A/N: This chapter is highkey the most drama in the whole story so far. I'm really looking forward to sharing it with y'all.


Chapter Twenty-Two: The Manson Family Was a Family


After her lovely stay in a mental institution for two long months, Azula stands in the airport in Arizona wearing a look that could kill. She cannot believe she needs to stay with her mother's family for a week. Ozai, Azulon, Iroh and Ilah all need to be at a vital conference, and no one feels comfortable leaving Azula alone. The mental hospital she spent the past month at insisted on that quite fervently.

"How are you holding up?" asks Rina as she pulls an unwilling Azula into her arms.

Azula clears her throat as she steps back. "Not too great, considering I just tried to commit suicide recently and my father sent me away to a nuthouse in Colorado."

Rina gives an awkward smile. She does not know what to say and Azula likes it that way.

"Was the place nice, at least?" inquires Rina.

"I suppose. It was exclusively for the wealthy," comments Azula as they start walking towards the baggage claim.

They scurry off to gather Azula's designer bags and leave the airport.

[X]

As soon as they arrive at the highly inadequate house, Azula waves her hand dismissively. "Well, I'm just going to go drown myself in the bathtub now. Goodnight."

"Please, Azula," begs Rina, "I know we don't know each other well, but I want to make an effort while you're here."

"I would prefer to go call my best friend and girlfriend now that I am free of my prison, but I will consider your desperate offer, grandmother." She strides up the stairs, tosses her purse on the guest bed, shuts the door and fishes out her cell phone, grateful to hold it in her hands after so long separated from the real world.

She lies down. Azula finds Mai's contact and dials her up, kicking her legs up in the bed.

"I escaped the institution. Alert the authorities."

"Azula?" groggily answers Mai, prompting a sigh from her best friend.

"No," Azula drawls, "it's Keanu Reeves."

"So, you're out and free." Mai makes a small, indecisive sound in the back of her throat. "Finally. When are you back in LA?"

"In a week when my father gets back from the conference. I am no longer allowed to be alone apparently." After that, Azula receives several displeasing seconds of silence. "What?"

Mai sounds incredibly unhappy to be the bearer of bad news as she at last speaks. "So, there's probably something you should know before you come home."

"Oh?" Azula examines her fake nails, trying desperately to reassure herself that she is free of worry.

"Ty Lee and Zuko got together."

Azula blinks and bites her lower lip. "What does that mean?"

Mai casually continues, "They're a thing now. A gross, clingy couple. They started banging two weeks ago and it's just been a downhill slide into testing my gag reflex since then."

Azula's heart leaps into her throat. The room spins around her as she starts to suffocate.

"Ty Lee and I are together."

"Apparently not anymore. Unless you're into that freaky sibling threesome shit. Ty Lee would probably be down for it but Zuko is boring and vanilla so I bet he'd fight the whole idea."

Azula does not know what to say. And so she hangs up. She takes a breath and another breath and another and tries to fathom what the fuck happened while she was gone folding paper cranes and rolling her eyes in group therapy.

She can only liken her emotions to those moments when a film starts to slow down and melt and the projector lights on fire. Her life flickers and fades and rattles. She takes a deep breath.

"You are Azula Shinohai," she whispers to herself. "And you are going to do what you always do. You are going to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and think with your head instead of your heart."

She quickly dials Mai again and waits two rings for her best friend to answer.

"How did this happen?"

"I don't know. I broke up with him one night after a fight and some disappointing fucking sex and next thing I know they're sucking face in your pool."

"What the fuck does she think she is doing?"

Mai sounds all too casual as she suggests, "I lov-like her very much but she's not loyal. She's never been very loyal."

"She's loyal to me." Azula laid her damned heart on a platter. She took a chance on Ty Lee like a fool. She fell in love for the first and only time in her cold empty life.

And the circus freak bitch spat in her face.

Mai sighs. "Let me just look out my window. Oh, there they are on your porch. He's playing her his guitar. Guess she's not as loyal as you thought she was."

Azula hangs up again, livid. And then dials Mai again. After two rings, Mai answers.

"And I guess you aren't as special to ZuZu as you thought you were!" Azula exclaims before Mai can say a word.

Mai sighs carelessly. "I guess not."

Azula does not wait long to start scheming about a brutal and crushing revenge. She will destroy Ty Lee emotionally if it is the last thing she does. "She is officially dead to us."

Mai does not wait long to agree, mainly because she would much rather not become one of the targets of Azula's ire. "Whatever. I'm down to hate her with you, if that's the deal."

Baring her teeth, Azula firmly states, "Good. Because it is the deal."

Azula hangs up for good this time.

She flops down on her stomach and screams into her pillow.

[X]

A few days later, in the sweltering summer heat, Azula stands outside of LAX waiting for her limousine. When it finally arrives, she steps inside and sees the nastiest of surprises. Zuko.

"I can ride home alone, you know."

Zuko stifles a groan but cannot hide his sour expression. "This wasn't my choice. Trust me."

She takes a seat beside him and the chauffeur closes the door behind her. Azula grits her teeth and crosses her legs.

Azula calmly lies, "I don't want you to take it personally, but I did try to kill myself because you made me feel bad."

