DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER, BUT I DO OWN THE PLOT SO GET OVER IT!

AUTHOR'S NOTE: THIS STORY TAKES PLACE IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE, DURING THE GRAVEYARD SCENE WITH HARRY AND VOLDEMORT. ON WITH THE STORY NOW!

Harry was lying on the ground, his wand ten feet away. Voldemort was pointing his wand at Harry.

"I'm going to kill you now Harry." Voldemort said. Harry dropped the scared look that was playing on his face.

"What kind of idiot tells their victims that they're going to kill them? Ha! I'm ready for you now!" Harry said. He jumped up from the ground and started doing moves from the Matrix. Voldemort stared at Harry like he was crazy.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"I'm doing moves from the Matrix." Harry said, still performing the moves.

"What's that?" Voldemort asked. Harry stopped doing the moves.

"Haven't you ever seen the Matrix?" Harry asked.

"No." He said.

"How about Too Fast, Too Furious?" He asked again.

"No." Voldemort said.

"Pitch Black?"

"No."

"Bob the Builder?"

"No."

"Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled Peppers." Harry said fast.

"Sally Sells Sea Shells by the Sea Sore." Voldemort caught on quick.

"How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?" Harry said. There was a moment of silence. Then-

"AVADA KADAVRA!" Voldemort screamed. The spell hit Harry square in the chest. Harry fell to his knees.

"OHH! AHH! OWW! OH! I'M DYING! I'M DYING!" Harry screamed in pain, clutching at his chest. Voldemort just stood there, watching Harry die dramatically.

30 MINUTES LATER

"OH! THE PAIN! THE AGNOY! I CAN'T BARE IT! I CAN'T-"

"Oh will you just die already!" Voldemort screamed. Harry stopped pretending to die.

"I'm not supposed to die." Harry said.

"And why not?" Voldemort asked, rubbing his temples.

"Because I'm the main character. Honestly. Don't you read the books? It's called Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Not Tom Riddle and the goblet of Fire." Harry said. Voldemort was in deep thought, which was never a good thing.

"Then how am I supposed to defeat you?" Voldemort asked.

"We can have a rap off." Harry said.

"Fine!" Voldemort waved his wand, Death Eater started to appear everywhere.

"Yes my lord?" A random Death Eater said.

"Me and Potter are going to have a rap off." Voldemort said.

"What the hell is a rap off?" Lucius asked.

"It's when two people just rhyme a few words together. All you guys have to do is tells us who's better. And don't pick Voldemort just because he might kill you. Oh, and someone will have to do the beat boxing. You do know what that is, don't you?" Harry asked.

"Yes. As a matter of fact we do." Lucius and the other death eaters started doing the beat boxing. Harry waved his wand and a microphone appeared. He handed it to Voldemort.

"You go first." He said.

"My skin is white But my eyes are red I like to put cool whip

On my wonder bread."

The death eaters all clapped for Voldemort. He threw the microphone to Harry, who caught it.

"You hate muggles

But your father's one

Didn't even know

That you're his son

All the death eaters, "OHH! VOLDY GOT DISSED! VOLDY GOT DISSED!" Voldemort turned around and looked at the death eaters.

"Whose side are you on?" He yelled at them. All of them turned around, whistling. Voldemort grabbed the mic.

I killed your mom I killed your dad

Voldemort trailed off, thinking of a rhyme. Harry stood there, his arms crossed over his chest, a big smile on his face.

"Oh this is so stupid and unfair! You've done this before!" Voldemort yelled.

"Fine. How about a dance off?" Harry said.

"Now that I can do. I use to be Lord of the Dance." Voldemort said proudly. Harry looked confused.

"Isn't that Irish step dancing?" Harry asked.

"Yeah so? What's your point?" Voldemort said.

"You're British." Harry said.

"That's none of your business. That's get this dance off over with."