A/N: Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I'm only borrowing her characters for a little while. The plot and original characters do belong to me. However, Jasper as the God of War and Peter "just knowing shit" are ideas that belong to Idreamofeddy.

Thank you to Laurie Whitlock, shelljayz, and juliangelus, my betas and prereader. Longing wouldn't be nearly as good without them to help me polish it. I love you guys!

Thank you to everyone who have read, reviewed, followed, and favorited this story. You guys rock.

oOo

Thursday, November 19th, 2080

BPOV

"It's pretty awesome that we're vampires, don't you think?" Emmett blurted excitedly.

My face scrunched. "Vampires?" I mused thoughtfully. "Huh."

The rest of the Cullens were frowning now. They'd been expecting me to return to the house fully in the know, Jasper having clued me in on all the nitty gritties, but there I was ... still in the dark, and they didn't understand why.

Vampires.

The Cullens were vampires.

Huh.

I wondered for a moment if this was one of Emmett's practical jokes but his face was open, honest and eager. I couldn't see any untruth in his expression, so I had to consider that he wasn't utterly full of shit.

I had never given much thought to vampires. Sure I'd read books and seen movies and tv shows about them, but I had never once considered that they actually existed. Then again, I existed and I wasn't supposed to, but I was a product of science; they were products of mystical crap and whatnot … if the Cullens were, in fact, vampires. If they were, well … just … wow.

My life just keeps getting more and more complicated, doesn't it?

I removed the "filter" from my hearing and focused ... no heartbeats. Not one of the Cullens had a heartbeat.

The Cullens have no heartbeats, the Cullens have no heartbeats, the Cullens have no fucking heartbeats!

Putting that little tidbit of information together with everything else I'd observed, I could only come to one conclusion: the Cullens were vampires.

Okay, so they were vampires. Whatever, but how could I not have noticed something as huge as them not having fucking heartbeats? Yes, I muffled that particular sense down to a "normal" human range most of the time, forcing the sheer number of noises and the volume of the noise itself, all of which was overwhelming when mishandled, to an almost subconscious level, ready for me to leaf through if I so chose since there was no way for me to actually block it out. I was still aware of it all but I prioritized it.

I remembered thinking the first time I met them that their house was too quiet. I had chalked it up to faulty hearing caused by exhaustion and starvation from hibernation and the soundproofing I'd quickly figured out they had. Now I realized that, in part, that abnormal silence had to do with the absence of that natural rhythm. The knowledge that the people standing before me had always lacked that vital, alive thumping had always been there, but I had never acknowledged that I had that information. It should have become more difficult to keep that knowledge buried once I moved in, but the Cullens weren't exactly quiet folk. In everyday life, most of them emitted average amounts of noise at reasonable levels but get them together with their significant others, and that included Dr. and Mrs. Cullen, and the volume of their extra curricular activities could eclipse the sound of Times Square on New Years Eve.

Still, I should have recognized that they didn't have heartbeats long before now. Hell, I'd been pressed up against Jasper six fucking times and in Emmett's arms until I cried myself out after my phone call to Kathleen Davidson. My ears had been right fucking there! At chest level!

The reason why I hadn't, until now, left me more than a little unsettled. I had always wanted to believe the Cullens were good people ... well, maybe not people—I couldn't call them people anymore, could I? But good. From the moment Dr. Cullen had asked for my name with curiosity instead of hostility, instead of whipping out his cell phone and dialing 911 as he had threatened the night I had broken into their house, I'd wanted him and his family to be good; I'd wanted it so badly that even when the evidence that one of his children was not had been stacked heavily against him, I still ignored it because if I was being honest with myself, if I had let myself recognize that the Cullens' hearts didn't beat I would have hightailed it as soon as I figured that out. I probably would have killed them first, or tried to, and then hightailed it without ever having given them the chance to prove they were anything but, well ... dead.

Apparently, when I met them, my need for a bit of kindness and how fucked up I was from the hibernation had been enough to allow me to ignore their missing pulses. After that, I suppose my desire for normalcy and to resolve things with Layla was enough to avoid that reality. Denial was a powerful thing and when you could compartmentalize as well as I could, it made a twisted sort of sense. I still felt like a fucking idiot, an idiot who had completely failed at being totally aware of everything around her and adjusting her survival tactics accordingly. I really had been slipping lately. That needed to change. Pronto.

The Cullens were vampires. No matter where my thoughts strayed, my mind came back to this. Strangely enough, I was okay with it. The Cullens were vampires. I was a genetically-engineered super soldier. So fucking what?

I still couldn't judge, and I still didn't want to.

"You didn't tell her?" Alice demanded of Jasper in astonishment, her bell-like voice shooting up an octave, effectively snapping my attention and focus back to the, apparently, nine vampires in the room.

Jasper turned his head and met my eyes, including me, so it wasn't as though they were having a conversation about me that I wasn't a part of. He shrugged. "I was going to, but she didn't want to know."

Rosalie, whose crossed arms had dropped limply to her sides, was staring at me with skepticism. "You didn't want to know?"

"No," I confirmed. "But that has clearly gone out the window."

Emmett looked downright sad at my confirmation, but Rosalie's expression bore something entirely different. Things had shifted between us in the past several days. She was no longer blatantly hostile towards me, and when she looked at me her eyes weren't nearly as hard or hateful. I didn't know what had changed, unless Emmett blabbed about my breakdown, but he'd promised he wouldn't, especially not to her. Normally, I might have second-guessed that he'd kept that promise, but my gut was telling me that wasn't the case. Instinctively I knew that Emmett wouldn't betray me. I'd had the same instinct about Jasper. It was too bad I hadn't listened to it initially. At the moment, Rosalie was regarding me with something akin to respect. It didn't make sense.

The rest of the family merely appeared confused. They also looked nervous, like they were bracing themselves. The only two besides Jasper that didn't appear to share in those emotions were Peter and Charlotte.

"I would normally suggest we take this to the dining room table since that is where we have all our important discussions, but in this case, I believe it would be better if we moved things to the living room instead," Dr. Cullen said calmly.

Is he ever not calm?

I just found out he and his family were vampires, and he was acting as though it was something more like that they were closet taxidermists. The guy was unflappable.

"Sure," I agreed easily. "That's fine."

"Would you like tea or something, Bella?" Mrs. Cullen offered, ever the polite hostess. I had learned over the past weeks that when she was anxious, her supermom instincts would shift into overdrive.

"Yes, Mrs. Cullen," I said. "Please."

Agreeing was the only way I knew to ease her mind some.

Once we'd all migrated to the living room, I held up my hand to halt everyone before they took seats. Then I started to rearrange furniture. I shoved aside the furniture in and moved it so that there was enough room in front of the fireplace to position a plush armchair in front of it, facing the rest of the room—it didn't place me in front of the window, which meant my back wouldn't be open to attack, and gave me clear sightlines to every entrance and exit in the immediate vicinity. Jasper, Peter and Charlotte caught on to what I was doing and helped me position the couches and other armchairs so they were facing that original armchair and curling it around it in a half-circle. I would be sitting in that solitary armchair. If the three of them realized why I had done it, and why would they, they made no mention of it.

I didn't do it because I was afraid the Cullens would hurt me. I wasn't afraid of them. Aside from my momentary fear of Jasper, I never had been and knowing they were vampires didn't change that. I had done it because it put me in a position of power. It wasn't meant to be a threat but it was meant to send a message. It was a somewhat subtle way of saying, "You may think I'm weaker than you, but I still have some control and power." It also let me watch all of them, observe their reactions to whatever I might say and the body language that came about as a result and to make eye contact—all things that were necessary to gauge how to move forward under these bizarre circumstances. I may not have believed the Cullens would hurt me, but I had already been lax enough. I would not make that mistake again.

Once that was done, I gestured for everyone to take seats and took my own in my designated armchair. They obeyed my silent command and each one of them watched me as we waited for Mrs. Cullen to return with my tea. I took turns shifting my gaze from one Cullen to the next after devoting several uniform seconds to each, studying them intently as I saw them in a whole new light. I searched for clues, aside from their absent heartbeats, that would have given them away. There were many, of course. I had always known they were different. I just never would have guessed "vampire" of all things.

I didn't get a chance to ruminate on those things as Mrs. Cullen joined us then, a steaming mug of vanilla chai clasped in her hand. I wasn't yet holding it but even from across the room, I could smell that she'd fixed it exactly the way I liked.

When she placed it in my hand, I smiled at her. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, dear," she answered and took a seat next to her husband, who had chosen to sit in the seat on the white couch directly across from me.

I didn't mind the terms of endearment so much anymore.

There was a bit of an awkward silence for a moment. I had an inkling the Cullens didn't often speak about what they were. The fact that they'd kept it a secret from me pretty much confirmed that, but I hadn't exactly been forthcoming with my own, so I got it.

"So," I began, deciding just to dive right in. "Vampires. That's interesting and ... unexpected."

Dr. Cullen nodded. "You must have questions."

"Yes, I do," I responded, moving my gaze from him to everyone else as well. "I'm just not sure if I'm going to ask them."

