Disclaimer: I hate this things If I owned KH I would have someone writing this things for me
Parings: Sora/Riku Cloud/Squall (for now I think)
Overall Rating: R
Chapter Rating: PG-13
Warnings: This fic is a YAOI and in case the paring didn't give it away it means male/male relationships don't like don't read. Really very simple. It's also an AU okay. Well having said that enjoy the story.
A/N: (takes deep breath) Sorry for updating so late I usually try to update every four to five days the latest but life has been hectic the past few days but it's okay everything's back to normal. Now after long hours of mauling over things I have decided to bring Sephiroth in to the story. It was not an easy decision to make I know most of you wanted him in but, I still felt unsure and I was actually not going to bring him in. Then I got this great idea for him but I thought nah, but the idea wouldn't leave me so after giving it very careful consideration I've decided he's going in I really hope you guys like him. He won't be in for a few more chapters though, so you'll just have to wait.
Thanks to: Only Haunted. Thanks and be happy Sephiroth is coming in. Lady Geagua, thanks for the ten and sorry for the wait. Gray Elven-Eyes, Mansmut I learned a new word yay! And I know I mean any one could have just walked in on them, horny teenagers, but that's not necessarily a bad thing(giggles). Raika the Dark Goddess, Thanks and sorry I haven't had time to read your material but I will promise. Heather Christi, thanks I thought that rock idea was so Sora. Zelphie, sex later on. animegirl171, thanks a bunch. Master Fluffy, thanks glad you like and Sephy is going in the story. Kaharu, (grinning from ear to ear) me a professional? Aww thanks (glomps Kaharu) that really is flattering. Oh and Wakka is coming in later on I've not forgotten him. Eva, thank you, thank you, thank you, and I really hope I don't screw him up. Spirit Lotus, well bringing Sephiroth in will definitely make the story longer but no betrayal thing but I have lots more angst planned I mean what's a good fic with out angst right? thunder dragon, thanks though I'm afraid that's not the last well see err read of them getting freaky but that's a good thing. Ani-coolgirl, yeah I know how you feel they have my heart too especially Bakura (sigh). esaure, GA! don't die yet more good stuff coming up. Jaded queen of the Damned, I did enjoy your rant as you so call it and thanks for the idea I liked it. PrincessSwifty, I know such horny boys they are. Dreamer, no secrets, it's kind of well not complicated but well you'll just have to read how I introduce them and their relationship. Mushashi445, umm thank you so much your comment really, really helped me with my decision to bring Sephiroth in and you're right I can't please everyone but I think I'm okay with that. April Chan, thank you so much you have no idea how great your advice was part of the reason I took so long to update was because I was busy thinking the plot through something I wouldn't have really done if you hadn't suggested it. So I hope you won't be desapointed in Sephiroth's roll, but if you are let me know I'd really appreciate it Rock and Yaoi, I'd really loved to help you out so could you tell me what Kanhi is? I feel really stupid right now. Kizna2, thank yous. Thanks to everyone who review and sorry if I misspelled anyone's name.
"Riku!"
Selphie yelled as soon as she entered the room. To Riku's horror she began running towards his bed ready to leap into it, fortunately Sora predicted such an action and stepped in front of the energetic girl. He held his arms outstretched to the sides and Selphie stopped glaring at Sora.
"Sora?"
"Sorry Selphie, but no jumping in Riku's bed. You um might hurt his arm"
Sora explained quickly. Selphie's nodded seeming to understand and Sora lowered his arms. Riku almost sighed in relief. If Sora hadn't stopped her things would have been rather embarrassing.
"Besides I just ate. You don't want to see my food again or do you?"
Selphie stepped around Sora and smiled down at her friend shaking her head wrinkling her nose. Kairi and Tidus walked to the other side of Riku.
"Hey Riku. So how are you feeling?"
Asked Kairi coming to the left side of Riku's bed Tidus right beside her.
"Much better, it's just a stupid broken arm.
Tidus looked at him with what could only be sympathy, he couldn't imagine breaking something and not being able to play the sport he loved so much.
