a friend who considers himself something of a connoisseur... enough babbling litanies to the gods of the single malt and a little is bound to stick in my brain. I fear we've exhausted the extent of my knowledge though." She smiled at him, a peace offering.
Christopher nodded and looked at her for a moment before asking in a slightly hesitant voice "So, we okay kid?"
Rory nodded "Yeah, we're okay. Every dad is allowed a few major fouls, you have a few to catch up on so we'll let this one slide."
Christopher smiled a little "Good." He gave her a little sideways hug and then pulled away with a little of the usual humor in his eyes "So...about this friend...wouldn't happen to be the guy I nearly caught you naked as a jay bird with would it?"
"Dad..." her tone was censuring and her cheeks pinking, "You're doing it again."
He held up his hands in supplication "Sorry, sorry, it's the poison talking.'
Rory just shook her head at him "And did you just say naked as a jaybird? Are you channeling an entire hippie nudist colony now? You seriously need to work on your euphemisms before Gig starts dating boys."
He pretended outrage at such a dastardly suggestion. "Hold your tongue evil child...Gigi is never going to date boys...she's going to be a nun."
Rory just patted him on the shoulder, glad that a little of the easiness had returned to their interaction "Not a bad goal but if I were you I'd start working on a backup plan." She regretfully shifted the topic "So dad, I'm glad that we figured this out but do you know where mom went, I saw Luke and I'm kind of worried about her."
Christopher sighed and sadness cloaked his features like a veil had been dropped obscuring the humor of the previous moment "She went after him. You should find her. She needs you."
Rory stood "Okay." She paused at the door with a backward glance "You're going to be okay?"
The question nearly brought another tear to his eyes...he didn't deserve her comfort. He waved her away "I will be. You just find Lorelai."
She looked down the hallway but saw no sign of her. She turned back to her dad "Do you know which way she went?" the words had barely left her mouth when she heard an alarm start to wail from the far end of the hallway where it vanished out of sight around a corner. "Never mind...I think I found her." despite all previous protests to the contrary she hit the hallway at a run.
Lorelai darted her eyes from one end of the hallway to the other realizing she had no idea which way Luke had gone, but if she knew him he would be looking to get away. She knew there was an exit to the parking lot at the far end of the hallway so she set off for it at a run. She ran like her life depended on it. She had to catch Luke, to tell him again that nothing had happened, that she knew what she wanted now and what she wanted was him, that she didn't want to imagine the crater that would be left in her life if he were suddenly not a part of it. She was oblivious to the Emergency Exit Only sign and slammed through the door with all her weight not even hearing the shrill whine of the alarm that followed her steps into the parking lot. She searched the lot frantically until her eyes landed on the taillights of a cab as it pulled on to the road. It was too far away to see it's occupant but her heart knew who was in that passenger seat. She felt her knees give out and she slumped against the door at her back, certain that she would have crumpled to the ground had it not been for her death grip on the emergency exit sign. She dropped her chin to her chest and fought for breath around the elephant sized weight that had taken up residence there. She wanted to shatter into a billion pieces, to fall to that hard asphalt at her feet and allow herself to be swamped by the wave of fear and loss that was building inside her. She wanted to think that this wasn't the end, that one stupid moment of indecision, of weakness couldn't have changed everything so quickly but she had seen Luke's eyes and she would be lying to herself if she thought anything but the truth. This was her fault. She shuddered once with suppressed self-loathing and clung to the door for support.
Rory found her that way, head bowed, shoulders slumped and still as death as she stared blindly at the ground, surrounded by the cacophony of the wailing alarm. She looked smaller, defeated, and lifeless. Rory approached slowly as one might a wounded animal and was beginning to worry that she had stopped breathing all together, that all that stood here was her mother's corpse devoid of all life. Then she watched as Lorelai took a deep breath that caught on an almost sob. She spoke finally, her voice low and grating and filled with self-incrimination "I screwed up kid. This time I really screwed up." She still hadn't taken her vigilant stare from the patch of asphalt in front of her.
"What happened mom?" the question was careful.
She was silent for a long time and Rory wondered if she had even heard her but then she answered "Luke..." her voice broke a little "he saw...Chris and I...he thought...I hesitated...I couldn't' catch him."
She looked up at that and the utter misery in her eyes had Rory's own chest clenching in pain as she stepped forward to try to pull that death grip from the door. She came woodenly, stiff and cold and Rory could do nothing but soothe, in soft tones and murmured reassurances which she doubted Lorelai even heard. "He's gone...I didn't catch him and now he's gone and I'm afraid it's for good."
She gathered her mother into her arms like one would a fragile, broken child and rocked her. "Mom, it's okay. It's Luke. He loves you; he waited this long for you he's not going to walk away now. He'll come back. He just needs time to think."
Lorelai looked up at her with shattered eyes that held only unshed tears and bleak truth "You didn't see his eyes."
There was nothing that could refute the voice of despair so Rory settled for the next best thing pushing Lorelai's hair back off her face and asking in a gentle voice "Do you want to leave? We can go home. You can rest. Tomorrow you can talk to him, you can explain. Everything will be better tomorrow."
