A/N: Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer, but her characters are fun to play with, so I'm making them do my bidding for the foreseeable future. Jasper as the God of War and Peter 'just knowing shit' are ideas that belong to Idreamofeddy. The original plot of Longing, however, does belong to me.
Thank you to my beta and pre-reader, shelljayz, my wonderful sister—you are loved and appreciated. Thank you also to my other pre-reader Laurie Whitlock. I appreciate you guys so much!
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Longing Chapter 28 Outtake #1
Thursday, October 28th, 2080
Jacob's POV
It was six o'clock and Leah, Embry, Quil, Seth, Paul and I were at Diamond in the Rough grabbing dinner. It was our day off from wolf duty; the pack was big enough now that the same wolves weren't wearing themselves thin with the responsibilities that came with that part of our heritage, which was especially good for dad and Talise.
A year ago Sam would have been with us but things were just too damn awkward between him, Leah and I. Now that he'd joined the pack, he wasn't so bitter about Leah leaving him for me. He even understood since he'd been told about imprinting and though it had lessened the sting of it, it hadn't dulled the pain of losing the girl he'd hoped to spend the rest of his life with.
The whole thing sucked. We had all been so close before and though I'd never managed to view Leah as a sister type figure, I had been rooting for her and Sam. Then I'd phased and everything changed. One look at Leah and she went from being one of my best friends, from one of my best friends' girlfriend, to my whole world. Everything had gone to hell after that. When Leah phased, our bond only got stronger and there was no staying apart. It was physically impossible, and Sam had to watch us be happy together without understanding how Leah could have gone from loving him so damn much one day to loving me or how he and I could go from being such great friends to me stabbing him in the back by stealing his girl.
Our betrayal nearly killed him and it nearly killed us too. We both missed him like crazy but Leah and I couldn't not be together; we couldn't not be happy. That made things awkward and Sam had to watch us together enough. That he had to see it not only around the Rez but also in our minds when we phased just wasn't right. As much as we missed him, we couldn't force that on him anymore than was absolutely necessary.
We ate at the diner as often as possible because the food was fucking delicious and Laurie, the owner, was old friends with my half-sister, Jocelyn, Talise's daughter from her first marriage. Talise had been a mother to me since I was four and that made Jocelyn just as much my sister as Rachel and Rebecca were. Laurie had no idea we were shapeshifters but she did know we ate enough to feed an army which, in a way, we were. Because of this and her friendship with my sister, she hooked us up. We tried to pay her anyway but she never accepted, so we helped out around the diner from time to time to make up for it. Plus, we just liked her. She was sweet, and she was family.
When the Cullens and the human they'd taken in walked through the door, it had all of us bristling with the exception of Seth. The kid was seriously fucking abnormal. It was like his natural instinct to be physically offended by their presence was broken or something. I didn't necessarily want to react to them this way in light of the real reason we had formed the treaty with them, and they were doing a good thing by taking in the human. I was trying but I was just having a genuinely difficult time turning off those instincts of revulsion and mistrust. The fact that they smelled like shit didn't do much for their case.
I knew I wasn't the only one that was struggling this way, and there were others still whose opinions hadn't changed in the least.
We all overheard Laurie's phone conversation with her delinquent waitress and the only thing we could think was that she'd been too overwhelmed to notice we were here to ask us for help. We'd been on the verge of offering our services when the Cullens' girl beat us to it.
When Laurie tossed an apron at her, I had an idea but I waited until the Cullens left before I brought it up. Of course, if Leah agreed they would figure it out in a heartbeat but it was better if it was already done before they had a chance to protest.
"How do you feel about waitressing, babe?" I asked Leah with a mischievous grin.
My girl was smart and picked up on my idea immediately. The Cullens were a different kind of vampire, and I was trying to give them the benefit of the doubt, but they were still vampires. Someone had to watch out for Bella and Laurie was short two waitresses, one if she hired Bella, and from the way Bella was handling things, I doubted she would walk away from here tonight without a job. She'd been the most receptive to Leah, so my idea made sense.
"I think it's about time I tested out the waters of gainful employment," Leah answered, grinning back.
"I was hoping you would say that," I said. I couldn't resist leaning down to give her a kiss. Just as I swiped my tongue across her bottom lip and she'd granted me entrance to that delectable mouth of hers, I felt a sharp poke to my shoulder.
I broke away from my girl, ready to break whoever had done it in half. The offending party was Paul. Of fucking course it was Paul. I glared fiercely at him and so did Leah.
"What the hell?" I demanded.
