A/N: Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer, but her characters are fun to play with so I'm making them do my bidding for the foreseeable future. Jasper as the God of War and Peter 'just knowing shit' are ideas that belong to IDreamofEddy. I do own the plot and original characters of Longing though.
Thank you to my wonderful beta and friend, Laurie Whitlock, my sister, beta/pre-reader, Shelljayz, and my pre-reader, Shadman.
I cannot even tell all of you that have followed, favorited, and reviewed thank you enough. I generally do my best to respond to all the reviews I get but this week wasn't the best week ever, and it just didn't happen. If I get a chance, I'll make up for it this week but there's a possibility that this week will suck exponentially more than last week did, so if it doesn't happen I apologize. Your reviews still mean the world to me.
As I'm sure you've noticed, I am now posting the outtakes here instead of separately. I didn't want to but no one is reading them and they are important, so I had to make a concession. As I mentioned in the A/N in the outtake, I will never post an outtake in place of a chapter that moves the plot forward. All outtakes that are meant to go with a chapter will be posted concurrently.
Now shall we see if chaos ensued after Carlisle made his little proclamation?
Chapter 22
oOo
September 2080
"I'm sorry," Rosalie said, incredulously, her eyebrows raised, "it sounded like you just said you wanted the human to stay with us."
Carlisle observed his daughter evenly, wishing, not for the first time, that she didn't feel the need to make everything difficult. He was perfectly aware of how much progress she had made on many personal fronts, and he was immeasurably proud of her for that but in situations like these she just couldn't seem to think before she reacted.
Storm needed a home. That was the bottom line and after the events of Louisville, Carlisle didn't trust anyone else to take proper care of her. He wouldn't be able to explain all of his reasons for wanting their home to be hers, and he didn't particularly like that. He hated keeping things from his family but in this case, much of his reasoning was steeped in doctor-patient confidentiality. He did not have a problem adhering to that part of the oath he had taken as a medical doctor, but he still felt a sense of wrongness about the other things he had kept to himself. He hadn't even told Peter what had gone down in Louisville, which was even more of an offense to Carlisle since Peter was the one who had sent him there. He had allowed the younger vampire to believe his hunch had been off base, which had been easy to do since there had been no "wildfire," but that didn't make it fair. Peter had saved Storm's life and Carlisle truly believed he deserved to know of the good he'd done, but in the end he had chosen to protect Storm and her privacy since, at the time, he believed she had died and there had been nothing else he could do for her. That didn't make it right and it hadn't set well with him, but now that he knew she was alive, there wasn't anything he could say.
Either way, Carlisle had to choose his words carefully and keep tight control over his emotions. He couldn't have Jasper asking questions. Well, he would be telling the truth, just not the reasons for it. Hopefully that would successfully cloak any deceit that might weave itself into his emotions.
"Her name is Storm and that is precisely what I said," Carlisle said in the tone he had perfected so long ago. It was a mixture of calm, patience, confidence, authority, interest, respect, and mindfulness. He had found, over the years, that most people responded best to those things, especially in combination. Communication was important. Knowing how to communicate effectively and appropriately in any given situation was even more so.
Carlisle knew there were several other members of the family who wished to give their opinions on the matter at hand. Rosalie, however, was not quite ready to relinquish her control over the conversation.
"And when you say 'stay' you mean what exactly? A couple days? A week? Two?"
Carlisle moved his eyes from Rosalie's to everyone else's, making sure to meet each of their gazes for two seconds apiece. It was his way of letting them all know that his answer was for all of them and that he wanted to know what they thought of what he was about to propose. "I mean," he clarified, "I want her to live here with us. Permanently."
Carlisle didn't fail to notice how overjoyed Esme looked at this prospect. Alice and Emmett seemed excited as well but that did not surprise him. Of all of his family members, the three of them, as well as himself, had been the most receptive to Storm. He had not expected to obtain Rosalie's blessing, and Edward and Jasper had never seemed to have an opinion one way or the other. As for Peter and Charlotte, they had only met Storm a few minutes ago, so he really had no idea what their opinion on the prospect of living with a human might be; particularly considering that they had just made the switch to the animal blood diet. They had been adjusting remarkably well to it, well enough to attend Forks High School, but Carlisle suspected their success had a lot to do with their determination to remain by Jasper's side.
"Do you really mean that, darling?" Esme asked, her voice choked with emotion and her expression hopeful.
Carlisle smiled at her tenderly. "I do, sweetheart."
Esme's smile was brighter than he'd seen in a long time, her eyes shining. It made him unbelievably happy to see his mate that way. It was nice to feel happy at all after the last weeks of grief and depression. Alice and Emmett got more excited when he confirmed the authenticity of his intentions. It was clear that Emmett's enthusiasm annoyed Rosalie. Her posture and her arms crossed over her chest said it all. Of course, she was alternating the direction of her irritation and disbelief both at her mate and at him. It was obvious that Edward was supportive of Alice's eagerness to accept Storm as a housemate, holding her hand and smiling fondly at her. Carlisle knew him well enough to know that despite that support, his oldest son's own feelings on the idea were mixed. Jasper's face was unreadable, an expression not unusual for him, and he wasn't projecting so it was impossible to tell what was going through his head. Peter and Charlotte just looked curious and open to discussion.