"I'm glad"
She said leaning down hugging him. Riku would have hugged her back but was holding onto the food tray with his only working arm, and to hug her that would have meant letting go of said tray and revealing his still some what aroused state.
"So did they tell you what else they think you have."
Tidus asked him, after Kairi had pulled away. Riku snorted and rolled his eyes.
"Yeah. Can you believe it? Me have an eating disorder It took me a while to convince Dr. Gabriel I didn't"
Kairi's eyes widen in surprise.
"You mean he actually believe you. Not that he wouldn't I mean they don't take thing like that very lightly. So for him to have dismissed it so quickly is unusual."
Riku nodded agreeing with her.
"It took me a while to convince him, but after explaining certain things he believed me"
Riku said. Selphie smiled seeing how Riku had given Sora a little look when he had said "certain" things. Her smiled grew even wider when she saw Sora blush at the look.
She stood there switching her gaze back and forth the two and couldn't help ask what came out next.
"So did you tell him?"
She asked turning to Sora smiling sweetly at him. She watched Sora look at the floor a small smile on his lips and switched her gaze tot Riku who was also smiling. She started jumping excitedly.
"I knew it! I knew it! oh my God I'm so happy for you guys"
She said unable to control her happiness for her friends she jumped in Riku's bed hugging the boy tightly. Lucky for Riku he had gotten his little problem under control.
"Um ow arm."
Selphie looked down sheepishly at him and got off the bed.
"Sorry"
Tidus and Kairi looked on amused at the on goings happening before them. So they had finally admitted their feelings for each other that was a relief.
"So are you guys like boyfriends then?"
Asked Tidus watching amused as both his friends turned a bit red. It wasn't because they were uncomfortable with each other or telling their friends about their feelings for each other. The reason behind all the embarrassment was due to the fact that they were new to all the feelings they were feeling for one another.
"Um I.."
"Stop embarrassing them. You guys are horrible"
Said Kairi deciding to rescue her friends from the curren attack of questions. Tidus and Selphie turned their gaze upwards feigning innocence. Kairi rolled her eyes.
Sora sighed wishing it was just him and Riku again then he could ask Riku the same question Selphie had just asked. Riku was having much the same thoughts, except his revolved around doing certain things to his new boyfriend? The thought making his lips curl up into a smile.
Tidus was looking around the room and couldn't believe all the flowers in the room, if he wasn't sure he had walked into the hospital he could have sworn he was in a flower shop.
"Wow, I don't think I've ever seen so many flowers in such a small space"
Said Selphie voicing out Tidus's thoughts. She was moving around the room smelling all the different types of flowers. She spotted the magnolias placed on the far back behind some other flowers and giggled remembering the time Riku had swelled up like a balloon for just smelling them. She was in the process of turning around to remind him when the door was opened and she saw the most gorgeous man in the world. He was tall maybe six feet tall he had the darkest hair she had ever seen which stood out even more against his pale skin and those wonderful green eyes which seemed to be smiling at them, and full luscious lips she wanted to latch on to and never let go.
"Hey Dr. Gabriel"
She heard Riku say. That man was Riku's doctor. Lucky bastard she thought jealously.
"Well I see you have visitors today."
He said moving forward to check on Riku. Sora stepped aside letting Gabriel stand next to Riku's bed but not before Riku handed him the tray of food which only contained an uneaten muffin. Sora looked at him a little worried but a small nod from Riku had him reassured and he took the tray setting it down on the side table.
"Good morning Dr. Gabriel"
Kairi said. He smiled at her. Kairi smiled trying to fight back a blush. Selphie now glared at her friend, since when did she know the beautiful man next to Riku.
"Good morning Kairi nice to see you again. And Who are you're other friends Riku?"
Selphie quickly moved forward and held her hand out across form Riku's bed.
"Hi I'm Selphie"
She said, he shook her hand.
"Hello Selphie pleasure to meet you"
Riku rolled his eyes. Dr. Gabriel turned to the boy next to Selphie.
"Tidus"
He said shaking the doctors hand. Having made their acquaintance Gabriel turned back to Riku.