Paul rolled his eyes. "For starters, that's fucking gross. If I wanted to see people shoving their tongues down each other's throats, I'd watch porn," he said. Seth, Embry, and Quil choked on their drinks. Leah and I shuddered. "Whatever, like we don't have to watch enough of that shit when we're phased, and I will get a job here if that's your plan to keep an eye out."
"Hell, no," Leah shut him down. "You were a total dick the other day, and you'll just use working with her as an excuse to try to get in her pants!"
That was true. Paul had reacted badly to her because she'd reeked of vampire and some other vibe none of us could place, but she was feisty and that's how he liked his women. Plus, the girl was outrageously beautiful. Anyone with eyes could see that. She wasn't more beautiful than my Leah but if I wasn't a taken man, I would have been tempted to go there.
"Leah's right, dude," Seth agreed. "She doesn't like you, but she seemed to at least like my sister a little."
I didn't just want this to keep an eye on Bella. I really, truly wanted it for Leah. She didn't have any female friends and I thought she might be able to have that with this girl.
"Sorry, jackass," I said with shrug and a smirk, "but you're out of luck, and I'm your Beta, next in line to be Alpha. What I say goes."
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Longing Chapter 28 Outtake #2
Saturday, October 30th, 2080
RPOV
The boys were out hunting together, feeding on carnivores and doing God knows what else. Probably whipping out their cocks and a measuring tape though they'd already done that countless times. Esme and Alice had gone to Port Angeles to check out the surprisingly great little antique shop there for an interior design project of Esme's. If our mother came home without anything for our house as well I would be shocked.
I was taking this opportunity to go on an overnight hunting trip with Charlotte. I had a serious bone to pick with her.
We'd decided to take my BMW several miles in the opposite direction of the one the boys' had gone, which was northeast. Neither of us wanted to risk running into them. We needed some serious girl time and Charlotte was my best friend. Alice and I were close, but we just weren't interested in the same things … other than looking good. Lord knows we both fucking loved looking like goddesses; though I won that contest every time. I'm a vain bitch. I'd never bothered to deny it and I never will, but at least I had good reason to be. I wasn't one of those delusional idiots that looked in the mirror and saw something that wasn't really there.
Most people, mature ones anyway, could acknowledge and respect that others had different passions and opinions. Alice and I weren't so great at that, but I had never claimed to be mature and Alice's unique situation, the whole not remembering shit thing, didn't always lend maturity to her character. Charlotte, on the other hand, was the poster child for the aforementioned mature respect and acknowledgment shit, and she brought that out in me. I was a better person when I was around her just like I was when I was around Emmett or Jasper.
After being my best friend for the past fifty-six years, she knew me well enough to have figured out I needed to get something off my chest, and she wasn't anxious about it. Her body language and facial expression read patience and support, but there was no surprise there, and there was certainly no apprehension.
Her lack of dread was another thing I loved about her. I could be a scary bitch, and there were times when I genuinely enjoyed being feared. It could be so much fun, but there were also times when I wanted nothing more than for people to hurl shit back at me just as hard as I dished it out. I cared about people's feelings— sometimes—but I liked showing my quick wit and sharp tongue, and I craved a friend who could keep up, who could predict when I needed this and know when I needed more supportive, less harsh interaction. Charlotte was that friend. She split her time being cool as a cucumber and handing me my ass—at times to give me what I craved and in others to put me in my place. I hated that. It pissed me off, but I loved that she had the balls to do it. It made me admire and respect her.
Charlotte and I drove for two and a half hours, ending up in Deschutes National Forest near Bend, Oregon. After we'd chowed down, me laughing my ass off at the look on Charlotte's face as she fed on a cougar, we drove another couple of hours to Rockaway Beach. We traveled until we came across an impressive rock formation and leaped nimbly to the top of it, taking a seat on a cliff face and letting our legs dangle off the edge.
"What's on your mind, Rose?" she asked, not waiting for me to broach the subject. I wouldn't have waited to get into it because I'd rather cut through all the shit than tiptoe around issues like a pansy, but Charlotte was all about preemptive strikes and didn't wait around, even for my minimal dawdling.
I dug my fingers into the ground by my leg, pulling up a handful of dirt and rocks, and then started lobbing the bigger pieces over the cliff. We both watched as the stones skipped and skimmed the surface of the ocean as I thought about what I would say. I never minced words, but I was a little nervous about what she might say once the conversation got started. That didn't mean I was going to be all nice and sugarcoat things. Charlotte was my best friend, but I wasn't going to change for her. The only person I'd do that for was Emmett, but he would never ask me to.