"Carlisle," Edward spoke up, "I'm not sure I understand what's changed. When Storm was here last, you made it very clear we wouldn't be entertaining her for more than a day or two because of what we are. We're still vampires, so what makes now any different than before?"
Carlisle thought about this for a moment, trying to collect his thoughts and find the right words. If he didn't express himself well now, he feared he would lose his shot at convincing his family to take Storm in. When he finally spoke, his voice was passionate, compassionate, reasonable, and full of sadness, "Storm needs a home. I'm not sure if she will admit to that or be willing to accept help now anymore than she would before. She's stubborn and self-sufficient, and I think it's been awhile since she has had anyone she can depend on. She doesn't like the idea of foster homes and, to be honest, neither do I. If we could even convince her to consider one in the first place, there are those that are good and those that aren't. If we could, which is doubtful, I don't like the odds that she might end up in a bad one. I have no idea what her story is but there is no disputing that something in her life has hardened her and made her distrustful. I don't want anything more to happen to her that might reinforce those feelings of distrust and her lack of faith in people in general. We may be vampires, and we all know there are certain dangers due to that; but at least with us, I know she will be well taken care of and living in a loving environment. All kids, all people, deserve to have that. I want to give that to her. I want us to give that to her."
Everyone was silent for a moment, contemplative. Carlisle was right in this, in everything he had said, and even if they didn't agree with all of it, the last parts were indisputably true with the rare exception. There was no arguing with it. Even Rosalie couldn't come up with something suitable to nullify his point.
"Why do you care so much, Carlisle?" Rose asked, genuinely curious. There was still anger, disbelief, and irritation in her tone but he could hear that she was trying to understand.
Carlisle eyed her speculatively. "I can't give you a definitive reason for it Rose. I just do and have from the moment your mother and I met her."
Carlisle could tell his answer hadn't made a difference. In fact, it seemed as though it had made things worse. Rose's expression darkened and she pressed her lips into a thin line briefly before saying, "And a random connection to a human is worth risking the safety of our family?"
Carlisle scowled. If there was one thing he would never do, it was put the people he loved at risk. It infuriated him that Rosalie would suggest otherwise and he wanted to snap at her, yell and scream, demand how she could ever say such a thing. He took a deep breath instead. She was angry. He had caught her off guard and he knew under normal circumstances she would never have said it and so he had to be patient with her. He forced his lips into an expression that was understanding and open, and his tone to mimic it. His job had made him an expert at both. "Rose, I would never risk the family's safety. This isn't something that has been decided. I have merely brought it up for discussion. Now, you have had a chance to express your opinion on the subject. It's time everyone else got to weigh in on it."
Rosalie huffed, and turned her head away from him. There was a flash of anguish on her beautiful face and Carlisle thought he saw venom in her eyes but wasn't sure. "Fine."
Carlisle didn't have time to dissect what the look on Rosalie's face meant. He was on a timetable and he and his family could go back and forth on this subject for days; they had less than two hours. They couldn't dawdle, so he took control of the conversation. "To ensure that everyone has an opportunity to share their thoughts and feelings about this, we're going to go clockwise around the table and let each person speak without interruption," he explained firmly, again meeting everyone's eyes to ensure they understood this was not up for debate. "Esme."
Esme's smile disappeared as she prepared to share how she felt about Storm joining the family, her expression now serious and all business. "I want this and I want it for all the same reasons that Carlisle does. This girl needs a home. We can give it to her. We may be vampires but I have the utmost faith that she will be much safer with us than she would ever be with any other family who might take her in. We all have so much love to give. Why not give it to her?" she concluded, folding her hands calmly and confidently on the table in front of her. Her smile had returned, small and serene; the smile of a mother, who unconditionally loved her child even though Storm wasn't part of the family yet.
Carlisle gave her a nod, keeping his face impassive and objective, but unable to stop the rush of affection he felt for his mate in that moment. Still, he would hear each family member's opinion and take it into consideration before a decision was made. As much as he wanted, needed, Storm there with them, he would not offer it as an option to her without the blessing of his loved ones. Onto the next person in line, "Emmett."
Carlisle's good-natured, ever-joking son also turned serious. He may have always looked for the humor in things but he knew what and when to take them seriously. The evidence of this was in the tenor of his voice, "I want it too. Carlisle has a good argument in favor of Storm living with us. I hate the idea of her possibly ending up in an abusive situation. It doesn't sit right with me and she deserves better than that. I agree that we can give it to her. It might take some adjusting, but we always manage to pull through. I might also point out that even though she smells mouthwatering and our bloodlust was affected, none of us had any inclination to act on it when she was here last time."
Everyone seemed to take Emmett's words into consideration and Carlisle paused for a moment to let them sink in before moving on. "Alice."
Alice was also uncharacteristically serious, her usual exuberance absent physically but not in her eyes. No, her eyes were passionate and emphatic. "I agree with Carlisle, Esme, and Emmett. Everyone deserves a home that's loving and I don't think she'll find another one that is more loving than ours. I do have to say that despite the fact that we're vampires, I also believe we can provide a safe home for Storm."
