"Hey kid, have you seen the Comm - sorry, the Colonel, this morning?"

Athrun looked down from the cockpit of the Infinite Justice at Murdoch standing below.

"No, I haven't. Why, is he supposed to be here?"

Murdoch sighed. "He was supposed to be on shift an hour ago, to do maintenance checks on Akatsuki..."

"Want me to go look for him?"

Athrun drifted down the silent corridors of Archangel. He wasn't sure where the Colonel would be, but normally if he wasn't in his room, he should be with Captain Ramius.

As he passed by the observation deck, a flash of blonde caught his eye.

"Colonel?"

Neo Lorrnoke was just standing there, looking out into the port of Copernicus, seemingly lost in thought.

"Hey, what's wrong? You were meant to be on shift an hour ago...Murdoch's kinda mad.."

The Colonel turned to him and smiled, but the expression didn't reach his eyes.

"Oh, sorry. I was just thinking, that's all.."

Athrun frowned. "About what?"

The older man sighed, and leaned his head against the window. "I've found myself thinking about this more and more lately. When I was first brought on board this ship, as a prisoner, everyone thought that I was this 'Mwu' person. It made me angry then, but now...I'm curious. What was he like? This Mwu?"

Athrun ran his hand through his navy hair. "To be honest, I don't really know. I only met Commander La Fllaga a few times, mostly I was on Eternal...He seemed like a nice guy, and I know he was very brave, as he gave his life to save this ship.

Kira would know what he was like. Why don't you ask him?"

Neo shook his head. "No. That kid always calls me 'Mwu', regardless of who I am. Maybe I am this 'Mwu', but at the moment, being called by someone else's name makes me uncomfortable. And sometimes, it feels like he's looking through me rather than at me, like he's looking at someone I can't see..."

Athrun nodded. "Kira really looked up to the Commander, he was the one who gave Kira the confidence to pilot in the first place. He told me that he could never repay him for everything he'd done, so when he found you, he said that the least he could do was to bring you back to where you belonged, and to where the Captain was waiting.."

"Hey, now there's a thought!" Athrun said suddenly. "The best person you could ask to find out about the Commander would be..."

"No!" said Neo sternly. "I can't ask her about him. Not the Captain. Practically all I've done since I met her is make her cry. She's just begun to accept me, and asking her about him...I can't do that to her..."

He sighed and looked at the floor, his blue eyes troubled. "It doesn't matter...if you don't know anything about him. I just...ever since I was brought onto this ship, I've felt like I'm becoming someone else. I have weird dreams where I see places I've never been, and people I've never met. And once, when I looked in a mirror, I saw myself with shorter hair, and without this." Neo tapped the long livid scar that stretched across his nose and cheekbones.

He then glanced up at Athrun. "Is that what he looked like?"

At the boy's nod, he smiled ruefully. "I figured that. You see, even though I should be kinda scared of changing into another person, I'm not. It's just that, if I'm becoming someone else, I'd like to know what that person was like..."

Athrun looked thoughtful. "Well...compared to how you were when I first met you...you're much more cheerful now. You're less sarcastic, and you smile a lot more.."

Neo nodded. "That's what I was thinking. It feels natural, like I'm supposed to be this way. That's why I'm not worried. And ...and it seems to make the Captain happy, so..." He looked down, a faint trace of pink on his cheeks.

The younger man hid a smile. He's definitely the Commander...

"After the battle at Jachin Due...after he had died...the Captain was heartbroken. Since they had kept their relationship pretty secret, no-one really knew how much she and the Commander had loved each other. But afterwards, when he had gone, we all saw. She must have adored him. She's very good at hiding her pain, so we only ever saw a glimpse of what she must have been feeling. But it took her a long time to smile properly again...

What she was really like around Mwu..only they know for sure. But she sure seems happy around you..."

Neo's face lit up for a moment, but then the troubled expression returned.

"I...I don't know how I feel about her for sure..Sometimes it feels like a crush...but sometimes it feels like I've loved her, really loved her, for a long time. I want to be with her.. to make her smile, but I could never replace Mwu for her, since she loved him so much. All I know is that being around her feels right, like it's where I should be, so that's where I'll stay for as long as it takes to work this all out...but how...how does she feel about me?"

"I'm sure she likes you. She certainly thinks of you as a friend, you can see that from her reactions to you.."

Neo put his hand to the glass window, the coolness soothing him.

"She let me stay here, and I'm grateful for that...but did she only let me stay because I look and act like Mwu?"

"Do you really think the Captain is that shallow? She let you stay because you wanted to, and because she wanted you to stay. I'm sure of it."

Athrun grinned as the Colonel's earlier words struck home.

"Besides, how do you know you're acting like the Commander? How would you know how he acted?"

Neo blinked. I never thought about that...

"I...I don't know..I never...somehow I just knew...While you were here...when he was here..did he stay by the Captain's side like I do?"

The boy smiled again, and nodded. "Always."

Neo smiled too, this time, the smile reaching his bright blue eyes. "Then if I am becoming him, this Mwu, at least I'll still be where I feel I belong, and happy. And maybe one day, she'll look at me the same way she did when I woke up here..but smiling instead of crying..."

----------------------------------------------------------------

( Today, we have introspective Neo-san. I mean, if someone kept saying that I was another person, I'd be mad, but at the same time, curious to know what this other 'me' was like.

And I chose Athrun for Neo-san to talk to because Athrun is the only one (except maybe Murrue-san) who's on the ship and doesn't always think of him as Mwu. Neo-san seems kinda uncomfortable around Kira-chan to me...

Please read and review! )