Guess I am back!
Watching all the trailers for ELEX II got me hyped up and I also returned to play ELEX a bit these days. Plus talking with a dear friend of mine (hi Maxkimy!) really got me inspired to grab some old ideas I had for this series of fics.
Back then I didn't feel confident enough to write them but... well a few years have past between chapter 5 and chapter 7 and I wanted to put the gained writing experience to work.
I also wanted to address the creepy voice you can sometimes hear in the game. There are a couple of theories what exactly this girls humming voice is but none is actually confirmed, as far as I know. Though I tried to connect it a little bit to the amazing trailer for ELEX II that also comes with one amazing song, sung by KoRn lead singer Jonathan Davis. Lyrics are quoted at the beginning of this fic.
Also, just as a warning: this fic contains some heavy Falk/Jax action and implied sexual content.


I'm not afraid to die

got the prize in sight

nothing will stop my drive

and I'll fight til the end of time

nothing will undermine

the hate I have inside

Everything

everything

everything dies.


Elex withdrawal was hell.

It ate the mind. The body.

Jax was used to the constant pulsing between his temples, right behind the eyes. Some days he could ignore it easily, when the sun was shining and he could concentrate on a mission. Other days the headaches got worse and transformed into a hot knife, rammed right into his skull.

This was one of those days.

The sun was about to go down but the fires of Ignadon ignited the night. They were on a cliff, at the shore of a calm yet deadly lava lake that filled the air with acid steam. Rusty, old metal creaked in the distance under the weight of the night wind that started to gain strength. To Jax it sounded like there was a whisper underneath. His mind was playing him tricks – the wind, howling through these ancient buildings, sounded like a humming voice.

He shook his head.

"Are you alright?"

Falk's voice next to him pulled Jax back into reality.

"Yeah. All good," Jax grunted. A lie. Not only one he told Falk, though. He also told it himself. And still he had to stand still a moment, wiping cold sweat from his forehead. Damn. He was sweating like a Berserker who got dropped into the Valley of the Damned but didn't feel hot. Which was strange – he was clad from tip to toe into high rank legate armour of the Clerics and there was a damn sulphuric lava lake close by yet Jax felt cold. Those things never happened in Xarcor, which was literally covered in ice and snow! Those things never happened on Elex!

"Just need... a moment to catch my breath," Jax then said and cursed internally that he sounded to exhausted. He leaned against the sad remnant of a tree and watched the dark and boiling lava lake in the distance but it seemed like the horizon just slipped out of his focus all the time. Jax blinked and rubbed his eyes.

"Just need to..." he continued completely jaded, not even able to finish this sentence because a hot wave of pain washed over him and made his whole body tremble.

Jax knew there was an Elex potion in his pocket. He just had to grab it and the headache would stop, the pain, too. Yet he didn't. If anyone could get through the withdrawal then it was him, for fucks sake. He'd survived the crash of his glider. He'd survived Kallax. He'd survived this long and he would survive the withdrawal as well.

But damn he just couldn't stand on his legs any more right now. He turned around, his back pressed against the tree, slowly sliding down until he was sitting on the cold ground.

"You are unwell," Falk concluded, crouching down in front of Jax to take a good look at him.

"My, thank you, Falk. I wasn't aware," Jax said dryly.

"That's why I told you," Falk smiled, completely lost to any kind of sarcasm.

Jax just stared at him for a moment.

"You should take a rest. It doesn't appear to be useful to continue our journey right now," Falk continued but Jax just shook his head.

"It's okay, I'm fine. Just need a moment, told you," he said through gritted teeth and another wave of pain washed over him – before he simply lost his consciousness.


Much time couldn't have passed, Jax thought, because he woke up in the house ruin next to the tree where he'd dropped down. He found himself lying on the old bed, stripped off his armour and only clad in the plain dark shirt and pants of his legate garment. Slowly he tried to sit up. Jax swallowed hard. He would not allow himself to throw up now.

After a few seconds of just sitting still and not moving, his stomach seemed to calm down, at least enough so not to vomit on the ground immediately. He couldn't hear or see Falk anywhere. The only thing he could hear was the wind in the distance, still howling and whistling through the old ruins of an old time. Jax concentrated for a moment on it. It really did sound like a voice, humming a sad melody...