"Have you seen this, Alice?" Carlisle interrupted briefly.
"No," Alice admitted, "I still can't see her, but that's no reason to turn her away."
At her admission, Peter's eyes snapped to his, the look in them keen and penetrating. Carlisle could see that the wheels in his head were turning and wondered when, not if, the younger vampire would put the pieces together. Peter was smarter than your average vampire with a sharp, analytical mind that was excellent both for creating and picking apart strategy. He would figure things out, there was no question of that.
"Is there anything else you would like to add?" Carlisle asked.
"No," Alice answered. "I've said my piece."
Carlisle nodded and moved his gaze to his oldest son and companion. "Edward."
Edward sighed and Carlisle knew his continually serious son was torn, especially since he was still keeping his thoughts from him. He had no choice though. If he let Edward see and hear them, it would be a violation of Storm's privacy. If he ever hoped to earn her trust that was something he could not do, even if she never knew it. He knew Edward didn't understand why he was keeping things from him, but he had also known Carlisle long enough to know that he would never do it with nefarious intentions ... at least, he hoped.
"I have mixed feelings about this," Edward began. "I agree that Storm should have a safe, loving home. I also believe that we are capable of giving that to her," he said, running his hands through his hair as if the words he was saying weighed heavily on him and Carlisle knew that they did. Edward may have seemed apathetic toward the girl but he knew his son cared for her despite his outward appearance of neutrality. "On the other hand, Rosalie has a point. Bringing her into the family has potentially dire consequences both for us and for her. That is not something that can be ignored."
Carlisle nodded thoughtfully, meeting Edward's gaze as he chose his words. "Do you trust me?" he asked.
Once the words had passed his lips, he once again moved his eyes around the table before returning them to Edward.
Edward's eyes took on a brief sheen of panic before switching to hurt and then settling on earnestness. "Of course! You know I do."
"Do you believe that I would have brought this to the family without weighing and measuring all of the options, all of the potential consequences, and all of the ways to protect everyone - the people I love most in this world and have every intention of spending eternity with - beforehand?" Carlisle asked evenly, his tone reassuring his son that there was no malice or offense in the question.
Edward looked horrified, "Of course not!"
Carlisle smiled tenderly at him. "You have every right to feel the way you feel. You have every right to express those feelings and concerns," he said before moving his gaze to Rosalie. "Just as you have those rights."
As annoyed with her as he was, it wasn't because of how she felt. It was because of how she went about expressing those feelings, but that was just Rosalie's way. Carlisle suspected his usual patience was thin because he was so protective of Storm and so afraid of what would happen to her if his family decided against taking her in or if they decided in favor of it and she refused the offer. Rosalie gave him a small smile but he knew she was still upset. What he had yet to figure out was what her primary emotion was. If he could figure that out, he might be able to persuade her that taking Storm in wouldn't be the end of the world. But first, there were three others they needed to hear from.
"Jasper," Carlisle continued, inclining his head toward the man he sometimes saw as his son and at others felt more as if he was his brother.
Jasper met his gaze for several seconds, folding his hands on the tabletop, his body full of tension. Carlisle wondered why Jasper would be so tense over one human. He rarely struggled with his bloodlust anymore but Carlisle didn't know what else could be the cause.
"I'm not doubting that you thought this through before you brought it to us," Jasper began, his tone diplomatic, "but I would like to know what you plan on doing about the Quileutes."
Carlisle continued to hold Jasper's gaze, though he had to admit that it was a bit unnerving. There was a coldness to it, a calculation, that he rarely ever saw. Carlisle had never come face-to-face with who Jasper had been before they'd met. He couldn't say he particularly wanted to. He had heard the stories, knew they were not exaggerations, and that filled him with sadness because he also knew that Jasper had always done his best to protect his family from that part of himself. While Jasper never talked about that time in his life, in Carlisle's eyes, that protectiveness spoke volumes. Carlisle often looked at the man before him and wondered what had been done to make him into the legend he had become, because the man he saw was so very incongruous with that legend. It wasn't that Carlisle didn't believe Jasper was as powerful or capable as those legends claimed him to be. It was the hardness, the coldness, the utter lack of mercy and humanity those legends spouted that he had a hard time coming to terms with; but then, Carlisle had never been to war. None of those things mattered to him though. Jasper was family, and even if tomorrow he began to struggle with those parts of himself, Carlisle would love him no less. Even if Jasper told him all the nitty-gritty details of the century he'd spent at war and the things he had done, Carlisle's love still would not diminish ...
"We will call a meeting with Billy and Talise Black to inform them of the situation," he said. "The Quileutes may not like us but they are reasonable." Rosalie snorted and Carlisle knew many of the others disagreed with his assessment but he didn't let her reaction stop him. "If we can get them to listen, I'm sure we can convince them that Storm will come to no harm from us while living under our roof."
