Justin ended up with the day off, and decided to surprise Meredith at the hospital. He'd called Izzy and asked her to help make sure that Meredith could get out for lunch around 11:30. He made an elaborate picnic lunch, picked up a huge bouquet of flowers, even found a red-and-white checkered tablecloth. Around 11, he headed to the hospital.
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"Where are you off to?" Derek asked, joining her as she walked.
"Oh. I'm going to the cafeteria while I can." She replied as she quickly darted down the hallway.
"Great! I'll come with you." He leaned toward her, "Are you feeling better this morning?"
"Yeah, it's just hard to make sense of it all sometimes, you know?" She shrugged, and flashed a weak smile.
"Yeah, I know. Children's lives cut short by trauma and tragedy, brilliant world-famous surgeons being struck with early onset Alzheimer's—there's a lot in life that doesn't make any sense."
"I'm glad that you're involved in Medicine. It's hard for non-medical people to understand how we feel."
He leaned close, whispering in her ear with a grin, "I'm glad that you're glad."
She shyly smiled, blushing and glancing away. As they approached the cafeteria, she spotted a familiar face.
"Justin!"
She approached the table where he stood, noticing that he'd prepared it with a cute setting for two. Tablecloth, flowers, place settings and everything.
He greeted her with a big hug, and a kiss.
"Hi. You must be Derek. It's nice to meet you." Justin extended his hand, smiling as he greeted Derek.
"You must be Justin. I've heard so much about you." Derek, too, put forth his most handsome smile.
"I've heard a lot about you, too. Why don't you join us?" My Justin. So polite.
"Oh, I couldn't—"
"No, please! Have lunch with us. You're one of the men in Meredith's life. It'd be nice to chat."
Well, this ought to be interesting.
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Justin and Derek had spent the entire lunch comparing stories about Meredith.
At one point, Derek silently noted the affection for Meredith in Justin's eyes, "Wow. He is very much in love with her." Justin had noticed the same sentiment in the way that Derek looked at and spoke of her.
"Wow, Meredith didn't mention that you were practically a chef. Thanks, Justin. That lunch was amazing! Well, I've got a few patient s to check on, so I'd better leave you two alone. Thanks again for the lunch. See you later Meredith." Derek pushed in his chair and hurried off.
"Mere, you look exhausted." Justin told her, concern evident in his eyes.
"Last night was awful. We had this trauma come in…"
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She quietly told Justin all about the previous night—how stressful the situation was, how badly the patients were injured, how much she was struck by the unfairness of it all, and the sense of defeat that she'd felt at the end of the night.
He nodded, and put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer in an attempt to provide comfort.
"I'm sorry, Mere," he offered. "It sounds like it was a horrific night." He wasn't really sure what to say. He didn't understand a good deal of what she was talking about, and had no idea what it would be like to be in such a stressful situation. Engineering had its bad moments, but nothing like dying pre-schoolers and firsthand knowledge of being unable to fix dying innocent trauma victims.
She knew he was trying to understand, but there was really no way that he could grasp the intensity of what she was feeling. And that was when it hit her. I'll always have medicine with Derek. He understands what I do, and the demands of medicine. He knows how frustrating it can be, "helping" people. He knows that sometimes by "helping them", we're not actually helping them. He just knows…
"Justin, can we do something tonight?" Meredith asked quietly, pulling free from his embrace.
"Sure, do you want to get some dinner together?" he suggested.
"Actually, how about tomorrow night instead?" She'd be too tired tonight. Plus, it'd give her a day to think.
"Sure, tomorrow night it is."
They discussed when and where. Meredith suggested a new restaurant that she'd been wanting to try, thinking "At least I won't ruin the memories that we associate with our usual restaurants this way."
"Okay, well I'd better get back to work. Thanks for the lunch, it was really special. Love you." She kissed him on the cheek and gave him a quick hug.
"Bye Mere," he waved as she hurried away.
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"How was lunch with Justin?" Izzy asked, cheekily.