Everyone's brows furrowed and the look on Rosalie's face continued to morph. There was no more respect there than there had been a few minutes ago but there was something else. I just couldn't tell what it was, and I found that unnerving.

"Why not?" Emmett asked, his confusion and disappointment laid bare on his face.

I shrugged. "It's not my business," I answered, repeating what I'd told Jasper as I looked to Carlisle. "And I promised not to ask questions."

Truth be told, I was curious, but I hadn't wanted to know their secret because if I didn't know it, I wouldn't feel obligated to share mine, and I wouldn't feel guilty when I inevitably didn't. The less I knew, the better.

"We can hardly hold you to that now, Bella," Dr. Cullen said. "What Jasper did changed things."

I snorted and rolled my eyes. Everything Jasper does changes things.

I just stared after that, unsure of where to go from there.

"We still won't ask you about your life if that's what you're concerned about," Dr. Cullen assured me.

And that had been a concern of mine but my main one was the aforementioned. They may have been willing to trust me with their secret, but I wasn't willing to do the same. It was probably hypocritical, maybe even ungrateful, but I just didn't trust anyone. Over the last weeks, they'd earned that right, but I still didn't. I honestly wasn't sure if I was capable of it, though if I was, the Cullens would be the ones I could put my trust in. Going even further with the whole honesty thing, a good chunk of my reluctance probably stemmed from cowardice. There was also the fact that I was leaving in two weeks, no more than three. I didn't see the point in sharing when our remaining time together was so damn short.

I smiled at him. "You're kind of famous for keeping your promises, so I believe you."

Dr. Cullen smiled back. "You have no idea how happy that makes me, Bella, but I still think the best thing for you is to be well-informed. That isn't me deciding what's best for you, but now that you know what we are, you're in danger. You should understand why and how."

"In danger?"

I was already in danger. I didn't see how being in a little more would make much difference, especially since that danger would be short-lived. I supposed I might as well ask, find out what I had gotten myself into. I had promised myself I wouldn't compromise my safety again while I was here, and vampires or not, I had no intention of leaving the Cullens until my allotted time was up. If I did end up leaving before then, it wouldn't be because of what they were. Plus, telling me everything seemed as though it would ease their minds, and I wanted that. I wasn't supposed to care about them, but I did.

"Yes, unfortunately," Dr. Cullen sighed, "and we genuinely apologize for that. We truly wanted to help you, to give you a loving home, so it was a risk we were willing to take. We'd been hoping for much longer than just shy of four weeks before you discovered the truth."

I was once again truly touched by their determination and desire to help me, though I still didn't understand either.

I couldn't help that there was a part of me that was angry with them for keeping something so big from me, something that would put me in danger, and that they had done it anyway though. On the other hand, my being here wasn't exactly safe for them either. It was another hypocritical thing, but that didn't make the anger dissipate.

My smile turned ironic. "It was only a matter of time, Carlisle. I've known from the moment I met you that you're different," I admitted, including all of the Cullens in that admission. "If I'd had a mind to, I'm sure I would have figured it out a while ago. My observations certainly pointed to 'vampire' now that I think about it, though not all of them match up with the common stereotypes. I suppose that's to be expected though, since most stereotypes are crap."

Peter grinned. "Please do share these observations, darlin'," he requested in amusement. "I'm dyin' to know."

I bit back my chuckle and cocked an eyebrow at him. "Dying, huh?"

"Umhmm," Peter and Charlotte hummed in agreement.

"We all are," Edward piped up, his own smile mischievous and curious.

"Yep," Emmett chimed in, a similar smile on his face.

"Of course," Alice trilled.

The rest either nodded or observed me keenly to show how much they were interested in knowing.

"You all have pale, cold skin," I began.

I turned to Edward. "The day after I first showed up here, you moved without making hardly a sound."

I looked to Emmett next. "The day I showed up here again, when you rushed to the door to keep me from getting bitch slapped by your girlfriend," I smirked at Rosalie and she glared, obviously remembering my insult to her ass, "you moved just a little too fast, and you don't have a pulse. I didn't register it until just now, when you told me what you are, but I remember."

I wasn't going to give the details of how I knew he didn't have a pulse, and I certainly wasn't going to go near how I knew Jasper didn't have a heartbeat with a ten foot pole. They were the only two I'd really gotten close enough to, to make that claim without drawing suspicion to my abnormal hearing, but if I had to elaborate on the circumstances of that knowledge, I would rather spill about my little breakdown with Emmett than any of my "situations" with Jasper.

"I've only seen you guys eat twice in total since I've met you. Since most myths intimate that vampires survive solely on blood ...

"Some things that don't fit," I moved my attention to Jasper, "your eyes go from gold to black at the drop of a hat, especially when you're angry," I said, smirking slightly. "And since I am so damn good at pissing you off, I've had many, many opportunities to witness that.

"You can go out in the sun without turning into crispy critters and you don't have fangs, unless they only show right before you feed," I said.

"You all kind of shine a little, did you know that?" I asked rhetorically. The expressions of astonishment on their faces were almost comical. I gestured to Jasper, Peter and Charlotte. "Except for you three. You guys kind of glow."

I didn't mention their scars. I didn't want to be rude.

I swept my eyes over them as a whole. "Those aren't the only things that don't add up: you're all kind of solid in a way that isn't normal, you're unnaturally beautiful, you all smell strangely sweet and you're perfect in a way that shouldn't be possible," I concluded. There was something else I needed to tack on though. "Despite all that, there is one other thing that screams 'vampire.'"

"Which is?" Rosalie snapped impatiently.

"You all give off this vibe."

"Vibe?" Esme queried warily. It was clear my astute observations had most of them unsettled.

Peter and Charlotte looked pleased and self-satisfied, which didn't really make sense.

"This predatory, 'don't fuck with me' vibe," I elaborated, still looking to Esme. "Even you, kind, sweet woman that you are, project it. It's the kind of vibe that raises the hairs on the back of a person's neck. Put all that together with no pulse and 'vampire' isn't a stretch."

Most of them were gaping at me in shock. I guess they hadn't expected me to notice quite so much. Despite their shock, Emmett and Alice were grinning. Esme and Carlisle were looking on at me with fondness. Edward appeared to be slightly bemused but not unhappy. Rosalie, of course, was pissed, her respect having dissipated, but she was kind of impressed in spite of it. Peter and Charlotte continued to look pleased and self-satisfied. Jasper didn't appear to be the least bit surprised. Beyond that, I couldn't tell what he was thinking.

"I'm observant," I said matter-of-factly, answering the question I knew they were all thinking before they had a chance to ask it.

"Most humans are only subconsciously aware of the vibe you mentioned, Bella," Charlotte said. "Some because they're stupid but most because they don't want to be aware and deny it. You have obviously always been aware of it on a conscious level, which is seriously abnormal, so why are you still here with us?"

"I'm not most humans, I guess," I responded, trying to keep so many of the emotions that statement elicited in check and out of my voice. It was difficult which was strange.

"That is an understatement, Bella," Edward said with a snort, his tone teasing.

The tenor of his voice was exactly what I needed to get my shit together. I stuck my tongue out at him playfully, and he gave me an encouraging grin. I managed to grin back and then I felt the heat of Jasper's eyes on me, tearing across my skin. I met his gaze for a moment but the intensity I found there was too much, so I moved my attention back to Charlotte.

"You've always given off that vibe but I've never felt like I was actually in danger from you," I elaborated, unable to keep my eyes from straying back to Jasper. He was the only one who had ever scared me, and I could tell he knew that this was what I was thinking, though I couldn't explain how. "God knows you've had plenty of opportunities to eat me," I said, emphasizing "plenty" and staring pointedly at Carlisle as I did. "And yet, here I am, alive."

I had been bloody, broken and damn easy pickings in Louisville when Carlisle found me. He could have taken advantage of that and finished me off, drinking the rest of the little blood I had left in my body. He'd saved my life instead, and he did stuff similar to that on a daily basis as a doctor. Each member of the Cullen family looked up to and respected Carlisle. They all strove to be like him. None of them would hurt me because he would never hurt me. Even if there wasn't that, I instinctively knew each Cullen was genuinely good, and I didn't believe they wanted to hurt me. That opinion even extended to Rosalie, though there were times when that opinion faltered with her.

"So ask," Jasper said. It was the first time he'd spoken since we'd all settled in the living room.

I would have followed that up with "Ask what?" but I didn't need to. I knew what he meant. "What do you eat ... or drink is the better word, I suppose."

Carlisle was the one who answered. "Our natural food source is human blood, as one might assume," he said. "And the majority of our kind partake in that diet. We, however," he assured me with a proud smile, "do not. Instead, we drink animal blood."

My nose wrinkled. "That has to suck."

For the umpteenth time that day the Cullens looked at me as though I'd grown a second head.

