A/N: Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I'm only making her characters do my bidding for a little while. The plot and original characters do belong to me, however. Jasper as the God of War and Peter "just knowing shit" are ideas that belong to Idreamofdeddy.
Thank you to Shelljayz, my awesome and beloved sister and beta/prereader, who helps to clear my head and unstick me when I get stuck, Laurie Whitlock, my wonderful and cherished friend and prereader, and juliangelus, another wonderful and dear friend and prereader. I love you guys.
To those of you that have read, followed, favorited, and reviewed: you are amazingly awesome and I cherish you.
MUST READ—IMPORTANT! Some things that need to be kept in mind:
1. I am still on my every other week posting schedule for the same reasons I started it in the first place.
2. Though Jasper hasn't admitted it to himself, he does have PTSD. That is why he makes progress with Bella and then regresses, makes progress and regresses, but that won't last forever. He will start to make some genuine progress with less regression soon.
3. Jasper and Bella have not known each other long. They met at the end of July and spent a few hours together, during which they didn't speak. They met again in early September, and though Jasper spent a couple of hours watching her, he and Bella spent a grand total of 45 minutes together in the alley, not all of which was spent talking. Bella moved in on October 23rd. It is now November 26th, which is only a little over a month, and Bella was gone for five of those days. Jasper was deeply scarred by what Maria and Savannah did to him as far as mating goes. The fake mating bond Savannah forged between him and Maria was warped and twisted. It scarred him so much and so thoroughly turned him against the idea of mates that he has never asked what happens when a vampire finds his or her mate. He knows what the end result feels like from his time with all the mated couples in the family, but he doesn't know the signs of the pull, and he told Edward as much in chapter 28. This is part of the reason why he hasn't figured out what Bella is to him, not to mention that he's really only been exposed to it for a short while. There is also his stubbornness which stems from his experiences with Maria and Savannah. I also have very specific, very big plans for when, why, and how he finally figures it out. That doesn't mean I won't throw you a bone or two in the meantime. :)
4. I know you are all eager for Bella to share her secret with the Cullens, but that won't be happening for a while. I also have very specific plans for that.
Now, on to the chapter!
oOo
Thursday, November 26th, 2080 ... Thanksgiving
BPOV
Jasper and I had gotten home mid-afternoon the day before. As soon as we walked through the door, Esme announced that we would not be spending Thanksgiving in Forks. She'd given it some thought and decided she wanted my first Thanksgiving with the family to be special. It was incredibly difficult for me not to tell her that no matter what we did for the holiday, it would be special since it was my first one that didn't include a soup kitchen meal or a feast of canned goods, a candle, and nothing but the pitter-patter of rain for company. Revealing that would only make her weepy and the rest of them feel sorry for me, and protesting the extravagance would get me nowhere, whether they knew that or not.
I wasn't exactly bothered that we were leaving town for a couple days. Disappearing from Forks, even for a short while, was good to throw hunters off my trail, if they were even on my trail in the first place. I doubted they were, but it was always best to err on the side of caution. I would do whatever I could to protect the Cullens while I was still with them.
As a compromise to the wolves for the Cullens taking me out of the Forks area, Leah and I were now calling each other at least three times a day to check in. We spent a few minutes after these check-ins chatting about whatever, Leah's need for a girlfriend spurring both of us on. I wasn't exactly being the bestie she was hoping for, I still couldn't be, but I was making an effort because I really did like her. It was yet another sign I was going soft and I hated it, but that didn't seem to stop me from not putting the kibosh on it. I suspected these phone calls would continue when we returned to Forks and until I left.