Zuko sighs, well aware that she is just messing with him. "I once attempted suicide."

Azula laughs. Laughs. "That does not surprise me."

Zuko snaps his head around to properly face her. "Wait, what?"

Azula smirks rather giddily. "It also does not surprise me that you failed at that attempt."

"I'm trying to connect with you!" Zuko grits his teeth. "We're family."

Azula scoffs, teetering somewhere on the edge of maniacal laughter. "Please. We wouldn't even know the word family if the definition was soldered across our Ferrari windshields."

She reaches to her purse and starts fishing out her headphones. Zuko grabs her wrist to keep her from shutting him out.

"I'm not saying we're a good family," he says, locking eyes with her while wearing a stiff frown. "The Manson Family was a family. We're the kind of family that would kill each other over a slice of pizza even if we weren't hungry. But we're still a family."

Azula sits back down. She bites her lip.

She struggles to keep any emotion from showing as she croaks out, "You stole my girlfriend, asshole."

Zuko rubs his neck and clears his throat. "So, uh, you heard about that?"

"Of course I did. I am always in the know, nuthouse or not."

He swallows and breathes in deeply. He feigns sincerity as he insists, "I'm… sorry."

"No," says Azula, plugging her headphones into her ears. "No, you're not."

Zuko frowns and gazes at the blur of the city through the limousine window.

[X]

Azula comes home, liberating herself from the awkward ride with Zuko as quickly as her legs can carry her, to see her room covered from surface to floor with designer shopping bags. She peeks inside of a few and finds supplies, clothes, accessories - everything she needs to go back to school in three days. She sits down without unwrapping any of it and stares at her phone's blank screen. She does not know how much time passes before she hears a knock on her window.

Slowly, she rises and walks to open it.

Ty Lee, of course.

"Azula. I'm so happy to see you." Ty Lee invites herself in and hops down onto the floor, gently shutting the window behind her as she stands in the judgment of an angry goddess.

Azula purrs venomously, "Oh, what's that? Right, it's the sound of someone who's dead to me."

"Please, Azula," begs Ty Lee, lip trembling from the threat of ugly tears. "I can explain what happened with Zuko."

"Explain." Azula glares, a look that could bring an empire to its knees. "I want to know your airheaded reasoning, but it won't change that I fucking hate you and will until the day I die."

Ty Lee trembles and toys with her pink crop top sleeve as she says, "I hate you sometimes too. More than I've ever hated anybody." Ty Lee sighs and runs her fingers through her hair. "But maybe that's why I keep coming back to you. I love you, Azula, more than I could ever hate you. I'm so sorry."

"Sorry isn't enough. Get out before I have you escorted out."

Azula crosses her arms. Ty Lee opens to mouth to protest before clamping it closed at the spine-chilling glare she receives.

Tears threaten to spill from her protuberant chocolate eyes as she slinks back out through the window.

[X]

The night before they go back to school for senior year, Zuko brings his whore over, and Azula brings Mai as a buffer to survive this family dinner with father, Zuko and Ty Lee. She never has hated the family dinner before school tradition more than she does tonight.

"Why is Zuko even here? He's on a gap year. Shouldn't he be where he belongs on the other side of the world?" complains Azula to Ozai as they wait for the three guests to arrive.

Dryly, with an air of distaste, Ozai explains, "Your mother is still on her anniversary vacation with your uncle."

"And? He's not the one on twenty-four hour suicide watch." Azula scowls. Ozai ignores her.

Ozai cannot help but smirk at the dark joke, as cold as he may be and as terrifying almost losing his little princess may have been.

Before the conversation can continue, Mai and Ty Lee arrive at the door, talking until they arrive and Mai forces herself to look at Ty Lee with icy hatred. Azula scowls; she will need to chastise Mai for that later, but right now she must focus on surviving this dreadful dinner.

Zuko loudly bounds down the stairs at the sound of the door opening and leans in to kiss Ty Lee before she sees Azula and ducks aside, smiling and giggling to try to soften the blow on her new boyfriend.

Azula smirks victoriously. Oh yes, Ty Lee certainly still has feelings for her. Some things never change.

If Zuko notices, he makes no mention, but Mai casts Azula a knowing glance.

Ozai invites the teenagers inside and they settle at the grand dining table.

[X]

After a dinner of awkwardly generic small talk that involves an excess of Azula and1 Mai blatantly 1ignoring an uncharacteristically nervous Ty Lee, the teenagers gather in the living room to watch Skyfall. Azula made the choice quite consciously, knowing she and Ty Lee went to see it last year on a rather successful date.

Once they all begin to settle, Azula crosses her legs and leans back like a displeased empress.

"Ty Lee," snaps Azula, "fetch the drinks for us."

As soon as Ty Lee wordlessly rises from the sofa to obey her ex-girlfriend and exits the room with the expression of an ashamed puppy, Zuko turns to Mai and says, "I still have your Rocky Horror Blu Ray."

"I still have your virginity," coolly replies Mai and Azula laughs, smirking at her best friend approvingly. She always thought Ty Lee was the perfect partner of the two, but Mai proved to be an excellent teammate tonight.

