Yo... Thank you to all readers so far.
The next week passed in a flurry of discussions, the reliving of some painful memories, healing, rumours, speculation, and even a little fear. There weren't many who cared that Fudge and Umbridge were dead. No, the concern most felt came from the fact that Lucius Malfoy was the new Minister of Magic.
If Draco had been an arrogant git-oh, sorry, arrogant dick before, well that was absolutely nothing compared to how he was behaving now. Even Snape was starting to get pissed off.
Voldemort, on the other hand, was in a pretty good mood. His Halloween plans had gone off without a hitch. He had, ultimately, taken over the Ministry, bringing him one step closer to his final goal.
He found it rather sad that taking over the government was easier than taking over a school. Perhaps he shouldn't have been surprised though.
"And speaking of surprises," he muttered, watching a familiar snowy white owl fly into the room. She circled around his head, before landing gracefully and holding out one of her legs.
"Welcome back, owl," the Dark Lord greeted amiably, taking the letter and conjuring a large mouse for the bird, just as Nagini slithered inside, joining them.
Ignoring both animals, he focused his attention of the letter he had taken, curious to see what Potter was thinking now.
Voldemort,
On behalf of everyone actually sane, thank you for killing Fudge and Umbridge. Please tell me it was painful for them. They deserved to suffer.
Also, Lucius Malfoy? Seriously? Are you sure making him the Minister's a good idea? I mean, the guy owes Wormtail a Life Debt! When you owe Wormtail of all people a debt, you know you've fucked up.
Speaking of murder and Malfoys...any chance you could arrange for Draco Malfoy to end up in a very untimely and unfortunate accide-
Ignore that, Mr Voldemort, sir. Harry's just feeling a bit bitter today.
Pay no attention to the respect in the previous sentence. Hermione just can't help herself around authority figures or people with power. It's a bad habit I've so far been unable to squash out of her. ...What was I talking about again? Whelp. I've lost my train of thought.
Dumbledore's still ignoring everyone, by the way. I have it on good authority that he's been leaving Hogwarts a lot recently, but unfortunately, I have no idea where he's been going. If you have any actually competent Death Eaters, maybe you can have one of them tail him. My own spy seems to be having some difficulty, oddly enough. ...Or maybe my spy can't find out because he actually is competent, and Dumbledore doesn't guard against the opposite. In that case, you could send literally almost anyone after him, and you'll probably find out.
By the way, have you learned anything new yet?
Harry Potter
PS. As revenge on Hermione for not letting me put out an assassination contract on a certain blond git, I'm going to reveal one of her secrets to you. Don't ask me how I learned this, buuut, she's a closet yaoi fangirl and ships males she knows with other men, sometimes fictional. ...I wonder who she ships you with? I know it's someone, I just can't figure out who.
"...What?"
Traumatized, Voldemort didn't notice Nagini and Hedwig in the midst of a very dramatic standoff, a single conjured mouse between them. It was high noon, and there could only be one winner.
"Sss..."
"Hoot..."
"...A teenage girl fantasizes about me sleeping with other men!?"
Well, that was one way to cut through the tension.
Looking forward to reviews. Laterz.
