Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I'm just playing with her characters. Also, I did not come up with Jasper as the God of War or of Peter 'just knowing shit'. Those ideas belongs to IdreamofEddy. I would like to thank the spectacular covenmama for providing me with the info that IdreamofEddy was responsible for those so I could give her credit.

A/N: Thank you to my awesome beta Laurie Whitlock, my pre-readers AlwaysJASPERsLOVE and Shadman, and my beloved sister Shelljayz who also happens to pre-read for me. There is another person I should have thanked long before now. If it weren't for shirleypositive72 and her amazing story The Lists, which you should read if you haven't, and the Facebook page she made for it, I never would have found Laurie, AlwaysJASPERsLOVE, and Shadman. It was through their encouragement, and my sister's, of course, that I found the guts to post Longing. I shared this with shirleypositive72 the other day, asking if it would be alright for me to put her in an A/N. She gave me permission and also wanted me to let you all know that my admission made her cry. Thank you again, dear! :)

Thank you to Ellie Wolf for the beautiful banner she made for Longing and to Laurie for surprising me with it. I will be setting up a link in my bio so you can view it. I have added a picture of Bella's necklace from chapter 7.

Okay, so 121 reviews, 112 favorites, and 208 followers! I have to say, I am absolutely blown away and so grateful to every single one of you. The response that I've gotten to this story is more than I ever could have hoped for and I am so very lucky to have all of you as readers. Thank you so much! :)

I do feel I need to warn you all though. This story isn't going to be a short one. Bella and Jasper are going to go through a lot and learn a lot about themselves and each other before the story ends. I hope you all will be up for the ride. :)

After this chapter I will do my best to make the author's notes shorter than the actual chapter.

oOo

September 2080

JPOV

I didn't know what possessed me to follow her. I should have kept my ass planted on that barstool but there I was, following the girl's scent to a secluded alcove in the alley behind the bar. I approached her as if it was something I'd done a hundred times before, settling my back against the brick wall across from her in a casual stance, my feet crossed at the ankles. She was standing similarly, an unlit cigarette dangling from her fingers. I saw no sign of a lighter and the scent of lighter fluid was absent, which meant she didn't have one on her. This added curiosity and amusement to my irritation.

"Most people actually smoke when they take smoke breaks," I said glibly.

"What can I say? I'm a rebel," the girl retorted, unaffected, "and you are a stalker."

I liked her voice. I'd liked it the moment I'd first heard her speak …

"Sweet Jesus!" she'd exclaimed. I remembered that clear as day. Well, I remembered everything clear as day, but that, in particular, stood out.

Her voice was low and throaty. It sounded like sex.

"You're bein' awfully presumptuous, sugar," I drawled.

"And what? You just happened to walk into my bar on one of the nights I just happen to work?" she asked incredulously.

"Yes," I responded sarcastically, "I make a habit of searchin' out and followin' mediocre-lookin' girls cross country just so I can stand in humid alleys watchin' while they don'tsmoke."

So maybe she wasn't awful looking. Her body, I had to admit, was hot as fuck. She'd put on at least fifteen pounds in the five weeks since I'd last seen her and I'd been right about the extra weight. Now instead of bony, she was healthy, slender but still all long legs and lean muscles. She did indeed now possess heavenly curves, fantastic breasts, and a delicious ass as showcased by a pair of short denim shorts. Watching that ass all night had been the one good thing that had come out of this whole shitty situation.

"Yeah well, I don't believe in coincidences," she said.

"I don't give a fuck what you believe," I told her seriously, and I didn't.

I wasn't lying about that, but there was one thing I could no longer deny. I wanted her. I'd been telling myself all night, for the last five weeks, that I didn't, that all the times I'd made myself come with the image of her in my head were flukes and they no doubt were; but she was here, right now, standing in front of me and I wanted her. I wanted her and I hated her for it. Now I was going to make her suffer for what she'd put me through these past weeks. I was going to make her want me just as much as I wanted her. I wouldn't be able to use my gift to do it since I had no idea if it would work on her, but I didn't need my gift for this. I was more than capable of driving her insane with lust without it. By the time I was done with her she'd be begging me to fuck her. Hell, maybe I would. Perhaps if I got it out of my system, I could get her out of my head once and for all and find some peace … as far as she was concerned, at least.

Plan solidified, I stalked forward slowly, a deadly smirk on my face, making sure to convey with every part of me that she was being hunted and that she knew it. Her eyes widened, her heart speeding up the slightest bit, the scent of her blood sweetening with adrenaline. It was the first time she'd reacted the way a human should in the presence of a vampire, but even then it wasn't nearly to the degree it should have been.