So now here my vampire almost-family and I were at the Cullens custom-built lodge in Columbia Falls, Montana. It wasn't large in the way of most lodges. It had a main house and two separate cabins—one called the North Fork and the other the South Fork. Each dwelling was gorgeous, just like the mansion in Washington, but the atmosphere of it was entirely different. Instead of pure, clean lines, modern furniture and an abundance of white, it was rustic, all wood and brick, browns and greens and tans, but still state-of-the-art in its appliances and entertainment equipment. The mansion in Forks was so very Esme, but as starkly different as this place was, it was distinctly Esme as well. The twenty acres of pristinely manicured grounds with the private pond, and an empty, unneeded barn and corrals helped with that feeling.
I claimed the North Fork cabin because it was furthest away from the other buildings—the human needed the most distance to limit the possibility of the sounds of the couples' nocturnal "activities" hindering sleep. I would still be able to hear them, so it was wishful thinking, but I was hoping anyway, and I did want the sleep. I could go weeks without it, but if that wasn't necessary, I liked to rest more often, and I'd actually been getting tired more quickly lately. I couldn't force myself to sleep if my body was fully "charged" so to speak, but I could lull myself into a meditative state that was like sleep. With my ability to focus through anything, it wasn't hard to transition into that state with all the moaning, cursing, screaming, scratching, spanking ... It was just annoying, and the taste of bile in my mouth from overhearing it was not something a girl wanted to wake up to.
Carlisle, Esme, Edward and Alice took the main house, while Peter, Charlotte, Emmett and Rosalie commandeered the South Fork cabin. That meant Jasper had to bunk with me.
Isn't that fucking peachy? I groaned internally. He and I were getting along, enjoying each other's company at times even, and I believed I was off to a good start in proving to him that I wasn't just a cold bitch, but he still brought out a dangerous urge to share more about myself than was good for anyone—I had shared many things of that nature the day before—so staying in an even tinier enclosed space with him?
Shit! Not cool, but there were only six bedrooms and the last two were in the North Fork cabin. I had no choice. I suppose I should be thankful that there weren't only five and that we didn't have to bunk in the same room. It wasn't much of a comfort. At least we had separate bathrooms, but that wasn't much of a comfort either.
The even more troubling reason why it was a bad idea for me to be in such a small space with him was currently right before my eyes. Jasper was standing at the front window of the cabin, his back to me, wearing nothing but a pair of black boxer briefs, his golden hair dripping from a recent shower. This place didn't have any window walls, but it did have plenty of plain old windows, and they allowed the freshly risen sun to bathe him in soft light. It highlighted the toned muscles of his back and legs, his skin pulled taut across them in a very enticing way. Those boxer briefs clung to his ass in a downright delicious way; if I thought it looked fantastic in the jeans he wore, it was fucking heart-stopping in nothing but his underwear. The way the sunlight made his skin glow, it cast his many scars in a soft pattern that made him look anything but soft. He looked nothing short of powerful and commanding because of them, the perfection and strength his body itself conveyed having nothing to do with it, and all of those things I'd observed just by taking in his back. If I saw him from the front ...
I swallowed hard, and my mouth went dry. Heat seared every nerve in my body, penetrating my bones and shooting to my center, making me throb with want. Jasper was just so damn beautiful, but he was also sexy, hot, rugged, manly. He was perfect—physically at least. My body's reaction to his was visceral, and my panties grew wet.
Damn it!
It was fucking embarrassing, and if I couldn't control that, I would damn well control my heart rate and blood flow. I was successful in not only that but in keeping my breathing from speeding up. It didn't much matter though because he could smell how he was affecting me.
Son of a bitch!
I about-faced and headed back to my room, climbing back into bed and pulling the comforter over my head. Why? Why? Why? Why did I have to be so attracted to Jasper fucking Whitlock? Why?
It didn't matter, I decided. People were attracted to other people all the time. It didn't mean anything beyond that. All it meant was that I was normal. Normal was good. I liked Jasper, but I didn't like him, and I was leaving. So I was attracted to him, so the fuck what? I would continue to ignore it.
oOo
I dragged myself out of bed at nine—after Jasper left. I took a hot bath and soaked for forty-five minutes, enjoying the heat I was actually allowing myself to feel as I so rarely did, thankful that the ache Jasper had evoked was finally gone and that I could wash away the scent of my arousal. All I wanted was to erase all the evidence of what happened this morning and pretend it hadn't at all.
