Chapter Eighteen: It's All Downhill From Here

You can't save me
You can't change me
Well I'm waiting for my wakeup call
And everything's my fault

Lindsey

My parents called halfway through Parent's Day to tell me that they weren't coming. They apparently wouldn't have had time to get here, which means they forgot about it until the last minute. I don't really care much anyway.

Thomas never showed up for lunch, which I took as a really bad sign. Since my parents didn't show, I decided to go back to our room right after lunch. The door was unlocked, so I walked in.

I found Thomas lying on the floor near his bed. He was in pretty bad shape. He had a huge black and blue mark across his right cheek, with a long cut in the middle of it. It was the only visible wound, but I was sure that there were more.

"Why didn't you just let me stay?" I asked him. He opened his eyes and groaned.

"He can't find out that you know. Or he'll do worse," he said. I helped him get up, which took about ten minutes. Once he was a little more comfortable on his bed, I sat down next to him.

"What happened?" I asked him.

"He challenged me to fight him," Thomas said, wincing as he moved around a little. "Of course I didn't…so he did this to prove that I'm a pussy. I always will be when it comes to him," he confessed.

"You have to tell someone," I said, concerned.

"I can't. Who's gonna believe me?" he asked, looking at the wall.

"Your mom…the Headmaster…the police…" I suggested.

"My mom knows. She doesn't stop him," he said, tearing up.

"How could any mother subject her child to that?" I asked.

"It's not her fault. The one time she tried to stand in the way, he broke her leg with a baseball bat. And he threatened to kill her if she did it again. I told her that I could handle it, so she backed off for good," he explained.

"So why not tell someone else?"

"The Headmaster wouldn't do a damn thing about it. My father donates a shitload of money to this school, and they'd lose it all if they accused him of anything. And to those assholes, money is a hell of a lot more important than students. The same thing goes with the police. He could pay anyone to help him."

"Is there anything I can do?" I asked him. I have to tell someone, but who?

"Yeah. Just tell my teachers that I fell down the stairs and got hurt pretty bad. Say that I won't be in class until next week. I don't think I'll be able to go," he said, rubbing his eyes. I could tell that he was trying not to cry in front of me.

"I'll go do that now. Anything else?"

"No. Just take your keys and lock the door behind you."

"Okay." I think he was afraid that his dad might come back.

"Thanks Linds. You're a good friend."

"Don't mention it," I said, walking out.

Nate

As soon as I got back to my room, I locked the door behind me. I pulled pills out of my pocket and lined them up on the dresser. I had taken five out of the bottle. Craig wouldn't miss them.

How could I be so stupid? I thought I was ready for a serious relationship. Don't get me wrong; the past two months have been some of the best in my life. But this is all my fault. If I hadn't told Craig not to take his pill, he probably wouldn't be doing this. And I know that now I probably won't be able to get him to start taking it again.

I sat in Craig's room for an hour, deciding whether or not to take the pills. That's at least a little good, right? That I had to think about it and I didn't do it immediately. I'd say that I'm getting better, but I'm probably not since I decided to take them.

I plucked two pills off my dresser and put the remaining three in a sock in the top drawer. I was about to drop the two into my mouth, when someone knocked on the door. Without hesitation, I quickly swallowed the pills before I answered it.

"Wow, I haven't seen you in awhile. Like since we started school," I commented as Rex walked into the room. "What do you want?"

"This is my room too you know," he said, glaring at me.

"It's not like you're ever in here," I shot back. "Someone break up with you or something? Two someones maybe?" I guessed. There wasn't any other reason for him to be here. When he wasn't fucking Jesse he was fucking that teacher.

"Actually, yeah," he said, plopping down on his bed. Wow…I wasn't sure what to say. Serves him right.

"I was just leaving anyway," I lied, walking out of the room and slamming the door behind me.

I decided to go for a little trip rather than stay in this stupid school. As soon as I walked out of the building and down to the bus stop, I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket. The pills were already kicking in a little and I felt better.

"Hey man," I said to the guy I called. "I need some more Percocet," I said.

"Wow, it's been awhile. What'd you do, try and quit?" he asked, laughing.

"No…I've just been on some other stuff. But I need the Perc real bad," I told him.

"What you been on?" he asked.

"Lithium. It's not really that important. Just get me some. I'll be there in an hour."

I slammed my phone shut as the bus pulled up.

Marco

"I can't do this Jess," I told him, sighing and wiping the tears off my face. "And you can't either."

"Why not? This is what I want," he said, frowning.

"But it's not what I want," I whispered. I wasn't sure if that was the truth; but we'd both just gotten out of relationships, and it didn't feel right.

"So all of the fooling around, all the kisses, the shower…that meant nothing to you?" he asked softly, trying not to cry. "It was just a way to pass the time."

"We were having fun Jesse. I thought we both understood that. We shouldn't have even done it. We had boyfriends!" I protested.

"But we don't have any now," he pointed out, backing away from me a little.

"Look, I want to be your friend. You're one of my best friends, and I don't want to lose you," I said.

"You just did."

Remy

I was reeling inside.Kelly has a wife? So what's he been doing with me all along?

I don't know why I was so jealous. I just didn't want anyone else to be with him. But I still wanted to have Theresa too.

