2,000 year old Chelsea lingered on top of her mother's desk, studying the multicolored potion bottles that lingered around the brown oak desk. Each bottle had a label on it that Chelsea couldn't quite decipher, and she reached towards the bottles, peeling off the "stickies" that rested on the glass. She was particularly interested in the two bottles; one clear and one a darker, blue color, both with the respective labels, "Hangover Cure" and "Shrinking Potion". As Chelsea climbed up on the seat, her fingers finally touched the two bottles, allowing her to pick off the labels and play with the bottles, giggling as she pretended they were her dolls.
"Linnie! Bring me my medicine! My headache's getting worse!" her mother, Nora screamed suddenly, making Chelsea jump but barely forcing any attention otherwise.
"Y-Y-Yes of course, dear. What do you need? We've...um...well...we still have some tylenol, and ah..we still have half a bottle of Pepto left. I-I think if you want some advil or ginger ale, I'd have to go to the sto-"
"I didn't say nothing about no damn advil! I said bring me my medicine! You know, this shit I've been brewing up for days like this..ugh..", Nora snapped, pinching her temples as she glared at her cowering husband. "God, you men are such good for nothing pieces of shit. When will you learn to follow fucking directions."
"I-I well..honey I-I'm sorry. I-uh..I was just trying to help. Please don't get upset."
"I'll be as goddamn sick as I want in my own fucking house! Now go! It's that clear bottle on my desk in our room, since I seriously doubt you're two-celled brain would be able to understand my work. Now hurry up, goddamnit, before I throw the fucking coffee table at you!"
Linnie squeaked as he barely managed to avoid the beer bottle that Nora had tossed at him, causing glass to shatter and the beer to stain the periwinkle wall. He sighed as his wife glared at him, forcing him to turn around and do as she asked. But just as he floated over to the desk, his heart dropped as he saw Chelsea playing with the potion bottles.
"H-Honey! Honey..", he panicked, picking her up and gently taking the vials out of her hands, placing them on the desk, "Sweetie, we don't touch things that don't belong to us, right?"
She looked at him with confusion, but then frowned knowing that her new favorite toys were being taken away. She pouted as tears welled up in her aqua eyes. Linnie smiled sadly as he hugged her gently, and carried her into her bedroom.
"Aww..sweetheart, I'm sorry but those aren't yours. They're not toys, Chelsea honey, I promise. You could've gotten hurt with them. Oh, please don't cry. Shhh…", he whispered as he held her close, his soft hearted nature keeping him from being firm. Despite knowing that the potion bottle were nothing for a toddler to handle, he still felt guilty pings stab his heart. He looked around as Chelsea kept crying, finally landing his eyes on a teddy bear and the stack of blocks he had given her when she was around 1,500 years.
"H-Hey! Honey, why don't you play with these instead? These look so much more fun than those..um vials, don't you think? And I think Teddy here is starting to look lonely.", Linnie cooed, smiling and kneeling down as he placed Chelsea gently near the toys, handing her stuffed bear over. He watched as her little fingers stroked the soft, brown fur and his crying halt, replaced with small, high pitched giggles. Linnie also brought the wooden blocks closer to where he and Chelsea were, and started stacking them up on top of each other, encouraging Chelsea to do the same. "There you go, sweetheart! Just like that! Aw, you're so clever!"
Chelsea laughed as she and her father continued to play together, her mind almost completely off the potions vials altogether. But just as Chelsea was finishing building the tallest tower ever, loud footsteps pounded on the steps as her mother's low-pitched, angered grumbles got louder and louder, indicating she wasn't too far behind. Linnie started to get nervous as he got close to Chelsea, picking her back up in her arms before Nora slammed the door, eyes darted right at Linnie.
"YOU!", she screamed, pointing at Linnie, "Didn't I just fucking tell you to bring me my damn medicine? What the hell are you doing up here!"
"N-Nora, please don't swear around her..a-and she um..she was crying and I.."
"Oh my god, Linnie! What don't you fucking understand! Since I pay the bills around here, my needs come before anyone else's. It's been the fucking rule ever since you and I had sex that one night! Take care of me first, and then you can deal with everyone else's problem! What the hell was she crying about anyway?"
"Nora please..I-I was just trying to get her away from your potions. She..um..thought they were a toy since they're so colorful and I well.."
"Hold on! So YOU!", Nora screamed as she pointed at Chelsea, who dug her head into her father's sweater vest, "Look at your mother when she's talking to you, you little shit!"