"You knew that he was bringing me lunch?" Meredith laughed, "You could've at least included in the plotting and scheming that McDreamy wouldn't be walking to the cafeteria with me."
"No way!" Izzy exclaimed, incredulous.
"I'm so not kidding." She laughed again. "It ended up being okay, though. They used the entire lunch to dote on me and compare stories. It was kind of cute, in a freaky glad-they're-not-into-dueling kind of way."
"Yeah, Derek seems pretty into you lately," Izzy noted, "It seems like he must've finally given up on pretending that you two were just friends."
"Izzy!"
"Oh come on, Meredith. You and I both know that the concept of you and McDreamy being 'just friends' is a total joke!"
"Well. We tried," Meredith admitted, smiling, "And it was a noble effort."
"Oh, so you're admitting that it was a failure? What does that mean? For Justin, I mean?"
"Well, Iz, I've given it some thought. And, I'm just going to have to find a way to tell him—"
"Dr. Grey, we need you in here!" One of the nurses was waving her into a patient's room, and things seemed urgent.
"Gotta run, Izzy. Thanks for helping me to see Justin at lunch…"
"Tell who, Meredith? Ugh—I was so close to the juicy details," she muttered to herself, walking back to check on one of her patients.
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"He seems sweet." Derek joined her as she stood at the nurses' station writing orders.
"He's great," she answered. "I'm afraid I don't deserve him."
"You deserve the best that life has to offer, Meredith," he whispered in her ear, "The question is whether you feel with him what you feel with me."
She stopped writing and turned to him, thoughtful. "Can you meet me at Joe's tonight?"
"Are you sure? Aren't you exhausted?" he asked, concerned.
"Well, yeah, but I really need a chance to talk to you." She looked away, hoping that he wouldn't ask now what she was so desperate to talk to him about.
"How about this? I'll stop at the store after work and pick up some groceries. I'll come over to your place and cook you dinner. Does that sound okay?" He grinned sweetly.
"I guess. What is it with men and cooking today?" She chuckled, "Is it a competitive thing now, Derek?"
"Of course! I can't have the woman I love thinking that the other guy is the only one who knows how to wine and dine her, can I?" He shot her a lopsided grin, then started back toward the OR.
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"So, what had you wanted to talk to me about, Mere?" He had made her an amazing dinner, and was now doing the dishes. He'd insisted that she sit down and put her feet up on one of the chairs while he cleaned up after dinner.
"Come sit on the couch with me. Let's talk about it there." She got up and went into the living room, and Derek joined her. Meredith plopped down on the sofa, bringing her legs up indian-style and facing him.
"What is it, Mere?" He tipped his head, expectantly and looked deeply into her eyes.
"Why did you propose to me?" Her eyes narrowed as she observed his response.
"What do you mean? I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you," he said, eyes sparkling.
"Why do you want to be with me?"
"Meredith, where are you going with this?" He frowned, a worried look taking over his features.
"Derek, I'm faced with this choice. I love you, and know that I always will. It's the kind of love that doesn't always make sense, and I certainly have wanted to get rid of it during the past year or so—several times. But it's irrational—not really explainable, and it's just the way I feel about you. I'll always be drawn to you. You broke my heart, badly. And I don't completely trust you again, but I do know that we'll always have chemistry and I'll always love you." She continued, "Justin appeals to my practical side. He's kind, he's sweet, he's incredibly good-natured, and he's mature. He approaches things maturely in a way that you and I will never reach. He's stable. And, he's secure."
She took a deep breath, "I made my appeal when you were faced with a choice between Addison and I. I stated my case. I came to you and basically begged you to love me." Her eyes spilled over with tears, "And even though you may have continued loving me all of this time, you picked her. Not me. And I've forgiven you for that. And my pride has recovered. But now, as I'm faced with a choice, I'm giving you your chance to plead your case. Are you willing to fight…for me? Reinforce for me—prove to me again—why I want to be with you." She wiped her eyes, trying to hold back the emotions that welled inside of her.
"Fight for me, Derek," she demanded.