While I lazed in the water, my phone beeped, indicating that I'd received a text message, and the notification noise made my eyes widen. I rushed to get out of the tub, toweling off quickly, scrubbing my hair as dry as I was willing to take the time to get it, and throwing on a white camisole and a pair of matching bikini-cut underwear before I dashed to my room and my phone on the bedside table.
I opened the message, clicking the first link in the body of it and perusing the content of the article at lightning speed ...
Louisville Native Convicted of Murder in the First Degree
Rafe Jones, 32, a native of Louisville, was arrested in early September after witnesses—wife, Lydia, 31, daughter, Elizabeth, 6, and neighbors, John and Cindy Taylor—saw him stab teenage foster child, Jane Doe, in the chest after an altercation during which the girl was attempting to protect Lydia and Elizabeth from a physical attack by Mr. Jones. According to witnesses, Mr. Jones lost his job after several incidents of drunkenness while working and attacked Mrs. Jones, claiming that she was at fault for his termination. Jane Doe returned to the house during the attack and attempted to intervene, resulting in the stabbing. Lydia Jones also testified that daughter Elizabeth tried to come to both her and Jane's aid when Mr. Jones overpowered them both.
Medical records corroborate Mrs. Jones' claims of prior physical abuse, not only of her and her daughter but of the seven foster children residing in the Jones' home.
The start of Mr. Jones' four week trial was delayed by the erroneous cremation of Jane Doe's body by the University of Louisville Hospital morgue, and though there was ample evidence to move forward with the case against Mr. Jones even without the body, an investigation into the error had to be completed first.
Two days ago, the overwhelming evidence against Mr. Jones resulted in the jury finding him guilty of first degree murder and multiple counts of assault and battery, along with all other charges brought against him. Yesterday, he was sentenced to life in prison with no possibility of parole and will serve out his sentence at Kentucky State Penitentiary.
A slow smile broke out across my face as I finished the article, and I felt a huge swell of victory. If that wasn't something to be thankful for, especially today, I had no idea what was.
I went back to the text message and clicked on the second link ...
Suspected Serial Killer Caught: Missing Man Found, Linked to String of Murders Police Hadn't Connected to Each Other
On November 19th, Salt Lake City police received an anonymous tip revealing the coordinates of reportedly-missing accountant, Derek Henry, 35. Following up on the tip, police raided the small cabin in Capitol Reef National Park at those coordinates to find that Derek Henry was, in fact, being held there. The person he claims is responsible for his kidnapping was nowhere to be found, and an investigation into the crime is underway. He wasn't the only thing found there, however. What else was found along with him? Evidence linking the well-respected accountant to at least six murders over the past ten years. The murder of each victim occurred in a different state, the police in each city never picking up on the connection between them until now.
He has been officially charged with six counts of first degree murder as of yesterday, the 25th of November. The trial date has not yet been determined due to the fact that it is still an on-going investigation. It will begin as soon as all aspects of this case have been thoroughly investigated and concluded, which is looking like it won't be until sometime in the new year.
We will keep you updated as the case unfolds.
The grin on my face stretched impossibly wider, so much so it made my cheeks and jaw ache. My sense of victory multiplied tenfold, bursting out of me with a fierce energy. I whooped and hollered and cheered, hopping, jumping, twirling, pirouetting, shimmying and shaking all over the cabin.
After a couple minutes, a throat cleared behind me. I spun around to see all of the Cullens crowded just inside the doorway of the cabin, all looking very amused by my little dance routine. I was too fucking happy to be embarrassed, even if it did take me a few seconds to remember that I was in nothing but a cami and a pair of panties. I didn't care and to showcase that, I did the first thing that came to mind—I rushed up to the person in my direct line of sight, leaped up, wrapped my legs around that person's waist and planted a sloppy but solid kiss on their lips. That person was Rosalie.