"So Leena told me you were brought something to eat."
He said and turned to Sora. Sora smiled and shrugged.
"I thought he might be hungry. So I went to make him something"
Sora answered. Gabriel crossed his arms.
"What I would love to know is how you even got into the kitchen in the first place"
Tidus looked at Sora.
"You mean, you mean they let you cook?"
Sora nodded at Tidus and turned back to answer Gabriel question.
"Kairi's mom let me in"
Kairi frowned, that didn't sound like her mom.
"My mother? My Mother let you into the hospital's kitchen?"
She asked skeptically. Sora only nodded.
"It was for a good cause"
He said looking down at Riku smiling gently. It was then Gabriel realized Sora was the one Riku had told him about, Sora was the one Riku was in love with and from the looks of it Sora felt the same. He smiled to himself thinking Riku was going to be just fine, not only physically but emotionally as well.
"Indeed it was. Well since you seem to be just fine, I think we can let you go a bit early."
"Oh thank God. No offense but I hate hospitals."
Gabriel smiled, not really understanding peoples fear of hospitals. To him it was a place for healing, not a place of torture. Than again who would want to be kept in a small room when they could be outside living their life, but at least he found comfort in knowing he aided in the process of restoring people's lives.
"I just want to talk with your parents first I still want to monitor you Riku"
"My parents are here already?"
Gabriel nodded.
"Yes, but they wanted to give you some time with your friends"
Riku nodded and Gabriel began to head for the door. He stopped with the door halfway closed and turned back to Riku.
"And don't forget I want you to take it easy for next couple of days. I don't' want you over doing it okay? But I'm sure I can trust Sora to take care of you right?"
He finished with a small smile and a wink at Sora, he didn't wait for Sora to respond and exited the room closing the door behind him. Sora only blinked unable to say anything, he just stared after the closed door. A wistful sigh, correction two wistful sighs coming from the other side of the room caught his attention. He turned seeing Selphie and Kairi practically drooling after Dr. Gabriel.
"He is hot!"
Kairi said. Two more wistful sighs were heard before a perfectly synchronized.
"Yeah"
Was uttered by Tidus and Selphie. Sora chuckled and blinked doing a double take on Tidus. He arched a questioning brow. Had Tidus just agreed to that? Tidus blushed lowering his gaze noticing they were all with the exception of Kairi looking at him as if waiting for an explanation. He took a deep breath and looked up at them.
"Well he is"
He said smirking he wasn't going to lie, he had already decided he was not going to hide who he was. Kairi bit her lip, this was Tidus's way of telling them his sexual preference and no one was saying anything.
Selphie turned to Tidus shock clearly written on her face. She closed her gaping mouth and narrowed her eyes at Tidus. She put her hands on her hips.
"No way Tidsu I saw him first"
Tidus chuckled relieved, for a second there he had thought Selphie was going to be mad.
"That's okay I think I'm too young for him any way"
Selphie sighed nodding her head.
"Yeah me too. But since when do you like guys?"
Tidus shrugged.
"Always I guess. Just didn't actually realized it until awhile back."
"And you didn't tell us?"
He shrugged again, picking some petals off of a Daisy bouquet near him.
"I was trying to get used to the idea before I told anyone. I wasn't sure how you guys would react. Are you guys okay with me?"
He asked not really needed their approval is was more that he wanted their support. And needed their friendship to remain the same. Selphie smiled and hugged him.
"Of course we are . I mean we've seen you pick your nose, snore in your sleep, drool while you eat, trip on flat ground, sing horribly off key and if we can stand that this is no big deal we still love you. Right Kairi?"
Tidus smiled at what Selphie had said then frowned.
"I snore?"
Kairi nodded agreeing with Selphie.
"See Tye I told you nothing to worry about"
Selphie pulled away from Tidus hands on hips
"What do you mean 'I told you'"
Kairi smiled, but looked to Tidus to see if it was okay for her to tell them she already knew Tidus was gay. A nod from Tidus reassured her.
"He told me before he told anyone else"
Selphie stared back from Tidus and Kairi narrowing her eyes. Riku chuckled speaking for the first time since Tidus's revelation.