"It's great that you're not down with murdering people because that is all kinds of uncool," I said calmly. "Though I must admit, there are some people in the world we could do without." Derek Henry and Rafe Jones were prime examples. "But wouldn't drinking animal blood be like the equivalent of vegetarianism in humans? As awesome as it is that you don't chow down on those of the two-legged variety, I don't know what I would do if I couldn't eat meat. Denying yourself what your body naturally craves has got to be hard."

I didn't even think that was an option for me. There were dozens of different things whose DNA had been spliced into one genetic double helix in order to spark my existence. Of those dozens of things, I only knew two for certain: human and feline. Cats were carnivorous creatures. They could not survive on a diet that didn't include animal protein. I didn't know if I was feline enough for that to matter, but I wasn't going to test it. Plus, I liked my burgers and steaks.

"Oh, it is disgusting as all hell, darlin'," Peter drawled, grimacing heavily. "But it gets the job done, and I'm told the taste grows on you." He leaned forward and shielded his mouth behind one hand as though that gave us privacy. When he spoke, his voice was a loud stage whisper, "I think they lie!"

He shot me a wink and a grin before he sat back and shot smiles at everyone else. They seemed to know he was joking ... mostly.

"Recent convert?" I guessed with a grin of my own, though it wasn't much of a guess.

"Oh yes, sug," Charlotte responded for the two of them. "Pete and I very much share your belief that the world could do without some people, so for a long time we took it upon ourselves to rid it of them one rapist, drug dealer and other various kinds of asshole at a time while simultaneously getting a meal out of it."

"But you don't anymore?" I wondered.

"No, not anymore," Charlotte confirmed. "If we wanted to live here, nixing feeding from humans, no matter how douchey, was part of the deal."

I frowned and was about to inquire how the Cullens could ask that of Peter and Charlotte. It didn't seem like them. Then Jasper spoke up.

"Not a condition of ours," he clarified. "None of us are particularly fond of those types of humans." He stared at me as he said it, as if he needed me to understand how true that was. I gave him a slight nod to show I believed him. "Those that set that condition in place are one of the things you need to know about."

He redirected his attention to Carlisle and I followed suit, my curiosity piqued. Now that I knew they were vampires and that age probably had nothing to do with it, I noted how odd it was that Jasper deferred to him. Jasper wasn't the submissive type. There was no doubt in my mind about that; his presence was too strong, charismatic and dynamic for that, that air of power I'd noticed the first time we'd met only having made a more and more indelible impression on me since, so it made no sense to me.

"Okay," I said, moving my hand in a gesture that was a clear indication for Carlisle to proceed in explaining.

"We aren't the only supernatural creatures living in the Forks area," he said.

A light bulb went off in my head. "It's the Quileutes, isn't it?"

"How do you know that?" Rosalie demanded suspiciously, her glare deepening.

"You obviously don't pay attention," I said. I wasn't in the mood for her returned attitude. "I'm observant," I emphasized specifically for her. "And they give off an other vibe just the same as you all do. When I say that, I don't mean that vibe is actually the same but it still screams 'not human.' Of course, until you told me you were vampires, I didn't know that's what that vibe was saying, but now that I do, I can't see it meaning anything else. "

Carlisle chuckled. "You really are quite observant, aren't you?" he asked rhetorically, impressed.

"So what are they?" I queried, intrigued.

"That's not our story to tell," he responded firmly. "Anyway, we, as in Esme, Edward, Rosalie, Emmett and I—Alice and Jasper hadn't joined us yet—first settled in Forks in 1936," he said.

That surprised me. It was difficult for me to imagine the Cullens without Jasper and Alice, but then it was even more difficult for me to picture Jasper without Peter and Charlotte. Yet I had seen him without them. I suddenly found it incredibly hard to refrain from asking how the petite raven-haired beauty and the tall honey-blonde Texan had come to be a part of the family. I didn't need to ask about Peter and Charlotte; it was obvious to me that the two of them and Jasper were a package deal even if they hadn't been together when I'd first met the Cullens, though I did find it curious that the three of them had separated in the first place.

"The Quileutes have been here much longer, for centuries, in fact," Carlisle continued. "Not all the members of their tribe are supernatural creatures. Those members that are, are charged with the duty of protecting those that aren't from vampires. As you can imagine, our arrival here was not well-received."

I snorted. "I'll bet," I said. "Their reaction to me when I bought my car from them makes sense now. Hey, do you guys smell to them or something?"

I keenly remembered their wrinkled noses when I walked into Black's Auto Repair & Restoration, and every time I saw Leah, she did the same thing.

"Why would you ask that?" The question came from a miffed Edward.

"They always act like I smell when I see them, and since I spend so much time with you ... Sorry, continue."

"We managed to convince them we don't feed on humans," Carlisle said, heeding my request. "Forks was the perfect place for us to stay for a while, but it was obvious to us all, particularly in light of their thoughts, that certain concessions would need to be made—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," I interrupted. I had to stop him right there. There was every possibility he only meant thoughts and concerns the Quileutes had willingly shared with them on the matter, but there was something about the way he'd said it that suggested something else, and I had to make sure. "What exactly do you mean when you said 'in light of their thoughts?' Because the way you said it almost made it seem as though they didn't share their thoughts on purpose."

"I wasn't sure you would catch that," Carlisle said, and I couldn't tell if he was happy or displeased that I had. I didn't care. "Jasper, would you care to explain?"

Jasper nodded and met my gaze. He watched me for several moments, as he often did, trying to gauge my mood. Then I recalled my promise not to make assumptions.

"What are you hoping to find, Jasper?" I asked him, attempting to convey that I felt no malice for his probing.

"You're hard to read, Bella, and I rarely ever can't get a read on someone," he admitted.

How fucking ironic.

"I'm just tryin' to anticipate how you might react. It's a habit of mine."

"Explain away, Texas," I said, using that name in the hope that it would ease his mind. Then I grinned at him. "It's not like I'll string you up by your balls if I don't like what you have to say."

He fought his own grin.

"Oh, God," Rosalie grumbled crossly under her breath. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her roll her eyes.

"I wouldn't put it past you, sugar," he said seriously, and then he proceeded. "When some humans wake to this life, certain qualities they had while they were alive have been ... enhanced, qualities that may or may not have been natural in origin in their human life, though they seemed mundane enough then. Those qualities have morphed into something more, into something powerful, into an ability. Those vampires are referred to as gifted."

"So when you said 'in light of their thoughts'," I said, looking back at Carlisle. "What you really mean is that you've got a telepath in the family."

I really watch too much X-Men.

I knew right away that the telepath was Edward. All the times he'd looked at me and I'd felt that pressure against my skull—that was Edward reading my mind.

I wanted to curse and scream, jump to my feet and pace but I would not react. Asking the Cullens not to dig in to my past had been a reasonable request at the time and still was, but if I reacted badly to this news, blew it what they would perceive to be out of proportion it would be suspicious and draw attention to my vehemence over it.

I felt betrayed and began to panic. If Edward had read my mind, that meant he knew everything, that most likely every single one of them knew everything, and I was fucked. I had been fucked the moment I'd set foot in the Cullen home. They were liars and I was a fucking idiot.

Part of me wondered if they would actually do anything with the knowledge of my origins. They had yet to mention that they knew, but they could just have been biding their time. At least now that I knew their secret I was on equal footing with them, my knowledge ensuring mutually assured destruction, but I didn't like the idea of destroying other people to save my own ass and there were so many things that just didn't add up. For instance, why would Jasper go to the trouble of saving my life? And that was just one of those things. My brain was on overload with all these thoughts and speculations, and my head was beginning to hurt. When it came down to it though, the greatest part of me couldn't afford to consider that they wouldn't use my secret against me.

"Yes," Jasper said. "That is what Carlisle meant."

"Which one of you is it?" I may have already known but I still needed to ask for their benefit. On the off chance they didn't know, how was I supposed to explain how I knew it was Edward?

"It's me," Edward confessed. He didn't even hesitate in his admission and I had expected him to. It was a huge and scary thing to cop to. The guy had bigger cajones than I'd thought.

"And you can read everyone's thoughts," I said. I didn't phrase it as a question.

Edward nodded. "I can also put my thoughts into people's heads, more than one person's at a time if I so choose, which results in something akin to a 3-way telephone conversation, though it isn't limited to three people."

"That's ..." I paused as I took in this information and tried to find the right word to describe how I felt about it, " ... invasive."

"That's the consensus of most. Your thoughts, however, are a mystery to me," he told me, looking me straight in the eyes. They were startlingly honest and there was a vulnerability in his golden orbs I'd never witnessed before as a result of his admission; I believed him.

"What?" I asked. I was beyond relieved but hid it well. The Cullens didn't know. That was wonderful news, but I was confused.

"In all my years as a vampire, I've never met anyone who could naturally block me," he continued. "Until you."

"Oh," I responded dumbly.

"It's very frustrating," he said and I could see that frustration in his expression.

"Forgive me if I can't find it within myself to empathize," I told him with a roll of my eyes and a sarcastic edge to my voice.

"It's funny you should mention that," Jasper cut in.

"How is it funny?" I asked warily. I had a feeling I wasn't going to like his answer.