She stared back at me with wide, disbelieving eyes, but I didn't remove my lips from hers, and she was too shell-shocked to push me away. I let her go several moments later, brightly chirping, "Happy Thanksgiving, Blondie!"
I didn't wait to see if she was angry with me for the kiss before I retreated back to my room to put some clothes on, dancing the whole way there.
Now all I needed to do was take the remaining four hundred ten thousand dollars I'd won from poker and betting on horse racing in Louisville and set up college funds for Matt, Alana, Jax, Elizabeth, Lucas, Mari and Shiri.
oOo
The next several hours were spent doing fun, wintery activities since it had been snowing the past few days. Thankfully, it had let up so far today, but the landscape was still a picturesque white that appeared almost magical.
Right after I got dressed and ate the breakfast Esme annoyingly would not let me help fix, we split into teams of five—Jasper, Peter, Charlotte, Carlisle and I versus Emmett, Rosalie, Edward, Alice and Esme—for a snowball fight. It may have seemed like our team had the advantage with Jasper, Peter and Charlotte as the main offense and defense to make up for my human "deficiencies," and Alice and Esme appearing to be the weakest links on the other team. The two of them, however, were fierce competitors and held their own marvelously. The fight was frustrating for me because I had to hold myself back in almost every way—strength, speed, strategy—but I still had a great time. Jasper, Peter and Charlotte were especially brilliant at all the things I had to hold myself back on, and it won us the snowball fight and gloating rights.
Then it was building snowmen or snow sculptures. Emmett built a ten foot tall Batman. Peter constructed an oversized leprechaun doing a handstand. Rosalie sculpted a 1961 Jaguar E-Type and Charlotte a Southern belle. Alice crafted a Jimmy Choo bootie (I had to be enlightened by her as to exactly what it was) and Edward built a six foot bust of Mozart. Carlisle decided on the knight piece of a chess set and Esme designed a grandfather clock. Jasper molded a perfect John Wayne, and I rendered Wildfire into a snow statue.
After that, Esme excused herself to check on the turkey and began to work on the rest of Thanksgiving dinner. Carlisle went with her.
I ice skated for a bit before I headed to the main house to help, after I could no longer put up with my frustration over not being able to skate to my full ability, especially as I watched all the rest of the Cullens navigate the ice so gracefully and occasionally use their vampire talents to their advantage.
By 3:30 pm dinner only had forty-five minutes to go, so I went back to my cabin to get ready. It was my first real Thanksgiving, and I wanted to look nice. Esme wasn't requiring it, but I knew she and the rest of the family would because that's just how she was, how most all of them were. Of course, none of them had to make any real effort to look nice since they were perfect, beautiful vampires, but they still always dressed with a polished style that shamed most people, whether they were vampires or not.
I'd purchased a dress for the occasion to make it extra special. It was a knee-length, one-shoulder, not quite pumpkin-colored chiffon with a ruched band that cinched just under the empire-waistline. The skirt flowed out around the hips and the bodice was snug but not too snug, and my heels were deceptively sturdy, nude peep toe stilettos. All aspects of this outfit met my requirements in that it was as battle compatible as a dress and heels could get.
My hair was pulled back in an elegant updo, subtle gold shadow coloring my eyes, black liner edging them and mascara coating my lashes. Rose gloss was slicked on my lips. As always, I wore my phoenix pendant and titanium cuff bracelet. I liked the reflection I saw in the mirror. The girl looking back at me was pretty, and she was dressing up for a holiday, not for a covert mission. It was normal. Normal was good; normal was nice. Normal felt great.
The "kids" of the Cullen family showed up just after I slipped on the long navy coat Alice had helped me pick out during the shopping trip to Seattle the day after I moved in.
