Gilmore Girls

These Things I Know

A/N: Boy, am I on a roll or what? I'll just have you know that I have a million different story ideas and one-shot ideas that have probably already been done or will be by the time I finish this but I'm giving them up to work on this. Happy reading! Genevra.

Summary: You might finally have what you thought you always wanted but the truth is this- you don't know what you've got 'til its gone.

Disclaimer: I do not own nor am I affiliated with Gilmore Girls in anyway.


Chapter Nine: Go


"You were here all night, weren't you?" he asked.

"I wasn't with him all night," she told him honestly.

"Right," he replied, settling in for a long chat. "I believe you, love. Really."

-

"Good morning, sunshine," Finn called, flinging open the door. He saw Logan gingerly finishing his breakfast but he found the room suspiciously free of Rory. She had done a damn good job covering up the fact she was ever there. Colin and Stephanie swept in behind Finn, just as he was handing Logan one of the flower's from Rory's box. "How's our golden child this morning?"

"Sore," Logan answered, grimacing as Finn punched his shoulder. "Ouch."

"Baby," Colin teased, punching his other shoulder.

"I hate you," Logan moaned. He smiled as Stephanie kissed his cheek. "Her, I love."

"I'm flattered, Loges, but you're about nine months too late," she joked, as Colin put a protective arm around her. "Anyway, how are you feeling?"

"I already told you. Sore," he snapped. The others exchanged glances.

"Someone wake up on the wrong side of the bed?" Colin asked. Logan looked up at Finn who was following his every move.

"Ace was here."

"Yeah, mate. We know," Finn replied.

"All night, in fact," Logan continued. "She only left six times. Four times when they took my vitals and twice to go to the bathroom. And she managed to order me flowers. I mean, I would have known she was here even if I hadn't of woken up and found her asleep next to me. The room just felt different. I could feel her, you know? I could smell her. Knowing her, she's probably still here."

"She left Dean," Stephanie blurted out, unable to control herself. Finn and Colin groaned but she continued anyway. "It was before. I mean, she left Dean before she found out about the accident. It was just freakily perfect timing."

"Is this true?" he asked.

"Yeah. Actually, she rang me on the way to her mother's," Finn admitted. "Right after she left."

"Why?" Logan asked.

"Because she just knew," Stephanie replied. "You guys practically read each other's minds. It's disgusting yet unbelievably sweet."

"Have you any of you seen her this morning?" he asked.

"I have," Finn replied. "We had coffee together. Well, she had coffee. I just sat there."

"Surprise, surprise," Colin said, rolling his eyes.

"She wanted me to make sure you knew that she'd left Dean first. So that you'd know it was her own choice and not obligation," Finn added.

"I think it's better you had the accident," Colin said, wisely. The others gaped at him in surprise but he was unswayed. "Think about it seriously. If you had gotten there and Rory wasn't there, you would have wanted to fight Carpenter Boy and both of you probably would have be in worse shape right now not to mention the fact that Rory would hate either one or both of you. Actually, she would have hated you because you would have killed him because even though Ror chose to leave, she didn't make the decision herself. He helped her. He tricked her when he told her he loved her even though he didn't. Believe me, we all know you don't mess with Logan's girl. You would have beaten him down."

"The boy has a point," Finn agreed.

"I'm so proud of you," Stephanie beamed, kissing his cheek. She turned to the boys and smiled. "I didn't even tell him that. He came up with it all by himself."

"Is she going to come and see me?" Logan asked. Everyone turned to look at him and he sighed. "Yes, Colin's right. I would have beaten him to a bloody pulp and he would have deserved it but Rory doesn't deserve to get away scot-free either."

"She's the only one who's actually going to get punished and that isn't fair," Stephanie said, spouting her female wisdom. The guys looked at her skeptically. "Think about it. Dean doesn't want her and he doesn't have her so he's fine. He can go off and steal someone else's girl now and the ball's in your court now Logan and we know you and what you can do and we know you'll make her pay so really, she's the only one getting punished."

"Are you saying I should beat up her ex?" Logan asked.

"No. I'm saying play nice," Stephanie warned. "I mean it."

"I'm not going to hurt her," Logan snapped defensively. "But I'm not going to make it easy for her. I love her and I want everything to work out. Now answer me, is my wife coming to see me while I'm bright-eyed and awake?"

"I don't think so, mate," Finn replied. "I think she's just going to wait around until the release forms are ready and sign them."

"Couldn't one of you have done that?" he asked.

"The hospital has some new policy," Colin explained. "Apparently, only family is allowed to sign patients out unless there are extreme circumstances. We tried to tell explain that not only are these extreme circumstances but that we are your family. I mean, Honor was even here last night but she had to leave so they insisted on Rory."

There was a long pause as they listened to the going's on outside in the hallway. Finn was standing before Logan even opened his mouth.

"I'll be right back," he said in a knowing tone.

"Where are you going?" Stephanie asked innocently.

"You know where I'm going, doll," he sighed. "To get Reporter Girl. Right, Logan? But before I do, I want you to promise to be nice."

"Finn…"

"Logie…"

"I hate it when you call me that."

-

He found her on the roof this time. The cold air made her cheeks flushed and her nose red. All in all, it was a look that suited her.

"You'd make a cute snow bunny," he said, taking one of the cups of coffee she had settled near her.

"Thanks, I think," she smiled.

"So maybe you didn't stay with him all night," he started.

"Maybe I didn't," she replied.

"Let me guess. You left the room four times when they took Logan's vitals and twice to presumably go the bathroom. How close am I?"

"As if you were there," she murmured, looking at him strangely. He could almost hear the wheels ticking around her brain. "You don't mean…"

"Yes, I mean," Finn laughed. "He knew you were there the whole time."

