Disclaimer: I hate this things If I owned KH I would have someone writing this things for me
Parings: Sora/Riku others later on
Rating: PG-13 for now rating to change
Warnings: This fic is a YAOI and in case the paring didn't give it away it means male/male relationships don't like don't read. Really very simple. It's also an AU okay. Well having said that enjoy the story.
A/N: First of all thanks so much for all the great reviews guys, they're greatly appreciated. Now second order of business I have to explain something I should have from the beginning. I'm trying to keep all thecharacter in character as much as I possibly can. Though I should mention in character to their original games. For example Squall, I'm taking his character more from FFVIII than how he is in KH. Doesn't he seem a bit OOC in KH? Maybe it's just me? As for Tidus I haven't played FFX so all I have to go on is how he acts in KH which isn't a whole lot, so he might be very OOC at some points. The same goes for characters I'll be introducing later on. So if you haven't played the original games they're from and they seem a little OOC you know the reason. Right, moving on
Thanks to: VampssAmby10210, thanks for all your wonderful reviews. animegirl171, thanks for liking the chapter, as for the Squall not being called Leon well I just like Squall better, but I could squeeze in a few Leons here and there if you really want, as a thank you for the reviews, let me know. SupaSaiyajin, thanks I love knew reviewers. Master Fluffy, Thanks you. Lady Geagua, yep Squall is in fact gay. Heather Christi, I'm so glad you like my story. Squall might seem like a jerk cause he's kind of umm lacks people skills FFVIII like I explain above, but he'll get better I promise. PrincessSwiffty, (lol) I like that term "snogging like there's no tomorrow". Ellannor, Thanks always glad to hear that, the play though titled Kingdom Hearts it's well not, I hope you won't be disappointed I'll reveal more of it next chapter I think. kizan2, thanks I love reviews. eyhjiulei, heh-he sweet moment before the storm describes it perfectly literally and figuratively right on the spot. I know I'm so sadistic evil. Elven-eyes, if you think Squall and Tidus is weird read this chapter it starts getting weirder if you read the hints. And yeah Riku has a little bit more torture to go, but it only makes the sweetness only more sweet. Whoa! Graduation! we still have a long while to go before that and a lot can happen between now and then. So do not despair. And I always look forward to reading your reviews thanks. Min-Kat, Really? I had those songs playing while I wrote it, though they were the Japanese versions. Dillon, Thanks for the review. I know I make a lot of mistakes, but I especially hate it when I misspell the characters name, so thanks for pointing it out. And feel free to point out any really annoying mistakes I'll revise everything eventually. Oh and speaking of mistakes someone misspelled a word coughlikecough in their last sentence (lol ) Sorry Just had to do that. No hard feelings though 'kay. Love attentive readers. Sakura N, (gasps and falls of chair !) Thank you so much that is the most flattering thing anyone has ever said to me (goes off skipping happily while singing, "I feel pretty oh so pretty and witty and gaaa er"stops) hey what are you still doing read on.
Sora moaned feeling Riku bite then lick his lips lightly. He kissed Riku again, he wanted more of Riku, it seemed like he couldn't get enough of him. After a few more moments of breathless kissing, they realized they needed oxygen. They broke apart slowly, Riku opened his yes to see a slightly blushing Sora starring up at him. They were both panting, slightly out of breath. And suddenly almost as if they had been burned they pulled away from one another. Starring at each other with the full realization of what they had just done.
Sora brought one hand to his lips, which were still tingling form Riku's kiss. He was breathing hard looking at Riku with shock in his eyes.
"Riku I am so sorry."
Sora whispered bringing his hand down to his side. Riku's heart sank hearing Sora apologize. An apology was not what Riku was hoping nor wanted to hear. Sora was already regretting having kissed him. Riku watched sadly as Sora sank down onto the black bean bag behind him, looking lost.
"Do you regret it then? Kissing me?"
Riku asked wanting and not wanting to know at the same time. Sora thoughtabout what Riku had just asked him and was confused to say the least. Did he regret the kiss?
"No. I mean. I.. don't know Riku. I'm not sure."
Riku took a deep breath, of relief? Not likely Sora was confused that meant Sora wasn't regretting anything yet. At least that much was clear. So he needed to give him some time let him think things through. The last thing Riku wanted to do was push him away. They both needed to think things through, because no matter what they did, things were about to change between them, for the better or worse still remained to be seen.