I somehow convinced my parents to let her stay here. I told them that we were just gonna spend some time together and I'd send her home later on the train. We'd just had sex again, and the entire time, all I thought about was Kelly.

A knock on my door startled me out of my thoughts. Theresa was still getting dressed, and I threw my boxers on. Sure enough, there was Kelly, standing on the other side of my door.

"You know you're not allowed to have girls in here Remy," he said, motioning towards Theresa.

"I forgot," I said, glaring at him.

"Well, I'll have to escort her out of the building. And then we'll have to have a meeting about the consequences first thing Monday morning," he said.

I kissed Theresa goodbye before watching her leave with him. I was afraid of what would happen once the two of them were alone, but he wouldn't let me follow them.

Now what?

Jesse

How can I be friends with someone who uses me like that? I love Marco, but I won't let him do to me what Rex did.

I'd been walking around for hours, ever since I left the room. I decided to go talk to Rex. I wasn't going to take him back, but I wanted to have what we used to have. I wanted to be good friends with him.

I used to be able to tell him all my secrets, and hopefully I still can.

"Rex?" I asked into the dark room. I knew he was in here.

"Come to take me back?" he asked. I closed the door and followed the sound of his voice to his bed. I sat down next to him.

"You know I can't do that," I whispered, instantly feeling wetness in my eyes. I'm still in love with him, even after all he did.

"Alyssa broke up with me too," he said. My stomach squirmed around. "I don't have anything anymore."

"I'm sorry."

He pulled me down next to him, wrapped his arms around me and whispered in my ear.

"One last time? To say goodbye?" he asked.

Before I could answer, I felt him pulling my pants down.

We had the best sex in four years, probably because I knew he wasn't with Alyssa anymore.

Completely naked, we huddled close under the blankets, panting. I felt his hot breath on my neck and gave in.

"I still love you," I breathed out, kissing him.

"I love you too."

And just like that, we were back together.

Rory

"Where did either of us go wrong?" I asked Andrew. We were sitting on our floor, backs against my bed, talking.

"I don't know. He turned me down though. Maybe the two of you should be together," he said, talking about Marco.

"I don't think so. He'll come around; he always does," I replied. A part of me felt empty without Marco, but it wasn't right to make him love me when he wants someone else.

"Even without Marco, you have that familiar look of love in your eye," Andrew commented, smiling a little.

"That's because I love you Andrew. I always have. You're the person I'm meant to be with," I confessed, looking into his eyes.

"You know it can't be that way. You're my brother," Andrew whispered, looking away.

"We're not even real brothers. I've never thought of you that way. I know you love me too. So why won't you be with me?" I begged, leaning closer to him.

Andrew looked straight into my eyes and leaned forward, kissing me hard. I'd been waiting for that kiss for the longest time. For two years. I finally got it and I felt my heart jump in my chest.

"That's all I can ever give you," he said.

My heart fell and tears formed at the corners of my eyes.

An awkward silence fell, but I didn't leave. I couldn't; I knew he was right.

Andrew

"Why'd you faint when that teacher walked by?" I asked suddenly, breaking the silence when I remembered this afternoon.

"I'd rather not talk about it," he replied, looking away from me.

"I'm sorry Rory," I said, feeling bad. I knew he was in love with me, but I never wanted to accept it.

"I understand; I really do. But sometimes I feel like I'd die without you," he replied.

"Let's do it right now; together," I said, pulling my razor out of my pocket, where I always kept it.

"Andrew…" he trailed off, looking at it wearily.

"One for me," I said, dragging the blade across my skin.

"You didn't slit it the right way you know," Rory told me.

"Of course I know that. Quit stalling or I'll do it right, and my blood'll be all over the carpet before you call 911," I said.

"I don't…" Rory trailed off, not finishing the sentence.

"Don't worry. I'm not gonna kill you. We can be twisted blood brothers. Almost like the real thing. We'll cross our wrists over each other's and it'll be done," I explained.

"No, we can't," he said, pushing my hand away.

"Fine. You're going to make me do this alone?" I asked. I felt a surge of strength and cut it the right way, and the blood started gushing. The cuts on my arm looked like a cross.

"Andrew…I'm calling 911. Don't do this to me."

"It doesn't really hurt that bad. Don't be such a baby. And one for you…" the razor blade lowered, just touching Rory's skin.

"STOP!" he yelled.

"I'll die then Rory!" I yelled, full of anger. He tells me he loves me and he'll die without me, but he'll just leave me to do this on my own?

"I can't," he told me, starting to dial. 9.

"Why not Ror?" I asked. "Maybe you should just let me die." 1.

"I can't because…because…I'm HIV positive." 1.

And I'm a death threat, haven't slept yet
Baby why the wakeup call
I'm the bad boy, tell the tabloids
Everything's my fault

A/N: So Nate is addicted to Percoset (which is a pain medication that's a mixture of oxycodone…the drug JT sold on the show…and Acetaminophen) and Lithium is the bi-polar medication. The song is "Save Me" by Unwritten Law and they own it. I know, the scene between Andrew and Rory is reallyweird and stuff…but Andrew is suicidal and he can't help it…not to mention he's overwhelmed from his brother confessing his love to him. And there's another secret from Rory. What did you think?

Thanks to all my reviewers...and to those of you who don't review; please do! I want to break 300 reviews by the end of this story. And there's still at least seven chapters left, maybe more.