Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I'm just playing with her characters. Also, I did not come up with Jasper as the God of War or of Peter 'just knowing shit'. Those ideas belongs to IdreamofEddy and I thank covenmama for telling me this.

A/N: Thank you to my beta Laurie Whitlock, my pre-readers AlwaysJASPERsLOVE, Shadman, and Shelljayz, my beloved sister. Thank you also to shirleypositive72.

Also, congrats to Laurie for her win in the Energize Awards for most inspirational beta. You deserve it girlie! :)

As always, I need to thank everyone who has read, favorited, followed, and reviewed. You all rock! :)

Who else likes that I named the place where Bella was created Fort Ares? Apt don't you think?

Now, it's time to find out what Bella thought of breakfast with the Cullens and the confrontation with Rosalie ...

Chapter 13

oOo

September 2080

BPOV

I'd acknowledged all of the Cullen children curtly and moved my attention to the food, trying to ignore the fact that Alice and Emmett had been seemingly upset by my lackluster response to their enthusiasm in meeting me. I'd been so hungry I'd gotten distracted again, not noticing that Mrs. Cullen had come up behind me until she put her hand on my back, and flinching as though I'd been burned. I hated that I reacted that way when people touched me, thought I should be stronger than to let my past get to me like that, but I genuinely loathed being touched. It was ironic really - throw a punch or a well-aimed kick at me and I didn't bat an eye; I knew how to take those, but anything else and I was that meek little girl that should have been afraid of someone like Emmett. Everyone needed physical affection from time to time, but I'd never really gotten that before and the skittishness about touching was a remnant of all the abuse I'd taken growing up. It wasn't something I was certain I would ever be able to shake but I didn't really see what I could do about it. The only touching I was really okay with was touching that I initiated and I rarely ever did that. I mean, who did I have to touch?

Mrs. Cullen had encouraged me to help myself to the food but there had been no way in hell that I was going touch any of it before any of them did, and eventually Dr. Cullen had figured that out. I'd waited until every last one of them had filled a plate before I'd filled one for myself and joined them in the dining room at that big ass table. I hadn't understood what Dr. and Mrs. Cullen had needed it for the night before but since I'd met their five children that mystery had been solved. There had been a free seat next to Emmett and another next to Jasper but I had taken neither of them, which had deeply disheartened Emmett, instead moving the chair at the foot of the table to askew so its back faced the corner of the room. When I sat, my back was to the two adjoining walls and wasn't left open to attack, and the closest means of escape—the patio door—was just to my left. It also left me in prime position to watch everyone. None of those were habits that would ever be broken.

As I'd eaten my breakfast, I'd continued my observation of each member of the Cullen family. My initial observations had been cursory at best and I was nothing if not thorough when it came to my safety. They had looked like the perfect, harmless Abercrombie too big Mormon or Catholic family but there had still been a sense of wrongness about them that I hadn't been able to shake. My instincts about that kind of thing were rarely amiss and I hadn't been able to ignore that. Maybe I should have abandoned my breakfast and just gotten the hell out of dodge but I was so fucking hungry and even if there was something seriously off about the lot of them, they'd been so nice. Nice was just … nice for once. I wasn't used to nice and I had wanted that just for a little while. If they got freaky on me, I would have taken care of it and then taken off but until I'd unequivocally proven that they were going to attempt to take me prisoner for the express purpose of cutting me up into little, little pieces to make a Bella stew, I'd decided to roll with the punches; so I'd kept my wits about me and watched them.

I'd already determined that the only threat Dr. and Mrs. Cullen posed to me was by making good on their warning to call the police. Rosalie had definitely presented herself as a threat but I hadn't been afraid of her. Still, that hadn't meant I was going to dismiss her. Edward hadn't been hostile the way Rosalie had been when Dr. Cullen had introduced us but he wasn't really open or friendly the way Emmett or his parents had been. I hadn't pegged him as a threat either but that hadn't meant he wasn't. Alice also hadn't stricken me as a threat but, yet again, I hadn't dismissed her as one. Of all of the Cullens, Jasper had most definitely been the one to keep the closest eye on. He'd seemed to have an almost military air about him. It had been in the way he'd carried himself and I hadn't liked that one damn bit but that hadn't stopped me from feeling drawn to him.