Zuko grumbles, a flash of anger in his eyes, "I just wanted to give it back to you. You don't need to be so bitter. I don't even understand why you broke up with me in the first place. It just came out of nowhere. You didn't even give me a reason!"

"I don't need to give you a reason," says Mai, still cold and emotionless in contrast to his expression of pure anger.

Azula frowns; she thought Zuko broke up with Mai, not the other way around. Mai seems far too lazy and apathetic to end a relationship unless it was over something truly important.

But before Azula can pry into the issue, Ty Lee returns to the room with the cinnamon hot chocolates and the conversation ends on a stale, bitter note that seems to cool the hot summer air. Zuko smiles and at her and very pointedly kisses her on the cheek as she hands him his mug.

Mai reaches into her purse and withdraws a bright blue roll of sour bubble tape. She bites off a piece and starts chewing it, ignoring her cinnamon hot chocolate as Azula starts the movie.

[X]

A conversation about reality television and spycraft changes into something utterly uncomfortable when Ozai walks in just as Ty Lee is contributing with a giggle, "I slept with an Abercrombie model once. While we were having sex, I looked up and he was doing crunches in the mirror. It was gayer than me."

Mai remarks, "That's why I prefer them older and more experienced." Her gaze lingers a little too long on Ozai and Azula lifts her sharp fake nail to her lower lip in disgusted thought.

Azula finally decides to say to her ex girlfriend and best friend, "Both of you shut up."

In the following silence, Mai wraps her gum around her finger, slowly, slowly, slowly.

She and Ozai lock eyes. Azula bites her lip, uncertain if she is just being paranoid or not. What with Zuko and Ty Lee's little surprise, she would not be shocked if Mai were blatantly flirting with her father like an utter fool.

Azula wishes she had just stayed at the nuthouse.

[X]

In the blindingly, punishingly sunny afternoon on the second day of their junior year, Mai and Azula stand in front of their new lockers as they gather belongings for their first Advanced Biology lab of the year when Mai suddenly closes her locker and says, "Azula… I think I'm pregnant."

Silence.

Azula does not have any idea how the fuck she is supposed to respond to that, especially when it comes out of nowhere in the middle of the day. She thinks she might meet her lunch again, but she pulls herself together.

"Does Zuko know?" she acts, feigning disinterest when, in fact, this may be one of the most intriguing situations she ever has encountered.

"Of course not." Mai seems to care even less than Azula pretends to, especially for a girl on the verge of becoming an MTV laughingstock and the talk of the small, boring private school. "And I'm not telling him about it either. He's probably too busy sucking face with your ex to give it much thought anyway."

Azula shrugs one shoulder. "I will, of course, help. We'll go buy you some tests after school."

Mai narrows her eyes. "You're less pissed than I thought you'd be."

"It isn't any of my business." Azula sighs and shuts her locker. "Besides, you are apparently the only friend I have left since my vacation to a padded room."

Mai smirks. Azula shrugs one shoulder.

They head off to class, heels and combat boots clicking on the fancy marble floors.

[X]

An hour later, "Okay," drones the dull science teacher, "break into groups of three for today's lab."

Ty Lee starts walking towards Azula and Mai before Azula seizes the shoulders of a nerdy girl she never before has spoken to and situates her between herself and Mai. Ty Lee freezes in place and is engulfed by two cheerleaders.

"I'm your… your partner now?" asks the girl, her baby blue eyes widening to the size of saucers. Her cheap eyeliner smudged terribly this hour of day, giving her the look of a raccoon who has seen a very enticing piece of trash.
"Yes. Now shut up and go get the slides for us," orders Azula coolly.

Ty Lee keeps trying to capture her attention for the entirety of class.

Azula ignores her, as difficult as it may be.

[X]

After school in the middle of Target, Azula pokes one of the pregnancy tests on the shelf. "I'm so glad I'm a lesbian. No surprise pregnancies."

Mai shrugs and comments, "You could still get herpes, chlamydia, syphilis…"

Huffily, Azula insists with a sharp glare, "I don't have any STDs, bitch."

Mai fights back a smirk as she jokes, "You mean you haven't banged Ty Lee?"

Azula glowers. "Ha ha."

Mai stares at the pregnancy tests and voices her chilly, exasperated thought. "How the Hell am I going to generate enough pee to take four different pregnancy tests?"

Azula smirks. "We could Juno this with some Sunny D."

Mai dryly retorts, "I think they only sell Sunny D in poor neighborhoods."

Azula snaps, "Dom Perignon then. Just hurry up and get four brands of choice. I don't want to be seen in this aisle. There are enough rumors circulating about my little summer vacation to Colorado. The last thing I need is everyone hypothesizing that I'm knocked up too."

Mai seizes four different brands of pregnancy tests and tosses them into the basket with the Hot Tamales, strawberry Twizzlers and three two liter bottles of Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi.

"Yeah. This one time at then nuthouse-"

"Shut it. The car is waiting for us." Azula shoves her phone into her pocket and she and her best friend walk side by side to the deserted self checkout.

[X]

Mai stands in Azula's room and stares at the four tests, all reading positive in one way or another.
She licks her lips and takes a deep breath. Azula sits on her bed, looking halfway amused.