"Yo, Nelson ManBella!" Emmett bellowed. "Dinner's nearly ready!"
I stifled a dubious laugh. "Did you just call me Nelson ManBella?"
"Yeah," Emmett said offhandedly, as if I was hard of hearing. "You know, that South African dude who spent all those years in prison and then became leader of his country—"
"I know who Nelson Mandela is, Emmett," I interrupted. "What I'm trying to figure out is why you called me Nelson ManBella."
"Because he's a dumbass," Edward piped up.
Emmett was unfazed by Edward's insult or the laughs of Rosalie and his brothers and sisters, his focus not leaving me as I tried to figure out where on earth he had come up with that name, of all things.
"It's a play on your names," Emmett stated. "You know, 'Bella,' 'Mandela'—"
"Yes," I acknowledged impatiently. "I understand the concept behind the name fusion, but I still don't get why you called me that."
"You said I could call you anything but Bells, 'within reason,'" he answered, shrugging and using air quotes.
"And Nelson ManBella is what you came up with?" I asked incredulously, my eyebrows shooting up.
"I'm trying things out," Emmett responded, shrugging again. "You don't like it?"
I snorted, shaking my head and pressing my palm to my forehead. "No, Emmett, I don't, and I can't even ask you if you pulled that out of your ass because even that is not an obscure enough place for that name to have come from."
"I thought it was creative," Emmett protested. With a pout, he turned to Rosalie. "It is creative isn't it, babe?"
"Absolutely, sweetheart," Rosalie mollified him, patting him on the arm as a soft smile taking over her lips. She obviously thought it was.
"There's no doubt," I agreed, feeling a strange need to comfort Emmett as well. "And I think I kind of love you for it."
Did I mean actual love? No. No, I didn't.
Emmett grinned at me. "Okay, so you don't like it. I'll think of something else, and it's good you think you love me because I know I love you."
I froze. No one had ever told me they loved me before. It made me feel warm and kind of tingly ... and wary, very wary. I decided to ignore it for now and just enjoy the day, so I adjusted the skirt of my dress through my coat, and launched myself up onto Emmett's back with minimal unease at the closeness of our bodies. "Onward to our humble castle abode, faithful steed."
Emmett cast a glance at me over his shoulder, his grin having stretched even wider across his face. "As you wish, milady."
oOo
When I took my coat off Alice squealed. "Oh, Bella! That dress is fantastic! And those shoes? Where did you get them?"
"At Nordstrom."
She grinned. "It looks great on you. All of it does, even your phoenix pendant and cuff. I couldn't have picked better myself."
I smiled back and decided to pump up her ego. It was Thanksgiving after all. I was feeling generous. "Oh, I'm sure you could have."
A grin broke out across her face, and Edward smiled too, mouthing "thank you" to me from behind her. I just gave him a minute nod. Then they joined hands and retreated to the living room, already having been dismissed from helping by Esme.
"You do look lovely, Bella," Esme called out as she continued to bustle about the kitchen, pots and pans clanging and dishes and glassware clinking together.
"Thank you." I accepted the compliment as gracefully as I could and made my way toward her so I could pick up helping where I left off before I went to get ready. The only reason I was still in the kitchen lending a hand was out of sheer stubbornness.
Carlisle smiled kindly over Esme's shoulder. "My dear wife is absolutely correct. That color looks wonderful with your skin."
I gave him a smile and a small nod of thanks, not able to say the words again because of how uneasy compliments made me feel.
"You do look gorgeous, Bella." The statement was muttered quietly, almost silently to a normal human ear, with a hesitant quality, and it was spoken in a rich beautiful voice that sounded like harp music—Rosalie.
I studied her curiously, pausing in my slicing of a tomato for a salad. She was definitely hesitant, and I wasn't sure what to make of her expression or the recent turn in our relationship. The hostility between us had dialed down to nearly mute and it wasn't through any effort on my part; it was all her. I still had no clue what had changed, but I hadn't exactly devoted a lot of time to figuring it out.