Of all of them, he had been the only one who'd seemed to notice my keen surveillance and he'd met my gaze head on when it fell on him, his eyes full of challenge. I didn't shy away from challenges; I hadn't been built that way and damn if the way his eyes smoldered with that silent challenge hadn't been hot as hell. Those golden orbs were mesmerizing but they were guarded. All of the Cullens' eyes had an age and depth to them that didn't match their appearance but Jasper's were filled with a sadness and a certain haunted quality that had made me both more intrigued by him and inspired a curious need to comfort him. I still haven't been able to figure out how, but he'd almost seemed to know what I'd been thinking and it had made him angry. I'd heard of eyes going dark with desire or anger but I had never lent it much credence. Now I had proof that it was true, I'd just never expected it to have been so literal because when I say his eyes went dark, I meant they turned black; but that thought had quickly slipped my mind because the strangest thing had happened then: I'd gotten lost in those eyes of his. The whole world had faded away and it was just the two of us. It only happened for a second but it left me in a daze. Thankfully, he'd seemed just as out of it but that only lasted for a second as well and I didn't know what the hell it meant. I'd never lost complete awareness of my surroundings before. It had thrown me for a loop and I hadn't liked it one fucking bit; but at the same time it had felt … I don't know. Then he'd cocked a brow at me in question, as if to ask, What the fuck are you staring at?

I'd just blinked and turned back to my food, knowing it wouldn't do me any good to even try to figure out what that had been. I was leaving soon and it wouldn't matter so I hadn't seen the point in bothering. Then twenty questions had started, I'd given answers as vague as I could make them, and left the whole thing with Jasper completely behind, as if it hadn't happened in the first place. The questions had gotten real old real fast but Emmett's and Alice's sadness at my refusal to cooperate with their quest to get to know me had unexpectedly tugged at my heartstrings, so I'd given in and thrown them a bone; just one bone but a bone nonetheless. It had been enough to appease them until Edward had mysteriously choked on his orange juice, rather hilariously spraying it all over Rosalie, and had to be excused from the table. Not long after that he had excused himself from the table and though my hearing was still off, I could have sworn I'd heard him laughing his ass off for God only knows what reason.

Breakfast had been over not long after that, during which I'd eaten a shitload of food. Despite this, it had only served to put a dent in my voracious post-hibernation appetite but I couldn't have eaten everything on the table without looking like the first-class freak that I was, and it would have made me sick anyway since going so long without food had caused my stomach to shrink. I'd cleaned up my own plate like I had the night before, leaving everyone else to deal with their own suspiciously full ones since I wasn't a fucking maid. I'd also helped put away the leftovers since all the pots, pans, bowls, and various other cooking utensils used to concoct that culinary masterpiece of a meal had pretty much been taken care of before I'd even come downstairs, and then headed toward the living room where most everyone had congregated but not actually entering it. I should have been preparing myself to leave but I had been curious. That had really been the first time I'd had a chance to be around a family in their home environment and I was wanting to observe more of their dynamic. I hadn't known if I would ever get another opportunity to see such a thing and thought I may as well take it. They hadn't yet attempted to make me into a Bella stew and I could still take off whenever. Plus, even though I'd made quite a bit of headway in restoring my energy reserves with all the food I'd eaten, I had still been tired so the smartest move I could have made was to conserve as much energy as I could before I headed out.

