The next day, Brittany sat anxiously on the couch in the recording room Santana always used, trying and failing not to panic. She had seen a few pictures of Dani, but those were almost a decade old. She didn't know if Dani would be more or less attractive, or if she was even more fun than she had been before. Brittany knew she was fun because Quinn had told her everything she thought about Dani when she had gone to New York. Fun was one of the words she'd used to describe her. She knew Dani was one of those cool, laid back, go with the flow type of people, who exuded confidence, according to Quinn, but she didn't really know what that meant. Would she be bitchy? Would she be mad at Brittany for getting Santana to break up with her? Or be happy for them that they stayed together after all these years?

Brittany hated not knowing what to expect. She had fussed over her outfit well before Santana even woke up, wondering if she should dress up to show off how hot she is, or whether to be casual, showing how confident and secure in her relationship she is. She decided against anything with an animal on it, because she could just imagine Dani sneering at her with a condescending, 'cute'. Instead she went simple but elegant. She wore a tight strapless black dress and a red leather jacket that actually belonged to Santana. She pulled up the sleeves of the jacket, showing off her charm bracelet that matched Santana's, which she happened to wear on the same hand as her wedding ring. She figured that was the perfect balance of marking her territory, showing off how good she looked, and looking like she dressed like that all the time. Santana commented twice how good she looked, and Eve had called 'looking good Britt' as she passed her desk.

"You ready babe?" Santana asked, sitting next to Brittany on the couch. Unlike Brittany, Santana had not put any effort into her outfit at all. She was wearing an old grey Fleetwood Mac t-shirt with a blue jean skirt and black converse. She didn't look bad at all, but she looked very casual. Brittany liked that. It meant Santana didn't care what Dani thought of her at all.

"Yeah…is she almost here?"

"Yeah. Just relax okay? It really doesn't matter why she's here, or how she acts right?"

Brittany nodded, taking Santana's hand and kissing the back of it.

"I love you B" Santana smiled at her. Brittany smiled back, but was cut off from answering as someone walked into the room. She had short black hair that was in a pixie cut. Brittany couldn't help but notice that she was a lot hotter than the pictures she had seen. The black hair suited her better than the blonde she used to have, and the cut gave her an edgy cool-girl vibe that completely threw Brittany off. Dani smiled as she entered, her manager right behind her. She shook hands with Jade, Eddie and Lucas, and then stopped in front of the couch Brittany and Santana were sitting on. Santana stood up, pulling Brittany with her, since they were still holding hands.

"Santana Lopez" Dani said, and Brittany had to supress an eye roll. Of course she had a smokey, raspy voice. Could she be any more opposite to Brittany if she tried? Santana smiled and opened her arms.

"Danielle Ruiz" Santana replied with a smirk, which Dani returned. They looked at each other for a few seconds, and then Dani pulled Santana into a hug. Brittany loosened her grip on Santana's hand so that she could hug Dani properly, but Santana held on tighter, refusing to let go. Brittany smiled. Just as she was beginning to wonder if she should be worried about the length of the hug, Santana cleared her throat and pulled back. Brittany noticed that Dani seemed displeased by this, but the look was soon replaced by her smile. She turned to Brittany.

"So this is the famous Brittany?" she asked Santana, looking Brittany up and down. Brittany swallowed and nodded.

"That's me" she said, forcing her voice to be calm. "It's nice to meet you Dani." She extended her hand. Usually she was a hugger, but hugging your wife's totally hot and talented ex…she'd rather not. Dani smiled and shook her hand.

"I see what all the fuss was about" she winked at Brittany, and turned to Santana, pulling her into another shorter hug. "I actually missed you bitch. Life was just too dull without snixx, so I have returned."

"Well" Santana said, casting a quick glance to Brittany. "Here I am. What exactly did you want from me? Collab or sound engineer?"

Dani pursed her lips in thought. "Can't I get both?" she asked with a cheeky smile.

"Depends on how many hours you're going to be expecting from me." Santana said with another smirk, this time looking more meaningfully at Brittany, so that Dani gets the point. "Me and the wife here have a schedule that works….I'm not gonna upset that by taking on a crazy work load."

"Even for a sexy client?" Dani smiled innocently. Brittany cocked her head and Santana raised an eyebrow.

"When one shows up I'll let you know" Santana answered easily. Dani gasped in mock offence and slapped Santana's arm.

"I thought age would have made you nicer. Guess some things never change"

Brittany wasn't sure what to make of this woman. She reminded her of Elaine, with all her flirting, but she wasn't sure if it was innocent or not. What she was sure of though, was that Santana was very relaxed. She wasn't defensive, or aggressive, which told Brittany that she was waiting, giving Dani a chance. So Brittany would too.

