Chapter Twenty: I Gotta Get Out Of Here

Marco

It's been a month since the…incident at the hospital. It was the best incident that I've had in a long, long time. Not that I didn't love my time with Rory, but, I've been waiting for this. I love being with Andrew.

Ever since he was released from the hospital, he's been staying in my room. It is the best feeling in the world waking up next to him every morning. We have so much time to spend together that we don't really hang out with anyone anymore.

I haven't spoken to Jesse since that night either. He won't talk to me at all. But surprise, surprise, he's back with Rex. If he wasn't being such a hypocrite, I probably would have apologized by now. But I can't change what happened, and I'm not going to either.

Now it's the first official day of Christmas break. I'm leaving here and going straight to Andrew's apartment in New York City (it's like his third home or something). Apparently it's huge, and he can invite anyone he wants to. He told me to invite Craig and Nate, so I did. But Nate's the only one out of that group that will even talk to me. He said he's not taking sides, and he's glad that I didn't get into anything that I wasn't ready for.

Obviously, Rex sided with Jesse, and since he's pretending to be the perfect boyfriend, Lindsey and Thomas won't talk to me either. I don't really care though. All I need is Andrew.

"Ready to go?" I asked my boyfriend, wrapping my arms around his waist and kissing his neck.

"Sorry. There's a bit of a delay…" he trailed off, turning around to face me.

"What is it?" I asked, frowning. I was definitely looking forward to getting away from this school for awhile.

"I have an appointment…tonight. So we can't leave until after," he said, sighing. Andrew's been going to mandatory counseling for his little stunt. I traced the scars on his arms and sighed.

"It's fine, really." I brushed some of his now-brown hair out of his face and smiled. "What time is that appointment?" I asked.

"Oh we definitely have some time to kill…" he said, grabbing my hand and leading me over to our bed. Yes, our bed.

Jesse

It's funny how life changes so much. Well, it's not really funny, just weird. I moved into Rex's room, and he's been with me every single night since we got back together. I know this because I haven't slept in two months. Every night, after we have sex, he falls asleep, but I don't. I stay awake and watch his chest rise and fall. I watch his every move. And never once has he tried to get up and leave.

The only sleep I get is on the bus rides into the city, or during my free period when I know Rex is in class. But Rex isn't the only reason that I stay awake. I stay awake because of Marco.

I haven't talked to him since the day that I told him he lost me. And I miss him. But there's no turning back now. I have Rex, which is all I've ever wanted. So why do I miss him? When I sat down next to Marco that first day on the train, something happened. For the first time, I felt like I could be better without Rex.

Yet here I am, lying next to him and hearing him breathe. I felt him move under my head so I sat up, running a hand through his hair.

"You're always awake before me," he muttered, opening his eyes and smiling.

"Of course," I said. He has no idea that I keep watch over him. That I don't trust him.

"And why is that?" he asked, sitting up and putting an arm around me.

"Because the best part of my day is watching you wake up," I said truthfully.

"Why? I look like shit when I wake up," he said rubbing his eyes.

"You look like you. You look amazing."

"And so do you," he said, leaning in and kissing me. "Today is the first day of Christmas break. And we're gonna get out of this place," he added, smiling.

"I can't wait. Where are we going?" I asked, kissing his neck and snuggling up into his chest.

"It's a surprise. I hope you like it," he replied, tugging at the edge of my sleeve.

"I will. I like everything you do." Lately, I added that last bit in my mind.

"I love you Jesse," he said, grabbing my hand and squeezing it.

"I love you too."

Nate

I moved in with Craig the night Andrew came back from the hospital. Andrew moved in with Marco, so Jesse moved in with Rex, so I had to move somewhere.

Living with Craig is bittersweet. Of course he lied to me that day; he didn't take his meds. And he still doesn't. But I take mine, and it softens the blows I get from him every night.

I have to be really careful about what I say or do, or I'll get hit. I know it's not his fault; it's his disease. I can't force him to take his medication, but I still love him. I can't just give up on him.

After he hits me, he's always immediately sorry, and makes up for it with sex usually. That's all our relationship is; beatings and sex. I fell for him too quickly, and it's too hard to get out of this hole.

So I just take the drugs to get by.

"Good morning," Craig said, wrapping his arms around me. Sleep is the only peace I have. I'm able to be close to Craig, to feel him with me, and I don't get hurt.

"Morning," I replied, playing with the curls in his hair. I never added 'good' in front of that greeting, because I wasn't sure if the morning would be good or bad.

"You excited that we get two weeks off?" he asked, giving me a quick kiss.

"Not really…I don't get to spend it with you," I said, sighing. My response was partly truthful.

"God Nate, why can't you ever be happy?" he groaned, getting up and walking towards the bathroom. "You should really work on that." He went in and shut the door, leaving me lying there in disbelief.

"I'm not happy because you hurt me," I said softly.

I got up, popped two of my pills, and went into the bathroom, joining him in the shower.

"You're not mad at me, are you?" he asked, pulling me close to him and kissing my cheek.

"No, why would I be?" I asked.

"Because I'm not bringing you back home with me."

"Don't worry about it Craig. I know that you need to tell Joey on your own about us. I don't want to make things harder for you," I told him, hugging him.

We washed each other in silence, smiling and making out from time to time. I was thinking about how I could be so happy and so unhappy at the same time. Craig drew me out of my thoughts when he turned me around. I bent over mechanically; I'm used to this. It's always his turn nowadays.

