Marissa lay flat on her back on the floor. Arms straight by her sides and her eyes closed deep in concentration, or rather lack of concentration well at least she wasn't supposed to be concentrating. Infact she was supposed to be doing the opposite. Marissa groaned at her inability to remove all thoughts from her mind. She was trying so hard to do it which made her think about trying to remove her thoughts and then she realised that she was thinking and that this whole meditation lark wasnt working.
'This isn't going to work! you can't just make her vanish from your thoughts.you have to call her! she told you she loves you for christs sake!'
Marissa stood up with determination, after regaining her balance she caught sight of her reflection in the dressing table mirror. She gazed at the state her hair was in.
It was all fuzzed up and bits were hanging out of the bobble. Remembering how Alex always told her that she looked beautiful even when her hair was a scruffy mess, she brushed her hair till it was sleek and shiny once again, deciding against Alex's enthusiasm.
Picking up her cell from amidst the hair accesories and jewelry on her desk marissa noticed she had recieved a missed call from Summer. Knowing Summer would most likely be enquiring into why she hadn't been attending school for the past few days Marissa reluctantly opted to listen to the message.
''Hey Marissa its me Sum, missed you today, I know your probably fine and you wont want me fussing like this but im just worried, you know you can talk to me. oh and by the way Ryans gone all like manic depressive. I think he really misses you ya know Marissa. well any way I know somethings playing on your mind, and whatever it is it must be pretty important for you to have missed out on jello and ice cream thursday lunch. so I reckon you should share. well ill see you tomorow hopefully. oh and if you dont show ill come round there and personally drag you from that house!'' The phone beeped, indicating the end of the message.
Marissa knew summer meant well but sometimes she wished her friend would just leave her to it.And why did she insist on mentioning ryan, couldn't she just realise that Marissa was so totally over him. 'At least she cares about me i guess. I wish i could tell her how i feel. Its killing me not being able to just talk about it freely to her. But she just wouldn't understand' Marissa smiled absent mindedly at the photo of sum and her taken last year at the beach. Both girls were smiling happily, arms linked and having a great time. She wished it could be like old times but she had been growing apart from summer ever since she met alex, she didn't want it to happen, but it was inevitable. It wasn't as though Alex was replacing summer. They were two very different people and marissa loved them both. Summer was her best friend but Alex was more than that, Alex was her girlfriend, her lover, a part of herself. 'I least i hope so' she whispered to her self. She hadn't been spending as much time with summer so that she could spend more time with Alex. She couldn't bare to be apart from Alex, without her she felt incomplete.This had caused Summer to become extremely suspicious and envious. The other day she said ''God coop the amount of time you spend with that Alex anyone would think you loved the girl.'' To this comment Marissa kept her head down and mumbled something incoherenty. Summer shook it off and continued with '' I hope she isn't stealing my position as best friend and confidant'' and Marissa replied '' noone could do that Sum, your the only one for the job'' The conversation continued with friendly chatter, gossip and some discussion of shopping, the topic of Alex was brushed away and they hadn't spoke about her since. ' i'd better call her back, she'll only start making presumptions again if i don't. not that i don't want her to know. it's just I want to tell her in person.'
The phone kept on ringing and marissa was on the verge of hanging up when a breathless summer picked up.
''Hey riss...'' a long pause and the sound of heavy breathing in the background '' what did you want?''
''such a friendly welcome''
''sorry, kind of busy, i'll call you back later if you want?''
''oh no it doesn't matter, i was just er calling to let you know that im fine''
''oh yeah, you sure? cause i'll come over right now if you're not!''
''nah im good, you go get on with whatever it is you were occupied with''
'' IT is seth'' summer laughed cheekily
''oh god, nice, some great imagery now''
''ew gross dont think about it''
''you started it''
''yeah well im going back to it now''
''good''
''well im glad your okay''
''im glad your not worried anymore''
''no i am worried, see, worried, i just, its just im a bit preoccupied''
'' i can't see you sum, and yeah id noticed''
'' okay well i'll see you at school tomorow okay''
''yeah''
''i will see you wont i?''
''yes sum, wouldn't miss it for the world''
''stop being sarcastic, im trying to be serious here''
''you serious?''
''Yeah whats so wrong with that''
''nothing , its just er unusual''
''yeah well i just care about you, and i don't want my best friend to be on her own and depressed if i can help it''
''im not depressed''
''well stop being all mopey then''
''i will, ive just had some things to think about recently''
''i know''
''you do?'' marissa questioned nervously
''i mean i can tell by the way you've been acting''
''yeah well im sorry ive been so weird, im okay now''
''hope so, ryan eh?'' summer asked causing marissa to flinch and frown helplessly at the mention of his name, if only she knew what was really going on
'' yeah well i'll leave you and seth to it''
''okay seeya riss''
''byeee''
Marissa pondered on wether to call alex or not for a split second before replacing the phone in its holster and gazing out of the window as the rain drops pattered on the glass.' This isnt going to work on the phone. I've got to tell her in person' She debated with herself whilst frowning at the rain which was now coming down quick and heavy. Darkness was rapidly approaching and there was an icy chill in the air but despite this marissa left her house without so much as a coat and set off walking briskly for alex's apartment.
