Marissa coming to terms with things and a different take on marissa telling summer about alex being her girlfriend.

Disclaimer - i dont own any of the characters

This is an alex/marissa fic ,im pretty new to this and havnt seen much of the programme so you'll have to excuse any slip ups! Hope you enjoy and please review so ill know to continue! xxx

Marissa lay on her bed trying to ignore her phone which had been ringing for the past ten minutes but the caller never let it kick on to the answer machine.

The noise felt harsh to her ears. It wouldnt stop ringing.Alex words were playing in her head on a loop. ''then why does it matter what they think!'' Marissa eyes were red raw and stung like hell.The words stung like hell. It didnt matter what people thought. it shouldnt matter. 'im just being unreasonable, i wish i could tell her that i love her, that i want to spend the rest of my life with her and never leave her arms' but its not that simple marissa thought.How do i tell summer.I mean i dont care about what mom thinks shes a stupid bitch whos intent on ruining my life and everyone else, they dont matter.Nothing matters but summer.Shes my best friend and i need her to be there for me, i care about her . I want us to be like we've always been.

As these thoughts ran through her head, suffocating her brain, marissa tried to numb the pain by taking a large swig of vodka. Her face creased up and she stuck her tongue out, shook her head and cringed at the nasty taste that would soon remove her troubles and make everything okay. Well at least for a little while. And then she'd be back in the reality. Living a lie and hiding from the world like a recluse.

The answering machine beeped making marissa jump and drop the half empty bottle of vodka, leaving its contents to be soaked up by her duvet.

''hey marissa its alex i ...erm i just wanted to say that...look im sorry okay..i..i shouldn't have flipped out like that...but i guess what i wanted to say was that i... I love you marissa.. ''

Tears rolled down marissa cheeks as she fumbled for the phone and tried to grab it but it was too late alex had hung up.

''i love you marissa'' she'd said i love you. she loves me.she really loves me.Marissa blinked, wiped her tear filled eyes on her sleeve and laughed. Alex loves me.She smiled at the thought. 'i love you too alex' she whispered to the phone in her hands.

Alex's hands trembled nervously as she replaced the phone in its holster.'oh my god.what have i done.what if she doesnt love me.oh fuck.' She panicked and dragged her self over to the bathroom. Alex leaned over the sink ,turned on the cold tap and splashed the icy water all over her face till she was numb and her vision was blurred so that she couldnt see the scruffy adolescent punk staring back at her.

The water trickled down her face and ran onto the top marissa had turned pink in the wash. Alex watched the water soak into the tee and smiled remembering the day so vividly. It had been less than 24 hours since they had argued yet to Alex it felt like an eternity. Like her beating heart had been ripped from chest and shredded into thousands of pieces. She glared into the mirror at her reflection which in turn glared back at her. Scowling Alex flicked the light switch off, walked sluggishly across the room and climbed in to bed. She had of course no intention of going to bed, as thoughts of marissa crowded her head she wouldn't be able to doze off any time soon.

Marissa rolled over and looked at the clock on her bedside table. The display said that it was 7:30 am. She groaned at the throbbing pain that consumed her head and defiantley pulled herself out from the warmth of the covers. As she lowered her feet to the floor marissa felt them land on something cold and hard. Then a loud crunch of glass fully awoke her. Marissa winced as a shard of glass penetrated the soft skin of her foot and she rapidly withdrew it from the mass of broken glass that cluttered her rug. Realising it was the vodka bottle marissa felt a stream of guilt seep through her. 'you've got to stop this. look at yourself. your pathetic. alex deserves better than this. alex...' marissa recalled the message she has recieved the previous evening. 'i can't believe how selfish you are.drowning away your sorrows.if you want your girl go get her' marissa scolded herself. Rather than spending the rest of the morning wallowing in self pity she decided that she would definatley ring alex despite the fact that she presumed alex would want nothing more to do with her after the way she had distanced herself from her in the corridor.

The sun poured in like butterscotch through the gap in alex's curtains creating a rainbow on the wall. Blue, red, green and gold welcoming the new day. Alex felt a smooth hand stroking her arm.

''mmm marissa i like it when you do that.'' alex whispered dreamily

''Sorry to burst your bubble hun but its me jodie''

Alex immediatley awoke and sat bolt upright turning her attention fully towards her company. Oh my god shit what have i done. I so don't remember bringing jodie back last night. no i wouldn't. i can't have done i wouldn't do that to marissa. Panick stricken, alex raced through her mind trying to remember something. anything.

Jodie saw the look of fear on alex's face and interpreted it as being an unwelcome guest.

''your wondering what i'm doing here'' she stated

''yeah''

''don't worry we didn't sleep togther, although that would have been nice...''

''you wish''

''i know i do''

''whatever. what are you doing here then?''

''can't a girl visit her girlfriend without being under suspicion!''

''ex-girlfriend and no she can't not when its you jodie''

''oh yeah your with that cooper girl now arent ya... you know you'll never have it as good as me'' jodie teased playfully

Alex twitched at the mention of the name ''She has a name you know, she's called marissa and actually i have it better''

''ooo get you, somebodys fallen hard for her''

''yeah shes amazing.. hey anyway will you quit changing the subject tell me whats going on!''

''well it's nearly 11 and you said you'd meet me down at the beach so we could go get some surfing done, and you didn't show so i came here and your apartment was open so i invited myself in''

''oh my god im so sorry i forgot''

''yeah id noticed''

''ill make it up to you''

''sure''

''honest i promise''

''ive heard that one before''

''no seriously i will!''

''okay hun well i might see you at the bait shop later on''

''oh are you going now''

''yeah ive got ladies to see'' jodie smirked

''have fun''

''i will, youll have to introduce me to cooper sometime, seeing as though your so taken with her''

''marissa. and yeah maybe i will. i think you'll like her''

''im sure i will''

''seeya''

And with that jodie left as rapidly as she had arrived. Alex let out a huge sigh of relief wondering why she had doubted herself. Realising that she and marissa hadn't yet reconciled alex felt a wave of dissapointment wash over herself. 'She probably hates me right now'.

Marissa sat by the phone bringing up the courage to call alex. She tapped in the number but slammed it down before it had chance to ring. ' no what am i doing i can't' ' she probably hates me right now'