A/N: Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer, but her characters are fun to play with so I'm making them do my bidding for the foreseeable future. Jasper as the God of War and Peter 'just knowing shit' are ideas that belong to IDreamofEddy. I do own the plot and original characters of Longing though.

Thank you to my wonderful beta and friend, Laurie Whitlock and my beloved sister/beta/pre-reader, Shelljayz, who brings me great joy every day. The two of you rock and this story would not be the same without you and your guidance. I love you both to death. :)

Thank you so much to everyone who has followed, favorited, reviewed or just plain stopped by to read or visit. I love you all! :)

I felt this was necessary ...

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Longing Chapter 25 Outtake

"Mrs. Cullen?" Bella's soft voice sounded from behind Esme.

She was in the kitchen tossing away the remnants of the food fight from the living room. The others had helped with the clean up, they were always good about that, but Esme liked to clean, so she had dismissed the rest of the family, all of whom had retired to their rooms. Cleaning helped to clear her head and she very much needed that. She also needed the distraction. She had wanted so very badly for Bella to join the family that she'd ached for it but now that she was here, Esme wasn't sure quite how to act. The events of Bella's last visit continued to weigh heavily on her and she didn't know how to move passed it. She had felt before that she could do nothing right with her and it was difficult to shake that notion.

"Hello, Bella," Esme greeted with a warm smile. "That really is a very lovely name."

The smile Bella gave her in return was shy if Esme wasn't mistaken. "Um, thank you."

"What can I do for you?" Esme asked nervously.

"I was hoping we might talk," Bella said.

"Of course," she agreed genially, though she was a bit hesitant. She was still afraid she would say the wrong thing.

Esme directed Bella toward Carlisle's study and she followed without comment much as she had all those months ago. When they entered she once again took a seat in one of the wingback chairs. Instead of sitting on the couch as she had the previous visit, Esme sat in the other wingback chair in the hope that things would go better due to the change. It was a silly hope, a naive one, but she was willing to take a chance on it.

"So," Bella began a bit awkwardly, "I think it's a good idea if we talk about the first time I was here."

Esme's nerves amplified and it must have shown on her face.

Bella sighed. "I'm not sorry for how I reacted when you threatened me with Child Protective Services, but I am sorry for how I treated you when you offered me the clothes. I know I already said that in the note I sent, but I thought you should hear it directly from me," she said. "You were being kind and you didn't deserve for me to blow up at you. I was in a bad headspace at the time. It's not an excuse but it is an explanation."

"I appreciate your apology but it really isn't necessary, dear," Esme told her.

"It is actually," Bella said. "I've noticed that you've been hesitant around me, and the only thing I can think is that you're afraid of offending me and how I might treat you if you do. I don't want you to worry about that or to feel like you need to watch yourself around me though. I made a promise to your husband that I wouldn't treat you or anyone else with disrespect without cause and I meant it. Not to mention, you're still being kind to me, and you're a good woman and a good mother. I may not want you to be my mother, but I don't want to treat you badly."

Bella's statement filled Esme with sadness. She was truly touched by most of it, but she genuinely wanted to be a mother to her. She may not have known everything Bella had gone through in her life, but Esme believed that she deserved one and she was a good mother. That wasn't a claim made out of arrogance but something she had been told many times by the vampires she often called her children even though they were neither children nor hers. Esme still liked to think of herself as a mother to them on occasion and they treated her as such more often than not, which warmed her heart more than words could ever say.

"I appreciate that as well," Esme replied, feeling much better and far more at ease.

Bella gazed at Esme intently, a calculation in her eyes that made her seem older than her appearance suggested. "In spite of that, I do think we need to set some ground rules."

Esme's eyebrows arched. "What do you have in mind?"

Bella's expression remained serious. "I realize that kindness and a need to help is a driving force in your personality. It's rare, and I like that. I do," she reiterated sincerely, "and as much as I appreciate all the things you've done, it's been really fucking hard for me to accept those things without tearing into you for assuming I can't do those things for myself."

"We haven't made any assumptions, Bella," Esme said gently. "At least, not since you've come back into our lives. That's not a mistake we will ever make again."

"On a logical level, I know you haven't but my pride is constantly telling me something different, so my first instinct is still to lash out," Bella explained. "I don't want to lash out at you, Mrs. Cullen. I really do want to treat you the way you deserve to be."

"I would like nothing more than the same both for myself and for you," she replied. "What do you suggest we do?"

Bella regarded her evenly before she spoke again, "I haven't known you long so I can't claim to know you well, but I'm very good at reading people and it's obvious to me that you're a perceptive woman."

The fact that Bella had noticed this didn't surprise Esme. She hadn't failed to see that the teenager before her was just as observant as she was.

"I threw off some pretty potent warning signs before I blew up at you, and I know you were aware of them at the time," Bella continued. "You disregarded them."

Esme hung her head for a moment. She had disregarded them, but she'd just wanted to help Bella so badly that she'd been willing to overlook those signs in the hope that the girl would come around. Obviously, she was incorrect but that realization had only come to her in hindsight as things so often did.

"I did," she admitted and took to echoing her thoughts. "I just wanted to help you so much."

"I know," Bella told her, "but the only way this whole living together thing is going to work is if you actually respect the boundaries I set, no matter how hard that might be for you, and you also need to understand that I'm not setting those boundaries to hurt your feelings."

Esme nodded thoughtfully. She did understand and she told Bella this. "I promise to respect them as much as I can, Bella, but there are times when I go into 'Mom Mode' first and think later. I hope you won't hold that against me."

Bella's lips curled up in the tiniest smile. "I'll do my best."

"You need to understand as well that when Carlisle and offer to do things for you, we aren't doing it because we think you're incapable," Esme said. "When we say we want to ease your burden and allow you the opportunity to be a kid, we truly mean it, Bella."

Bella was biting the inside of her lip as Esme said this, but then the smile returned to her lips. "I'll do my best at that as well. I'll also try harder to vocalize the boundaries I set more clearly. My warning signs may be strong but they still aren't a worthy substitute for words," she said, "and if you have any boundaries for me, feel free to share them."

"I will," Esme agreed.

"Well, uh, I've got some unpacking to do," Bella told her, "so I'll just leave you be now, unless you'd like some help cleaning up?"

She smiled at her. "No, dear, but thank you for the offer."

Bella nodded in acknowledgment. "Goodnight, Mrs. Cullen."

"Goodnight, Bella," Esme hummed affectionately, a soft smile gracing her lips.

Esme was happier now, more confident. She felt as though she would be able to coexist with Bella without the constant dread of failure hanging over her head. She wanted to be a mother to this girl. This was something she often contemplated, dreamed of, and for the first time she believed it might be possible … if she tread carefully and respected Bella's boundaries.

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A/N: There you have it - a mini heart-to-heart between Bella and Esme. It was needed don't you think?

Take care until next time! :)