"Well, aren't you in a dilemma?" she comments, smirking. "This gossip might eclipse the chatter about me and my very fashionable alleged straightjacket."

Mai throws a pregnancy test with astounding precision, but Azula smoothly dodges while cackling.

"If you tell anyone, you won't live long enough to regret ever being born."

"Don't worry. I won't tell unless I have something truly excellent to gain. Besides, I love the gossip about me. Oscar Wilde said the only thing worse than being talked about badly is not being talked about at all."

"You better be telling the truth."

"Cross my heart." Unfortunately for both of them, Azula just has a cold storage shed in her chest. Still, she may keep her word if it means keeping her last friend. Decisions, decisions. "So, what are you going to do about this little blessing?"

"Nip it in the bud before it gets any worse. What the fuck else would I do?"

Azula bats her eyelashes. "Devastate Zuko and Ty Lee's relationship with this information."

"Nope," says Mai, deeply disappointing and almost enraging Azula. "Not my thing. I'm going to go make a call to a clinic and leave you to seethe alone about your ex."

Mai storms out when she sees the look on Azula's face.

Azula curls up on her bed and sighs.

She might actually be missing the asylum at this point.

[X]

A dull, boring week later, Azula wakes up in the morning to a knock on her window. She stretches and yawns and takes a leisurely walk across her large room to open the window and let Ty Lee inside.

This time, no one closes it behind her.

"Do I have to call the police?" asks Azula, glaring as she speaks.

Ty Lee starts pacing and wringing her hands. Finally, she looks up, tears gleaming in her protuberant, round eyes. "Please just… Azula, you're the only thing ever going on in my mind and being ignored is hurting me. I can't keep looking at you at school and knowing you might never talk to me again."

"What I'm doing… I'm not being sadistic," says Azula. "Each day when you try to catch my attention and I ignore you is me at my most masochistic."

Ty Lee examines Azula thoughtfully. "When you tell the truth you look different. Your eyes change."

"I'll have to keep that in mind," says Azula, uncertain how anyone could find a tell. She has none. Either Ty Lee is lying or Azula has let someone get closer to her than she ever intended.

"Why?" whispers Ty Lee, wringing her hands again.

"So that I never do it again," replies Azula.

Ty Lee rubs her lips together and stares at her bare feet, focused intently on the chipped hot pink toenail polish. Azula averts her eyes, unsure where to look.

She starts to smile for some reason and Azula could not be more bewildered. But it becomes wistful and agonized as Ty Lee quietly asks, "Do you remember when we met? At Girl Scouts?"

"Yes." Azula blinks, trying not to think about it.

Ty Lee gushes, "You were so beautiful and confident. And, yeah, that made me want to meet you. But there was something in me that was drawn to you. Like I knew you were going to be somebody important in my life. It's like… I can only call it destiny."

Azula knew it too. She felt the same thing that day.

But her anger is stronger than her love for Ty Lee, at least today, at least for the foreseeable future.

"You should go." Azula wants to beg her to stay but she is better than that. She is Azula Shinohai and never gives in to her sentimentality. Perfect, superhuman people shut out such useless emotions as those, and Azula is perfect and superhuman.

"Do you… do you accept my apology?" asks Ty Lee, eyelashes fluttering as she struggles to hold back the floodgates.

Azula glares at her former girlfriend and best friend in the world with enough glacial fire to make Ty Lee melt into a pathetic puddle.

"No."

[X]

After kicking Ty Lee out, sniffling and expending most of her energy on holding back a river of pained tears, Azula heads out to pick up Mai from the abortion clinic. She struggles not to cry as she drives, distracted as she weaves through the traffic stuffed roads.
Azula clutches the steering wheel so tightly that her knuckles turn white.

She tries to maintain herself, to be the fiery ice queen she is and always has been. Yet, she is alone. She is alone and finds herself sobbing as she drives.

Minutes later in the parking lot, she composes herself and reapplies her makeup. She has enough time to pull herself together before Mai meanders to the car and buckles herself into the passenger seat.

"Have you been crying?" asks Mai with a slight, barely noticeable furrow of her brow.

Azula shoots her a steely, warning glance and Mai sarcastically raises her hands in surrender.

"No."


Chapter Twenty-Two: Never Have I Ever


Azula drums her fingernails on her desk as she waits for the Milligan Figures so that she can report back to her father. She freezes, middle finger grazing the mahogany, when her cell phone rings. She sees Ty Lee's name and answers it, hoping this is not about Bunny's skeevy and intrusive father.

"What is it? I am working," demands Azula, holding up a finger at Aang, whom just has poked in the room to hopefully apologize for getting the wrong coffee order earlier.

Ty Lee says, far too eagerly for Azula's liking, "Toph has her ultrasound this afternoon and I'm going and I'd love for you to come, princess."

"That doesn't sound like my problem," purrs Azula.

"I just thought I'd ask. I'd really like for you to…"

Azula purses her lips, and at last sighs. The things she does for love. And to get out of her meeting with her most dreadful clients this afternoon. "What time is the appointment?"

"Three-thirty."

"I will… be there," relents Azula as she takes a sip of her coffee.