There was a long silence as Lorelai thought about that option, she could run, she could hide, find solace in her sanctuary and find a way to fix this mess that she had made. It wouldn't be right though, she didn't deserve the reprieve. With a strength inherent to her nature and honed by years of standing alone against the world she pulled all her feelings in, tied them down with ropes of steel and tightened the bonds until that ball of feeling had shrunk to a small tightly wound lump in her heart. Until nothing was left but the emptiness left in the wake of a storm. She straightened and pulled back from her daughter, stood tall one muscle at a time until her frame was as rigid and cold as steel.
She would persevere, emotional implosion was not an option right now, here in front of her daughter, her parents, there would be time latter to figure things out for now she had to fulfill her duty and make a clean exit. She put a hand that felt ice cold to the touch but was firm on Rory's shoulder "Let's go back in."
Rory protested, hating the haunted emptiness of her mother's gaze "Mom, I'm sure grandma and grandpa would understand if you just told them."
The only emotion that leaked through that ironclad shield was sadness "No Rory, they wouldn't understand and they won't have to. The don't need to know. I don't want to ruin this day for your grandparents. I've ruined too many of their important days."
She stepped resolutely through the door and only glanced back to gesture for Rory to follow she tried for a light off hand tone but fell a good way short "Come on kid, I don't need pity, I just need a ice cream, a good mindless movie, a couch and some coffee." She choked a bit at the last word but continued on "The sooner we go say our goodbyes the sooner I can make it back to wallowville."
Rory smiled wanly and played the game "Okay mom, let's make tracks and then I'll come home with you, we can watch Fawlty Towers until your eyes bleed and I'll get you as much ice cream as you can eat without turning into a snow man."
Lorelai wanted to take her up on it but she hated to take her away from her own night "Ah hun, you don't need to do that, I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself. You go back with Logan and your friends, at least one of us should have a happy ending to the night."
Rory jsut rolled her eyes "Are you finished with your martyr speech?"
Lorelai shrugged and looked slightly petulant "I was just warming up actually."
"Well don't bother and don't argue. This one you won't win. My mind is made up. I'm coming back with you and I'm not leaving until Stars Hollow runs out of Ben and Jerry's." She gave her the patented Gilmore 'I will not be moved' look.
The smile was a mere shadow of it's former self but it was genuine as Lorelai put her arm aroudn her daughter and bumped hips with her "You know you're pretty feisty and obstinate when you want to be...I think you got that from me."
"Undoutedly...no one does pig-headed better than Lorelai Gimore."
"Thanks Kid. Don't know what a girl would do without her best friend here to pick up the pieces."
They walked arm in arm back to the ballroom and stopped at the threshold. Lorelai took a deep breath and turned to her daughter, her beautiful, kind daughter with the worried eyes and smoothed a hand down her cheek "Don't worry sweets, I'll be fine. You go talk to Logan and the motley crew over there and I'll start saying my goodbyes...a few snapshots, some sappy hugs and we'll be out of here."
Rory looked at her suspiciously "Promise me you won't try to sneak out without me... I'd just have to come after you and I know where you live...more importantly I know which turtle you keep the key in."
Lorelai tried for a playful pout "Mean but I promise, cross my heart and hope to die, stick a thousand needles in my eye." She crossed her heart solemnly with her pointer finger.
They peeled off in opposite directions as they entered the ballroom and Rory headed for the table where Logan, Stephanie and Colin sat with eyes riveted on something in front of them. She followed their eyes to the stage and her eyes widened as she took in the sight that met them. There, center stage with a microphone were Finn and Alice doing what appeared to be a passable re-enactment of A Chorus Line."
She put her hands on Logan's shoulders who turned his head slightly to place an absent minded kiss on her knuckles but never removed his eyes from the scene on the stage. She leaned down and whispered "I was only gone for a few minutes how did he manage to storm the stage? That must of been one hell of a military coup."
He chuckled "Not a drop of bloodshed. The bandleader GAVE him the mike of his own free will...I think there may have been hypnotization involved but if so it was a slight of hand. Finn could make a good living as a snake charmer."
She put her chin on his shoulder and watched for a moment "Okay, that explains Finn who wasn't all that surprising in the first place but how on earth did he get Alice up there with him?'
Logan shook his head "It seems that once our enchanted friend got a drink or two in her it became apparent that she has a bit of fixation on show tunes, another of Finn's many passions. You already missed South Pacific, West Side Story, Gypsy, Carnival, Wicked and a rather disturbing rendition of Little Shop of Horrors, my greatest fear is that Grease will be next."
Her tone was skeptical "What no one had a hook like in the Vaudeville days?"
Logan laughed a little incredulously as he watched Finn execute a rather impressive high kick "Actually I think he might get a standing ovation."
She laughed a little soaking in the moment of light hearted fun as she let her eyes scan the room, the majority of guests seemed to be enjoying the impromptu entertainment and she smiled at Finn's ability to win over a crowd.
Her smiled faltered a little when she saw her mother talking to her grandparents, Lorelai was tough but Rory knew the signs and the crossed arms and stiff posture indicated that she was close to the edge, that she was holding things together by sheer force of will. Rory sighed as she straightened from Logan's shoulders.