"And you managed to keep it a secret for that long? Wow!"
Kairi glared at Riku but smiled.
"I know it was killing me"
Selphie crossed her arms sulking. She was obviously hurt Tidus had chosen to tell Kairi and not her. Tidus seemed to sense her feelings and hugged her.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
Selphie asked.
"Her house was closer"
That earned him a glare from Kair and stifled laughter from Sora and Riku. Selphie rolled her eyes. Tidus looked over to Riku and Sora who were just smiling amused at the conversation between the three. He knew there would be no objections to him from them. Tidus released Selphie who was still pouting a bit.
"So did we win?"
Riku asked not being able to contain his curiosity any longer. That had been the first thing the had wanted to ask Tidus since he had entered his room, but thought it might be impolite since they were obviously more worried about him.
Tidus's eyes lit up began talking about the event that happened after he had been taken to the hospital. Sora tuned the conversation out. Concentrating on what he had just found out. Tidus was gay. It was no big deal, he was gay too except one thing kept playing over and over in his mind. A conversation he had, had with Squall a while back. He couldn't seem to stop thinking of the echoing words in his head.
~He's not gay Leonhart~
~Really? I would have thought other wise with the way he looked at you~
Sora swallowed hard at the time he had dismissed such a possibility. Though now, now he wasn't so sure. Did Tidus have feeling for him?
"And they didn't want any more injuries so they just decided to reschedule the game"
Riku sighed the game had been canceled it was understandable who would have wanted to play in those condition after seeing him pass out. He looked over at Sora who seemed to have grown rather quiet. He was about to ask him if he was alright when the door opened again and his parents walked in.
"Good morning guys and girls"
Mrs. Meneke greeted them cheerfully and she had a good reason to be cheerful, the doctor had just informed them the only thing wrong with Riku was his broken arm and nothing else.
"Dr. Gabe says we can check you out as soon as you're ready."
Riku bolted up practically leaping out of his bed.
"Finally"
Mr. Meneke smiled at his son.
"You might want to get dressed first"
Riku nodded looking down at the hospital gown he was wearing and glared at it.
"I brought you some clothes yesterday it's in that closet"
She pointed to a narrow door behind Kairi.
"Well come on guys I don't think Riku wants us in here while he's changing"
Selphie said pushing Kairi, Tidus and Sora ahead of her following Rikus parents out of Rikus room. Once they were all out she grabbed the door knob but before shutting the door closed she turned back ot Riku.
"Though I'm sure he wouldn't mind Sora being in there"
She said and winked at Riku who threw a pillow at her hitting the already closed door. Sora turned to Selphie missing what she had said but hearing a soft thud on the door. Selphied shrugged and moved away. Sora dismissed the noise and followed everyone back into the waiting room
"I'm thirsty I think I'll go get something to drink. Anybody want anything?"
Tidsu asked. Sora who had just sat down stood up.
"Yeah I'm thirsty I'll go with you"
Tidus nodded and they began walking side by side down the corridor towards the cafeteria. Sora bit his lip looking at Tidus from the corner of his eye. He had to ask him he had to know, he didn't want to hurt Tidus but if they were to remain friends he had to know what Tidus truly felt for him.
"Tidus?"
"We need to talk"
Squalll who was still sitting on the floor frowned. That didn't sound good. No conversation that started with those words ever ended good. He hoped he was wrong, but the awful feeling in his stomach told him other wise.
"What about?"
Cloud sighed.
"Us"
Squall stood up slowly unfurling his limbs standing up straight but made no move towards Cloud. He just stood there among his scattered papers, staring a bit confused at Cloud.
"What about us?"
Squall asked he was not liking the feel of this conversation at all, but somehow in a very deep, dark, cold, lonely and hardly ever explored part of his heart he knew it was coming.
Cloud turned his head not meeting Squalls eyes. He didn't want to say what he was about to say, but it had to be said, even though it was hurting him already and he knew it would hurt Squall as well. Hurting Squall was the last thing he wanted to do, but if he didn't say anything things would just be more painful later on. Cloud had to be strong he had been setting aside this feeling for far too long already. He turned aback to Squall staring right into the blue storm of Squall's eyes.