The closer I got, the more I paid attention to every little detail about her. I wanted to see how she reacted to me but not for the purpose of my little game; that fun would come later. I knew she didn't like being touched. I also knew there was a distinct possibility that the reason she didn't like being touched was because someone had forced themselves on her, and that wasn't something I was willing to prey on to make this girl suffer. Oh, I wanted her to suffer, of that there was no doubt, but what I had planned was a sweet sort of torture that ended in a frustrated madness, not a broken body and soul. I was a lot of things, but I was no rapist.

The girl was wary of me, that much was clear, and the nearer my proximity the faster her heart raced. She did stiffen but it wasn't in the same way she had when Douchebag had touched her or even when Esme had or when Alice had tried to. Without the use of my gift I couldn't really tell you what the difference was, just that there was one. This difference wasn't exactly an invitation but it wasn't a refusal either, so I stopped just inches away from her and studied her face. In all the time I'd known her, which hadn't been long, she'd been hard for me to read, and that was rare. As an empath, I got to feel emotions and match them with people's facial expressions. Twenty-one and a half decades of daily exposure to this made it pretty damn easy for me to figure out what people were feeling and sometimes even what they were thinking just by looking at them, but not her. In that moment though, I knew. I saw fear on her face but something; instinct maybe, told me it wasn't fear for her life. Her eyes were dark and stormy as they had been during her mini-confrontation with Douchebag but there was a different tenor to them now—still angry but there was passion there too.

I continued to press forward, forcing her back against the wall. Eventually, there was no more room for her to back up but I didn't stop this time until my body was practically flush against hers. She was tense but still she made no move to get out from under me, and she felt so damn amazing pressed up against me I wanted to cry with relief.

"And for the record," I purred into her ear, running my nose from the skin behind her ear and down her neck until I reached her pulse point, my tongue darting out to taste the sweet skin there, my teeth nipping just hard enough for her to feel it but not enough for her to be in any danger from my venom, my cool lips soothing where they'd grazed when all was said and done, "if I was stalkin' you, you wouldn't know it until I moved in for the kill."

My eyes rolled back in my head, She tastes so fuckin' good.

I'd placed my hands at the sides of her breasts as I'd made my proclamation, waiting for her reaction, good or bad. She didn't flinch or tense at my touch; it was the opposite actually - tension left her body, so I raked my fingers down until they lightly gripped her hips. Heat shot through my fingertips, electricity shooting through every cell of my body. I didn't know what the fuck that was but I'd never felt anything like it and it set me on fire. She gasped at my ministrations and a shiver ripped through her, her back arching so that her breasts pressed against my chest. I suppressed a groan, suddenly achingly hard, and moved my hips just far enough away from her so that she couldn't tell how much this whole thing was affecting me. The whole point of this exercise was to make her want me, not to show how much I wanted her, and at the sudden heady scent of arousal radiating from her I was succeeding gloriously. I couldn't decide what smelled better: her blood or the scent of her desire, especially when I knew it was me that had made her wet. It was incredibly difficult to resist the impulse to drop to my knees, rip her shorts and panties off, and taste her but I managed it … barely. God, I wanted to feel her. I wanted to feel everything ... her skin, her tight, wet heat, her emotions. I wanted to feel how much she wanted me. Why couldn't I just feel it?

When I pulled back, I met her gaze steadily. Her eyes were heavy-lidded with desire but as always there was a defiance and challenge in them. I couldn't say I expected anything less. This wouldn't have been nearly as much fun if those things were absent. Then she squirmed against me, her hard nipples scraping against my chest and sending another flash of heat and electricity through me. My dick twitched and I lost my train of thought.

"Cocky son of bitch, aren't you?" she asked, her voice disappointingly even despite bein' husky with lust.

"No," I said.

I was telling the God's honest truth. It was true of most vampires, but especially of me. Maybe I should have lied to her, I knew I should have, but for some reason I couldn't. I leaned in a little closer, my lips only a millimeter or so from hers. I wanted to look down at them, to close the distance but I didn't. I continued to hold her gaze instead. She must have seen the truth of my simple statement in my eyes but my honesty didn't alarm her. Surprisingly, it turned her on. Her breathing picked up and another stronger wave of arousal assaulted my nose. I couldn't suppress the low growl that rumbled in my chest or stop my hips from bucking into hers when I smelled it but she hardly minded if the soft moan that escaped her lips was any indication.

Fuck, this girl is goin' to kill me!

I was sure I was projecting enough lust to drive everyone within a half-mile radius insane but I didn't give a shit. Even so, she didn't seem to be affected.