Sora was holding his head rubbing his temples furiously. Hoping the action would slow down the thoughts and feeling battling with in him.
"What... what now? What happens now Riku? We can't pretend that didn't happen so, What does it mean?"
Sora asked unsure. He looked up at Riku waiting for him to answer. Riku had turned his head and was looking out of Sora's window trying to come up with the best answer. He turned to look down at Sora and answered him as honestly as he could.
"It means, whatever you want it to mean Sora. I am notunsure of what I feel, I may not know what it means, though I know what I want it to mean. Though..."
Sora watched Riku following him with his gaze as his friend walked towards him kneeling in front of him. Riku wanted to hold Sora's hand, but decided physical contact was at the moment inappropriate and settled for placing his hands on the floor.
"Though it means nothing if you don't know what it means to you. Whatever you decide I'll agree, because despite everything you are my best friend."
Sora was looking straight at Riku, as if wanting to find the answers to his questions. He chewed on his bottom lip thinking about everything at once.
"What does it meant to you Riku?"
Sora whispered. Riku wanted to tell him the truth. He wanted to tell Sora, he wanted to be more than friends, that he had been developing stronger feelings than friendship for quite some time. If he did that he could risk scaring Sora away. Sora already seemed so overwhelmed with his own feelings. He didn't need to know what Riku felt. Riku didn't want his feelings to influence in any way what Sora felt. He was afraid if he told Sora he liked him, Sora would feel pressured to go into something he was not ready for. Sora needed to figure out things for himself, why he had kissed him back. Whether it be the fact he was caught in the moment, or because he felt the same way Riku did.
Riku lowered his face, shaking his head. He looked back upto Sora who seemed disappointed.
"I don't want, what I think to influence what you feel. I want you to really think about your feelings. Take all the time you need. But have a clear head before you decided anything or even if you don't decide anything."
Riku knew he was speaking in sort of riddles and he didn't make much sense to himself. Though at the moment Sora was too overwhelmed to notice, he merely nodded in agreement. Riku sighed and stood up he wanted to hug or kiss Sora goodnight, but after what had happened it wouldn't be the same and he didn't want Sora even more confused. So he settled for placing his hand on Sora's shoulder giving it a slight squeeze.
"Goodnight Sora."
Sora reached up covering Riku's hand with his own giving it a squeeze.
"Night Riku."
Their hands slowly slipped apart as Riku made his way to the window making his way to his room, noticing how dark the sky was and how lightning kept flashing. It looked like a storm was coming. He hopped into his own window hoping Sora would be okay with the storm.
Once inside his room, Rikutook one last look at the window across his, hoping he would see Sora standing there smiling at him. Sora was not. All he saw was the curtains drawn and light coming from the room which held the boy he had left all his hopes with.
It was up to Sora now. If he wanted to just be friends, they would remain just friends. If he wanted to be more than friends, that would be great. Riku got ready for bed and slipped under his covers, closing his eyes not to sleep, but to think. There was another option he didn't even want to consider. What if Sora wanted nothing to do with him any more? Riku hoped against hope such was not the case. Sighing he flipped and turned in his bed sleep seeming miles and miles away.
Across his house in the bedroom parallel to his, Sora was not having happier thoughts. He had not moved from the spot in the bean bag. All he could thinkabout was Riku. He had kissed Riku, he had just kissed his best friend. He closed his eyes remembering how gently yet fiery the kiss had been. Now he was suppose to figure out what it had meant to him.
In short it was very special it had after all been his first kiss. In all honestly he was confused and frustrated. He didn't want things to change between Riku and him. He wanted things to be the same as always. Sora shook his head knowing that would never happen, things had changed. No matter what he told himself, the fact remained they had kissed, Sora had liked the kiss, it felt good, very good. The problem was, he didn't know if Riku had just kissed him out of comfort or perhaps something else. Did he want it to be something else?
Sora stood and started pacing the room with his hands claps behind his back. He jumped and glared when he heard thunder rumbling outside. At least the weather was describing his mood perfectly. He could feel the wind pushing rain into his room through the open window and didn't mind at all.
He continued his pacing. Why had Riku told him to decide what things meant? Why didn't he? Why wasn't Riku helping him figure things out? Why was Riku not there? Riku was in fact not there, but across his room sleeping peacefully, while Sora racked his poor brain trying to figure out what he felt. Deep down, very deep down being pushed down by all the fear and insecurity he knew what felt, though he was afraid. Of what? he was not sure, perhaps being hurt? or rejection? or loosing his best friend?