"Uh, thanks, Rosalie," I muttered uncomfortably. "You look great too. You always do."
I returned to the task of cutting the tomato but noticed through my peripheral vision that she smiled. "Thank you as well."
She left the kitchen after that, I presumed to go find Emmett, who was in the living room with Edward and Alice, watching football. Peter, Charlotte and Jasper had stayed behind in our cabin, though I had no idea why. That mystery was solved a few minutes later when they entered the main house, Jasper having changed into slacks, a button down and nice cowboy boots—all black. He looked damn good, but I was determined not to react to him, so I resolutely kept my gaze on the cucumber I was now chopping.
"Time to set the table everyone!" Esme called in an authoritative way only moms could ... or that was my fantasy.
Still, I protested. "No, no, no. One human versus nine vampires. There is no need to eat in the dining room."
"Bella—" Esme began to argue herself.
"Don't guys spend Thanksgiving parked on their asses in front of the TV, watching football?" I questioned. Emmett and Edward had already proven that point, but there was no harm in reinforcing it. "I know you want my first Thanksgiving with you all to be special but it already is. We don't have to be all formal about it, especially since none of you are eating with me. I can eat at the coffee table or something."
"But Bella—" Esme attempted again.
"It's what I want, Esme," I insisted, walking over to her and laying my hand on her shoulder.
"Well, alright, dear," she relented with a sigh. "But we're sharing what we're thankful for at the table, at least."
I smiled at her. "Sounds good."
oOo
Esme still insisted we set the food up on the dining room table before we gathered around to give thanks.
I, unfortunately, was the last person to take a seat and was thus left in another uncomfortable situation. Carlisle, unsurprisingly, took his place at the head of the table while Esme claimed the foot. Edward was seated on Carlisle's right with Alice next to him and Emmett to his left with Rosalie by his side. Charlotte and Peter took the open spots next to her. Jasper settled to Esme's right, across from Peter, leaving the only available chair the one between him and Alice.
After the debacle of this morning when I caught him in next to nothing, I was not happy.
Carlisle, oblivious to my discomfort, went first, folding his hands on the tabletop as he began. "As is our tradition every Thanksgiving, it's time to give thanks for what we have been blessed with and for those things we are especially grateful. It goes without saying that mates, friends and family are included in those things as is how financially fortunate we are, so I would like us all to focus on other things we're grateful for. I believe that today, sharing just one or two things will do nicely," he said jubilantly, truly excited to share what he was thankful for and to hear what everyone else would say. "I am thankful for faith and trust. Almost every person at this table has always had faith that I will lead this family down the right path, even if it may not seem like it initially. You all believe I possess a wisdom I'm not sure I actually do, and because of that wisdom, you trust me with so much … your confidences and struggles, your hopes and dreams ... your lives. You have no idea how much that means to me."
His sincerity was so stark and absolute, so heartfelt, it made me ache, and I wasn't the only one affected. Everyone else was wearing an expression that conveyed how moved they were by Carlisle's sentiments, whether it was a soft smile or a somber twist of the lips.
Esme gave her husband a look of such devotion and pride that I had to avert my eyes. It felt like I was intruding on a private moment between them and it made me feel awkward. I was honored to be able to witness it at the same time. What Jasper had told me about mates was starting to make sense even if I didn't quite buy the whole thing myself.
Esme graced us all with a loving smile. "I am thankful that you all let me be a mother to you most of the time even though I'm not your real one. That means more to me than words could ever say." Venom shone in her eyes at that and more meaningful looks spread through the vampire "children" at the table. The same pride and devotion Esme had shown her mate was now mirrored on Carlisle's face. "I am also grateful that this year I've gotten to extend that special kind of love to one more," she said, her smile turning gentle as she cast a brief glance at me. "Perhaps to one who has never needed it more."