Falk came in through the broken door, holding something steaming in his hands. Jax noticed the strong scent of herbs and it reminded him of Caja's medicines and he had to frown immediately. That stuff was awful.

"I picked some herbs outside. Caja said those are good for a hangover," Falk said, handing Jax the cup, expecting him to drink.

Jax didn't take it. Instead he just raised one eyebrow.

"Falk. I am not hangover."

"Really? Odd. You look like you went on a bender. And you show all the symptoms. I noticed it often enough on Ray," Falk tilted his head a bit but seemed to notice how Jax avoided his gaze.

"Oh" he then said, "it is your addiction, isn't it. I can get you some raw Elex if you want me to!" he offered, happily.

"No!" Jax said, a bit too hasty, a bit too angry, so Falk took a startled step back. Those damn naïve eyes. Falk really had no clue what Jax went through right now...

"I mean... no. Thanks."

Jax took in a deep breath and rubbed his temple, eyes closed. When he opened them, he saw how Falk handed him the cup again.

"Hangover or not, I assume this mix still helps."

"It smells awful," Jax groaned.

"It tastes awful, too," Falk answered simply.

"Wow. I feel so well taken care of."

"Happy to help!" Again the sarcasm went over Falk's head. Jax couldn't say he was surprised. He used to be like this too... on Elex, he never understood any annunciation in someone's voice. He could never tell if someone was joking or if someone used sarcasm, if someone was honest or lied. Things really have changed...

Jax grabbed the cup, even if it was just to make Falk happy, and downed the drink. At least the horrible taste managed to distract him from the whispering wind outside and the pain in his head, even if it was just for a short moment. The weakness made him angry but all the hate he held inside wasn't any use if he would break down again in a few steps. Maybe he really should get some rest, at least a couple of hours of sleep... that sure would do wonders. And this house ruin was a good place for that. Protected and sitting on the edge of a cliff, it offered a save and secure spot with a good overview over the area. One could see enemies coming from miles away from here. If it just wasn't for this damn wind whistling through holes in the brick wall and broken windows all the time. It made such a creepy sound. Yeah, great. Jax, the Beast of Xarcor, was crept out by some weird noises the wind made! Oh how the mighty have fallen.

Jax wasn't even sure any more that it was the wind he heard. It really sounded like the voice of a young girl but it had to be the wind.

"Falk... do you hear that?" he mumbled.

"Your words? Yes, obviously."

Jax rolled his eyes on this answer. Sometimes Falk could just be so... dense. And adorable. Incredible how he often managed to be both at the same time.

"No, I don't mean my own words, dammit. I mean this... whistling. From the wind. It sounds really strange."

Falk listened for a couple of moments, standing completely still but then he shook his head.

"Can't confirm. I don't hear anything strange and sure no wind. It is windless outside, Jax."

It was... what? Jax' eyes wandered towards one of the windows. It was now that he noticed that the dry and dead branches of the tree weren't moving at all. Suddenly Jax felt cold sweat on his skin again.

"Then... what is it that I am hearing...?" he mumbled. Jax wasn't afraid – but he was extremely tense.

"Jax, may I suggest that this is an awful timing to go insane?"

"... what?!"

"You're hearing voices in your head. That is what happens to insane people."

"First of all: I am not going insane! Second: is there ever a proper timing to go insane...?"

"Hm. Well observed. I suppose not. My point still stands, though. If you go insane now, I might have to take you down. I wouldn't enjoy that. I like you a lot!"

Jax blinked. He was oddly flattered by Falk's last words, but...

"Wait. You would try and kill me if I go mad?" he scoffed.

"That was a joke," Falk said and smiled.

"Bad moment, Falk. Really bad moment to try and discover your humour," Jax groaned and let a hand wander over his face. He felt like shit. Whatever herbs Falk had picked, they didn't help. The only thing they'd done was leaving a bad taste on Jax' tongue. The weird voice seemed to be louder now than before. And he couldn't tell himself any more that it was the wind, no matter how hard he tried. Something called out to him. Sung to him. A sad and twisted song. There were no spoken words and yet Jax seemed to understand them nevertheless.