Squall's chest tighten at the look Cloud was giving him. He dint' want to be there at the moment and had to fight the urge to just turn his back on Cloud and walk out. Walk out and leave behind what he sensed was coming.
"Squall. You and I, we have been growing apart"
Squall frowned.
"What are you talking about Cloud? We're as close as we've ever been"
That was true, they were as close as they had ever been, but not in the sense that Cloud meant. Their friendship was as strong as ever but they were still growing apart Cloud knew Squall felt it. The question was, why was he the only one who saw it?
"I know we're close friendship wise but I'm not talking about our friendship Squall. Don't you feel it? Don't you feel us drifting apart?"
Squall shook his head not as an answer to Cloud, but to try and shake himself awake. He had to be dreaming there was no way he was having this conversation with the person who was suppose to be his one and only.
"Squall? Squall look at me"
When Squall didn't turn to him Cloud walked to him taking his face gently in his hands. He tilted his head up to look at Squall face to face. He immediately regretted it, Squall's eyes were full of pain and confusion.
"What the hell are you saying Cloud?"
Squall asked in a cold steady voice which was the complete opposite of what Cloud saw in his eyes.
"Squall I love you and I always will, but this love. Our love is no longer the love between two lover but the one between two friends."
Cloud stated truthfully, that was what he felt and what he knew Squall felt too. He was just surprised Squall hadn't noticed the change in their relationship, he was always so in tune with his emotions. That had been one of the reasons he had waited so long to tell Squall how he felt he thought the other would have been the one to initiate this conversation. He hadn't.
Squall pulled his face from the warmth of Cloud's hands. Cloud flinched. Squall's mind was in complete mayhem. Not the love of lovers? How could cloud say such things? After everything they had shared together.
"No you're... you're wrong"
Squall whispered weakly and sounded unsure even to himself. In that unexplored place in his heart he knew Cloud was right, but at the moment stronger emotions were drowning out the possibility of considering truth in Cloud's words. Feelings like hurt and confusion and anger. Cloud was breaking up with him and it hurt. Though what hurt more was how he was doing it, if he didn't want to be with him anymore he should just have said so and not made some lame excuse like he stilled loved him, but as a friend. That was bull shit. How long had Cloud felt like this? How long had he pretended to like him? How long her their relationship been one sided? Those thoughts had Squall's blood boiling with anger.
"Squall I know you feel it too. Don't you see that? You may still love me but you no longer have the passion you used to have. We no longer have that passion we used to have. It hurts I know, but I know you feel it too.
Squall narrowed his eyes and without warning he grabbed a fistful of Cloud's shirt backing him into the mirror wall. Cloud winced as the bar connected painfully with his lower back. Squall was pinning him against the wall the tip of his shoes barely reaching the floor. Cloud looked down at the man who was holding him up his face marred with anger and pain.
"If you no longer want to be with me just say so and don't give me this crap about still loving me"
Cloud only stared in shock he knew Squall was strong he had never underestimated his strength but to actually feel that strength lashed out on him had him surprised. He tried speaking but no sound came from his lips. Squall pull him a bit forward only to slam him back against the wall.
"And DON'T you ever, ever tell me what I feel!"
He let Cloud's feet touch the floor again easing the pain in his back but not releasing his hold on his shirt.
"There's only one person in the entire world who knows how I feel and it's not you. It's me, got it?"
Cloud nodded and closed his eyes. He could have fought Squall and he knew he could have gotten himself free from Squall grasp but he wouldn't. With his eyes closed he blocked out the pain he saw in Squall's eyes he knew Squall seemed angry but that was only to distract himself from the pain he felt. Pain which had caused. Pain which mirrored his own, he knew this would happen he had lost his best friend. Cloud opened his eyes when he felt Squall release his hold on his shirt.
Squall was looking at him with a mix of anger, confusion and pain. He was breathing rather hard and had his fist clenched tightly at his sides.