"I'm an empath," he explained, watching me in that hawk-like way of his that always left me uncomfortable.

"An empath?"

His face was stoic and unreadable, and I had no idea what to expect when he answered. My foreboding multiplied tenfold. I was terribly on edge when he finally put me out of my misery. "I can feel and manipulate the emotions of others."

My mouth dropped open in disbelief as my thoughts drifted back to the alley in Louisville, how I had felt as though he had been pinning me to the wall more with his rage than his arms. I also couldn't help my mind from detouring to how abruptly drawn and consumed I had been by him from the moment I'd laid eyes on him and how I'd continued to struggle to get him out of my head ever since. I thought about how I'd never reacted to anyone the way I'd reacted to him and how I had neither ever known what to make of it nor was ever able to drag myself out of the haze of confusion that reaction caused. I suddenly had an explanation for it all, a way to make it make sense, which was something I desperately needed; I grabbed on to it and held tight, my promise not to make assumptions forgotten.

My eyes narrowed and I directed all the cold fury I was feeling right at him. If any of the others noticed what was happening between us, I was unaware of it. I was too busy plotting ways to string Jasper up by his balls, just the way I'd promised I wouldn't.

"Oh really," I fumed. "That's an interesting little trick."

He sucked in a staccato breath, his spine went ramrod straight and his jaw clenched, his teeth grinding together audibly. Then his eyes went black with fury of his own.

"I do not fuckin' abuse it," he growled dangerously, beginning to tremble in barely contained rage. Peter placed a hand on his forearm. Jasper didn't appear to notice.

Those words snapped me back to reality and I studied him, my eyes meeting his. I got lost in them the way I often did, the world fading away, and all the things that had convinced me he hadn't turned me in passed through my brain in a rush as well as how I'd felt his rage in the alley in Louisville but how I instinctively knew that all the lust that had coursed through me had been mine and mine alone. He wasn't lying. He didn't abuse his gift.

Damn it! I had broken my promise to him not two hours after I'd made it.

God, I'm such a bitch, I chastised myself, feeling thoroughly sick. I hoped he could feel that.

My eyes and features softened, and so did his.

"I believe you," I told Jasper sincerely, directing my words and attention solely toward him. They weren't for anyone else and it was important that he knew it. "God, your gift must suck in this house!" I exclaimed, hoping to draw attention away from my imperfect ability to keep promises and to bring some levity. "The marathon porn must drive you crazy."

"Pretty much," he corroborated.

"The Jazzman does just fine in that department," Emmett assured me with a smirk.

I shuddered. I did not want to know anything about Jasper's sex life. I did not need to know anything about Jasper's sex life. The thought of him being with women in that way, and I was certain he'd been with many, made my chest tighten uncomfortably with an emotion I wasn't familiar with. I was abruptly mortified that he could feel whatever that emotion was, that he had been able to feel everything I had ever felt towards him. That was so not fucking cool. I wasn't the religious type but I found myself praying, by some miracle, that I was somehow immune to his gift as well.

Jasper shot a glare in Emmett's direction. "Not appropriate, Emmett."

Emmett held his hands up in a placating gesture. "Sorry. I didn't realize appropriate was a theme we were shooting for. I mean, when has it ever been?"

Jasper looked like he was about to go for Emmett's throat so I cleared mine loudly and focused on Jasper. "Can you feel my emotions?"

"At first, yes, but not in the way I can with most people," he told me.

"What does that mean?" I asked, still feeling like I wasn't yet out of hot water.

"They flickered," he elaborated. "So fast I couldn't tell what they were. Then, ever since you showed back up in Forks, I can't feel them at all."

Thank God!

"Does that happen often?" I asked.

He gazed at me intently. "Never."

"And theirs aren't the only gifts of ours that either don't work on you at all or don't work on you properly." It was Alice who hijacked the conversation this time.

Not properly or not at all, I said to myself. Awesome!

My inner tone was sarcastic. It wasn't that I wasn't relieved, but with Edward's admission that he'd never met anyone before me his gift didn't work on and the knowledge that Jasper's gift went haywire around me too made me think it had something to do with what I was and where I came from. That the rest of their gifts didn't work properly on me or at all lent credence to that theory. Yeah, I wasn't a freak at all. I never forgot, but I didn't like being reminded.

"You're gifted too?" I questioned wearily, tired out from my previous thoughts but needing to move on. Alice nodded. "How many more of you are there, and how common are gifted vampires?"

"Just me," Peter drawled, grinning at me like he knew some secret I didn't. Considering all the secrets there was the potential to know, I did not like that one fucking bit. "And gifted vampires are actually fairly rare, despite the greatness you currently find yourself in the presence of."

"Okay, what can the two of you do?" Alright, so I was curious. Sue me.

"I can see the future based on the decisions people make," Alice said. "If someone changes their mind, the vision and the outcome change."

"Oh ... neat?" I responded hesitantly. How was I supposed to know if she considered her gift a blessing or a curse? There were abilities of mine I classified as one or the other and some I had yet to determine which category they belonged in. Alice could be in the same boat and being able to see the future seemed like a terribly complicated and weighty thing to have on one's shoulders; it seemed like a burden.

"Sometimes," she answered.

"And you can't always see my future?" I wanted her answer to be yes. Alice being able to see my future at all compromised my true identity but the idea of knowing for certain if I would ever end up back at Fort Ares and Project Apotheosis was a tempting and comforting notion. Tempting and comforting enough to contemplate the risk of exposing myself.

"I can't see you at all," she said, her frustration just as evident as Edward's.

"Oh," was my brilliant response. It was just as well. It was ridiculous and irresponsible for me to even have considered exposing myself anyway.

"And you?" I asked of Peter. His gift was either all-important or entirely useless, like the ability to predict which football team would win the Super Bowl every year or how to fart the alphabet backwards.

His smile turned sly. "I just know shit," he answered as if this was the most amazing thing ever.

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Pretty much just how it sounds, darlin'," he said. "Shit just comes to me. I don't know where it comes from or why it pops into my noggin but it does, and the shit I just know is never wrong."

I opened my mouth to ask a question, but he answered it before the words even escaped my lips.

"And no, my gift is nothin' like the munchkin's," he responded to my unasked question. Alice growled at the hated nickname and Peter's smile widened at the sound, but he didn't turn to look at her. "The shit I just know isn't subjective and it doesn't change because people are fickle. It's absolute, final, and it's not solely shit that has yet to happen. I can just know shit about a person or an event from the past that no one else would. It's the same for the present. Sometimes I do just know shit about the future, but unlike Ali, I can know about things much further away since what I know isn't dependant on what people decide. However, unlike Ali, I can't go lookin' for answers. I just know shit or I don't. Also, I don't know everything there is to know about everything, but I like to think that I know just enough."

"And you 'just know shit' about me?" I asked, trying not to sound apprehensive. I was only fairly certain I was successful.

Peter shrugged and observed me keenly. "Lately my 'knower' has been on the fritz, so not really," he said. "But it's possible that could change."

"I guess we'll see," I responded nonchalantly.

I really did not like the sound of that. I would have to indiscriminately interrogate him about whether or not proximity increased the probability of him 'just knowing shit' about people. If that was the case, it would make it more difficult for me to convince Jasper that there was more to me than just a cold bitch, which was even more crucial after my bitch moment just minutes ago; I had very little time to do that, and I couldn't waste any of it. Since Peter was constantly at Jasper's side, this was important for me to know. It wasn't only that though. I truly liked Peter, and I wanted to be around him while I could. He made me laugh. I would have to think on ways to interrogate him later though. I needed to get this conversation back on track.

"Now that we've gone way the hell off the beaten path, how about we get back to where we were?" I suggested, glancing at Carlisle. "I believe you were talking about concessions that would need to be made between you and the Quileutes if you wanted to stay in Forks."

"Yes," Carlisle acknowledged. "Because circumstances allowed us to convince the Quileutes not only that we feed from animals but also that we hold firm to it, we were able to form a treaty with the chief of the tribe at the time. The terms of the treaty are that as long as none of us bite any humans either to feed from them or to turn them as well as stay off the Quileute's land, they will not attack us or reveal what we are to humans."

"How do they measure up in comparison to you guys?" I asked. "If a fight did break out between you, who is most likely to win?"

"Oh, sugar, they would put up a good fight," Jasper intoned, smirking. "But in the end, we would annihilate them, I assure you."

"Alright," I said, nodding. "So you've got a treaty with the Natives, and if it came down to it, you'd kick their asses from here to kingdom come," I summarized unnecessarily, not sure why I felt the need. My focus returned to what I felt was a salient point and I found myself needing a pointless confirmation of my suspicions. "You supernatural creatures are territorial beings, aren't you?"

"You have no idea," Edward muttered, shooting a sideways glance at Jasper. I didn't know what that was about, and I had no desire to find out.

"I'm assuming you had to consult with them before you asked me to move in," I commented.

"Actually, no," Carlisle corrected. "I'm sure they would have preferred it if we had, but we chose to inform them after the fact."