"Ordinarily, I would agree with you but I'm not sure I can in this instance," Jasper said. "If you hadn't convinced them to allow two human drinkers to live here so recently I'd say they would be more receptive to the idea but that isn't the case, so I ask you again. What do you plan on doing about the Quileutes?"
Everyone was observing Carlisle raptly as they waited for his answer and he didn't blame them. Jasper's question was a valid one and it was another he had to answer carefully.
"The fact of the matter is that the treaty is nothing more than a concession on our part to help them sleep better at night," Carlisle began. "We don't owe them anything and we don't need their permission. I am in no way saying they don't have a right to protect their land but we have never been a threat to them or anyone, and that is something they cannot dispute. As long as that remains the case there's nothing they can do about it without breaking the treaty. The last thing the tribe will want is to bring war down upon themselves. I may believe in trying to work through differences peacefully first and foremost but there are things I will not tolerate and threats to my family are one of them. If we go to war, we will win and they know it. Besides, Billy and Talise Black won't dare to dishonor their ancestor's memory in that way, particularly since Ephraim Black is Billy's blood, and even if they threaten it, I have an ace up my sleeve," Carlisle finished calmly but he was a bit ashamed to admit there was a slight smirk on his face as he revealed all of this.
Jasper nodded, seemingly pacified.
Many of the family looked shocked at his answer to Jasper's question but there was also a great deal of respect as well. They all seemed impressed and pleased. Even though they didn't know the details of what he intended to do, he knew without a doubt he had eased most of their minds.
There were only two members of the family who hadn't yet shared their opinions about the idea of a human living with them, and it was the first time either of them had been included in a family discussion. Carlisle smiled, pleased at this, as though sitting around the dining room table and hashing things out together made Peter and Charlotte's place with them more official.
"Peter," he said, warmly.
Peter looked at him similarly to the way Jasper had, and their features were so alike in that moment that they really did look like brothers.
"Well, Doc," he began, "I am not opposed to the idea."
It was a rather noncommittal opinion Carlisle noted, but it was understandable.
Emmett snorted. "What Pete? Don't you just know whether or not all of this is a good idea?"
Peter rolled his eyes. "I don't know everything, idiot, and my 'knower' is a little off at the moment."
Jasper frowned, his gaze shooting to Peter in concern. Peter's eyes didn't leave Carlisle's for several more moments though.
It was as if he was silently asking, You wouldn't know anything about that would you, Doc?
Then Peter broke their eye contact and shot a cocky smile at his former commanding officer. "Nothin' to worry over, Major. It happens from time to time."
Only when a certain girl is involved, I suspect, Carlisle thought.
Jasper gave Peter a terse nod and Carlisle couldn't tell if he had accepted his brother's appeasing retort. He couldn't worry about that now though and he couldn't worry that Peter would be coming to him sooner rather than later. He didn't want to rush things but if he stood there worrying over all of it, that's exactly what he would have to do and that wouldn't be fair to anyone.
"Is that all you would like to say?" Carlisle asked.
"Yep, that's about it," Peter confirmed with a lazy tip of his head.
"Alright then," Carlisle said, moving his gaze to Peter's left. "Charlotte, what do you think?"
"I'm not opposed to the idea either," Charlotte answered, "but all of the concerns that have been brought up aren't child's play and an ace up your sleeve or not, there's no guarantee that it's foolproof. As much as I like her, I've known her all of five minutes, and I don't want to fight a war for a girl who might not appreciate the effort we would be puttin' into it if that's what it comes down to."
Carlisle nodded again, taking in Charlotte's words and lining them up with everyone else's. He gave everyone a few minutes before he moved things along to the last step.
"The only way to decide this fairly is if we put it to a vote," he said. He looked to his mate first. "Esme?"
"Yes," she said, her smile wider than he had seen it in a long time.
"Emmett?"
"Hell, yes!" Emmett exclaimed, earning a glare from Rosalie for his enthusiasm.
"Alice?"
"Yes!" Alice squealed, bouncing excitedly in her chair.
"Edward?"
Edward hesitated briefly before saying, "Yes."
"Jasper?"
Jasper was staring at a point on the wall and it was almost as if he hadn't heard Carlisle ask what his vote was. It was a good ten seconds before Jasper looked at him, and when he did, he looked genuinely torn. His mouth dropped open and snapped shut several times and he couldn't seem to find his voice. Thirty seconds passed before he finally answered with a pained, "No."
Carlisle felt a surge of disappointment and concern. He was not disappointed in Jasper and he would have to make sure Jasper knew that, but he had been hoping that Storm would be well-received by everyone ... well, almost everyone. The majority was already in favor of her moving in, but each family member's vote was equally important.
"Peter?"
"Yes."
Carlisle was surprised that Peter wasn't voting the same as Jasper. It wasn't that he didn't have his own mind or share his opinions when they differed from his brother's, but in this case, because Jasper seemed so torn, he would have thought Peter would have voted the same merely for the purpose of supporting him. Carlisle wondered if Peter was voting for Storm to move in because he wanted her to or if he had because he was curious about whether or not she was the source of the disruption in his gift as well as if she had been the reason he had sent Carlisle to Louisville. He would discuss that with him when Peter confronted him.