Alice, energetic, excitable little sprite that she was, hadn't been able to let me alone to observe them all in peace though. She'd wanted to bond, which had included an attempt at touching. I had tersely rebuffed said attempt, promptly receiving a puppy dog face that had managed to be both heartbreaking and formidable, as contradictory as those two things were. Now, I didn't break even under the most horrific torture – my trainers had seen to that, but damn if that face hadn't seriously threatened to shatter my resolve. The government really could have used that girl as an interrogator. Her success rate at getting people to break and provide us with valuable, accurate intelligence would have been sky high.

When Edward had come up behind me; his footsteps damn near soundless, it had raised the hairs on the back of my neck in alarm. Maybe my hearing wasn't up to par, but I had still sensed him and aside from myself, I had never come across anyone who could move that quietly. It had been yet another thing that screamed that the Cullens weren't normal, another thing that should have had me heading for the hills but even so I still hadn't been afraid of them. Maybe if I'd been an ordinary human I would have been but I wasn't, and I had still been confident that I could handle myself. Maybe that could also have been considered stupid but I had still just wanted nice for a while and as off as the Cullens had seemed, they were nice … mostly. Rosalie most definitely could not have been considered nice, the jury had still been out on Jasper, and Edward had been a pretty neutral entity, but the rest of them were or so I'd wanted to believe. I'd only ever met one other genuinely nice person and as I'd said before, I'd really just needed nice, especially then.

I'd felt incredibly stupid for leaving my back open to attack like that. It was something I knew better than to do, so I'd immediately amended that as soon as Edward had passed me. That had been another bad thing about being with the Cullens. I would have loved to blame my inattentiveness on my exhaustion, not that that wasn't a reprehensible excuse, but a small, very reluctant, part of me had to wonder if I had gotten sloppy because they'd been lulling me into some sort of false sense of security. It had been awful enough that I had not only found myself beginning to like Dr. and Mrs. Cullen but Emmett and Alice as well. Then there had been the whole freaky thing with Jasper but also that I'd continued to find little excuses not to leave. Perhaps, I'd been overreacting. Leaving my back vulnerable once wasn't too big a deal. My senses were damn near perfect and so were my reflexes even if I hadn't been at my best at the time. They were perfect when I was, but I still hadn't liked it one fucking bit. I couldn't afford to go soft or to care about anyone, which wasn't to say I didn't care about people in general. I wasn't a cold bitch but attachments made my life unbelievably difficult, and liking these people hadn't meant that I cared about them; especially not Jasper.

It shouldn't have surprised me when Edward pulled Alice into his arms in a distinctly non-fraternal fashion and pressed a sweet kiss to her forehead. It hadn't exactly been a stretch since Emmett and Rosalie were a couple but it still had. I didn't know much about families, adoptive or blood-related, but I had been certain that that wasn't normal protocol for blood-related ones and relatively so for adoptive ones. Dr. and Mrs. Cullen clearly ran a loose ship but they weren't my family so it hadn't been my business.

When Edward had told me it was pointless to resist Alice's puppy dog face, I'd gone ahead and agreed to what she'd wanted to do. I hadn't wanted to waste the time going back and forth but I had conditions. I would go along with it only if it didn't crossed any lines of mine that were absolutely, non-negotiably uncrossable. Thankfully, her idea of bonding had been to watch a movie. I hadn't been thrilled when she'd chosen a romance called The Notebook, a movie made decades before my time. Now, I had nothing against romance. Just because I'd been born and raised a soldier for the first twelve years of my life didn't mean I was butch, but stuff like that was really hard for me to watch, whether it was movies, witnessing the tender moment between Dr. and Mrs. Cullen the night before, seeing Emmett's clear devotion to Rosalie and, surprisingly, hers to him, or the way that Alice and Edward were with each other. It just made me uncomfortable and reminded me of things I'd rather not be reminded of.

