Hey, thanks again for all those fabulous reviews ! I'm so happy that all of you like it so much ! This part is pretty intense, so if you're the type of person that gets truly emotional over sad situations, then I would advise you to skip this chapter. I'm sorry to have written this so sad, but I needed to add in a big drama to really get the storyline moving. So please, review and letme know how you think of it.And now, here we go with the long awaited chapter (sorry for that wait by the way !)
Chapter 5
"Hey," Marissa said as she slipped into the booth which she met Ryan at there usual diner. "You sounded upset on the phone. What's wrong?"
"I need to know. Marissa, do you love me or not? I know you chose me over Johnny and all that, but you've just been so distant. I know that things are hard with Johnny's death and everything, but I need to know. I don't think we should move on in this relationship unless I know that you love me."
Marissa took a deep breath. She knew that was coming, even before she had gotten Ryan's call to meet her there. She knew she had to make a desicion. She set her mind off into deep thought. Wow, I can't even believe I'm thinking this. It's so mean, but I do love Johnny, and I should have picked him over Ryan. Now I know that. But Summer might be right. Johnny might really want me to stay with Ryan now. Oh God, I don't know. I just think I need a break...
"Marissa?" Ryan asked. "I need to know."
"Yes, Ryan, I do love you. But I don't know what's going on with me...I love you, but I love Johnny. Now I know that I always did. I've always loved you, too, though. I just kept denying it when he was here, and now that he's gone, I know that I loved him. But I love you, too. I'm sorry, I just think I really need some time to clear my head. If you want to go out with someone else or dump me, I completely understand. I wouldn't blame you for being upset and not waiting."
Ryan saw that one coming, too. It was obvious that Marissa was in love with Johnny. Anyone could have seen it. He still loved Marissa, but he couldn't handle the stress from the relationship anymore.
"Okay. Thanks for letting me know," Ryan said as he got up and left.
Marissa sighed and leaned back in her seat. Oh God. What did I do now? Her eyes filled with tears, but she refused to let them fall. She'd done enough crying in the past few weeks, and she was sick of it. She grabbed her purse and keys, then stormed out of the diner and into her car. She didn't want to go home. She didn't want to go to Summer's. She couldn't go to Ryan's. Or Johnny's. "Screw this, I'm getting out of here," Marissa told the empty passenger seat and took off to who knows where.
"Kaitlin, where's your sister?" Julie asked as she came back from her daily jog.
"Hmm?" She asked as she pulled her earphones from her iPod Nano out of her ears.
"Where's Marissa?" Julie asked again.
"Oh, I don't know. She went to meet Ryan, I think." Kaitlin got up and placed her iPod on the small granite counter. "What'd you buy?" she asked, examining the shopping bag that her mother had brought in.
"Well, as I was jogging I spotted a small new clothing store, and in the window I saw this," she pulled out an extremely slim tank top with loads of glitter scattered over the chest. "And I just had to buy it for you! Go try it on!"
Kaitlin examined the tiny tank. "Mom, this is tiny. What size is it?"
"Small, your usual size. It'll fit you fine, everything does. Just go try it on, already!" Julie piped.
Kaitlin sighed and went into her room to try on the top. Once it was on, she examined herself in the mirror. Oh God, look at me! I look like a cow! The tank top looked great everywhere, except for a small little lump sticking out where her stomach was. Don't even tell me that I'm starting to show! Mom doesn't know yet! It had been six weeks since Kaitlin had gotten pregnant and since Johnny's death. She was afraid to do too much activity because she didn't want to hurt the baby. Last night she had given this whole thing a lot of thought.
-Flashback-night before-
As Kaitlin lay awake in her bed, listening to the couple next door fighting, she thought about her pregnancy. Okay, so I'm not having an abortion. That's for sure. I don't like them-it's like killing a human-being! And I seriously doubt that Mom is gonna let me keep it. She'll be so ashamed, she'll probably send me away to an institution or something. I want to keep it so bad, I mean, it is the only part of Johnny left. I love Johnny so much and I don't know if I could handle giving up that last part of him that I'll ever see again...if I keep this baby, it's like holding on to a part of Johnny...