Ty Lee squeals excitedly, so loudly that Azula must pull the phone away from her ear.

Azula sighs and downs her piping hot black coffee in one dedicated gulp.

"I assume you're here to tell me you have to leave early for your little girlfriend's ultrasound?"

[X]

That afternoon, Azula walks with her wife, her intern Aang, and his blind baby mama into the ultrasound room at the hospital where Toph has chosen to deliver. Babysitting teenage parents is where her life has come to. She does not know what to make of it and, honestly, needs a fucking cigarette as soon as she gets out of this shithole hospital.

The ultrasound technician tries to help Toph onto the bed, and Azula and Ty Lee exchange a faintly smiling glance as Toph shoves the woman off of her and comfortably settles herself without any assistance. Aang clears his throat and murmurs an awkward apology to the woman.

After a few minutes of preparation and work, the image flashes on the screen. "There's your baby. The hand, the arm, and there's the head."

"It looks just like Aang," jabs Azula with a smirk shot at a boy who cannot comprehend that coffee ought to be served black. "Bald and amorphous."

Ty Lee covers her mouth as she giggles. Aang blushes bright red and returns his attention to the screen.

"Well, I think it looks adorable," jokes Toph. Pause. "Is Ty Lee crying?"

"I'm not made of stone, okay!" exclaims Ty Lee, rubbing at her eyes. "This is emotional."

"Yeah," says Aang, sounding on the verge of tears himself.

Azula cannot believe she agreed to this madness.

The ultrasound technician inquires, "Do you want to know the sex?"

"Yes!" excitedly chirps Aang.

Simultaneously, Toph grunts, "I don't care either way. It's not like I'm appreciating the pictures. Might as well get something out of this."

The ultrasound technician moves the wand before declaring, "A baby girl. You must be thrilled!"

Ty Lee clasps her hands to her chest breathlessly. "Oh, it reminds me of finding out about Bunny."

Azula cannot believe she agreed to marry this woman.

"Is this over yet?" asks Toph. "I'm bored out of my fucking mind."

She starts to rise from the table but the ultrasound technician gently taps her elbow and stops her.

"We're 3D printing the ultrasound for you."

Toph's tough girl attitude falters for a moment. "Wait… what?"

"Well, you're… uhm…" The ultrasound technician clears her throat in discomfort.

"Blind," snaps Toph bluntly. "I don't give a fuck if you say it. It's kinda obvious."

She smiles quite mockingly as she waves her palm in front of her wide, unmoving mint eyes.

But when she touches her hand to the ultrasound and feels the outlines of her baby, everyone in the room sees the girl as rough as the Earth itself may not truly be made of stone either.

[X]

After the ultrasound, Azula sits at home playing video games with Bunny. She has been teaching her how to beat the Fire Temple boss in Ocarina of Time, a character that has quickly become a nemesis of the tiny pigtailed girl. Bunny clutches her favorite stuffed animal to her chest (a light blue plush Junimo from Stardew Valley Azula purchased for her as a random gift) as she watches her stepmother with wide, admiring eyes.

Azula finally turns off the game and tucks the complaining girl in for the night.

She knows every elaborate step of the process by heart.

And she knows that each moment she spends with Bunny during Toph's pregnancy forces her to walk a slippery, daunting slope.

[X]

Azula is halfway through pouring her nightly glass of Zinfandel when Ty Lee taps her shoulder.

"Is there a reason you are disrupting me in such a serene moment?" demands Azula, popping the cork back into the black bottle and taking a sip of her wine.

Ty Lee shuffles her feet and picks at her fake nails as she tries to think of how to express what she wants to say. Finally, she spits it out with her protuberant eyes squeezed shut. "Azula, I think we should ask them if we can adopt the baby. I really do."

Azula points right between her gilded eyes. "Look at my face. This is the face that fired a thousand interns. This is the face more formidable than that of Ozai, Azulon or Sozin Shinohai. What kind of face does it look like to you?"

"The face of a new mommy," coos Ty Lee, utterly undeterred.
Azula does not want to admit that she wants this too. She does not want to let Ty Lee think she won. But Azula also always gets what she wants and she wants another little baby girl.

[X]

In the morning, Azula sits at the table with her Monster, cigarette and work e-mail on her phone. It may be Saturday but she never, ever clocks out. Her father and grandfather taught her that. But Ty Lee yawns sleepily over her sweet, sweet, sweet coffee and halfheartedly sctarolls through Instagram.

Finally, she looks up and sighs, drawing her wife's attention away from a relatively unimportant memo.

"Azula," she asks with an ugly pout, "do you think I'm smart?"

Azula rolls her eyes pointedly. "Oh, is that what we're going to do today? We're going to fight?"

"God," scoffs Toph as she clomps into the kitchen, "what did you have for breakfast? Carnation Instant Bitch?"

"I'm just being honest." Pause. "Why are you even asking me this?"

Ty Lee prattles off while pouring her bowl of Froot Loops, "Because I was talking to your dad and he said he was glad he married the smart one."

Azula narrows her weary eyes. "Why were you talking to my father?"

"Because you've been ignoring his calls and he's angry about it." Ty Lee pours too much milk and pouts as she performs an elaborate balancing act to get her breakfast to the kitchen island.