While I'd found that irritating, it hadn't been the thing that really bothered me though. What had bothered me was who I'd ended up sitting next to. When I'd agreed to watch Alice's movie, she'd kind of herded me into the living room. I'd allowed it because, while I'd had to move my back away from the wall, my peripheral vision was stellar, allowing for a near 360° view, and no one had been in my immediate vicinity ... until I'd gotten close to the large white sofa. Alice had chosen to invade my personal space to such a degree that if I'd wanted to avoid touching her without coming across as the freak I was I had to sit down. The seat that I happened to take was right next to Jasper. I would have moved, I had wanted to, but before I could Alice had pushed Edward down next to me and taken a seat on his lap. All of the other Cullens had taken the rest of the seats so unless I'd wanted to sit on the floor; and I hadn't, I'd been stuck next to him.

Two inches - that's how far apart Jasper and I had been from each other for the duration of the movie. Those two inches had made me feel both the loneliest and most claustrophobic I had ever felt in my life and even lying here in this blasted morgue storage unit all these weeks later, as I thought back on that day I still couldn't wrap my head around it. There had been this weird energy that bridged the gap between his skin and mine, an energy completely foreign to me, and it had sparked such a strong desire to touch him that I'd had to find something to do with my hands just to keep myself from actually doing it. That something had been playing with the necklace I never took off and it did more for me than just keeping my hands busy; it gave me comfort and strength, enough comfort and strength to resist the pull toward him that I couldn't seem to shake but that pull hadn't been the only thing that had nearly driven me crazy. The scent of him was lush and tantalizing but just as confusing as everything else about him. He smelled of rich, sun-warmed leather, nutmeg, newly cut hay, and fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies with an undertone of sunshine, the scent of the air right before it rains, and crisp, red apples. I had never met anyone that smelled of so many things all at once. The combination was intoxicating and I'd wanted to lean into him, bury my nose in that seemingly soft honey blond hair of his and take a deep breath. Though playing with my necklace had succeeded in giving me the resolve and strength I'd needed both to keep from touching and sniffing him, I'd nearly broken it in my quest to distract myself.

When the movie was over 123 torturous minutes later, he'd jumped up from the couch so fast he was almost a blur. I hadn't been able to help thinking that maybe sitting next to me had bothered him just as much as sitting next to him had me, and the little stab of hurt that caused was surprising.

What the hell is this guy doing to me? I remember thinking, my confusion deepening.

I hadn't failed to notice that Jasper didn't leave the room though. Like me, he'd taken to watching everyone and his hawk-like awareness was something I'd picked up on at breakfast. He observed the ease with which Dr. and Mrs. Cullen seemed to exist in each other's presence, the way Alice's face was hidden in Edward's neck as she tried to recover from the heartbreak of the ending of the movie, Edward rubbing her back soothingly. Rosalie had been in a similar position with Emmett, tears shining in her eyes as she rested her head on his shoulder, Emmett pressing kisses into her hair and holding her hand tightly. Emmett, sweet lug that he was, had been a little choked up himself which had made my heart clench, but only slightly. Absently, I'd noted that their tears hadn't smelled salty like they should have, but sweet. Though ignoring details of any size went against my training, I hadn't paid it any mind since the off scent of tears seemed inconsequential in the grand scheme of things, and I had been too busy watching Jasper out of the corner of my eye to care much about it. He'd been looking at the two couples like he didn't understand them and I understood that.

Before I'd walked through the Cullens' door, all I had known about love was that it was supposed to exist. I'd never seen it before … not the real, true, pure kind anyway, or much of any other kind to be honest. Then I'd gotten a look at Dr. and Mrs. Cullen, and now I was seeing Emmett and Rosalie and Edward and Alice. There was no doubt in my mind that what those three couples had together was love personified, and that the bonds between the members of this family were love as well. It was just that there was a disconnect there for me. Only a few short hours ago, love had practically been a myth, something that only existed in movies like The Notebook, but looking at the couples and the family as a whole had opened my eyes. Love was real. It was a solid, tangible thing that appeared to come with a great deal of genuine companionship and deep-seated roots and it made my heart ache with realization - I didn't want to be alone. I'd never thought about it before, never allowed myself to, because it just couldn't be. I was nothing if not realistic and my reality was one of solitude. It always would be, and it had never bothered me before; at least, I never thought it had. Being around these people had wrenched open the door to whatever compartment in my brain I'd shoved that particular desire into, but now that that desire was roaming free there would be no shoving it back in. Despite my acceptance of my reality, knowing that this was something I wanted but could never have hurt like a son of a bitch, and in that moment I'd hated every single one of the Cullens for ripping open a wound I hadn't even known I had and rubbing salt in it.