And Kaitlin made up her mind. She was keeping Johnny alive.
-End flashback-
"Kaitlin, let me see," Julie said as she barged in through the open door. "Oh my...well, it doesn't look that bad. I mean, I could just return it for a medium..."
"Mom, stop. I really appreciate the shirt, but I'm not gonna be able to wear it for a while...medium either..." her voice trailed off.
"What are you talking about? The weather's getting warmer, I mean, yeah it's chilly now but-"
"That's not what I mean," Kaitlin interupted.
"Well, what do you mean?"
Kaitlin sighed and took in a deep breath. This was it. She had to tell her mother and get it over with. She read in a pregnancy book that a lot of stress wasn't good for the baby, and that was all this was causing; stress.
"Kaitlin?"
"Mom, I'm pregnant," she blurted out. Julie had absolutely no expression on her face, whatsoever. She didn't speak, move, or even breathe for a couple of minutes. "I'm sorry." Tears fell from Kaitlin's eyes. She wasn't really sorry, at least not anymore. Now she wanted this baby. She needed it. She needed Johnny. But she knew that if she made her mother feel sorry for her, that things might go along a little smoother.
Finally, Julie made movement. She adverted her eyes to Kaitlin. "You're pregnant? You're PREGNANT?" Julie immediatly stood up and grabbed the telephone. "Oh, no you're not. You won't be for long anyway. I'm scheduling an abortion right now."
"Mom, no!" Kaitlin yelled. She was surprised at the force in her voice. "You are not. I'm not having an abortion!"
"That, my dear, is not up to you! If you're that stupid, stupid enough to go and get pregnant at fifteen, then you are no way near capable of raising an infant, Kaitlin!" Julie argued as she hung up the phone. She grabbed a phonebook out of the draw and began flipping through pages to finda doctor.
"I don't care what you think or what you say! I'm having this baby, whether you like it or not!"
"Not under my roof!" Julie screamed. Kaitlin was so nervous and so scared, and her mother was so horrified and pissed off, Kaitlin could have sworn there was smoke rising from the heat of Julie's face. "You are not having a baby, Kaitlin! Do you know how that will make me look in the eyes of this town? Do you? Do you even care that your mother has gained a reputation from the actions of you and your sister? NO! YOU DON'T! AND I AM NOT GOING TO HAVE THIS SHIT ANY LONGER!" Julie was definitley steaming. She raised her hand and smacked Kaitlin stiff-hard across the face. The force was so great, it caused Kaitlin to stumble backwards and fall over. Her eyes bled with tears. Her face stung and was turning a mad shade of red. She felt so completely and utterly listless, that she couldn't even cause herself to get up. All she could do was sit there and cry, completely dumbfounded and shocked. Her mother had never hit either her or Marissa before. "Get out!" Julie screamed. "Get out! I don't want you here. I don't want you anywhere near me until you come to your senses and give that fucking baby up!" But still, Kaitlin had no will to move. She couldn't. Her body was in full shock mode. Sure, she expected Julie to be pissed, but never had she imagined her that mad. Ever. "Get the fuck OUT, Kaitlin! Get out! Now!" she screamed again as she grabbed Kaitlin's wrist with a mighty force and locked it in a vice grip. Then she said, in her sternest voice, "I swear, Kaitlin. If you go to anyone that matters in this town about this, you would be better off dead than ever come back here." She swung open the front door, and shoved her youngest daughter out onto the cold steps, slamming the door shut behind her. And Kaitlin, still in shock mode, stumbled over again, this time completely missing the rail, and tumbled down the small flight of steps.
She sat there, still and weeping, as her frail frame collapsed over on the walk. She was crying so hard, she could barely breath. She was helpless. Pains travelled back and forth between her arms and her legs, her wrist throbbed, but the worst pain of all was in her stomach...
Thanks for reading! More will be out soon, guaranteed. Sorry again for not updating so soon! Now, go review this chapter!