"When Jasper joined the family 96 years ago you gave me hell for the way I treated him," I started, unable to keep a trace of bitterness from my voice. "Bella treats Jasper like shit, but you haven't said a word to her. What the fuck is that about, Charlotte?"
She pulled her legs up off the side and turned to face me, folding them Indian style. I mimicked her.
"You're upset," she said calmly, observing me keenly.
I rolled my eyes. "What on earth gave you that idea?" I snapped sarcastically. Charlotte didn't respond, and I wanted her to. I wanted her to fight with me, to show some passion. I wanted to know I meant something to her. I was a confident bitch, but even I needed reassurance sometimes. "I'm not upset, Charlotte, I'm fucking furious! You hated me for twenty goddamn years because of the way I treated him. It took another ten for us to truly get over our shit before we became good friends and another ten to become best friends. She comes along and treats Jasper like fucking scum, and you don't seem to mind at all!"
Charlotte's expression didn't change. "She's different."
I was seething now. I'd been seething since I met Bella fucking Crawfield. I hated her. I hated that Alice loved her. I hated that Esme and Carlisle worshiped the ground she walked on. I hated that Carlisle had convinced me to vote for the little bitch to move in by appealing to my morals. Those morals of mine agreed that everyone should have a safe and loving place to live, even her. I also, begrudgingly, worried about what would happen if she ever found out we were vampires, mostly because of what it would mean for us but also, kind of, for her, which made me hate that I had morals at all. I was beginning to regret becoming a better person. I was bitter that Carlisle was willing to give her a choice between becoming a vampire and staying human if that's what it came down to when he hadn't been considerate enough to offer me that literally life-altering decision, though I was simultaneously, contradictorily, pleased by it as well. I had come to terms with my existence as a vampire a while ago and was even happy about it to a degree simply for the fact that it enabled me to spend eternity with Emmett. If there was one thing I could not deny, it was that one lifetime with him would never be long enough. I also hated that she was so fucking beautiful. She was even more beautiful than I'd been as a human. If it came down to it and she chose this life over a human one, her beauty would eclipse mine and that was not cool, but most of all, I hated how enamored my husband was with her. I hated how his face lit up when she was around and how he'd practically considered her family from the moment he'd met her despite our little showdown and how much it had upset me; but Emmett was my conscience, and he'd eventually managed to convince me I was wrong for what I'd done even though I wasn't sorry for it. Okay, maybe I was but only a little. It was irritating, and I was hoping she would give me an excuse to kill her. The prospect that I might feel minutely bad about it was even more irritating, but that irritation wouldn't be enough to keep me from doing it. That didn't mean I wanted any threats or danger to befall my family, but a girl could dream, and protecting my family came above all else.
"How is she different?" I ground out, my teeth gritted together so hard it was a miracle I got any words passed my lips at all.
"I never told you why I had such a problem with you, did I?"
Some people said there are no stupid questions. Those people were wrong. Charlotte already knew she hadn't, and I'd never asked. We talked about almost everything...everything but the Southern Vampire Wars. That was a taboo subject; everyone knew it, and no one asked. It didn't take a genius to figure out her reasoning had something to do with that, and I wasn't fucking stupid. That would inevitably lead to someone sinking their teeth into me, no matter our closeness, and I was too damn beautiful to sport scars…except for those I'd gotten from Emmett, of course. Those I bore proudly.
"No," I responded, not bothering to hide my impatience. I didn't care if she knew I was annoyed.
"You were afraid of him," she said simply.
My mouth dropped open before I snapped it shut, setting it in a stubborn line. I had been afraid of Jasper but hell if I was going to admit that.
"It's okay," she reassured me. "You should have been."
Now I was confused, and Charlotte noticed. Sometimes it irked me that she was so damn observant and that she could read me so well, a girl had to have some mystery, but in this case, it didn't bother me.
"He was tryin' to move on from that time in his life, Rose," Charlotte explained, looking and sounding pained. "He was tryin' to escape that person but tryin' to do that was damn near impossible. He's still having a hard time with that, even after all this time. He may not have seemed like he wanted to at first but he did and still does. Your fear just reminded him and made it even more difficult for him to do that. That's why I hated and resented you."
I scowled. "How the hell was I not supposed to be afraid of him?" I argued, forgetting I'd made a pact not to admit this. "You just said I should have been!"