"Charlotte?"
"No," she said, placing a hand on Jasper's shoulder in a show of support. Carlisle noticed that he didn't flinch when she touched him. He never did when Peter or Charlotte initiated physical contact. Jasper always tried to hide it with everyone else, and he was truly good at it, but there was always that slight stiffening that gave him away.
"Rosalie?" Carlisle asked last, already knowing what her answer would be.
"Yes," Rose stated firmly after only a moment of deliberation. Everyone, save Edward and Jasper, whipped around to stare at her incredulously, mouths hanging open in shock. Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Maybe everyone does deserve to live in a safe, loving place, though I'm still not entirely convinced about the safe part."
Emmett grinned, wrapped his arms around her, pulled her into his lap, and gave her a sloppy kiss on the cheek. "Aww, babe! I knew you had a soft spot for the human!"
Rosalie scowled. "I didn't say I would be nice to her, but Carlisle ..."
Carlisle raised his eyebrows, waiting for her to continue.
"... if this comes back to bite us in the ass, I'll kill her myself."
"I will keep that in mind," Carlisle responded, knowing she meant it.
"We aren't going to tell her the truth, are we?" Rose asked next, the steel in her tone laced with trepidation.
"No," he said, "but it will come up eventually."
"And when it does?" Jasper asked. When he spoke, it sounded like it had been decades since he'd last uttered a word.
"We tell her everything," Carlisle responded, firmly, "and if all else fails, and it comes down to life or death, we give her the choice."
Rosalie nodded, satisfied with his answer. The others looked somber. Jasper looked a little sick.
"So, now that Storm moving in with us is official on our end, how are we going to get her to bite?" Emmett queried astutely. "'Cause seriously, trying to get Storm on board with staying here is going to be like attempting to pull the Earth out of the Sun's orbit."
"I'd like to speak to her about it alone, actually," Carlisle told his family. "I believe she'll be more receptive to the idea if she hears it when it's just the two of us."
Esme frowned, her disappointment clear on her beautiful face. "If you think that's best, dear."
Carlisle felt a pang of guilt that his wife wouldn't be with him but her absence, everyone's absence, really was for the best. "I do," he confirmed. "She'll be here in fifteen minutes," he said, aware of exactly how much time had passed without needing to check the clock and knowing he still needed to look for her necklace. "All of you should get going. I'll call after we've spoken if Alice doesn't see it."
His family nodded at him and exited the house through the door that led to the garage, opting to go somewhere in their cars rather than disappearing into the woods on foot.
oOo
Storm had arrived precisely two hours from the time she had left and was now sitting on the overstuffed leather couch in his study. Carlisle had taken the wingback chair across from her, vividly remembering the last time she had been here and desperately hoping things went better as he proceeded now.
"I appreciate that you got everyone to leave," Storm said, sincerely.
Carlisle smiled. "I always try my best to keep my promises."
Storm smiled back. "I believe that," she told him, her tone still sincere. Her expression turned eager as she looked at him then, though she tried to hide it. "Did you find my necklace?"
Carlisle had known the necklace was important to her. She wouldn't have come to Forks on the off chance he might have it if it wasn't, but he hadn't realized until that moment just how much it must have meant to her. He found it endearing and his curiosity over it grew stronger than ever.
"Before we get to that," he began, "I'd like to speak with you about something else."
Storm frowned, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "Okay," she said, dragging the word out, "shoot."
"We," Carlisle stated carefully but firmly, mindful of the effect of what he was about to propose might have on her, "as in my family and I, would like you to stay with us."
Her eyebrows remained furrowed. "Stay?"
"Allow me to rephrase," he corrected. "We would like you to live here ... with us."
Carlisle steeled himself for her inevitable stubborn outrage but she just stared at him instead, her eyebrows furrowing even further.
"You want me to live here?" she repeated, her tone just slightly incredulous. "With you?"
"And my family, yes," Carlisle confirmed with a patient nod, watching as she processed this.
Storm cocked her head to the side as she thought, mild surprise mixing with her confusion. When she finally spoke, her disbelief was clear, "Of all the things you could have said, that was the last thing I was expecting."
Carlisle's smile returned. "I have to say, it feels nice to surprise you for once."
The corners of her mouth turned up the slightest bit before her gaze turned serious, and she studied him for a long time. "You're not kidding," she stated plainly.
Carlisle didn't fail to notice the humorless tone to her voice. "No, I'm not."
"May I ask why?"
"Is that really important?" he queried, folding his hands in his lap and regarding her evenly.
"It is to me," she answered, tartly, "especially if your reason for wanting it has to do with what happened in Louisville."
Carlisle's expression remained unchanged as he asked, "I don't suppose you would tell me how you got into that situation?"
Storm's expression hardened.
There she is, he thought in relief. He couldn't say he didn't like this new, less edgy side of her, but it would have concerned him if her personality had genuinely changed so much so quickly.
"I don't have any plans to, no," she told him, flatly, "and despite the condition you found me in three weeks ago, I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, Dr. Cullen."