Logan heard the sad little sigh in his ear and tore his eyes from the stage to look at Rory. The worry that he saw in her gaze had him taking a closer look. She was upset about something and he was suddenly much more interested in what was bothering her than watching Finn make a fool of himself, there was no shortage of opportunities for the later. He put a hand over hers to stop the motion as she pulled back from him and met her eyes as she asked "Can I talk to you for a minute?"
He was up and out of his seat in a second and followed her a short distance from the table before he stopped her and turned her back to face him "Is everything okay Ace?"
She looked up at him and felt a little catch in her heart when she saw the worry evident in his gaze. Her answer was soft "No, not really, but I hope it will be."
He didn't think twice but opened his arms and she came into them willingly, wanting nothing more than to sink into the warmth and comfort he offered. Only she couldn't afford to sink just now, she had to be there for her mom, to help her through this thing, whatever it was. It was what they did for each other; stood side by side no matter what came their way. His arms folding around her lulled her for a moment though and she decided it wouldn't hurt to take this one-minute of solace.
Logan's heart hurt for her and it was a new sensation for him. He wanted nothing more than to make things better for her, to assuage whatever pain had caused the heaviness in those lake blue eyes. It was foreign. this desire to stand for another, to take on another's burden but he didn't question it, just knew that it was. "Is there anything I can do to help?" his question was spoken into the silk of her hair but she heard it.
She gave him one last squeeze before she released her grip on him "You've already done more than you know. Just enjoy the rest of the party, go home with the group, dream pleasant dreams about me. I'm going home with my mom and I don't know how long I will be there but I'll let you know as soon as I get back to Yale."
He cupped her face in his hands and leaned in to give her a soft kiss. "Come see me when you get back. I don't care what time of day or night. I'll be waiting."
Her voice was soft the gratitude shining in her gaze "Thanks Logan... for everything."
He tapped the tip of her nose with his finger "Anything for you Ace. Anything." She knew from the look in his eyes that he was offering more than a shoulder to cry on.
She would have kissed him again but the shattering of crystal and the sound of shrill angry words that drowned out even the rousing strains of Finn's version of Fiddler on The Roof's To Life pulled her back to reality. She whirled towards the center of the room from whence the sounds had emanated and blanched when she saw her mother, white and shaking and face to face with her grandmother across a puddle of broken glass.
"I've got to go Logan, I'll call you later." she tore herself from Logan's grasp and raced for her mother.
Rory reached Lorelai's shoulder just as she heard the next words uttered from her lips, lips that now looked cold and blue as if all blood flow to them had been cut off, stymied by the sheer rage that now flashed out of her eyes to incinerate the woman in front of her. "You did this...you invited Christopher?"
Emily had paled slightly but appeared unwilling to back down falling back on the imperious, cold tone that had gotten her through many a battle "I invited him, yes, anything after that was your choice, not mine, so don't try to lay the blame at my feet."
Lorelai's lips twisted in a cold, brittle smile that spoke nothing of warmth but rather of a predator sharpening its teeth and preparing to strike, her words shot out like venom, bitter, hard and sharp as a double edged sword "You really are a soulless, heartless creature mother. Where your heart should be there is nothing but a lump of ice pumping that precious blue blood of yours. Whatever this game you think you are playing is, it's over. You and I are finished." Where rage had been now there was nothing. Empty, emotionless words that were deadly as poisonous darts true in their aim. Lorelai turned with her head held high and stalked from the room oblivious to the crunch of glass under foot.
Emily and Rory both watched her go, frozen in place by the icy breeze that blew in her wake and then Rory looked at her grandmother, helpless to understand what would bring mother and daughter to such a bitter precipice. She knew that Emily loved her mother, had always forgiven her actions thinking them the ill-advised but not ill-intentioned actions of a woman who knew no other way to show love other than through shaping, controlling, providing what she thought best for the ones she loved. Now she saw a different woman, a smaller woman, a woman who selfishly held on to the things she loved even though it suffocated them, ultimately killed them. She saw in that instant that Emily Gilmore knew no other way to love and it broke her heart.
She backed away a step but then stopped her retreat with on last question "Why grandma?"
Emily's eyes swung towards her glazed with shock as if she were still trying to comprehend what had happened "I just want what's best for her." It was the honest answer and hopelessly inadequate.
Rory shrunk back from her and her tone neared pity "No, you want what's best for you. I feel sorry for you if you can't see the difference." She turned on her heel and ran after her mom.
The music on the stage had come to a halt and Emily felt the heavy, echoing silence fall as the blood froze in her veins and fear slammed her in the chest where her flesh and blood heart did reside. It was Richard's hand falling on her shoulder that startled her out of her trance and she looked at him with wide, vulnerable eyes "She's gone."
Richard patted her helplessly on the shoulder not knowing what to say, how to fix this catastrophe "Don't worry Emily she'll come around, she always does."
She shook her head slowly as she remembered the cold rage in Lorelai's eyes, the empty echoing finality of her daughter's tone "No Richard, this time she meant it. This time she's not coming back." She shivered a little as if suddenly feeling a chill and hugged her arms to herself.