"If he wants me to take his calls, he should start taking mine. What did he want?"

Ty Lee launches into, "Well, Zuko and Katara and Iroh and Ursa apparently got your grandmother a better present than us for her birthday and we have to beat them or whatever."

"And I thought my family was fucked up," says Toph.

Azula snaps, "Who even made you a part of this conversation?"

"How would she like a new grandkid?" says Toph, ignoring Azula's rude question.

"A new…" Ty Lee trails off; she does not want to get too excited.

Toph shrugs. "I heard you guys talking last night."

"You'd… let us adopt her?"

"Yeah. I like you two, for some dumb fucking reason. If I could just pop it out now and hand it to you I would. But we should probably wait for it to get a little cuter or something."

Ty Lee screams in joy. Screams.

Azula almost throws a lit cigarette at her but restrains herself by putting it out directly into Ty Lee's milky white coffee.

Unfortunately for Azula, Ty Lee does not even notice.

[X]

That evening, Azula takes Ty Lee to Tao while Aang and Toph babysit Bunny. They sit in the private section upstairs alone, isolated from even New York's elite, as Azula orders priceless wine. Ty Lee has not stopped smiling like an idiot all day.

"Celebrating something tonight, ladies?" asks the waitress with a saccharine smile on her rouge lips.

"We're adopting a baby!" chirps Ty Lee without any permission from Azula.

"Oh! Congratulations. That's so exciting." The waitress smiles, baby blue eyes glittering with shared excitement. Ty Lee seems to lend that energy to everyone she encounters.

"Bring us our order," says Azula, and the cute moment quickly ends.

The waitress hides her scowl as she walks away.

[X]

After dinner, Azula glances at her thin golden watch.

"It's still early," she complains. "I was honestly enjoying my child-free time."

Maybe a baby is a mistake. Maybe it is the perfect idea.

Every time she thinks about Bunny, both of those thoughts simultaneously strike her.

Ty Lee taps her finger on her lip for a moment before her eyes flash wide and excited. "Well, my favorite club is only like five blocks away. We won't have a lot of chances once we're taking care of a new baby."

Azula finds her Xanax and downs it with a long sip of champagne.

Although she wants to do it too, she pretends to be making a great, grand concession, as usual. "I will indulge you out of the kindness of my heart."

"Yay!" Ty Lee brightly smiles as they finish rising from the table.

The married couple strides down the stairs out of the private area of the restaurant and starts walking through the dimly lit city streets, holding hands on the sidewalk as a thousand taxi cabs adorned with advertisements for strip clubs and porn sites drive by through the moderate traffic.

Their conversation absorbs them so deeply that the pickpocket almost slips by undetected. But Ty Lee sees the man dressed in grimy black clothes out of the corner of her eye and grabs him by the hood the moment his hand withdraws from Azula's fire red purse.

"Thief," says Ty Lee plainly, pointing at the young man who resembles a weasel.

He struggles against her before finding the gymaholic too strong and starts to slip out of his jacket as Azula examines the inside of her bag.

She looks up and pounds the heel of her wrist against his chest, knocking him back into her wife's tight hold as he almost escapes.

"Phone," orders Azula, holding out her hand.

Shaking, he gives it back, breaks his hood free of Ty Lee and bolts down the street like demons stalk him.

They exchange a look, remarkably attracted to each other at this moment, and wordlessly resume their walk to the nightclub.

[X]

Azula does not dance in clubs. She is a Shinohai and would never do something so unbecoming of one. But Ty Lee does. And she looks incredibly hot while she does it.

While Azula watches her and tries to hide her contented smirk, leaning her back against the bar as she sips Fireball and Coke, she almost does not notice the man slipping up beside her. She glances up once, eyes him with distaste, and returns her attention to her wife.

"What is a lovely young woman like you doing drinking alone?" he asks, far too close to her ear for comfort as he speaks.

"Avoiding you," says Azula casually.

"There's no need for hostility," he says, still in an affected romantic drawl. "I'm just trying to buy you a drink, make some conversation.

"And I am clearly uninterested."

"Do you I even know who I am?" asks the man, still using the same tone he did to try to pick her up. Ty Lee stops dancing and starts walking over, but Azula can handle herself.

Azula smirks. "Judging by your gaudy tie and classless attempt at picking me up, I assume you're a low level manager of an unimportant business. Since you don't recognize me as a regular you must work in close proximity to the bar, and so I assume you work for Cabbage Corp. You think you're good with people, but judging from the yellow teeth from sucking down black coffee you don't work a client facing job. You're just some economically and sexually frustrated little nobody with at least one ex-wife who assumed I was drunk enough and self loathing enough to give you a shot. Unluckily for you. I am Azula Shinohai, and I know your boss, Simon, personally. I was at his son's wedding last year. So it would be wise to fuck off forever while there is still a chance I can forget your miserable, mouth breathing face."

Ty Lee beams as he scuttles away in shame.

Azula grabs her and kisses her in plain view of everyone.

Ty Lee has never before felt as lucky as she does tonight.