"Was he angry?" she asked, refusing to look at Finn. "I understand if he was."

"He wasn't angry, love," Finn replied. "He was surprised but he wasn't angry."

"Good. That's good," she mused.

"He knows," Finn answered before the question could be asked. Rory finally lifted her eyes to him but she wasn't surprised. "And yes, we all told him you'd left Dean before you heard about the accident. Don't look so surprised. I can keep a promise, love."

"Oh," she said, staring into the lid of her coffee cup.

"He wants to see you, love."

She lifted the coffee cup to her mouth and tilted her head back. She sighed angrily and glared at Finn.

"You took the full one," she said and Finn smiled. This was going to be okay.

-

Finn knocked on the door softly to alert everyone to his and Rory's presence. He looked at Rory for confirmation before he thrust her into the spotlight. She swallowed hard, twice, and was breathing heavily but she looked at him with resilient and determined eyes. He opened the door and stood aside leaving Rory in the middle of the doorway. Her eyes met Logan's immediately and she kept her gaze on him as she took three steps into the room, towards the end of the bed. His expression was unreadable as Finn stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. Rory tore her eyes away as Finn touched the small of her back and guided her to the chair she had spent the night in.

"Hey," she addressed Logan, her voice shaky and uncertain.

"Hey yourself, Ace," he replied. Again, his voice and expression were inscrutable. She frowned slightly and swallowed again.

"How're you… How's your head?" she asked. The exchange was painful to watch and painful to experience. He was giving her nothing to work with.

"Been better," he shrugged. "You sleep well last night?"

"Sure," she replied. She closed her eyes and inhaled. She kept her eyes shut while she talked. "Why don't you just say what you have to say and get it over with?"

The room held it's collective breath. He surprised them all by putting a hand on her face, cupping her chin. Her eyes flung open at the contact and she felt a pit open up in her stomach but she didn't move. Without talking, Colin, Finn and Stephanie gathered their things and quietly left the room. Rory managed to bite back a laugh when she heard Finn whoop in the hallway. Logan's thumb moved over her mouth and she fought the impulse to lick her lips. Her eyes fell shut and when she opened them, her eyes shone with tears.

"I'm sick of crying," she half-whimpered, half-laughed, fracturing the silence.

"Then don't," Logan replied. He heard a sharp intake of breath and suddenly, Rory's face was buried in his neck. He felt the wet tears on his neck and the bed shaking as she shuddered.

"I can't help it. I feel so bad all of the time," she wept. "I feel so stupid. I hate myself."

"I'm not too fond of you either, at the moment," he murmured, leaning down to kiss her soft, glossy hair. His fingers absentmindedly stroked her hair.

"Do you hate me?" she whispered. "I know I deserve it but please say you don't hate me. I don't think I could handle that."

"I don't hate you. You're still my Ace and you always will be."

"I'm so sorry, Logan," she said, looking up at him. Her face was tear-stained but she was beautiful and he knew he would never love anyone else quite so much. "I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't want to hurt anybody."

"I know," he replied.

"I just thought that," she started.

"You just thought what?" he asked.

"I thought that you would get bored with me," she admitted. "That you would stop loving me because you were so used to having all those other girls. I was naïve and stupid but I thought I was doing the right thing. I didn't think I was hurting you. I just thought I was making the inevitable come sooner."

"Rory, there hasn't been anyone else since you," he said.

"We both know that isn't strictly true," she sighed. "We did go on a break once."

"There was no one serious," he sighed. "I don't know why you thought that."

"I thought I didn't love you anymore," she said. "I thought that if I could see Dean and pretend I had these feelings, it meant I didn't love you and I didn't deserve you if I didn't love you but I was lying to myself. I love you, Logan. I love you more than anyone should love a person but I know that I've hurt you and that I will have to work so hard to make it up to you but I want to try. I want to be with you. Nobody else. Just you."

"Forgive me for being rude but I've heard that one before," he remarked.

"I know," she replied, trying not to appear stung. "But please tell me we can try. Tell me you'll let me make it up to you."

"I don't know."

"It's not going to be easy but please," she pleaded. "Please. I'm begging you, Logan. Don't throw this away. We have this chance to be happy again. We have this chance to be us again."

"I just don't think I can," he answered. "Not just yet. I need more time."

"Do you love me, Logan?" she asked, her voice cracking. He had tears in his own eyes but he would not let them fall.

"What does that have to do with anything?" he asked. "Love?"

"Do you love me?"

"Yes, I love you," he snapped. "Of course I love you. I never once stopped loving you. Not for a second."

"Then why can't we get over this?" she asked.

"Because like you said, it's going to take time. You hurt me, Rory. You hurt me badly and I'm not ashamed to admit it," he said. "I promise you, in the future, this will all be okay but right now, I need you to sign me out of this hospital and then leave me alone."

"You don't mean that," she cried.

"Yes, I do," he said. "We need this. We need more time to heal."

"But what am I going to do?" she asked. "I can't stay with my mother forever. I don't want too. I want to be with you."

"Go to New York," he suggested. "Work at the Times for a little while. It'll all workout. You'll see."

"Logan," she tried.

"Ace," he said, holding up a hand. "Stop. I can't do this and I don't want too. Please just go to New York. It'll be better for both of us."

"Fine," she said, standing up. "Fine. I'll go to New York if that's what you want."

"It's what I want," he said, the tone of his voice betraying him. They stared at each other but he did not back down. She picked up her bag and swept out of the room.

"I guess that didn't go so well," Colin remarked, watching her sweep through the floor and disappear into the bathroom.

"I guess you're right," Finn replied.