Thomas

I woke up around twelve in the afternoon to banging on the door. I had planned on sleeping even later since I didn't have class. It's finally the first day of Christmas break. And I'm not going home.

"Coming!" I yelled, grumpy. I stood up and went to the door in my boxers. Lindsey, the lucky bastard, slept through all of the banging and yelling. I flung the door open, prepared to give the knocker a piece of my mind, by my mouth hung open. Great, what's this about?

Two cops were standing there, looking agitated. What did I do now? As far as I know, I haven't been sleeping with any random girls. I haven't even gone out drinking since I found out about Kate. Not that I'm even sure if it's my baby or not. But something like that'll really sober a guy up. There's no fun to drinking anymore.

"Hello?" one of the men shouted at me. I had drifted into thought, but he brought my attention straight back to him.

"Yeah?" I asked, scratching my head.

"Are you Lindsey Malloy?" the other one asked me, with a hand on his handcuffs. Shit. Sucks for Linds.

"No…that'd be him right over there," I said, pointing to my roommate who was still sleeping.

They shoved past me and walked up to Lindsey's bed. One of the cops shoved him in the shoulder and he groaned, opened his eyes, and sat up quickly.

"Lindsey Malloy?"

"Yeah?" he asked, annoyed and scared at the same time.

"Get up."

He obeyed, and stood, facing both of them. He had his MGA sweatpants on, but no shirt.

"Turn around and put your hands behind your back," one officer commanded.

"What? Why?" he asked, his voice rising.

"You're under arrest for the statutory rape of Sarah Williams."

Remy

Ever since Parent's Day, I've been staying over with Kelly. Nate moved in with Craig, and I sure as hell wasn't going to stay and listen to their sex every night. Besides, with Kelly, I get sex of my own every night. So it works out.

He's a little attached to me, but I just shrug it off. He always wants to cuddle after the sex, but I don't do cuddling. I always shove him off and then he gets upset, but he'll get over it. For me, this is about the sex and only the sex.

I do need a break from him though. So over Christmas, I'm inviting Theresa to stay at my house. Our parents are only home on Christmas Eve and Christmas during the holiday break. So me and my brothers are just gonna have our friends over and party pretty much the rest of the time. Which means Theresa can sleepover too.

I waited until I was outside of Kelly's hearing area to call Theresa. The phone rang five times, and then went to voicemail. That's weird. She always answers when I call. She wouldn't be in class or anything…

The third time I called, she answered, sounding extremely annoyed.

"What?" she snapped.

"Reesa it's me. What's wrong?" I asked her.

"You're seriously going to pretend that you don't know? You're such an ass Remy," she spat.

"What are you talking about?" I really had no idea.

"Your little boyfriend told me everything. So drop the act," she yelled.

"Who? What?" I now knew what she was talking about, but it was best to pretend I didn't.

"Mr. James!" she shrieked.

"Look, I don't know what you're talking about. That dude has hated me ever since I walked into his class! Whatever he said to you, it's not true!" I lied, begging for her to believe me.

"Then how would he know about your birthmark? Or your scar? You're full of shit Remy Michaels and I hope I never have to talk to you again. It's over between us."

And then she hung up.

I'm gonna kill Kelly.

Rory

I can't wait to get out of this place, but, at the same time, I want to stay. If I go home during this stupid break, I'll just end up seeing Andrew and Marco together every day. It's been a month and I haven't gotten over him. I'm still in love with Marco, and I'm still in love with Andrew, and I have to see them together.

And I'm the only one that's alone here. Andrew moved in with Marco, which caused everyone to switch rooms. Remy doesn't even come here, he goes to Kelly's house and somehow still gets to school on time.

I've found ways to deal; but it's not the same.

Nothing's the same as being with Marco.

And nothing's the same as Andrew's kiss.

I'm just some fucked up pathetic teenager.

And I hate it.

Rex

Jesse fell asleep shortly after I woke up. I know that he's been making sure I don't leave him every night. Otherwise, why would he look so tired all the time and sleep on the bus? I'm not an idiot.

I knew I didn't have long, but I went to see someone else I cared about.

And she didn't like it one bit.

"It doesn't matter Rex!" I know you want this, but it can't happen! I shouldn't have done any of it, but I can't change things now. You need to move on with your life," Alyssa said. I had just told her that we should still be together. I was doing it for Gracie. My daughter.

"I can't. She's my daughter too. You can't keep her from me or I'll tell," I said firmly.

"You'd get kicked out of school. And I'd be fired. Do you really want that to happen?" she asked, tears in her eyes.

"I'd do anything for that baby," I told her, refusing to falter.

"Fine. But I hate you for this."

"I love you Alyssa."

"But I don't love you."

The truth was; I don't love her. I'm absolutely in love with Jesse. He means everything to me. But if I don't sleep with Alyssa or tell her I love her, I know that she'd keep Gracie from me.

I can't believe I'm doing this to Jesse.

Again.

But I can't lose my daughter.

A/N: Yet another chapter. How was it? I didn't get as many reviews as I really wanted for the last chapter, but all my faithful reviewers left one so I gotta update for them...you know who you are and I love you guys...thanks! Anyway, I just wrote chapter 23, and I've realized that I'll most likely (not a promise) make it to 30 chapters for this story. 25 is just not going to cut it. And of course, I desperately want to do a sequel...buuuut I also have an Ellie story that I need to work on. Don't worry though...lots more drama up ahead!