"I love you, but if you don't want to be with me I won't force you Not that I could"
"Squall..."
"Just leave"
Squall whispered lowering his gaze refusing to meet Cloud's. Cloud knew it was pointless to talk to Squall at the moment. Squall was hurting and so was he, despite what he knowing he and Squall no longer had romantic feelings for each other and accepting it, he couldn't help the feeling of lose that came over him.
"One day Squall you'll see what I mean.. Don't take too long to realize what I already have. Perhaps than you can forgive me and I can have your friendship once again"
Squall shook his head whispering..
"Don't ask that of me. I've already given you everything I have. You've left me empty. I cannot and will not give more. To you."
Cloud nodded feeling his heart break with each word Squall whispered.
"So is this how you want to part than?"
Squall looked at Cloud and glared.
"No. This is how you have chosen to part. I hope you never feel how I feel right now. Good bye Cloud"
Cloud nodded thinking it was too late for that, he already felt what Squall felt. With every ounce of strength he posses he stepped away from Squall. This wasn't how things were suppose to be Squall was suppose to see what he said was true and they would be okay. Cloud took the knob of the glass French doors and paused, it was all his fault if he hadn't told Squall he had wanted to be more than friends he wouldn't be standing there at the moment fighting with himself to not run back to Squall.
He took a deep breath and with out another look back stepped out of the studio feeling like that step meant he had just stepped out of Squall's life for ever.
Inside the studio Squall was also trying very hard not to run to Cloud and hold on to him until he saw reason. He stood firmly in place not knowing how long he could keep himself calm. As if on cue he heard the soft click of the doors closing and he crumbled falling slowly to his hands and knees like a fallen leaf alone in the ground. And like a leaf he shivered.
He's gone. Gone. He thought rocking forward resting his forehead on the cold glass of the mirror. He felt numb. He raised his eyes staring right into his reflection, he saw something clear trailing down his face and reached to touch his cheek with his right hand.
It was a tear. He wiped the tear with the balls of his fingertips, bringing his hand in front of his face looking at the clear liquid on his finger tips. He ran his thumb over the tips of his fingers as if her were exploring a strange object.
Tears? The last time he had cried was when Ellone had died. Tears, he had been reduced to tears by the one he loved and was suppose to love him back. He had cried for Ellone because she had left him alone and now so had Cloud.
He clenched his tear smeared hand and looked at his reflection in the mirror again. A flash of disgust flickered through his eyes before he drew his fist back and shot it forward breaking the mirror before him. Perfect. He thought with a humorless smirk. Now his reflection looked like he felt shattered. He sighed closing his eyes, he felt warm liquid running down his knuckles over his fingers and probably onto the floor. His fist hurt, but that was okay pain was better than the numbness Cloud had left him with.
Cardel: (smirks) err that was angsty.
Jin: Yes, yes it was
Demak: (sigh) Sometimes I really wonder if all you two ever think about is torturing people.
Cardel: It's okay to torture the characters 'cause it make the sweet moments sweeter.
Deamak: Yeah you keep telling your self that.
Cardel : I will how do think I sleep at night o.0. Any way no more Squall and Cloud. Did you know my original idea was to make it a Squall/Cloud/ Tidus but then I though way too complicated so then I decided for Cloud/Squall but I had already written major hints at a Tidus/Squall thing so I don't know about the end result with those three the plot is always changing but for the better I assure you.
Jin: *cough*lier*cough*
Demak: Now you're sick too.
Cardel: No he's just being Jin. Well I even though this was sad and I kind of left you hanging with Tidus and Sora actually I'm just going to shut up and get started with the next chapters. Again thanks for all the review especially April chan and Mushashi455 thanks you guys really helped in my decision to bring Sephiroth in.
Jin: Whether it's a good thing of bad still remains to be seen.
Demak: Oh be quiet you're always so moody
Jin: Am not.
Demak: Are too.
Jin: Am not
Cardel (sigh )Muses. Wait before I leve you quick question what's kanhi? And is anyone else having the same problems as Rock and Yaoi reading the story? Let me know okay and don't forget to review. Laters