The girl moved to close the distance between our lips but I dodged her at the last second. I'd wanted to kiss her only moments before but I wouldn't because kissing wasn't something I did. It was intimate. It promised things I couldn't give, things I refused to promise any of the women I'd been with. I hadn't kissed a woman since Maria, not even Alice, and that's the way it would stay. The fact that I even wanted to kiss this girl shocked the hell out of me. This had started out as a way to torture her, to make her want me and then leave her hanging the way I had been for five goddamn weeks, but now I didn't know what I was doing. Now I didn't know if I'd be able to stop myself from finishing what I'd started. If I broke my rule, if I kissed her, everything would change; I couldn't kiss her, so I moved my lips to her neck, licking, sucking, and nipping down the hollow of her throat. I felt her whimper vibrate through her skin and I moved my hands to the small of her back, tugging her even harder against me and feeling how the moist Kentucky heat had plastered the material of her t-shirt to her torso. I slipped the fingers of one hand underneath the hem of her shirt, stroking her bare skin with my fingertips. She didn't jerk away from me. At that point, I hadn't really expected her to, but there was still a small part of me that was afraid she would. The electricity and heat that coursed through me at the naked contact between us, small as it might have been, was ten times more intense than it had been through her clothing, and she moaned again. Could she feel it too?

"Fuck," I groaned against the skin of her neck, my hips bucking into hers again, my erection hitting that sacred little bundle of nerves between her legs and causing her to gasp. One tug of a zipper, the shifting of some fabric, a quick thrust and I'd be inside her.

Oh God, I want to be inside her. I need to be inside her.

Her hands flew to my shoulders, fingers gripping hard. If I'd been human, her fingernails would have been digging into my skin hard enough to draw blood. Aside from trying to kiss me, this was the first proactive move she'd made since I'd pinned her to the wall. It made me think that the reason she didn't like being touched had nothing at all to do with sex. Maybe she'd never been touched in a sexual way period and just had no idea what to do. She was only sixteen, no more than seventeen, after all. In this day and age, that was a bit old for sustained purity but stranger things had been known to happen. The thought that she might be untouched had me fighting mightily the urge to claim her.

I pulled back from her, needing there to be distance between my teeth and her skin. My head was spinning with the desire to bite her, my teeth aching to be buried in her butter-soft skin, mouth pooling with venom at the very thought of it. I still hadn't decided where I was taking this but there was no way in hell I was going to risk ending it so quickly.

The girl looked confused when I pulled away from her at first but then she looked angry, downright fuckin' enraged.

My God, she's beautiful when she's pissed.

To avert disaster, I pushed her away from me and back flush against the wall. Her eyes flashed dangerously but I just smirked at her. That only made them flash brighter but I effectively put an end to whatever she might have done to retaliate by bringing my hand around to cup her tight, luscious little ass and squeezed. Then I slid it down the back of her leg, hooking it behind her knee and lifting it to hitch around my hip. With a heated gaze, my unnecessary breathing picking up with hers, I dragged my fingers from the inside of her knee to her inner thigh, pausing just long enough to make her bite her lip and shift her hips in frustration. Using my other hand to hold her in place, I stroked the skin so near to where she needed me the most, teasing. I could feel her moist heat, so close to my hand, smell the strength of her arousal. It elicited another low growl from me and I couldn't hold back anymore. Pushing the fabric of her shorts and panties aside, I plunged my index finger inside her and pressed my thumb to her clit.

She froze, her eyes widening in the shock and fear of a girl who had never been touched like this before. It only lasted for a moment before those pretty brown eyes regained their lust-ridden haze, her head falling back against the brick wall, a murmured "fuck" spilling from her lips as she gave in to how I was making her feel. It was the sexiest fuckin' thing I'd ever seen or heard in my life but I couldn't focus on that now. I had to focus on what I now knew for certain. This girl was innocent. She'd never known pleasure at anyone else's hand, maybe not even her own. For all I knew, she'd never even been kissed properly, and I couldn't do it. I couldn't go through with my plan. What I had intended to do to her, to take from her, whether she wanted me to or not, wasn't mine to take no matter how much I wanted to, and she was too naïve to try and stop me. I hated her.

Then her hips bucked, my hold on them having loosened, and caused the hand that was touching her so intimately to flex. My finger curled forward, unintentionally finding her g-spot, my thumb pressing even harder into her clit and she cried out unintelligibly. All rational thought vanished and my instincts took over. I needed to make her shudder and moan, quiver and quake, at my hand. That was the only thought left in my head, the only thing that mattered to me.

Slowly, I started to move my finger, in and out, in and out, always curling it forward to hit that spot that drove her crazy, my thumb stroking her clit in lazy circles. She was so wet and hot and tight it made me ache. The ache in my groin was obvious; the one I couldn't explain was the ache in my chest.