I kept my expression stoic at this because I wasn't sure how to respond. A few weeks ago, I would have flown off the handle and let her know just how much that statement pissed me off, but not anymore. Now I knew that's just how Esme was, and her affection didn't bother me so much anymore. Still, I couldn't figure out what reaction would be appropriate. I settled on a tentative smile to show her I wasn't offended, and I knew it was the right one because it seemed to please everyone.
After Esme, it was Edward's turn to share. "I am thankful for the modicum of peace the silence of another blocked mind brings," he said, looking at me and smiling.
I smiled back as I wondered who else he couldn't hear because he had said I was the only person he'd ever met that could block him naturally when he talked about his gift before. That suggested there were those who could somehow keep him out of their heads through a learned behavior and—Jasper. All of a sudden, I knew that Jasper was one Edward couldn't hear. Otherwise, I had a feeling that our Louisville exploits would have been widely known, since Edward was starting to take cues, albeit mild ones, from Emmett and get all "brother bear" on me.
Alice leaned in and kissed Edward's cheek in response to his offering before she continued the tradition. "I am thankful that I have continued to learn to be more patient and that I have been able to use it to exercise restraint when we all go shopping together. I think it's improved my relationships," she joked lightly but seriously. There were affectionate chortles and eye rolls all around the table. "I know I still have a ways to go, but I'm a work-in-progress, and I'm thankful for that too."
Emmett went next, a mischievous grin on his face. "I am thankful for pranks," he said simply and seriously.
"Emmett!" Esme scolded sharply with an uncharacteristic scowl on her face. "No matter how thankful you might be for pranks, please be serious and share something meaningful."
"Yes, Mom," Emmett said with a sigh, well and truly admonished. He dropped his eyes to his lap and swallowed loudly, but I somehow knew those actions had nothing to do with Esme. "When I was turned into a vampire and was lost to my human sister, Etta …" Emmett paused, seeming to struggle for words. "I'm a brother to Alice and Charlotte ..." pausing again—I wasn't sure if he couldn't find the right words or if he just couldn't speak. "She was my little sister. I practically raised that kid and I loved her more than anything." He was definitely choked up now. "I'm a brother to Alice and Charlotte," he repeated, "but I'm not a big brother to them, and there's a difference, you know? So I'm thankful that I get to be one of those again. There's been a hole in my heart since I had to give Etta up, but that's gone now. I feel whole in a way I haven't since I had a heartbeat."
He turned somber but content eyes to me and smiled just a little before he dropped his gaze back to his lap. My mouth dropped open and my eyes watered. I was stunned and touched but I would not cry.
Rosalie's right arm shifted slightly to her left and I assumed she'd taken his hand under the table. She also turned toward him and stroked his cheek. There was so much love in the gesture that it made my eyes prick with the tears I'd just managed to erase from them. She was really good to Emmett, and I couldn't help but like her for that, no matter what shit had gone down between us in the past.
Everyone went quiet at Emmett's admission, at the rare vulnerability he'd displayed. I wondered how many of the family had known Emmett had had a sister as a human. Whether they did or not, we were all touched by it, and I was both honored and kind of happy that I could fill that role for him. Knowing I did made it kill me even more that I was leaving soon because I knew it would be like losing Etta all over again for him. I never wanted to hurt Emmett. Someone as sweet and kind as him should never have to feel pain.
Rosalie took the initiative to go next.
"I am thankful that I have evolved enough to be able to look beyond assumptions I've made and form new opinions about people when I've been presented with the truth," she said quietly, though her voice was strong and unwavering. I wasn't sure what the hell that meant, but I probably wasn't supposed to. That didn't really matter though. Admitting that you made mistakes could be a tough thing to do, but she'd just done that openly to everyone. It made me respect her.
It was Emmett's turn to stroke her cheek, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear after he did. Then he pressed his lips to her temple in a way that was just as loving as the touch she'd bestowed upon him.