[X]

On the journey to the Alps for Ilah's birthday gathering, Ty Lee sits with books about babies while resting comfortable aboard the private jet. Names, preparation instructions…

"I'm bookmarking some pages I think you might like," chirps Ty Lee. "I'm so excited. I wasn't ready enough for Bunny. We're gonna be so ready for… for… for…"

Azula huffs. "Are you trying to trick me into suggesting a baby name?"

"Uh, yeah…" Ty Lee blushes and closes her book. "Do you have any thoughts?"

"I think we should be more concerned about how to tell Bunny she no longer will be an only child, rather than whatever trite name to gift our future child with."

"Bunny will be really happy. Don't worry."

"Then why haven't you told her yet?"

Ty Lee clears her throat and rubs her neck awkwardly. "No reason."

She flashes an innocent smile. Azula rolls her eyes and returns to checking her work e-mails.

"Is this flight almost over?" demands Toph, stepping out of she and Aang's private compartment. "Being pregnant makes me have to piss like a racehorse."

"Bathroom is in the front," says Azula without looking up. "Have you never been on a plane?"

"No, no I haven't. I prefer to stick close to the ground."

"Bathroom is in the front," repeats Azula.

Toph clomps by and slams the lavatory door casually behind her.

[X]

Upon their arrival by limousine to the Alpine Resort Azulon purchased for his wife, Azula and Ty Lee juggle Bunny, Toph, Aang and luggage as they walk up the snowy stairs and into the gold-filled mansion. They find Iroh waiting for them, the only person in the room/

Fantastic. Azula clenches her jaw.

"Azula, Ty Lee, you only get more beautiful every time I see you. And are these lovely adolescents are your guests?" inquires Iroh.

Azula regally purrs, "Yes. Ty Lee and I are having a baby. We are responsible and caring and generous and therefore are offering true kindness to two teenagers who, without our intervention, probably would have been stoned to death by the trailer park they were reared in."

Ty Lee coughs, blushing as pink as her bandage dress. She sometimes does not know why she married this woman.

"So, how has the weather been in New York?" asks Iroh politely.

Azula scoffs. "Uncle, if I wanted to make pointless conversation, I would eat lunch in the break room at work."

Mai slips up behind Azula and whispers, "This is why you don't have friends."

"I have friends. I have… you." Azula looks her best friend slash stepmother up and down. "Unfortunately."

"You should probably be nicer to the only person on this planet who even slightly likes you for who you are," says Zuko loudly as he and his family enter the room.

Azula's lips contort into an evil smirk. "Oh, ZuZu, and the whore and… that thing."

Katara states frigidly, "It's a baby. You ought to know; they're your favorite snack."

A battle of words is cut short by Ilah striding halfway down the grand staircase and addressing her family in the style of an Old Hollywood starlet.

"Little makes me happier than seeing my entire family together like this," comments Ilah. "Please, let's enjoy this beautiful week, and I hope we can set any… differences aside."

She flashes a smile that insists upon ignoring the perpetual War of the Roses in the Shinohai Family.

[X]

The first night is the first party in honor of Ilah and her desire to have a close, loving brood and probably not the last night the Shinohai family will get wasted in order to somehow tolerate each other's company,

Azula sets her hands on her hips as she looks at Toph and Aang. They already helped her tuck in Bunny and now wait anxiously to escape the potential party they absolutely do not want to attend, despite Aang pretending it sounds like fun.

"We are leaving you two unattended," she says regally. "Do not get into any trouble."

Toph laughs. "I'm already knocked up at fifteen. What more trouble could we get into?"

It does not faze Azula nor draw out a laugh, although Ty Lee giggles into her soft, manicured hand. "Trouble that costs me reputation with my family."

Toph grunts. "Okay, mom."

"We promise we won't get into any trouble," hastily says Aang.

Toph huffs, grabs Aang and they head off into the depths of the house.

An arguing Mai and Ozai Shinohai walk past them and stop just in front of the party.

Mai glares at her husband. "If you don't put down Valerie, the headache you are giving me is going to last the next three to seven nights."

"Go enjoy the party, as much as someone can. I'll be back," says Ozai, to Azula's utter shock. He takes Valerie from Mai's tired arms and strides away.

Mai turns to Azula and Ty Lee and then glances through the door at Ilah's party. She turns back to her two best friends,

"I need some air," she say, walking towards one of the doors that leads outside into the snowy Hellscape. No one knows why Azulon bought this place or his home in the Rockies when Shinohais prefer the heat. Mai glances over her shoulder. "Let's get some air."

Ty Lee looks to Azula for permission, Azula nods, and they join her.

[X]

Five minutes later, out on the balcony, "I didn't know by air you meant hard drugs," remarks Azula on the verge of laughter.

Mai finishes laying out flawless thin white lines. "Have you met your family?"

Azula shrugs and says, "You seem to handle us well. I have never seen someone be so… brusque with my father and escape unscathed."

Mai shrugs. "He owes me. I mean last night when we were in bed I—"

Azula leaps up. "Mai! If you finish that sentence, I am going to rub cocaine in your eyes until you are blind."

"Don't you need a needle or something for this?" asks Ty Lee, squinting.

Mai shakes her head. "I'm not going to shoot it. That seems like a slippery slope."