"That must have gone over well," I snorted, a vivid image of Paul and his initial reaction to me dancing to the forefront of my mind.

"As well as it could have given the circumstances," Carlisle responded. "But though I pointed out that you shouldn't take our potential to hurt you lightly, I truly don't believe we're a danger to you. We haven't violated the treaty since it came into being and a simple reminder of that fact effectively silenced them on the matter."

"Do they need proof of that? If so, how could you possibly provide it?" Jasper had assured me they would win in a fight, and I believed him with every fiber of my being, his presence and effortless airs of lethality and menace singing it loud and clear, but worry still threaded itself through my veins.

"One thing the original treaty failed to do was extend the terms of it to our time away from the Pacific Northwest," Carlisle explained. "It is something I've never bothered to point out because denying ourselves can be very difficult, as we've already admitted, and Emmett was hardly out of his newborn year when the treaty was formed. I had to ensure that allowances could be made for the possibility of slips, even though it would be nearly impossible for the Quileutes to find out about them. If, somehow, they were to discover any losses of control, there had to be a loophole. We very much enjoy living here in Forks and try to come back every few decades, and dishonesty would make things more difficult between us. Omitting the truth isn't much better but it's more excusable."

I nodded, digesting this. "What else?" I asked, continuing to move along.

"Vampires don't have many laws," Carlisle responded. "At least, not many that are strictly enforced. There's really only one, in fact."

"And that would be?"

"We don't reveal what we are to humans," he said.

My brow furrowed. "I'm not sure I understand what you're saying. If that's the only law you have that's strictly enforced, why did you take me in knowing I would most likely figure out what you are? What happens if you're caught? And who enforces it?"

"Please, Carlisle, explain it to her," Rosalie invited venomously. I suspected that whatever it was he was about to tell me had something to do with why she had always had such a problem with me. I also suspected his answer would be another one I wouldn't like.

"There's what you might call a royal family in the vampire world," Carlisle began. "They are known as the Volturi and they're very old, millennia old. The heads of that family are Aro, Caius and Marcus, and they have an incredibly powerful guard of vampires, a great deal of whom are gifted, to enforce the laws they've come up with. They hail from Volterra, Italy, and it is never a good idea to cross them."

"You didn't answer my question about what happens if you're caught," I said.

"The vampire or vampires guilty have two choices," he finally answered. "The first is to turn the human to whom they've revealed our existence to."

He hesitated after that and my feeling of uneasiness returned. Everyone but Peter and Charlotte looked sad at this. Rosalie looked slightly sick. I got it. She didn't want to put up with me for eternity. I wouldn't particularly want to put up with her for eternity either.

"And the second?"

He dropped his gaze to his lap for a moment before he returned it to mine. "The second is to end that human's life. In extreme cases, they even consider ending the lives of the vampire or vampires responsible for the revelation."

The Cullens appeared to be even more devastated by the former disclosure, though I could tell the latter one bothered them too. Rosalie was not so much bothered by my potential death. That kind of pissed me off but I got that too. My presence here put the entire Cullen family at risk, and I didn't know her well, but how much she loved them was clear.

Shit! I cursed internally. No fucking wonder she hates me so much.

My life could also be forfeit if my knowledge of their existence was discovered. I should have been fixated on the latter but it was the former I was having the most trouble with.

I had been fighting for my life for the whole of it. That was nothing new to me, but that wasn't technically the purpose for my existence—fighting for other people was. I had fought for the kids in Louisville and I had done it because I cared to a degree, but mostly I had done it because it was the right thing to do. If I fought for the Cullens, it would be for a whole slew of reasons. If I fought for them, the majority of my reasoning would be because I did genuinely care, even though I wasn't supposed to and tried desperately not to, and not because it was the right thing to do, though it would be. In all likelihood, I would probably just take off to save everyone the trouble, but if I had to fight for them, I would. I still just didn't understand.

I jumped to my feet and began to pace. "Why?" I demanded desperately. "Why would you risk your lives for a girl you barely know? A girl who showed she was hardly anything more than an ungrateful bitch when you first met her? Why? I am not worth this!"

"You are," Jasper said quietly, so quietly I wondered if the words were a figment of my imagination.

"You are, Bella," Carlisle stated more strongly, his tone not one to be argued with.

"They're right, sugar," Peter agreed earnestly.

The rest of the family, save Rosalie, uttered various forms of assent. Her expression wasn't nearly as hard as I'd been expecting. It was unreadable.

"You have no idea what you're saying," I whispered, in shock.

And they really didn't. If Project Apotheosis ever found out about the existence of vampires ...

I sank back into my armchair and dropped my head into my hands. I couldn't believe that hadn't crossed my mind until now. It was bad enough when they'd only been off but still human. Being vampires changed things on that front significantly. Maybe I shouldn't wait to leave after all.

"I don't want you to worry about the Volturi, Bella," Carlisle soothed. "We would never force something on you that you don't want, especially turning you, and we would never kill you. Besides, I'm not worried about it. Aro and I are old and good friends. I'm also on good terms with Caius ... well, on as good of terms as one can be. He isn't the most socially graceful person. Marcus doesn't care one way or another about anything, so if they ever do find out about you, I'm confident we'll be able to smooth things over without bloodshed. I wouldn't have made the offer for you to live with us if I thought otherwise. I love my family and care too much about you to have dismissed that concern in favor of potentially putting all our lives at risk. I quite value my eternity and that of my loved ones'."

I believed that, but that wasn't what I was concerned over. I couldn't say that though.

"What does this whole vampire thing entail?" I inquired with interest. If I had more information, I could possibly determine how much danger the Cullens would be in if hunters caught me here and somehow discovered my connection to them as well as what they were. I planned to be long gone before that had the potential to happen, and after all the precautions I'd taken, the chances of it were damn near nil, but it was never a bad thing to be well-informed.

"After yesterday, I'm sure you picked up on the fact that we're fast," Jasper said.

I eyed him with a smile. "I already picked up on that. Emmett wasn't exactly brilliant at hiding it, as I already said. I just didn't know to what degree. Apparently, you also heal very quickly."

He smirked. "If you're referring to my back, sugar, I was never injured in the first place. That unnatural solidity you were talkin' about earlier ... well, we're nearly indestructible."

"Only nearly?"

"The only way we can be killed is if we're ripped apart by another vampire and burned." It was Peter who answered. He didn't seem the least bit concerned or uncomfortable about revealing that to me; as far as he knew, I was nothing but a weak, lowly "human." What possible damage could I do with that information? Why should he be concerned about it?

I nodded distractedly, trying to fit this piece of intelligence into a scenario that might be contradictory. "You have to be ripped apart by another of your kind? It doesn't matter if you're just set on fire?"

"Nope," Peter said. "We're only flammable if our venom has been exposed and that only happens when we've been torn to pieces, generally by one of our kind."

"You can't be set on fire, say, by a grenade launcher or blown up by something else like that?"

"The Volturi have done experiments to test those theories," Carlisle said with disdain. "Those experiments have proven that what Peter says is true. That isn't to say there aren't potentially other things that could do it, but with our speed and reflexes, things like grenade launchers and the like wouldn't actually hit us."

"What happens if you get ripped apart but not burned?" I questioned.

"We can be put back together none the worse for wear with no scars to prove it ever happened as long as we don't use foreign venom to seal the wounds," Charlotte responded. "It's never pleasant but it's bearable, unless you do use foreign venom. That burns like a son of a bitch. Either way, it's not permanently dead, so it's all about the glass bein' half full."

I gave her a nod, wondering if she knew from personal experience just how unpleasant it was, and then looked back to Carlisle. "Okay, so you've got great reflexes. What else?"

"We're incredibly strong," Emmett pitched in smugly, grinning.

"Strong," I noted. "Check."

"Our vision, hearing and sense of smell are greatly enhanced," Edward said next.

"Like, how enhanced?" I asked.

"We can see up to two miles away with an unobstructed view and we have perfect night vision. Our hearing has a similar range and so does our sense of smell. It's particularly sensitive to the scent of blood obviously," he informed me.

I wrinkled my nose at that bit of news but pushed my discomfort with that notion aside.

So far, I hadn't been able to compare my abilities with theirs because Emmett's and Jasper's descriptions of their strength and speed were vague, and Carlisle's description of their reflexes wasn't all that specific either. According to Edward's description though, my senses seemed to be on par with theirs. There were differences though. I could smell the presence of drugs or other unnatural substances in blood but I wasn't particularly sensitive to the scent of blood itself. As far as vision went, the one thing the Cullens didn't have that I did was thermal vision.

"That makes sense. It's gross but it makes sense," I said. "Doesn't my scent bother you? I mean, living with a human can't be easy, especially since you drink animal blood and not what your body really craves."

"It isn't easy," Jasper said. "You smell really good, but it's been easier than we were anticipating."

"Better than most?" I asked, curious.

"Oh, yes," Emmett answered. "It's odd that none of us have tried to drain you considering. We haven't even really been tempted to."

I remembered Jasper's lips on my neck, the feel of his teeth nipping my skin, and shivered. I raised a brow at him. He seemed to understand what I was thinking, and his expression turned sheepish. It amused me.