"So we're back to Dr. Cullen, are we?" Carlisle said, arching a brow and remaining calm. Storm crossed her arms over her chest and scowled, causing him to sigh. "I'm not going to tell you that my desire to have you here with us has nothing to do with what happened in Louisville because that would be a lie, but it isn't the only reason I want you here. My family, however, wants you here because they like you-"
Storm scoffed.
"Most of my family likes you," he amended, "as do I."
"What's the other reason?" she asked, curiously.
Carlisle lifted his folded hands from his lap, propped his elbows on the armrests of his wingback chair, and tented his fingers at chest level. "I have no doubt that you are perfectly capable of taking care of yourself, Storm," he said, his voice and expression full of sadness, "but the thing of it is, a girl your age shouldn't have to take care of herself."
Storm's mouth dropped open to protest but Carlisle wasn't going to let her until he was finished.
"I know you pride yourself on being so self-sufficient, and Esme and I aren't asking that you give that up," he explained. "All we would like to do is relieve some of that burden so you have a chance to be a kid every once in awhile."
Storm drew her face away from him quickly but he still caught the brief flicker of pain that flashed across her face that she tried to suppress. Also, she was biting the inside of her lip. Esme had mentioned that Storm had done that when she appeared to be torn over one thing or another, and Carlisle was hopeful when he saw it. Maybe it meant she was actually considering his offer.
It took less time than he thought it would for her to meet his eyes again. "I need time to think about it."
Carlisle smiled serenely at her. "Take all the time you need."
"Hey, Doctor?" Storm called. He raised his eyebrows, waiting for her to say whatever it was she needed to. She gave him a measuring look, and when she next spoke, her voice was a deadly promise. "No matter what my decision ends up being, if you threaten to call Child Protective Services, good intentions or not, I will stab you in your face."
Carlisle's smile turned wry but his eyes were serious. "I imagine you would. That's not something you have to worry about though. I learned my lesson in regard to that last time."
She nodded tersely. "Did you find my necklace?" she asked, changing the subject, her tone and face morphing from deadly to pensive and distant.
Carlisle rose from his chair, made his way around his desk, and pulled the top left drawer open, scooping up the delicate silver chain and phoenix pendant. He'd had it after all. He remembered that when he had taken it off of her, he had placed it on the bedside table. In the flurry of activity surrounding his attempt to save her life, Storm's necklace had somehow been knocked off of it and into his medical bag. Carlisle had been so focused on what he'd been doing that, despite his vampire brain, he had failed to notice. Vampires were not immune to tunnel vision.
He made his way back over to her and opened his hand for Storm to see. Her eyes lit up when she saw it resting in his palm, a light sheen of tears making them sparkle.
oOo
October 2080
BPOV
The Cullens wanted me to live with them.
The Cullens wanted me to live with them.
It had been two days since Dr. Cullen had made his proposal, and I still couldn't wrap my head around it.
I had known the Cullens were nice. It was impossible for me not to know that. They had taken in a girl who had broken into their home instead of calling the police like they should have. They had provided that girl with shelter, food, clothing, and kindness when that girl had done nothing to deserve it, and they were still extending her that kindness even though she had told them to go fuck themselves. Instead of being offended, like normal people, they liked that girl. They liked me. Then again, there was nothing normal about the Cullens, including their kindness.
They had no reason to like me but they did, with the clear exception of Rosalie and Jasper. Edward had seemed somewhat happy to see me, though that could have been more for Alice's benefit than mine, and Peter and Charlotte weren't unfriendly.
I had observed the two of them just like I had everyone else.
Peter was 6'3" with hair that was still blonde but several shades darker than Jasper's, and short - longer than Emmett's but straight and not as long or as messy as Edward's. He had the same haunted quality to his eyes that his cousin did but it didn't run quite so deep, there was a steel there that was very similar, and a hyper-awareness that rivalled Jasper's as well. At the same time, he possessed a mischievousness that matched Emmett's but didn't seem quite so innocent or childlike. There was nothing innocent or childlike about Peter. There couldn't be. There was an edge to him that was razor sharp and didn't allow for such things, and that mirrored his cousin as well. Peter's utter devotion to Charlotte and Jasper was clear to me, but it would have been hard for anyone to miss. The way he oriented himself to them while in their presence undoubtedly labeled them as his family, and he managed to pull that off in an entirely masculine way.
Charlotte stood three inches shorter than I, at 5'4". Her hair was long and blonde, nearly the same pale shade as Rosalie's, with loose, beautiful curls that were similar to Esme's. Her body was perfection in just the same way as Esme, Alice, and Rosalie, though the latter still had a bit of an edge over the others. That didn't change the fact that Charlotte was gorgeous, but she also had a haunted quality to her eyes. It was another thing that reminded me of Rosalie as well as the Southern Belle's boyfriend and his cousin. However, she seemed good-humored in a way that Rosalie wasn't, with a sweetness that was reminiscent of Esme's and a smile as wide and infectious as Alice's. There was also a fierceness to her that was undeniable just like her boyfriend and his cousin, and she was obviously just as devoted to Peter and Jasper as they were to her.
Yes, I had noticed that Jasper seemed unusually attuned to her but that did not bug me because I hated him.