"All cocaine is a slippery slope. It's the world's most addictive drug." Azula takes a drag from her cigarette and exhales right at these blasted mountains.

Mai shoots her smoking stepdaughter the ultimate side eye. "I heard that was actually nicotine."

Azula taps her cigarette and lets the ashes fall right onto the table where Mai has been laying out her poison of choice. "Leave my favorite cocktail alone."

"Fireball and Sriracha?" asks Mai.

Azula retorts, "Cigarettes, Xanax and Monsters."

Ty Lee taps her lip with her hot pink fake nails. "Mai, I really never would have pegged you for a cocaine addict."

Mai snaps coolly, "I'm not a cocaine addict."

"What do you want me to call it?" asks Ty Lee, furrowing her brow.

Mai shrugs loosely. "Cocaine enthusiast?"

Ty Lee giggles. Azula struggles to hold back her laughter and loses.

[X]

After getting "air," Azula and Ty Lee stand in the corner, avoiding the gathering and talking amongst themselves. Azula already broke the news about the baby to a thrilled Ilah and the good will bought them some time away from this nightmare.

Ty Lee has not stopped thinking about their time on the balcony, even after excitedly gushing about becoming a mother again to an eager Ilah, Iroh and Ursa. "I'm always surprised with Mai since she married your father. She never took so many risks when we were kids."

Azula drawls, "I don't know. I picked her up from an abortion junior year."

Ty Lee does not react in the way Azula anticipated.

She puts her fingers over her mouth, eyes wide and thoughtful. Azula sees it immediately; Ty Lee knows something that she does not. "The baby might have been…"

"Might have been what?" Azula hisses, almost spilling her glass of champagne.

Ty Lee gulps and fiddles with the hem of her pink shirt. "I promised her I wouldn't tell you."

"Tell me what?" She looks ready to kill everyone in the room and Ty Lee decides her decades old promise to Mai is not worth a scene.

"That while you were in the hospital the summer before junior year, she slept with your dad. I overheard them arguing about it and when I tried to talk to her she made me promise. Pinky promise. That's like sacred."

Azula freezes. "Oh," she says.

"You're not mad?"

"No," lies Azula. "Let's get some more champagne."

Ty Lee does not quite believe her, but follows her in silence nonetheless.

[X]

As the night advances, the young adults somehow — the next day none of them quite recall how — begin playing a game of never have I ever at one of the rustic tables beside the cracking fireplace.

Katara thinks for a moment before taking her turn. "Never have I ever had sex in a dressing room."

Azula and Ty Lee fight not to look at each other but cannot help but exchange a glance as they take a sip.

"Frederick's of Hollywood, senior year," giggles Ty Lee.

"Azula?" says Katara.

As Azula ponders, they wait with bated breath.

Azula's smirk never once before has been more evil. Ty Lee tenses up on her lap.

"Never have I ever slept with one of my best friend's family members while she was in the nuthouse."

Ty Lee grimaces but takes a drink. A long drink.

Azula clears her throat. "Mai."

"Okay, I didn't have sex with Zuko since he was making goo goo eyes at Ty Lee and as much as he was blaming himself for your overdose I wasn't about to lie down out of pity like the night he took me to prom."

Katara laughs.

Azula's glare hardens. " isMai."

"I hate this game."

"Take the drink!"

"No."

"She didn't sleep with me, Azula. Calm down."

"Take the drink, Lolita!"

Mai stands up and as she walks away, Azula flings the entire bottle of champagne at her stepmother.

Katara jumps to her feet and stands firmly between them, certain they stand on the precipice of a cat fight.

Katara keeps her tone calm but firm as she orders, "Azula, use your words instead of your bitchy games. What's upsetting you?"

"Mind your own business, brother stealing slut! There's more champagne where that one came from!"

Mai spins around. Katara stumbles. No one has ever seen such fire in her pale amber eyes.

"I'm not sorry that I fucked your dad! It was great! I hate you and I hate your brother and so I have absolutely no regrets about that night! I apologize for not streaming the porno to your padded cell!"

"Was the baby his?" hisses Azula.

"What baby?" shouts Zuko.

"It's none of your business," growls Mai.

"What baby?" Zuko stands up despite Katara grabbing at him, and walks over to the scene.

An ominous prescence entering the room ends the fight abruptly.

"Are you quite finished? What exactly is the meaning of this scene?" growls Azulon.

The room falls silent.


PLEASE READ THIS FUN REQUEST

A/N: Who wants to name the baby? I'm leaving the choice up to y'all, the lovely and amazing readers. Review your favorite name idea(s) and whoever gets their name chosen as the official Tyzula baby's name will get to request a one shot from me about anything they desire (and I will of course write it for you) or an update of any fic that will be my top priority. You can also PM me names if you're shy, but I, like all authors on here, love reviews. Every name, no matter how silly or serious, will be featured in the next chapter so if you want to, give me some weird ones too for funny moments! The names can be any kind, any origin, I'm up for anything for this new baby. Thank you as always for reading this far and I hope you're enjoying the show!

PS: Please feel free to review about everything and anything else even if you're uninterested in the baby naming. Your thoughts mean the world to me.