"Okay, I'm especially not afraid of you now," I said.

"You should never let your guard down despite that information," Carlisle admonished sternly. "We have exceptional control, and though I don't truly believe we are a danger to you, it's still instinctual for us to feed on humans, as you know. Instincts are incredibly difficult to turn off as exceptional as our control may be, and most of us have slipped in the past."

"Alright, alright," I placated, holding my hands up, "noted. Hey, wait! The hearing thing. Is that why you have the soundproofing?"

I had always wondered about the soundproofing. I'd always been grateful and disdainful of it in equal measure, most particularly because it distorted my hearing and left me vulnerable, but I had still wondered.

"How the hell do you know about that?" Rosalie demanded.

I pointed at myself. "Ob-ser-vant," I enunciated extra slow. "When I'm in my bedroom, it's a lot quieter than it is in all the other rooms. It was the same when I was getting ready for Halloween in Alice and Edward's room too. It adds up," I said and then amended myself. "Except for when y'all are gettin' it on," I mimicked Jasper's accent perfectly, shooting him a wink. "Are lungs of steel a vampire thing as well? Because no amount of soundproofing can cloak the sound of any of you having sex. A deaf person could hear that shit."

None of the vampires in the room looked perturbed or even the slightest bit embarrassed by my comment about their sex lives. Well, Esme did ... a little.

"What else?"

"We're smart," Alice continued.

"How smart?" I asked.

"Genius smart with eidetic memories," she answered.

I nodded again. The similarities between us were getting kind of freaky.

"Obviously, as you mentioned, we're unnaturally beautiful," Rosalie chipped in, which was something I hadn't been expecting. "That's so we can draw in our prey. It's also why we smell sweet. Also, if we fed on human blood, our eyes would be red instead of gold, so if you ever come across a vampire with that eye color you'll know to head in the opposite direction. You mentioned that we all kind of shine. Well, you should see us in direct sunlight."

She almost sounded like she cared.

"What do you look like in direct sunlight?"

"We sparkle like a bunch of pansy asses," Emmett grumbled. "It's great for the females of our species," he said, smiling affectionately at Rosalie, "but for the men? Talk about emasculating."

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my throat. My hand flew up and I slapped it over my mouth, quickly getting ahold of myself. "Sorry."

"I'd be worried if you didn't laugh, sugar," Peter drawled.

I regarded him strangely. "Anything else?"

"We don't sleep," Esme spoke for the first time since handing me my tea.

"Ever?"

"Ever," she confirmed.

Freakier.

My earlier thoughts invaded my brain again.

Project Apotheosis would find a way to capture a vampire. From what I gathered, we were similar, though I wasn't sure I quite compared. Still, we were similar enough. I hadn't stayed at Fort Ares for the majority of my life simply because I was stupidly loyal to my superiors and government or because I didn't know any better, though both were indisputably true. I had also stayed because I had been physically incapable of leaving.

The device the hunters possessed that fucked with my nervous system had different settings and was constantly in use while I was there. I had never known just how strong, fast, or capable I was physically until I escaped because of that device and my creators' need to keep me in check. They'd had to prepare for the possibility that I might truly find the wonders of the outside world more appealing than life on base and want to leave, which if left to my own devices was entirely achievable given the powers they'd endowed me with, and had so devised a way of preventing me from being able to escape. How I'd escaped wasn't a topic I liked to think about.

What concerned me were the similarities between the Cullens and me. They were vampires and dead for all intents and purposes, but they had to have functioning nervous systems on some level. They surely didn't work in the same way that humans' did, mine was somewhat different as well, but I didn't know how else they would be able to hear, see, smell, taste or move if they didn't. It was fair to assume that the device that so excruciatingly incapacitated me could also incapacitate them. What Project Apotheosis wouldn't give to get their hands both on me and vampires.

They would do all kinds of experiments on them. I had been on the receiving end of those experiments for twelve years of my life. I would not allow that to happen to the Cullens. They would also try to turn the Cullens into their soldiers, though that was a laughable and ludicrous concept, but that still wouldn't stop Project Apotheosis from trying.

They would try to find a way to extract vampire DNA and splice it into me. They would find a way and that shit was excruciating. All those thoughts caused every drop of blood to drain from my face and made me feel physically ill.

The urge to throw up was overwhelming, and I shot up from my chair, stumbling towards the nearest bathroom. I just barely made it, managing to close and lock the door behind me and drop to my knees in front of the toilet just before the first wave of vomit escaped my mouth. My stomach continued to roil and contract until every last bit of food I'd eaten today was expelled from my body. Then I threw up bile, and after that, I dry heaved until I hurt, which was quite the feat.

At some point, cool hands pulled my hair back behind my shoulders and twisted it into a loose knot at the base of my neck. When I was finally done, I looked up to find Esme at my side, holding a cool washcloth. She wiped at my clammy forehead as Carlisle looked on at the situation with a doctor's eye but a father's concern. It touched me. I threw up again.

When I was once again finished, I felt Jasper's eyes on me and finally had the presence of mind to ask a question.

"How did you get in here?" There was no malice or irritation in it, only curiosity.

"You're not the only one who's good with a bobby pin," Jasper said. Under different circumstances I think he would have grinned at me. Instead, he looked just as concerned as Carlisle.

I gave him a weak smile, extending it to Carlisle and Esme as well. For the first time, I noticed that the others were crowded around the doorway too, almost identical expressions of worry etched onto their faces, even Rosalie's. I spread my smile to them, hoping to ease their minds.

"I need a minute," I proclaimed. My voice came out strained and gravelly, my throat raw from the vomiting but I could already feel it healing. It would be in perfect condition in less than a minute.

They all gave me hesitant nods and left, Esme shutting the bathroom door gently behind her after tenderly wiping my forehead one last time.

I sat there on the floor next to the toilet with my knees pulled against my chest and my arms wrapped around them. I rested my head back against the cool tile of the wall and closed my tired eyes as I contemplated things.

I should leave. I needed to leave. My being here was putting the Cullens in danger. Yes, they had endangered my life too but they had also endangered theirs when they'd taken me in, and they had done it for very generous, almost selfless reasons. They were helping me and getting nothing in return for it. I had moved in fully aware that I could be putting their lives in danger just by their association with me. I had done it anyway and my reasons had been anything but selfless. Those reasons had been absolutely, positively, without a doubt, incredibly selfish.

What the hell had I been thinking? How could I have done this? I needed to leave. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if anything happened to them because of me.

You are a reprehensible person. You know that, right?

It did occur to me that I had managed to evade capture for the past five years. The Cullens were vampires and far older than I was, though I didn't know exactly by how many years. The danger to them from Project Apotheosis was still very real, just as the danger from the Volturi was, despite Carlisle's assurances to the contrary, but as long as hunters didn't discover my whereabouts, the Cullens would remain safe.

Even if hunters did discover my location, the Cullens were smart. As long as I left before the hunters put two and two together, they would be fine. I once again found comfort in the precautions I'd taken. I could stay for the remaining three weeks of my time here, but I would have to be even more careful about portraying myself as normal. If there was even a breath or a whisper of trouble, I would take off with no hesitation whatsoever.

With that resolved, I pulled myself to my feet, flushed the toilet and went to the sink. Turning on the faucet, I looked at my reflection staring back at me from the mirror.

Can you say trainwreck? I looked truly awful and I winced. Splashing several handfuls of cold water on my face and taking some deep breaths, I knew I was going to have to go back out to the living room and face the Cullens. I wasn't looking forward to it.

When I finally made my way back into the living room and flopped into the armchair, I briefly hesitated before I met their eyes. They deserved for me not to avoid their gazes like I didn't approve of them and what they were, so I held my head high and met their gazes confidently and reassuringly. It didn't assuage them.

Most all of them looked scared and worried. I didn't know if that was because they were worried about my physical health or if it was because they were worried I didn't accept them. Maybe they were frightened of both.

"Are you alright, Bella?" Emmett asked and I still couldn't tell what it was that had him concerned. I hated it. I was always supposed to be able to figure shit like that out. I was so off my game lately.

"I'm fine," I promised, sighing. "I don't know what you think of my physical reaction. I know what it looks like, but it isn't what you think. I really don't care that you're vampires. I don't care that you don't have heartbeats or that you're unnaturally fast, strong, pretty and everything else. I know that after what just happened that that's difficult for you to believe but it's true."

I was right. Their expressions didn't change the least bit. They doubted.

I thought hard on how to make them believe me when I said I didn't care, that knowing the truth didn't change how I felt about them, but they had never known how I felt about them. I had kept that well-hidden, but then I wasn't even sure I knew how I felt about them. I knew I cared but would telling them that make a difference? I didn't know. I should tell them, but I wouldn't.