"I didn't say it made sense," she said with a shrug. "You weren't there, Rose. If you think he was scary when you first met him. God, you have no fuckin' idea...and you weren't there. You don't know what he went through. I didn't even see it for a long time, and when I finally did and what I did? I only witnessed a few months, Rose. Peter only witnessed a few decades but Jasper was there for one hundred and six years. That's how long he endured that shit. You just have no fuckin' clue."
I shuddered. I couldn't imagine what they'd been through. I knew it was bad and that Jasper had gotten the worst of it. I felt for them, I truly did, but I didn't feel sorry for them. Was it heartwrenching? There was no doubt but everyone got dealt heaping piles of shit in their lives. Theirs was the war. Mine was Royce King. We all had to figure out how to muddle through it.
"You could easily change that," I told her. I might as well take the risk and push my luck. It was the most she'd ever talked about the war.
"I could," she agreed, "but I won't."
Eh, whatever. I knew she wouldn't bite.
"What does any of this have to do with you not calling Bella on her shit?"
"She's not afraid of him," Charlotte said. "Not once in all the time I've seen them interact has she ever shown an ounce of fear. He needs that. He also needs someone to call him on his shit."
"Isn't that what he has you and Peter for?" I snapped. "Hell, he may not listen to all of us the way he listens to the two of you, but that's what the rest of us are here for!"
"He doesn't listen to her exactly," she said, "but he does respond to her. Pete and I aren't quite sure how but he does."
"And that's a good thing?" I questioned, still utterly confused.
"We don't know yet," she answered, "but it could be. That's why I can't call her on it, and from what I can tell, I think there's even a little part of him that enjoys the shit she gives him."
"Why the fuck would he enjoy it?" My tone was incredulous, though I could acknowledge it wasn't the most far-fetched thing. My views on Charlotte occasionally handing me my ass was a prime example, but she only did it when I gave her a good reason to. Jasper had never given Bella an excuse to treat him like shit, and it bugged me. Most of the time I wanted to rip her to pieces for it, but I held back because, while I knew that Jasper would appreciate me sticking up for him, his annoyance would far outweigh that gratitude.
"Jasper doesn't often meet people that challenge him, and I don't mean calling him on his shit. I mean it in a totally different way that I can't really explain," Charlotte said. "He needs that too, but that doesn't mean I like holding my tongue."
I huffed.
"I'm sorry, Rosie," she said emphatically, and she did mean it. She never said or did things she didn't. "I love you. I would die for you, but I love Jasper more. God forbid if it ever came down to a choice, I would choose him over you every time, so if Bella being here could be a good thing for him, I have to support that. That doesn't mean you're not my best friend."
Charlotte was nothing if not blunt. Her words stung, but they weren't anything I didn't already know, and I would certainly never doubt the status of our friendship.
Unfortunately, if Bella might be good for my "twin" somehow, I would just have to grin and bear her presence. It was too bad that she had so much potential for someone so annoying. That potential and the fact that I recognized it fucking irked me.
There was one thing I just didn't get.
"If her being here could be such a good thing for Jasper, why the fuck did you vote 'no'?" I snapped. I wasn't angry with Charlotte, but she wasn't making any sense. She was always supposed to make sense. I was the only one who was allowed not to and get away with it.
"For starters, Jasper needed someone to support him, to be on his side," Charlotte explained. "Plus, Pete kept everything close to the vest before the vote. You obviously don't want Bella here," she countered, "so why did you vote 'yes'?"
I flopped onto my back. "Because since I started to get a handle on my trauma and became a more balanced person, I developed feelings outside of those for the family, and Carlisle appealed to my morals like a douche," I groused irritably. "Mostly though, I did it for Emmett. The look he gets whenever Bella's brought up or around... she makes him happy. I can be a cold bitch, but I have my moments, and I love him more than anything. I would go to hell and back, lasso the moon and all that shit, if that made him happy. God, that is so fucking cheesy, not to mention cliche!"
But it was true.
"You are such a fuckin' marshmallow, Rosalie Hale," Charlotte teased, giving me a genuine smile.
I smiled back. It was wide and happy.
"Rosalie McCarty-Hale," I corrected.
"Shouldn't it be Rosalie Hale-McCarty?" she asked.
"Yes," I answered, "but I don't like it that way. Putting his name first is just another way of showing him that he's more important to me than anything, especially a name."
"Alright then," she said with a nod. "Rosalie McCarty-Hale."
"Damn right," I said proudly and then switched back to our original topic, my expression turning deadly. "I meant it when I said I'd kill her."
"I know. If she ends up being bad for Jasper, I'll help you," she told me matter-of-factly. "I do kind of like her though."
I scowled again. Bella fucking Crawfield!