He needed to think very carefully. What he decided could put everything in jeopardy. He liked Riku, that much was obvious to him now, but what if he decided to dive into something head first, than ruin their friendship. He couldn't do that but he couldn't just stand by and wonder what things would have been like. Or could he? Could he live with just being Riku's friend?
He groaned in frustration.. He walked over to the window facing Riku's room. He glared at the opposite window, the lights were off and Riku was most likely sleeping. Sora wondered again why Riku was not there with him, helping figure out what he wanted? He knew Riku cared, but he didn't want to deal with his feelings because he was just as scared as Sora was. Instead he left Sora to take on all the burden. Leaving him to decided whatever he wanted, and Riku would he okay with whatever he decided. Not because his own feelings didn't matter it was because he didn't want to deal with them. Instead he was lying on his bed comfortably, while Sora was left in turmoil or that's what Sora thought.
As if he had just kissed himself. No. Riku had been the one who kissed him so why was he dealing with this by himself?
Deciding it was not acceptable. Sora gave a firm nod, as he took a hold of the window frame hosting himself up on tothe window and froze as thunder rumbled loudly and lightning flash madly among the dark sky right before his eyes. Sora inhaled sharply.
"Damn is that supposed to be a warning?"
But Sora wasn't one to heed warnings.Sora shook his head not a warning a challenge. His heart was beating madly inside his chestand he was thinking how much he hated storms. He took a deep breath and he reached out taking the branch a bit above his head taking a good grip. Feeling as rain fell and hit his skin leaving wet spots . He had never done the trip while it rained, Riku had though. Just for him he had.
Everytime there was a storm he would come over dripping wet, Sora would let him borrow some pajama bottoms and would close his eyes sleeping soundlessly knowing Riku was right next to him.
Now it was his turn to make the trip during the storm and he was petrified and wonder how Riku managed. Rain was now fully pounding on his head soaking his entire body. He moved carefully and slowly hopping down onto the roof and just as carefully moved to Rikus window all he had to do was go inside and away from the storm.
The window was opened as usual and he hopped inside making a squishy noise with his wet shoes. He was dripping from head to toe, but at least he was inside now.
He walked next to Riku's bed and stood there starring down at the silver haired angel in the bed. he looked so calm and peaceful like he didn't have a care in the world.
Sora walked to the foot of the bed watching his friendfrom a far. Riku was on his back one hand on his stomach the other beneath his head. Breathing evenly and peacefully unaware of the boy in his room.
Sora stared making no move to wake his friend. He stared down at him thinking what it would be like if Riku was not there, if he had never met him and pushed the thought away.
Riku stirred and snapped his eyes open. Immediately he felt something was wrong, but what? Lightning flashed outside illuminating his room as well as the boy at he foot of his bed. Sitting up with a start he stared into the angry face of Sora.
"Sora!"
He gasped startled. Thunder and lightning cracked outside making a terrifying crunching sound and Sora had to fight the urge to jump in Riku's bed and hide under the covers. In return Riku had to fight the urge to go to Sora and hold him. He saw the fear in Sora's eyes and took in the sight of the soaked boy for the first time. Sora had crossed the tree in the strom.
"Sora are you all right?"
Sora glared at Riku and raised his hand pointing an accusing finger at his friend.
"You Riku are a coward."
Riku blinked staring at his friend. Sora continued before Riku could have a chance to say anything.
"How dare you do that to me? How dare you walk out on me and tell me to decide what I want? Like what you want doesn't matter? Like you don't care. I know you do, but you don't want to deal with what just happened because you're just as confused as I am But noooo! Instead of helping me decide what it is and what not. You hide in your room leaving me to decide for something we both should. These aren't just my feelings Riku they're yours just as well. Even if you don't want to deal with them. That's why you're a coward."
Sora finished heaving angrily. Riku sighed and here he thought he was doing Sora a favor by letting him decide things between them. But it seemed like it had been way too much for him. He should have explain his feelings did not need sorting and he knew exactly what he wanted. Sora was the one who needed to sort out what he wanted. Riku remained still, for fear any sudden movement would send Sora bolting back to his own room.
"Sora" he began slowly "I'm not the one who's confused. These are your feelings because I've already sorted mine out. I know what I want I know how I feel, but I don't want my feelings to influence or in anyway pressure you into feeling something you don't."