The girl didn't like slow. She was writhing against me, moaning in pleasure, and cursing me for torturing her but I didn't allow any of those things to alter the speed of my sexy assault on her. Instinctively she swung her other leg up around my hip to try to get me to go faster, so I tucked my free arm under the backs of her thighs and pressed her harder against the wall. This changed the angle of penetration and forced my hand even deeper inside of her.

"Oh," she gasped in surprise and pleasure, sucking that full bottom lip between her teeth again and biting down. I wanted that lip between my teeth. Her breathing was damn near frantic now and mine was nearly as bad.

I hid my face in her neck, inhaling the sweet scent of her hair as I added another finger to her tight heat, finally picking up my pace and alternating between fast and slow swipes at her swollen nub. She continued writhing, moaning, and cursing, though for different reasons this time, and I was just about out of my mind with lust and something else I couldn't name. The warmth of her was seeping into my skin, not the electricity or the fire or the sparks that flew wherever we touched, but her human warmth. It heated me slowly, in a different way, until I almost felt human too.

Stupid things kept nearly slipping out of my mouth, like "you're beautiful" or "you're perfect," but I always caught myself. "I want you so fuckin' badly," I breathed instead, pressing soft kisses across her collarbone.

I stroked her faster, harder, but gentle all at the same time, her wetness dripping down my hand. Soon her inner muscles started to quiver, and I knew she was close. I was so delirious with this knowledge, it surprised me when her slim fingers gripped my chin and guided my face until my eyes met hers, the look in them serious and passionate.

"Take what you want," she said quietly, her tone firm but shy. As she said it, she reached between us and timidly ran her hand over my jean-covered erection.

I froze, sucking in a staccato breath. Her warm little fingers felt so damn good but not even they could erase the effect her words had had on me; they'd brought me back to my senses, reminded me why I'd wanted to put a stop to all this. She was a virgin.

How could I have ever thought any of this was a good idea, that my plan was solid and wouldn't come back to bite me in the ass? Yes, I'd been fuckin' crazy these past weeks trying to get a handle on my shit but I wasn't this guy! I wasn't Maria's attack dog anymore. I wasn't the monster who purposely set out to hurt people. I didn't want to be. Iwouldn't be.

Fuck!

"No," I growled, furious. How could she even say that to me? What the hell was she thinking? Some part of her had to know I was dangerous. What the fuck was wrong with her?

I was a bastard for stopping right as she was about to come but that's how it had to be, and it took all the will power I had to remove my hand from her perfect pussy. A little part of me, a vindictive part, was the tiniest bit satisfied - I'm not a monster but I'm not perfect either and my feelings for the girl hadn't changed. I still hated her and part of me felt that she deserved it for being so goddamn reckless.

I pried her legs off my hips, unglued myself from her torso and stepped back so I was half a foot away from her. Now that we weren't touching, I felt an odd sense of loss that I didn't understand.

The girl could tell I really meant to end whatever had been going on between us this time and she wasn't having it. In a move that was surprisingly quick and strong for a human, especially one as slight as she was, she pushed against me, hooking her foot behind my ankle and jerking, causing my body to spin. She moved smoothly with me, like we were dancing, and I just let what was happening happen. I was too surprised to do anything else. The next thing I knew, she had me pinned against the wall, her forearm pressed against my throat. This should have infuriated me but all it did was make me want her more.

"You think you can play games with me, Texas?" she spat, livid. Her desire still just as clear in her eyes as her fury was. It was sexy as hell.

Fuck me! I groaned. My fingers were aching to pull her against me but I wouldn't. My eyes were pleading as I looked at her. I'm tryin' to do the right thing here. Just let me do the right damn thing!

"I'm not playin' games with you," I protested, sounding completely plausible. No matter how plausible it sounded though, we both knew it was a bold-faced lie and a sudden rush of shame overtook me. I'd never wanted to be the kind of man who played games. I'd never wanted a lot of things and I'd promised myself that I'd never let those things happen to me again and also that I'd never let myself slip back into being a certain kind of man. I was breaking those promises.

"You pin me to a fucking wall, put your hands on me, then pull back just when things are getting good and now you're trying to tell me you're not playing games?" she hissed in disbelief, pressing her forearm into my throat hard enough to restrict my airway. It would have been uncomfortable if I actually needed air; at any rate, I had to pretend it was.

With another smooth motion, I flipped us so that she was pinned beneath me again, only this time I had her wrists stretched above her head in the strong grip of my left hand. It made her back arch so that her nipples were again pressed into my stone chest. I used my right hand to cup her breast, rolling one of those nipples between my thumb and forefinger until it pebbled under my ministrations. She sucked in a sharp breath.