As far as they were concerned, they struck me more as threats than all the others save Jasper. They both had the same crescent-shaped scars that he did, Peter more than Charlotte, but both to a significantly lesser degree. I wasn't afraid of them but I wasn't drawn to them the way I was drawn to Jasper.
No, you are not drawn to Jasper fucking Cullen! I insisted in exasperation.
Their scars did make me awfully curious though and I would have liked to know how they had gotten them but they didn't invoke the need to spill all my secrets like Jasper's did.
Fuck!
The only relevant part of the tangent my thoughts had just taken was the reminder that my brain was still addled. There was no other explanation for my errant Jasper-centric musings.
God, I really needed to sleep. It had been seventeen days since I'd last indulged in that luxury and the only way I could come to a solid conclusion in regard to this was if I got some rest.
Hopefully, when I came to, I'd come to my senses and leave Forks.
oOo
I had slept for a grand total of four hours and that wasn't nearly enough; but then, I was staying in yet another shit motel, this one in Port Angeles, and it's not like the places were known for their quality mattresses. Then again, I could make do with a hard patch of ground in any circumstances but that didn't mean I liked it and mattresses really did make a difference no matter what I could make do with. Though this motel was far better than my home of four weeks in Louisville, lacking the awful kind of retro wall paper and faux-silk, porn star sheets, it still was what it was - shit. I could have afforded better. I could have afforded a fucking penthouse with the half million dollars I'd raked in playing poker and betting on horse racing but I had plans for that money, and those plans didn't involve four star accommodations. My intentions for my nest egg were far more important than personal comfort, and I wasn't convinced I deserved it anyway.
That was the crux of the matter really. There were many, many things I had to consider, many questions I had to ask myself before I could make a decision; but no matter how carefully I went over the logistics or argued the finer points in favor of or against this cockamamie situation, that was what it came down to. Did I deserve it?
Before I answered that question though, I still had to answer all the others that needed answering and that was what I was preparing to do as I lie flat on my back on the aforementioned shit mattress, staring at the ceiling, and twirling my necklace around and between my fingers. I was hoping the familiar action would help because it always did. It didn't really matter what I needed: peace, hope, comfort, strength, clarity; just touching it generally provided me with what I sought. I just prayed it wouldn't fail me this time because I really needed some guidance. Hell, what I needed was for someone to bitch slap me and tell me to get my ass out of Forks. As capable as my necklace was of meeting my emotional needs, I highly doubted it could pull that off.
I couldn't put off asking myself those questions any longer though. I was stalling and I knew it. I just didn't understand why I was stalling. Either way, Dr. Cullen was expecting an answer soon and procrastination had never boded well for me.
Time to get your shit together, Bella, I sighed. Here goes ...
Question Number One: Was a small town the right fit for me this time?
The answer to that was yes. I hadn't lived in a small town since three lives ago. That was what I called each place I lived in - a new life. I was never the same person in any city or town I lived in, taking on different personalities and names in an effort to blend in. Being the same person left a trail, established a pattern, just as surely as choosing the same types of places to live in, and it was another thing I could not do. There were certain aspects of my personality that I would not change, like not taking shit from anyone for example, but it had gotten to the point where I wasn't certain who I was anymore. I wasn't sure I had ever actually figured that out. There had never really been much time for me to think about it, I guess. I was always running, always so focused on survival and freedom that I never stopped to decide who I wanted to be outside of Fort Ares and Project Apotheosis. All I knew, had always known, was that I wanted to live on my own terms. Right now I was still Soldier Omega, never having left that persona behind, stuck in escape and evade mode, with a singular survival mindset. But who was Bella? I honestly didn't know. Maybe if I lived with the Cullens for a little while, I could take the time to figure that out. Plus, the Cullens alone, especially with the added presence of Peter and Charlotte, were so distracting, I doubted anyone would take notice of me.
Question Number Two: Were there more than one adequate means of escape?
That was a question with a tricky answer. As far as variety went, Forks was shit but there were plenty of decent bodies of water with easy access to multiple points of entry around here. It limited my options without really hindering them and with my ability to lower my body temperature, hunters would have a harder time using thermal scanners to track my movements if they caught up with me. The fact that I had successfully played dead in Louisville only lent credence to this. The process would need tweaking since I was no longer missing 80+% of my blood volume but I found comfort in it.
Question Number Three: Were there plenty of jobs available where employers wouldn't ask many questions about who I was or where I came from?
In a town the size of Forks the answer to this question was always a resounding no, but I was still good at finding the places that wouldn't ask many questions, whether there were a lot of them or not. That was a way living with the Cullens might work in my favor, actually. I would bet my most prized possession, the necklace that was the whole reason I was here, that they were the wealthiest family in Forks. People probably didn't question them much for that reason alone, so becoming a pseudo-Cullen meant the townsfolk wouldn't bother to question me either.
Question Number Four: Were there an abundance of cheap motels or abandoned buildings that I could use to squat in?
That was a question I didn't have to worry about this time since shelter would be provided for me.
Final Question: Was it absolutely random in comparison to the places I'd lived previously?
That was another yes.
