A/N: Hello, children! After a few minutes of intermission, we're back for more! And this time, with a lovely Tsunade/Zabuza fic. WTF, you may ask? Yeah…we're trying to figure it out too.
Enjoy!
Salmon On A Sunday Night
One lovely Sunday night, Tsunade and Zabuza appeared in front of a plate of salmon.
"What the fuck?" exclaimed Zabuza.
(Sally McPhee: My mom had salmon once. She died. A painful death, she did.
Your Pimp: This is screwed up…I love it.
Insane but Happy: But I saw your mother…not long ago…
Sally McPhee: So you're dead too? Does this mean I'm in heaven?
Insane but Happy: …Go pass out on the couch again.)
Tsunade cast a weary look down at the steaming plate of salmon.
"I don't like salmon." she said simply.
Zabuza looked down at it.
"It winked at me."
Tsunade cocked an eyebrow.
"No it didn't."
"Yes, it did," Zabuza said insistently, "It winked at me, just now."
Tsunade smiled.
"Oh, Zabuza, you know how to pushy my buttons."
"Uh…huh…." Zabuza said nervously, "Alright then…So why are we here anyway?"
Tsunade shrugged.
"The stupid writers put us together."
"Ah. I feel the sudden urge to kill something. How about I kill you?"
Tsunade turned towards Zabuza, looking him in the eye, her brown eyes glinting mischievously.
"There you go again, Zabuzy-kun!" she said, winking dramatically.
Zabuza gave her a blank look.
"That made no sense."
"No, it didn't."
"Hey, there's something I've been meaning to ask you."
"What is it, oh sweet Zabuzy-kun?"
"Don't call me that. Anyway, does this skirt make my butt look big?"
"Why are you wearing a skirt?"
"I'm not wearing a skirt. Why are you wearing a skirt?"
"I'm not wearing a skirt either."
"Ah."
"Yes."
"…"
"…"
"So what are we going to do about the salmon?" Zabuza asked, turning towards the plate of salmon.
Tsunade thought for a moment.
"Let's feed it to some ducks." She said finally.
"Do ducks eat salmon?"
"They do now."
Tsunade smiled, dazed.
"Kiss me you fool!"
Zabuza took on a disgusted expression.
"I like men!"
Tsunade paused, her eyes tearing up.
"I can change!"
Zabuza cocked an eyebrow.
"You can become a man?"
"I can become a duck, if that's what you really want!"
"…I didn't say that…"
"But you were thinking it! Don't try to deny it, we both know you were! We have a connection!"
Zabuza let out an exasperated sigh.
"We've never even met!"
There was an awkward silence.
"We just had a moment there, didn't we?" Tsunade said, stepping towards Zabuza seductively.
"What the hell are you talking about! Get away from me, woman!"
"But I'm not a woman. I'm a duck." Tsunade insisted.
Zabuza rolled his eyes.
"Does that mean you want me to feed you the salmon?"
"If that's how you want it, then go for it, Zabuzy-kun!"
THAT'S ENOUGH OF THAT NONSENSE!
End.