Carlisle and Esme were beaming with pride for her. Jasper looked proud as well but it was much more subtle. Charlotte was grinning at her friend, pleased with what Rosalie was thankful for, and the others were pleased too.
Charlotte decided to go after Rosalie. "I am thankful that we can put the past behind us if we choose to and that it can allow us to move on as well as open new doors, whether those doors lead to new friends or new adventures. It gives me hope and that's important."
The look Peter gave his mate at her contribution was mysterious but meaningful. I also noticed Jasper tense very slightly out of the corner of my eye, so slightly in fact that I doubted anyone else noticed besides me, Peter and Charlotte.
"I am also thankful for pranks, my fellow evil genius," Peter said to Emmett, abruptly erasing the unfathomable expression from his face and replacing it with a grin. It sobered slightly as he continued, regaining its meaningful air. "In all seriousness, I'm thankful for possibilities. Life is full of them and they are what make it interesting. They are also what make it worth it, especially when you've got eternity to while away."
It was clear to me that everyone agreed with him.
It naturally flowed to Jasper after Peter was finished. "My gift helps me to understand people by experiencing their emotions, and after two centuries, I'm pretty good at that by now. Havin' my empathy blocked by you," he said, looking at me, "has provided me with the unique opportunity to figure things out the old fashioned way. It's odd but it's helped me to see things and others differently. I'm thankful for that … sometimes."
What Jasper said could have meant so many things, and I didn't know him, nor could I read him well enough to figure out which of those things it could be. I tried to put my uncertainty over that aside and focus on the positive—that I had helped him somehow. I dipped my head down towards my lap and nodded. I didn't want to look at him because I wasn't sure what my eyes would convey, let alone what my expression even was. I didn't want him to think I disapproved of his answer if I couldn't mask my feelings better.
Expectant eyes turned to me now, I could feel them, and I had to decide what I was willing to share. After a few moments' deliberation, my mind was made up and I met everyone's eyes around the table before I spoke. "I'm thankful for kindness and compassion. It's such a rare thing, and it seems to show up in the unlikeliest of places and in the unlikeliest of people, but it has been the best kind of surprise. I'm thankful that I found people who were willing, are still willing, to extend that kindness to me. I know I'm lucky," I stated honestly and wholeheartedly. I dropped my gaze again so I wouldn't have to see how everyone reacted. I made another split-second decision, though I didn't know why. I didn't look up when I said, "I'm also thankful for sunsets."
Jasper reached over and grasped my hand under the table.
oOo
A/N: Well, there was Bella's first semi-normal Thanksgiving. I hope you enjoyed it! :)
Bella mentioned in chapter 30 part 2 that the government comes down much more harshly on murderers than it did before the attacks of 2012. It is, in part, to appease the public in the wake of the tragedy. Justice is still properly served, but it is generally expedited when the evidence is as solid as that against Rafe Jones. That is why he was tried and convicted so quickly. In the case of Derek Henry, because he is a "potential" serial killer, they must make especially sure that they have the right person. Though Bella provided ample evidence, the police must take the time to confirm it all, but his trial and conviction will still be as expedited as possible. I would have included this in the chapter, but there was no place I could fit it in and make it flow properly.
Do not dub Emmett a dumbass (literally) for "Nelson ManBella." I don't like it when people portray him as dumb, and my Emmett has his quirks, but he isn't dumb. There is a story behind that name. We have a dog named Bella, whom we've had since she was a pup. She's ten how and in all that time, my dad never calls her by her actual name except when she's in trouble. He's always coming up with random nicknames for her. Some of them might have something to do with something she's donem. Others he just pulls out of his ass. "Nelson ManBella" is one of his latest and most creative nicknames, and I couldn't resist using it. It's another little tribute to him.
This chapter might seem like filler, but it isn't. There was some important stuff in it, and the part of the point of this story is for my Bella to experience things she never has before.