The wound was still raw and aching when Mrs. Cullen returned from her trip upstairs, which I'd noticed was muffled. When I thought about it, my hearing had been off the whole time I'd been in the guest room, even more off than when I was in anywhere else in the house. It had to have been some sort of soundproofing but I couldn't for the life of me figure out what these people would need soundproofing for; that was another thing, however, that was none of my business.

After that, all I had wanted was to find some graceful way to slip away from this subtly fucked up family so I could go off and tend to my bruised heart, but I was frozen, still too stunned from my sudden insight. Because of this, I had failed to notice when I'd ceased to be a renegade asset of Project Apotheosis and become a part of Project Winter Barbie instead.

The boots and coat were beautiful just like the other clothes Mrs. Cullen had given me to wear; even the wool socks were, but I didn't want them. If I hadn't been hurting so damn badly from earlier maybe I wouldn't have been so infuriated by her meddling and outright refusal to acknowledge that I wanted nothing to do with any of it. Actually, that wasn't true at all. She had been hitting every nerve rooted in every sensitive subject that resonated within me, heightened by the painful Notebook revelation and the new awareness that it brought with it. She was, once again, acting like she was my mother, which made me furious and I now had to wonder if the reason that bothered me so much wasn't because I didn't want one but because I actually did. She was also, yet again, treating me like charity, something I hated almost as much as I hated Project Apotheosis. Suddenly, I hadn't cared that she was just trying to be kind. All I'd seen was red and I had completely lost it, going off on her in a way she had only partially deserved. Still, I hadn't been sorry for doing it and felt even less so when Dr. Cullen had looked at me with such genuine empathy after my little temper tantrum was through. All that had done was make me want to strangle him for his seemingly endless patience.

I had been furious with Mrs. Cullen but when Rosalie stepped forward and actually called me a charity case instead of just implying it, I'd been downright murderous. I had stood there, heart pounding with rage, breathing heavily, for quite a bit of time actually contemplating beating the bitch into a coma before I realized that was exactly what she had wanted. Well, I'm sure she hadn't actually wanted me to ruin that pretty face of hers but she had been deliberately baiting me with the intention of making me miserable and I wasn't going to bite.

Typically, I was a fairly even-tempered person, though my behavior over the last several hours would suggest otherwise. I could think through tough, stressful situations with a cool head and come up with strategies to get myself and others out of them. It was another thing I had been trained to do and though I loathed that I had the knowledge, I had to admit, pretty much all of it was damn useful. I had decided I was going to use that knowledge to turn the tables on her and revel in watching her swallow a bitter spoonful of her own medicine, but I had to think fast because the quicker I came back at her the more effective my blow would be. Thinking fast wasn't a problem for a girl with an IQ of 250 and considering how well-versed I was in battle strategy and finding weaknesses in my opponents, it wasn't difficult for me to dissect hers quickly. She was vain as evidenced by the times I'd caught her checking her reflection in the various mirrors in the house, and from her little spiel, she was possessive of the things she considered hers: clothes, shoes, and, if I was reading her correctly, Emmett. If I came up with the right plan, playing on those things would have been worth a hundred brutal bitch slaps and violent hair pulls though I would have much preferred a good Fight Club-esque brawl. The plan I came up with, and executed brilliantly I might add, had done exactly that.