Shaking, Chelsea removed her head and looked at her mother, whose hands were on her hips and a snarl was on her face. Nora walked up close to Linnie, and glared at Chelsea as if she wasn't even her child.
"Ooohhh, you are so lucky murder is illegal, you little shit! I should fucking kill you for what you did today!"
"Nora!", Linnie squealed, backing away from Nora as he held Chelsea tighter in his arms, "Don't threaten her! She was just curious! A-And she didn't break anything! I was able to get the potions down before anything could happen! I-..Nora, I...why would you say something like that to a child?"
"Because I fucking can, that's why Linnie! I don't have to have a fucking reason! Now, if you don't put her down and get me my fucking medicine, then you don't wanna know what kind of special hell I have in store for you. Now GO GODDAMN IT!", Nora screamed, making Chelsea cry loudly and Linnie put her down in the bed. After she left, Linnie knelt down to Chelsea, handing her the teddy bear.
"Shh..shh shh, it's ok sweetheart. There there..oh..here you go, honey. Why don't you let Teddy give you a big hug while I'm getting mommy her medicine? I won't be long, sweetie. It'll be alright.", Linnie said, sadly as he got up and left the room, headed downstairs towards his wife's potion bottles. Absentmindedly (and just hoping his wife would calm down soon), he grabbed the vial with the blue liquid, not even paying attention to the table, and flew quickly into the living room, presenting it to Nora. She didn't even take her eyes off the television.
"Uh...h-here you go, darling. I-I'm sorry for taking so long.", Linnie apologized as Nora snatched the bottle away from him, muttering 'about time' as she chugged the blue liquid down, throwing it back at Linnie to pick it up. After a few minutes, Linnie started to make his way back towards the stairs when he heard Nora's screaming again, but this time turning a lot higher pitched than last time.
"W-Wait..Linnie! LINNIE! LINNIE, you stupid bitch!", Nora squealed and squeaked, much like a mouse trapped in a mouse trap. Linnie turned around and noticed that Nora was nowhere to be seen on the couch. His eyebrows arched as he flew back towards the spot, the squealing getting louder and louder, "Down here dipshit!"
"Nora? H-Honey are you alright, Nora! My goodness! A-Are you alright?", Linnie squeaked as he picked up his now tiny wife. "I-I is this a side effect? My goodness, I-I'm so sorry!"
"Look what you fucking did to me, you fucking dumbass! I ask you to do one thing and you can't even do that right! Linnie, I swear you're so..ugh! You're just lucky I'm not normal sized right now. That stupid little head of yours would've been bashed on the TV by now. Now get my to my potions table, you fucking slut! I need my antidote!"
"I-I-I um..yes dear. Right away.", Linnie scurried off back to the oak table, and placed Nora gently on the ground. She walked around the desk, before noticing the clear vial that he had missed.
"You see this, Linnie! THIS is what I fucking asked for, not that piece of shit you gave me! That shit was supposed to be for putting stuff in my briefcase, you fucking idiot?"
"Briefcase? Like, you mean your work papers? Shouldn't those fit in there? Can't you just..um..get a bigger briefcase honey?"
"No, you fucking moron! How the hell else do you think we still have a proper income? No, this shit is for my whiskey bottles from the liquor store!"
"W-Wait, I thought you paid for those?"
"Do you have any idea how expensive those damn bottles are? Hell, I don't even know why I hadn't thought about this! It'd be easier if I had just started making them myself! Now, help me find the fucking antidone, you stupid, worthless, shitty excuse of a husband that I've even ha-"
All of the sudden, a wasp landed on the desk from outside one of the cracked windows, quieting Nora down. It buzzed around, looking for some food before it spotted Nora, who shook in fear as she begged Linnie to get rid of it.
"L-Linnie! Get rid of it! Kill it! Do something! W-Why are you just standing there? Do something! Do you want your own wife to die or something, you selfish bastard! You want the kids to lose their mother?"
"Mother? They have a mother?", Linnie asked softly as he watched the wasp gang in on Nora, her squealing and screaming as she was trapped in a corner. He smiled softly as he turned around and left the room, blood curdling squeals echoing across the room as he left, and went back upstairs into Chelsea's room, holding and rocking her until she had calmed down more. Finally, Linnie had kissed her on the forehead as he noticed it was 6 in the evening.
"Well, honey, looks like it's just you, me, and Darren tonight. You ready for some dinner, sweetheart?", Linnie asked sweetly, before calling out to Darren in the neighboring room, "Darren honey, it's almost dinner time. I-I didn't have time to prepare anything so why don't we all go get something to eat? Just make sure you take a shower really fast, please."