I was playing a dangerous game. If I kept touching her, we would end up right back where we'd just been and I couldn't let that happen. If I felt her clench around my hand, heard her cry out for me in ecstasy, watched her face as she came, I would take her right there against this brick wall; and if I took her there was no guarantee I would be able to stop myself from sinking my teeth into her neck and draining her. She deserved better than that for her first time, better than me, and though I'd entertained the idea of killing her I'd never been serious about it. No matter how much I disliked her, she didn't deserve to die and I didn't want any more blood on my hands; but having her pressed up against me the way she was was so fuckin' intoxicating that I just couldn't seem to help myself. It had been so long since I'd felt this out of control.

I leaned in close to her, rolling her nipple again, our noses nearly touching, "Is this what you want, sugar?"

She glared at me, "I. Am. Not. Your. Sugar."

I gave her a smirk before I licked her neck, long and slow, my tongue brushing over the silver chain of the necklace she was always playing with. She whimpered and the fresh scent of her latest gush of arousal hit my nose. "You sure taste like it, sugar."

Walk away, Jasper. Let the girl go and walk away. You're tryin' to do the right thing remember? I was trying desperately to regain control, angry with myself for losing it in the first place. But you don't care, I reminded myself and then mentally shook my head. You don't have to care to do the right thing. It's called a moral code, dipshit.

Maybe during the Southern Wars when I'd literally been out of my mind, I'd been a sadistic jackass but when I was sane I was an honorable man. I didn't want to sully that and couldn't believe I'd been willing to compromise one of the only things I could pride myself on just to get back at this human. I not only hated her, I hated myself.

"Kiss me," the girl commanded, interrupting my internal musings.

Her voice was so authoritative I nearly gave in, the soldier in me reacting instinctively to that tone but I was Jasper fuckin' Whitlock, the Major, the motherfuckin' God of War. I didn't cave to the orders of little girls. I gave the orders. I was the one in charge. My eyes hardened and I scowled at her.

"Kiss me," the girl demanded again.

Her eyes were fiery with want. She really, truly wanted me. That had been the whole point of this but I hadn't really grasped what that would mean. I still didn't and now I was confused because she was looking at me … really looking at me, and the way she was looking at me threw me for a loop because it felt like she saw me, like she knew me and understood me in ways that no one ever had. That meant that if she wanted me, she wanted me, Jasper - stripped, raw, and aching. I'd been with a lot of women and none of them had ever looked at me the way she was looking at me right now. It struck me dumb for a second.

"Kiss me," she said again, her tone even instead of hard and demanding.

I want to. God, I want to. I had never wanted to kiss a woman so badly in my life; I'd never wanted to kiss a woman at all. Those words were on the tip of my tongue. Instead, I said, "No."

"Kiss me," she repeated, her eyes fierce.

Why was she so fuckin' frustrating? Why wouldn't she just give up? Why did she have to be so damn stubborn? I slammed her back into the wall, not hard enough to hurt her, but hard enough to get my point across. "No."

My body betrayed me, however, inching closer to hers, my lips hovering millimeters from her ripe pink ones. My eyes kept shooting back and forth from her brown ones to her lips, my tongue darting out to lick mine in anticipation but I wouldn't. I wouldn't give her what she wanted.

"Kiss me," the girl said. Her voice and eyes were soft this time and something in me broke.

I can't fight you anymore. I don't want to, and that was okay. I knew it would be because this wasn't about making her miserable anymore. It was about need but not the need to prove a point or the need to fuck her. I just needed her, which was ridiculous because I didn't need anyone. I didn't know what it meant or what to do with it, and I was sure I would hate myself and her for it later; but that was later. This was now.

I released her wrists from my grip and brought that hand down to the small of her back. I brushed my thumb of my other hand across her cheekbone before burying my fingers in her shiny brown hair like I'd been wanting to for so long. It was even softer and more silky than I'd imagined it would be. She shook her hands a couple times to get the feeling back in them, and then dragged them up my chest and around my neck, her fingers playing with the curls at the base of it. It felt good, so fuckin' good. I couldn't remember anything in my life ever feeling better. Her eyes fluttered shut, her lips parting ever so slightly.

My God, she's beautiful.

oOo

A/N: *blushes, covers face with hands, peeks out through fingers* So ... I've never written anything even vaguely lemony before. I guess you'll have to tell me how I did.

I guess Bella is not so unaffected by Jasper after all. ;)

What do you think about this turn of events? Any guesses about what will happen next? I'd love to hear! :)