Rosalie had been expecting me to stand there fuming or burst out crying perhaps; instead I let all the anger and tension go and had smirked at her cockily before stripping down to my, or should I say her, underwear, successfully drawing Emmett's stunned and slightly lustful attention. I had been created to be as aesthetically pleasing as possible, though I still haven't figured out what that had to do with being a good soldier; and while I knew I hadn't been much to look at right then considering what I'd been up to in the weeks before I'd met the Cullens, I still wasn't a bad looking chick, skinny or not. Despite the fact that Emmett was completely devoted to Rosalie, he was still a guy, and a teenage guy at that. It was pretty much a statistical impossibility that he wouldn't look at a nearly naked girl stood right in front of him and that he wouldn't have some sort of positive reaction to it. I'd been playing on that, gambling on it really, and that gamble had paid off. A little over-the-top acting and a seemingly successful attempt at flirting and I had succeeded in getting Rosalie back tenfold. She'd seriously wanted to kill me and there had been two extra cherries on top of that particular sundae. Dr. Cullen, ever-patient, unflappable Dr. Cullen had snapped at her and, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that Jasper had been staring at me, his gaze dark. That hadn't been unusual, of course. His sister and I had just caused a scene during which I'd taken off almost all the clothes I had been wearing - every single member of the family had been staring and he was a teenage guy, just like Emmett. His staring was an inevitability. I didn't like that kind of attention directed at me and had a feeling that would have been the case no matter what my origins, but I hadn't minded his eyes on me. I'd even liked it a little, which confused me ... badly.

I hadn't even tried to hide how smug I felt when Emmett had to physically drag Rosalie out of the house after Dr. Cullen demanded that she leave to cool off. My plan had been a roaring success and all I'd really wanted to do when it had been over and done with was put the clothes back on. Exhibitionism wasn't a hobby of mine, just something I'd used to make a point; but rushing around and scrambling to pull them over myself would have completely ruined that point and wrecked the image I'd created. I hadn't been about to do that and leave the door open for any of the others to start in on me. They had needed to be unequivocally aware of the fact that I would not take shit from anybody, so I'd had every intention of standing around in those skivvies with my hands on my hips, glaring savagely at all of them until they pissed themselves. Dr. Cullen, however, had then very politely requested that I put the clothes back on, and I had suddenly felt the need to comply. The need hadn't arisen because I was sorry for what I'd done or even from a compulsion to follow orders but he had been very gracious to me, if annoying and sanctimonious. Even so, I, unfortunately, liked the guy, and I hadn't wanted to be any more disrespectful than I already had been; therefore, I had gathered up the clothes and leisurely put them back on. I had to preserve the notion that I was still the one in control, after all.

Once I was covered up, Mrs. Cullen had sent Alice, Edward, and Jasper to their bedrooms and she and her husband had asked to speak with me. I had been wary about it but hadn't argued, not seeing the point, and preparing myself to defend what I had done. Surprisingly, they weren't angry about that. They apologized to me, which was something I most definitely had not been expecting. What they had wanted to talk about, however, had infuriated me far more than anything their blond bitch of a daughter could ever have done. They had asked me how to get in touch with my nonexistent parents and then threatened to call Child Protective Services when I refused. They couldn't have possibly known what kind of danger they were threatening to put me in, but the fact that they'd felt they could take it upon themselves to decide what was best for me beyond keeping me out of a storm was so damn maddening, pretentious, and frustrating! I'd felt so hurt, betrayed, and angry I couldn't see straight. I hadn't hated anyone that much in a long time and had let them know it before I left them behind, begrudgingly taking the boots, coat, and socks before I did.

oOo

A/N: Alright guys, I realize this was a little repetitive from chapter 7 but like I always say. I have a reason for everything I write. It is very important for all of you to understand how Bella thinks and why she reacts the way she does because it is essential to the development of the plot. :)

So what do you think of Bella's inner monologue? I would love to know!

Up next ... how she ends up in Louisville, some of her adventures in the weeks after she left the Cullens, and her reaction when Jasper shows up at The Finish Line.