Now came the more difficult questions.
Was living with the Cullens smart?
That was an answer that was obvious. Living with the Cullens would absolutely not be smart. It would be one of the most ridiculous, insane, illogical, and monumentally idiotic things I had ever done; but just because it would be a dumb decision to make didn't mean I couldn't be smart about it. If I did decide to live with the Cullens, I wouldn't be going into it blind. I knew they weren't normal and, though it was a rarity in my experience, their abnormality had nothing to do with their kindness and generosity. It was in the way that, though most of them were not related by blood, their skin was all the same pale, perfect porcelain and their eyes were all varying shades of the same color of gold. It was in the way that they were all uncannily beautiful. It was in the way that Jasper's eyes went black when he was angry and how cool he, his father, and Emmett were to the touch. It was in the nearly soundless way that Edward had moved. The Cullens were off, but though my gut had indicated to me on several occasions while in their presence that I should run from them, it had also unequivocally told me that they wouldn't hurt me … well, most of them wouldn't hurt me. Besides, I couldn't judge the Cullens for being different, no matter how and why. I was different in so many fucked up ways that I couldn't be that hypocritical; and it really was none of my business, just like what and who I was, and where I came from was none of theirs. If I did this, moved in with them, my eyes would be wide open at all times; particularly around a certain honey blond Texan.
I knew that after what had happened in Louisville, risking attachments was not in my best interests. I had barely even developed one with Jasper and it had nearly gotten me killed but therein, lie the brilliance! Yes, Esme, Emmett, Alice, and Carlisle would make my life difficult while trying to avoid developing any sort of caring for them that went any further than skin deep, and it was entirely possible that Edward, Peter, and Charlotte would as well. Living in the same house with Jasper, however, would serve to remind me of the dangers of getting attached and cure me of any inclination to get close. But while living with the Cullens would be colossally stupid, as I had acknowledged so many times in the last minutes, there would be some undeniable benefits.
Carlisle Cullen was a doctor, and a damn good one, arguably as good or better than any of the doctors at Fort Ares. Not only that, he was a respectful one. He hadn't had to honor my request not to be taken to a hospital but he did, and he was resourceful, saving my life on the fly under even more stressful circumstances than I imagined were usual for him. Plus, he hadn't said a word to anyone about what had happened in Louisville, not even to his wife, and I appreciated his faithfulness to doctor-patient confidentiality. I had to admit that being in such close proximity to a doctor like him wasn't the worst idea in the world.
I had healed from my stab wound perfectly; so perfectly that there was no evidence I had been stabbed in the first place, but I couldn't say the same for my head. Over the past three weeks, the dizziness and headaches had virtually disappeared but I still found trickles of blood creeping out of my ears every few days. It had been a week since it had last happened, but I was concerned enough over it that the idea of Dr. Cullen as a roommate was appealing.
Then, there was the argument he had made about me getting to be a kid every once in awhile. I had never been a kid before. Not even when I was donning military-issue, camouflage diapers had I been a kid, and I really, really wanted to see what it was like for a little while. I would be neither run of the mill nor cookie cutter, but it would be better than nothing even if it was just pretend.
I did know there would be certain things I could not compromise in favor of playing out my little fantasy. I still had to be vigilant, cautious, and prepared, but I really was so fucking tired of being alone ... bone tired, and since the Cullens were the ones who had alerted me to this, they may as well be the ones to suffer my presence. I wouldn't get attached though. I wouldn't.
That brought me back to the most important question: Did I deserve it?
No, I didn't. After what I had done in Louisville, amongst other things, there was no fucking way; but I had made a promise to Jane Doe. I had given her my word that I would find her killer and bring him or her to justice. I had given her my word that I would figure out who she was, find her family, and make sure that she was remembered and mourned. I had yet to make good on those promises, and atoning for what I had done to her and making sure she got the memorial she deserved instead of what she had gotten was my top priority. Since Forks fit all the criteria that I used when deciding where I would live, it was as good a place as any to start the process of keeping those promises, and I wouldn't have to waste any more time than I already had trying to figure out where else to go.
My decision was made. I was going to live with the Cullens.
I would regret this. I was sure of it, but what was one more?
Look out, Forks, I sighed melodramatically, a wry smile on my lips, here I come ...
oOo
A/N: There we have it folks!
As you can see, Bella is feeling very guilty about what she had to do to escape the morgue and is determined to keep her word to Jane Doe. It has nothing at all to do with the Cullens or Jasper. ;)
The Jane Doe murder mystery is not part of the plot that will drag on because that isn't the purpose of the story. This is very much all about J/B and the relationship they are developing, but Bella needed good reasons to convince herself to stay and, as determined as she is to do right by Jane, she could have chosen anywhere to start keeping her promises to her. She is using that as an excuse to be with the family, and a certain honey blonde Texan, since she can't justify it to herself on any other grounds. Don't mistake her lack of vitriol against Jasper that things between them are good now. They still have stuff to work out and there will be tension between them until they do. It'll will be fun tension but still ... Fair warning!
Why did Jasper vote no? Find out in chapter 23 ...
Take care! :)