Everything dies.

Jax gasped. These unspoken yet clear words rammed like a glowing bolt into his brain. It almost made him cry out from pain but instead he just groaned, his fingers clawed into the skin of his head while he bend over.

"What is this... fucking..."

Suddenly he felt a hand on his back. Jax hasn't even noticed how Falk sat down next to him but now he was fully aware of his presence. Slowly he lifted his head again and lowered his arms.

"You should rest. I can take watch," Falk said and was just about to get up again – but Jax held him back.

"Can you maybe just... stay?" Jax heard himself say, with a trembling and weak voice. Just hearing himself like this almost made him throw up from anger. Weak. So weak. Pathetic.

"Sure," Falk answered, simple, unconcerned and calm. Strangely it was exactly what Jax needed and wanted now. No one who would bend over him now, face full of worry. No one who would talk too much now, prying about this voice. No one who tried to say shit like 'you will be better in a moment, just hold on'. There was no one who knew want he went through and Jax hated those who pretend.

But Falk, Falk never pretended anything at all.

He was just Falk. Always.

"Can you... lie down with me?" Jax asked hesitant. Falk's presence was oddly soothing. He didn't want him to go away. Also Jax was still freezing – a body next to him would hopefully made him feel better. Jax had stopped to wonder why Falk radiated body heat. Whatever Konrad had done, he sure had done it right.

Falk waited until Jax laid down again before he tried to squeeze himself between the wall and Jax; this bed really was small. It was creaking slightly under their combined weight but held. Finally Jax closed his eyes again with a sigh. His hand searched for Falk's arm, grabbed it and put it over his chest. Falk remained completely still like this as Jax closed his eyes.


Jax didn't know how long he's been asleep but he woke up when he felt how Falk finally yet hesitantly wrapped his arm tighter around Jax' body and carefully pulled him closer.

"What – afraid to crush me?" Jax muttered.

"I am much stronger than you."

"Tsk. Not believing that until I see it."

"Also your body is surprisingly soft." Falk's thumb caressed Jax' side softly. "It feels... nice. I think I admire this feeling."

Jax opened his eyes and stole a glance at Falk. He wasn't sure if it was Falk's presence or the mere fact that he'd caught some rest (or maybe the herb mix after all... ) but the voice in Jax' head was quiet now. He still felt like shit, though. Yet under the pain in his head, his sweating and freezing body and his tense muscles, he also felt something else. Something warm. It seemed to spread through his stomach and made his heart beat a little bit faster. Maybe another symptom of the Elex withdrawal? How many symptoms were there?!

Jax noticed that Falk wasn't paying him much attention. It seemed like his interest was on the point where his arm was wrapped over Jax' body. Jax also noticed that Falk's hand started to move, slowly but curious. Over Jax' side, his hip, even explored his stomach for a moment. Jax wasn't sure why but it made his breath hitch.

Jax has never considered himself homosexual, or even sexual at all, yet as he studied Falk's profile, he felt something... stirring inside. He stared at Falk's muscular frame, defined by tight, black cleric armour and he found himself unable to look away. Falk's body sure was a work of art that now caused a sensation in Jax that he... actually couldn't remember if he'd ever felt it before at all. He felt slightly light-headed and weak. Jax told himself that this was still the Elex withdrawal. It was as if all the blood in his body had drained. And then, he discovered exactly where it had drained to as he felt a throbbing somewhere he didn't know could throb.

With a heavy and sudden realization Jax learned what desire was.

"I am not soft," he grunted.

"I wasn't referring to your state of mind but rather to your body," Falk explained.

"Not soft either."

To show him, he took Falk's hand and shoved it under his shirt to let him feel up the chiselled abs on Jax' stomach.

Curiously, Falk let his fingers wander over the coarse skin. His touch send a hot sensation through Jax' whole body. He'd never felt like this before, almost feverish but even worse than this heat, was this burning desire, this craving, this instinctive need to by touched by Falk somewhere else, too.

Jax let out a low yet needy groan, he couldn't even control the noises he made any more.

"Are you feeling alright?" Falk asked concerned.