Rosalie wouldn't give a shit when I left but some of the others would be hurt by it. If they knew I cared, it might make it more difficult for them to get over my leaving. It might even tempt them to try to find me. Considering that Jasper actually had found me before, telling them how I felt about them was something I couldn't do. I'd broken a lot of my rules for the Cullens already. I couldn't break that one. It would be hard enough to leave. It would be harder knowing that taking off would hurt them. Of everyone who hurt because of it, it was only fair that I be the one who suffered the most, if I could help it.

I had the sudden urge to shout out that I didn't give a fuck because I was different too, but I wouldn't do that. Again, I was still leaving soon. I still didn't see the point in revealing my secret when our time together was so short, and I was still a coward. What if they didn't accept me? From what I gathered, vampires were one uniform species. I was a fucking hodge-podge. I didn't want to see the looks on their faces when they discovered I was a freak.

I didn't have to tell them about Project Apotheosis, but I could tell them other things. I hated anyone knowing anything about me. It made me feel uncomfortable and exposed, but my knowing their secret couldn't have been comfortable for them. It seemed like a semi-even trade. Okay, so it wasn't an even trade at all, but I would be opening myself up and that was something I never did. The least I could do was that.

I inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. It came out shakily and my nerves were nearly unbearable, but I could do this. I wouldn't let this control me. I didn't let things control me. I controlled them. That was how my life worked. That was how it had to work and that wouldn't change now.

"I've been on my own since I was twelve," I said and paused, trying to figure out what to tell them and how to do it so that I wouldn't be lying all that much. That would defeat the purpose of this whole thing. I should have thought this through a little more instead of diving straight into it, head first. My words caught their interest, and I could tell they were surprised that I was opening up. Emmett actually leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees as he watched and listened. "It's been a long time since I've had to answer to anyone or lived in a place like this." I gestured to the house as a whole. "I don't mean a big house, just a house in general. I stayed in abandoned buildings mostly. I guess abandoned houses count, don't they?" I mused. "They weren't in the best shape, but I suppose they do. At any rate, houses were rare, but whatever," I rambled.

I took another deep breath, collected myself, and went on with more purpose. "When I first struck out on my own, I was too young for people to want to hire me for legitimate work, so I had to resort to certain things, illegal things, things like pickpocketing, cat burgling, and scamming people to keep myself fed and clothed. I am not proud of those things and I constantly wish I hadn't had to do them, but it was what it was at that time and I didn't see any other way to survive.

"It wasn't until I hit fifteen that I was able to get honest jobs to pay for things, which was a relief. I never liked stealing or any of the rest of it. After that I ditched abandoned buildings in favor of shitty motels if I could, but the jobs I managed to get didn't pay all that well. I still didn't have enough money a lot of the time. I found ways to supplement my income, not illegal per se, but creative," I said with a faint smile as I thought of all the poker games I'd played and the pool I'd hustled. Even when I'd won without purposely cheating, I supposed that still counted because of my superior intellect. It made me feel somewhat better that people entered into games like that knowing with gambling there was always a chance they would walk away the loser.

I may have been smiling at those memories but it was more out of uneasiness than anything else. My heart was beating hard, like it was going to burst out of my chest, and try as I might, I could not take control of it as I was generally so good at doing. My throat and mouth were bone dry but I still was adamant that I would not let this get the better of me. I should tell them more, but I didn't feel like I could.

Carlisle was regarding me carefully. His reaction was the one I cared most about, so I paid the most attention to him, keeping an eye on the others through my peripheral vision.

"Why are you telling us this, Bella?" he asked cautiously.

I regarded him just as evenly. "I just puked my guts out after you told me your biggest secret. That's pretty much the equivalent of a slap to the face and a declaration that what you are changes my opinion of you. Even though I told you it doesn't, I don't know if those literal words convinced any of you that my reaction isn't what it looks like," I explained with another sigh. "I know some of you are already mildly aware of my criminal tendencies. I guess I just thought that if I told you some of my secrets, things that could potentially change your opinion of me, though they aren't nearly on the same level as yours, that it might make you believe I'm telling you the truth when I say that I don't give a shit what you are. Besides, you are the kindest people I've ever met even though you're not technically people. I can't ignore that. I won't ignore that because it says far more about your character than anything else ever could.

"So you're dead and you survive off blood, but so fucking what? Everyone's got something, right? Obviously, I don't share your diet or your 'beyond the grave' status, so I can't relate to you in that way, but I'm not your typical seventeen year old, and I really don't care about any of that," I repeated firmly. "I'm not sure why I reacted the way I did. Maybe it's because I'm surprised by just how okay with all of this I am when I know I shouldn't be. I don't always understand why I do things."

That last part was true. I really didn't understand my body sometimes. How I was reacting to my memories and the added elements to my hallucinations were case in point. In this case, however, that statement was a boldfaced fucking lie, and it didn't feel right rolling off my tongue.

Everyone's faces had softened. My confession had worked the way I'd wanted it to.

Carlisle's gaze shifted from one face of his family members to the next. It seemed as though they were having a silent conversation, and they very well might have been given what Edward had told me about his gift. After several seconds, he returned his eyes to mine.

"We believe you," he told me. He turned his head back to Rosalie. "Even Rose."

I had a hard time believing that but I nodded anyway, already knowing this of everyone else, and moved my gaze to a spot on the wall above their heads. I stared at it absently for a long while, thinking on all the things I'd revealed and fighting off the nausea it caused. It took me several minutes to get it under control.

"And Bella?" Carlisle's voice sounded, dragging my attention back to him. "All of this is a lot to take in. Your reaction wasn't abnormal in the least, though I can't say I wasn't a bit worried that there might have been more to it than that."

I nodded, finally putting that to rest. A thought popped into my head just after that and I was overwhelmed by curiosity over the potential answers. I had suspicions of course, I did have experience in the area after all, but I would have liked to know their methods.

"Can I ask another question?"

"When we voted on whether or not to propose you moving in with us, we made the decision to tell you everything if ever you discovered what we are," Carlisle revealed, "no matter what limitations you might still enforce in regard to your own life. So please, ask."

"How do you guys get around the Safe Citizens Act?"

Jasper grinned, looking proud that I'd asked. Then he winced, clearly remembering our conversation from the beach, but still answered, "Before the attacks, we used to move every six or seven years so humans wouldn't notice that we don't age. We generally stayed in the States but after the Act was implemented, it became necessary to move out of the country after those six to seven years. Before we make the move, Emmett, our resident computer genius and hacker extraordinaire, removes all traces of our existence from all the pertinent databases. Edward and Alice come up with backstories for each of our new identities and Esme and I take care of the documents to verify those backstories. We used to have a lawyer who took care of that stuff before the attacks," he said. "After them, that obviously wasn't an option anymore, but it wasn't much of an issue."

"But you come back to the States?" I asked.

"Yes," Alice took over. "This is home, you know? And we repeat the same pattern and process in whatever country we end up in. It's just a lot easier for the U.S. government not to notice us if we drop off the radar for a decade than it is to stick around for that time and constantly having to worry about people questioning why we're not aging. That's always been a concern, of course, but it's gotten worse since the attacks."

"That makes sense," I concurred, nodding contemplatively.

From one artist to another, I would have liked to study Jasper and Esme's forgeries to compare. Though I was very talented, there was a chance I could learn things from them. They had been doing it for much longer than I had, but I couldn't broach that subject. I didn't see how I could. It meant I would have to confess a few more things I couldn't explain.

You are such a fucking hypocrite.

"Do you have any other questions, Bella?" Carlisle asked.

I took a moment to deliberate over this and concluded that I didn't. "No, but I guess the hulking monstrosity of a mansion and all the cars you've got now make a hell of a lot more sense. You've had decades to accumulate wealth, I assume."

"That's almost all Alice," Edward said.

I raised an eyebrow.

"One of the perks of my gift is predicting stock market trends," she explained.

"Ahh," I chuckled, "that comes in pretty handy, I guess."

Alice just grinned at me.

My fatigue washed over me then and I felt inordinately weary. I hadn't slept since the day I'd napped on Jasper. A lot had happened in that time and much of it had been incredibly emotionally intense. I stretched my arms above my head, slow and languid, the burn of Jasper's eyes igniting my skin. It didn't relieve any of the exhaustion from my muscles or brain, and I yawned.

"I'm pretty tired," I admitted. "I think I'm gonna crash for a while."

As I ascended the stairs, a lightbulb went off in my head. I turned on my heel and hurried back down them, taking them three steps at a time and racing back into the living room. I skidded to a halt in front of Jasper, my eyes wide.

oOo

JPOV

I hadn't known what to expect when Bella discovered what we are. She was such a fuckin' mystery, so it was impossible to guess. It had been touch and go when she'd rushed to the bathroom and upchucked everything she'd eaten ever, and everyone's distress over that had nearly overwhelmed me. Hers was a normal reaction to everything she'd learned if one really thought about it, but there had been a fear in all of us that we were being rejected by her. Even Peter and Charlotte's confidence, which had been rock solid, had been shaken by that. It had been so unexpected. She'd taken everything so well up until then, so completely in stride it was actually kind of disturbing to see her react like a normal person for once. That she'd opened up to us about her own life in an effort to convince us that her opinion of us hadn't changed was shocking, but it eased all of our minds, and Esme and Carlisle had been so thoroughly touched. Even Rosalie had softened up. Her attitude may have changed toward Bella significantly in the last days, but my actions had screwed with that, and Rose had been fighting hard against the progress she'd made. The idea that Bella might have been rejecting us hadn't helped, but Bella's effort to appease us had gone a long way in fixing it.