Sora stood there shaking with fear, cold and anger. Why was Riku doing this to him?
"Why Riku do you think what you feel doesn't matter?"
Riku shook his head.
"No that's not it. I think that you need to figure out what you feel because whatever it is that you feel is what I feel, you just need to figure it out. Not for both of us justfor you."
Riku lied hoping Sora hadn't notice. He wanted Sora to be more than his friend, but if Sora wasn't ready or didn't want to be more than friends, he had to respect his decision. He didn't dare say that to Sora thought. Sora needed to figure out what he felt first.
Sora thought about what Riku had just said and couldn't decide whether do be angry or confused or maybe both. Riku was speaking in riddles again it seemed. He sighed tiredly. He was sure Riku's words meant more but for the moment he would take Riku's words for their apparent meaning.
"Okay. I'm no sure what I feel Riku."
"Then take all the time you need Sora."
I'll wait. Riku thought.
Sora nodded a little more calm or perhaps it was due to the fatigue that had crept into his body.
"Okay I will. And I'm really sorry I called you a coward. I think I'll go to bed now."
He said moving to the window meaning to cross the tree to his room. Riku shot out of bed and took Sora's arm.
"Lets use the door this time. I really don't want you climbing that tree during a storm."
Sora could have argued that Riku did it all the time, buthewas tired of arguing and merely nodded. Riku took a gray rain coat from his closet and slipped it on. Taking a white cotton t-shirt and navy blue sweat pants handing them to sora.
"You should change before you catch a cold."
Sora nodded taking the garments from Riku's hand and moving to a door leading into Riku's bathroom. He changed slowly due to the fact his clothing was plastered to his skin with the water. He dried off with a towel and slipped into Riku's sweat pants, which felt warm and dry against his cold skin. He took the cotton shirt pulling it over his head, closing his eyes and smiled, as the scent of the t-shirt hit his nostrils. It smelled like Riku. Sora thought and inhaled deeply.
He sighed and dumped his wet clothes inside Riku's clothes hamper and stepped out of the bathroom. Riku held up a pair of shoes for him, which he slipped on with out tying them, they were a bit big anyway.
"Ready?"
Sora nodded and Riku took out another rain coat, which was black and handed it to Sora.
He led Sora out of his room and pulled out a black umbrella from one of the hall closets as Sora slipped the rain coat on. Noticing how nicely Riku's gray rain coat hugged his hips and ass. Riku turned back to Sora. Sora blushed looking away thankful for the lack of light.
They step outside pressed close together under the umbrella and in to the stormy night. In other circumstances Riku would have held Sora close by the waist, but things were no longer the same between them and he wondered if they would ever be the like thatagain.
They made their way to Sora's backyard walking towards the back door. Sora took the spare key which was hidden underneath a brick. He opened the door and turned to Riku. who smile gently at him.
"I'm going to need time to sort things out Riku."
Riku nodded
"Like I said before take all the time you need Sora."
He said and deciding to take a risk, he pulled Sora into a one arm hug while holding the umbrella with his other hand and kissed his cheek. Sora returned the hug, but not the kiss. Riku pulled away and left and Sora went inside his house.
Cardel: Well that was lacking.
Jin: Though angsty.
Cardel: (sighs) yeah though I'm not too happy with the way it turned out, I had to write that chapter about three times before I was happy with it or semi happy. So, Sorry if it seems like it's going in circles, next will be better right Jin.
Jin(pats Cardel on head) Don't worry we'll try harder next chapter, it's hard thinking angst when you're all happy (whacks Cardel)
Cardel: Ow! I can't help it, The Two Towers comes out today and, and, and ready for this? Saint Seiya(original anime title) a.k.a. Knights of the Zodiac (U.S. anime title)a.k.a. Caballeros del Zodiaco(first title I knew anime by) is coming out on cartoon network my all time favorite anime since I was seven since before I even knew what the hell anime was yay!( starts screaming hysterically)
Demak:( 00 ) And you guys think I'm bad?
Jin: (covering his ears) Well seeing Cardel is a bit preoccupied right now I'll be taking over for a bit, ahead more angst (grins evily)
Cardel: (a bit more calm) Seriously though if you get cartoon network watch this anime I know it's a bit old, but it's great. (start screaming hysterically again)
Demak: Any way thanks for all the reviews they make us feel all giddy and warm see ya next chapie! (waves cheerfully)