"I'm... I'm fine," Jax muttered. "It actually feels... feels very good. Think it would feel even better if you could... just..."

"Anything you want, Jax."

Just these mere words send a shiver through his whole body.

"Lower."

With a questioning look, Falk's gaze wandered away from Jax' face, down towards his pants.

"Oh," he said curiously, "interesting view."

"Dammit, Falk, just... just touch me."

Jax was completely worked up by now. He felt uneasy and hot and like he was about to burst from tension. Some raw, carnal instinct called out to him, told him to just grab Falk's hand and shove it down into his pants but the last conscious thought in his head told him not to force Falk to do anything he didn't want to do.

It turned out that force wasn't needed anyway.

Swiftly, Falk had actually opened Jax' belt and not a moment later Jax let out a satisfied and relieved groan. His eyes slipped close and he moved around in the bed a little, instinctively giving Falk better access.

"You were right," Falk hummed, "not soft at all!"


Jax blinked sleepy, annoyed by a ray of sunshine that had found its way right into his face. He frowned and turned his head with an unhappy grunt. It took him a few seconds to actually wake up. The first thing he noticed was the absence of any voice in his head or pain in his body. Even his constant headaches had dulled into a bearable pulsing behind his forehead.

The second thing he noticed was the hand on his naked stomach, exposed by a shirt that had been half-heartedly rolled up, as no one has been bothered enough to take it off. Jax also noticed that his belt was still unbuckled, his pants still open and exposing him just enough to feel embarrassed.

He felt Falk moving next to him, propping himself up on one elbow.

"You're awake," he stated the obvious.

Jax turned his head a bit and gazed up to Falk. Damn, he looks gorgeous right now, Jax thought, with his tousled hair and these smiling eyes.

"Yeah and I feel a lot better than yesterday," Jax said and fumbled on his belt, closing his pants. Falk immediately beamed a smile at him.

"Sorry that I couldn't... pay you back there," Jax continued and pulled his shirt down before he sat up.

"Pay me back? But I didn't lend you any Elex shards."

"No. That's... that's not what I mean. I guess I wasn't in any conscious state of mind to return the favour and to... you know. Make you feel good, too."

The proverbial question mark could be seen bright and big over Falk's head. He blinked a few times and clearly tried to put some sense into Jax' words.

"I don't understand. You did make me feel good," he finally said.

Now it was Jax who was confused.

"You seemed to be very happy," Falk explained, "and so relaxed afterwards. I think I've never seen you like this. You were all tense before and under a lot of pain but then you weren't. I would say..." he put a finger on his chin and pondered for a few moments over his next words until he smiled in sudden realization. "... it brought me pleasure to pleasure you!"

Jax chocked on a breath of air and coughed.

"That is one way to put it, I suppose..."

"Also you made some clearly interesting noises, I have to say."

"Let's forget about those, okay?"

"Some almost brute grunting and-"

"Come on, Falk. We're not discussing that now," Jax interrupted bluntly. He was about to get out of the bed when he hesitated for a moment.

"Yesterday you said you like me. A lot."

"Yes," Falk confirmed.

"How can you tell?"

Falk was quiet for a few moments and had a strange look on his face. For a second or two Jax feared that he'd broke him now, given his AI or whatever was running through Falk's circuitry too much to chew on, a question quite too philosophical, too human to answer. After all, Jax himself wasn't sure if he could tell.

"I found that some things bring me joy. They leave a pleasant impression on me and I naturally seek them out to experience that again. I enjoy your company, I enjoy being close to you and I enjoy to explore your body in many interesting ways, like I just did this night. The only logical conclusion to this is, that I like and adore you, Jax. To me, that makes a lot of sense. Don't you think?"

A smile crept up on Jax' stern face.

"I like you too, Falk. A lot."

"Acknowledged", Falk said and stood up.

"Wow, such a romantic," Jax laughed dryly.

Yes, he felt good. He felt incredible. Jax held so much hate inside and hate and the thirst for revenge were what helped him to keep going, helped him to survive everything. But under all the hate, he started to realizes, was something else, too. And it just made him feel as strong. And what ever this voice, this song, had tried to tell him – that everything dies – Jax knew for certain that he was not afraid to die.