We were all relieved that this was over, that our secret was finally out, and that we no longer had to hide. To be able to truly be ourselves in our own home, the one place we had always been able to be what we are without fear of getting caught would be wonderful, and everyone was looking forward to it. Mostly though, everyone was pleased to have Bella 100% "with" us now. She was still hesitant and standoffish, but she knew we were vampires and she didn't care. The family saw potential in that.

I did too but I was concerned about her. She had made a monumental and difficult decision to share those things about herself. They hadn't seen her in Louisville or been on the beach with us. They'd always suspected she had a hard time with vulnerability and opening up, and they were right. Her body's reactions as she told us proved it, but the family still hadn't been there the way I had. They hadn't seen it the way I had. Not only that, but I understood from my recent experiences in telling Edward and Carlisle about some of my past. It was no wonder Bella was tired after the events of the past couple days between the accident, our huge revelations and hers. I was glad she was headed upstairs to sleep because she did look genuinely exhausted. She needed the sleep, and part of me wished I could curl up with her the way we had when she'd unintentionally dozed off on me. That desire was one I refused to think on or dissect.

When she skidded to a halt in front of me, wide-eyed, not thirty seconds after she'd started up to her room, I was surprised.

"You're Jasper Whitlock," she whispered in astonishment, her breathing coming hard and fast.

My brow furrowed, and I frowned in confusion. She knew what my name was. Why the fuck was she saying it like that?

Emmett sidled up to her and raised his hand to her forehead like he was going to check for a fever and I tensed. Bella batted it away before it made contact with her skin and I relaxed. He was just as confused as I was, as the rest of the family was for that matter. "You've known that for nearly two months now, Bella."

Bella only spared him a brief glance before she looked back at me, her eyes no less wide. She gestured at me wildly. "No, he's Jasper fucking Whitlock!"

My frown deepened.

"Aren't you?" she asked, but then she shook her head. "No, you have to be."

"Why are you saying Jazz's name like he's a celebrity or something?" Emmett asked, plopping back down next to Rosalie.

"Because he is!" she exclaimed. "Kind of."

"What are you talkin' about, sugar?" I questioned warily, still baffled as fuck.

"Major Jasper Whitlock of the Confederate Army of The Civil War?" Bella finally explained. "Major Jasper Whitlock from Houston, Texas who joined up in 1861 at the age of twenty, and by the first battle of Galveston in 1863 was the youngest major in Texas? Major Jasper Whitlock who went MIA while evacuating women and children from the city during that battle?"

Emmett looked dumbfounded, as did everyone else. My mouth dropped open in astonishment.

"That's you, isn't it?" she asked me.

"How in the fuck do you know that?" I demanded, but there was no bite to it. I was too shell-shocked for it to come out with any malice. I may have been the youngest major in Texas in Confederate Army history, but I wasn't that well-known. I had died before I'd had a chance to make an indelible mark on the war effort. Those who did know who I was as a human tended to be serious historians, so Bella connecting my name correctly to who I was as a very minor historical figure was mind-boggling. Not to mention, I didn't want her to make that connection. It was one thing for her to know I was a vampire. It was entirely another for her to get her hands on a little piece of a clue that could lead her to who I'd been after I was turned. I didn't want her to know about who I'd been then; she did not need to know.

"I knew it!" she crowed, pumping her fist in the air and doing a victorious little hop I would have found cute if she'd been doing it for any other reason. "Your name has been bugging the shit out of me ever since you told me what it really was!"

"I repeat," I growled, though not venomously, "how the fuck do you know that?"

Bella shrugged noncommittally. "One of my former history instructors believed that war is the single most important aspect of history. He believed it was so important that he didn't teach me about anything else, and he was very …" she paused, her features taking on a bitter twist "... thorough. He was kind of fanatical about it actually, not just about teaching it to me, but about war itself. As you can imagine, he was a great lover of all things war-related, especially the military leaders of them. He was hugely interested in some of the lesser known ones, but not the ones that didn't rise through the ranks because of mediocrity. He was terribly fascinated with the ones that had serious potential but were killed in action or went missing and were presumed dead before they had the opportunity to realize that potential. He made it his business to know as much about them as he could, and then he made it my business to know," she said. "He was particularly fond of you. Hell, I'd even go so far as to say he was a fanboy."

"What? Why?" I asked, taken aback. I had been a good soldier as a human, but I'd been promoted more because of the infancy and lack of organization of the Confederate Army at the time, as well as what I now knew were the human makings of my empathic gift.

"For a lot of reasons," she responded, plopping onto the floor in front of me and crossing her legs. She was gazing at me with rapt interest. It made me really uncomfortable.

I raised my eyebrows in question.

"Your age and how quickly you rose through the ranks, for starters," she said, "and then there are the journals."

"Journals?" I queried. If I hadn't been confused before, which I absolutely was, I sure as fuck was now.

"Your regiment served under Major General John B. Magruder, did it not?"

I nodded.

"He was the guy who became the Confederate commander of military forces in Texas and arranged the attack on Galveston in the first place, but you already know that," she guessed.

I did and I nodded to confirm it. Any Civil War buff did. Seeing as I was a Civil War vet, it would have been irresponsible and downright offensive for me not to. Plus, though I didn't remember much of my human life, I did remember him a little. He was the one who'd put me in charge of evacuating the women and children during the battle of Galveston, and before that, he had personally begun to school me in the art of strategy and ruse—the things for which he was well-known in battle, and though my memories of him as a man were hazy and indistinct, I remembered his lessons very vividly. Maria had continued those lessons after I was turned.

Bella continued to speak in response to my confirmation. "He kept journals."

"So?"

"He wrote about you," Bella said.

"Are you fucking with me?" I pressed. I would not appreciate it if she was. I was proud of my human military career.

"No," she answered with a frown. "My teacher had … connections. He was capable of getting his hands on very rare and valuable historical artifacts, and he often did. Those journals were some of those artifacts. He studied them scrupulously and then he made me study them just as scrupulously. You're in Major General John B. Magruder's personal wartime journals, Jasper. I've read them."

"No, shit," Peter whistled lowly. "Isn't that somethin', Major?"

It was the first time Peter had called me that in front of Bella. It was the first time he could get away with it without raising serious questions in her.

"Yeah, it's something," I muttered in disbelief, barely audible.

"What did they say?" Alice asked enthusiastically, bouncing in her seat in her excitement and inquisitive desire to know.

It was another piece to the mystery puzzle that was me. My time as a soldier in the Southern Wars wasn't the only period of my life I had never discussed. I kept my time in The Civil War relatively close to the vest as well. I was proud of it, but talking about it inevitably led to talking about how I was turned and where I'd subsequently ended up.

Bella studied me for several moments before she answered, and I again wondered what she was looking for. "Do you want it word for word or will the gist of it suffice?"

"The gist," I replied, hiding my uncertainty over whatever it was she was about to say.

"He said you were the most impressive young man he'd ever met. He said he'd never encountered anyone more gifted with words but that your ability to draw people in verbally wasn't what made you so impressive. He said it was your ability to draw people to you without speaking that was truly remarkable, that your presence was so dynamic it was impossible to ignore or deny," she said. I had a tough time deciphering the emotion coloring her tone. "He said you were compassionate and empathetic but great at storing that away when it was needed, that you were just as good with horses as you were with people, that you were a quick learner and picked up battle strategy with an ease and adeptness he'd never seen. He believed that if you survived until the war reached its conclusion, he wouldn't be surprised if you ended up leading not just the entire Texas faction of the Confederate Army but the Confederate Army as a whole, and that if the Confederacy won it would be because of you. He said that if there ever was such a thing as the perfect soldier, you were as close to it as anyone would ever get. He said you were born for it, and he was disheartened when you went missing."

I sucked in a sharp and unneeded breath that stuck in my throat. I shot to my feet, marched stiffly to the front door, and threw my fist against the wood. It cracked and then splintered, exploding into hundreds of pieces. The shrill keen of tearing metal filled the air, the door hewn clean off its hinges, the pieces flying God knows where. I didn't bother to look, and I didn't run off into the trees that led into the forest surrounding the house though my tense, coiled muscles were poised to do just that. I stalked off calmly, my pace measured but determined, needing to put as much distance between myself and the world as I could.

No one followed me and that was best. I would have ripped anyone apart that did.

I had often wondered if being a soldier was the only thing I was good for. It often seemed like it was the only thing I was good at, and even after all these years away from the Southern Wars, being a soldier was still what made the most sense to me a lot of the time. Now I had my answer. I was born to be a soldier both in my human life and this one. I was destined for it and nothing else. I'd been fucked from the moment I'd taken my first breath.

How very fuckin' poetic.