"So how many hours would you be needing a day if we did both?" Santana asked. Dani waved her hand dismissively.

"We can talk over that in the meeting sometime this week" she said. "I didn't just move all this way to work. I wanted to catch up, meet your wifey and kids. I actually have missed you Lopez."

Santana sighed, though it wasn't really exasperated.

"Do you want to go to lunch?" Brittany asked. Santana turned to her quickly in shock. Dani grinned.

"Totally Brittany. Are you guys free today?"

"Yeah" Brittany said, smiling as well. "I took the day off."

"Excellent" Dani said. "Well, I'll go meet some of the other people I'll be working with, and then you guys can tell me when and where you want to go." She smiled at a still shocked Santana, and left the room. Santana turned and frowned at Brittany.

"We're having lunch with her?" she asked incredulously.

Brittany shrugged.

"I don't think that's a good idea B"

"Why?"

"I don't know. Hanging out with the ex always has some unforeseen consequences. I don't want us to start fighting about something I said all those years ago, or for you to feel bad being reminded about that year we spent apart."

"I'm not going to feel bad Santana. Besides, it wasn't even a year, and it's not like I didn't tell you to go to New York and get a girlfriend. Plus…it totally doesn't matter. If she tries to make me feel jealous about the time you spent with her, I have 13 years on her. All of which we've spent as best friends, 5 dating, and 4 married. 3 of those 4 spent with kids. I can play whatever game she wants to try play, so don't worry."

Santana smiled. "You're so sexy when you're being all cunning."


Santana had never felt so awkward in her entire life. As she walked into the restaurant, Brittany right behind her, Dani in front, she wished more than anything that she could be anywhere else. Never in a hundred years had she imagined that Brittany would meet her ex, let alone that they would be having lunch together. Even as they sat down, and Dani told them idly about her life, Santana couldn't shake the feeling that this was not going to lead to anything good for her.

"So yeah….worked at the Spotlight Diner for another two years, started playing gigs here and there, made some cover videos on Youtube, and then decided to move to LA. Two years ago I finally got recruited, they helped me put out an album, which didn't do all that well, but we kept working at it, still playing gigs, and then finally a couple of months ago your label said they were interested in signing me. I did some research and found out that you were signed here as well, and working as a sound engineer, so I knew they had to be good. And yeah…here I am."

"Wow…well congrats" Santana said, unsure of what else she was really supposed to say to the girl she broke up with on Facetime, so she could run away with her high school sweetheart.

"Thanks" Dani said with a sweet smile, taking a sip of her wine. "So what about you? Last I knew, you were going for the end of your high school glee club, never to return." She turned her eyes to Brittany, who shifted uncomfortably.

"Oh yeah…uh" Santana cleared her throat uncomfortably. "We went back to New York actually."

"We?" Dani asked, leaning back in her chair, eyes still on Brittany.

"Yup" Brittany said cheerfully. "I moved to New York with her, got a job as a kids dance instructor for a while when I was in school, but then I got referred to this other studio, started off as an assistant and made my way up to choreographer two years later." She smiled at Santana, who nodded proudly.

"Oh you're a dancer?" Dani asked. Brittany frowned slightly at her.

"You didn't know?"

"I don't know much about you other than you're blonde and Santana's ex. Sh-"

"Wife" Brittany cut in.

"Sorry?" Dani asked confused.

"You're Santana's ex, I'm her wife."

Dani shook her head and chuckled. "Yeah…obviously…sorry. I meant at the time, I didn't know anything about you other than you were her ex. Santana didn't talk about you…like ever, and Kurt and Rachel always told me not to ask."

There was a short awkward silence that no one seemed to know how to fill. Finally Dani cleared her throat.

"Uhh…so I've been waiting 9 years to hear what happened at that glee reunion. I never really got an explanation."

"Why do you wanna talk about that now?" Santana asked, lowering her glass of wine. "It's an uncomfortable topic that happened a long time ago. Why should we bring it all up again?"

"I think if we're going to be working countless hours together, I deserve some answers. Don't you Brittany?"

Brittany eyed Dani, trying to see any hint of malice in her eyes, but she saw none. She sighed and turned to Santana.

"Damn it B" Santana said as she sighed as well. "Why are you always forcing me to apologize to exes?" she asked in Spanish. Brittany smiled.

"Because it's the right thing to do. She got caught up in our drama just like Artie. We hurt her." Brittany replied in Spanish as well, rubbing Santana's thigh under the table.

"You speak Spanish Brittany?" Dani asked, seeming amused.

"Yup" Brittany replied with a smile.

"Does your family-"

"I learned it for Santana" she cut in. Dani looked taken back by this information. Before she could reply, Santana spoke.

"Okay…if we're going to get into this Elle…." Santana broke of suddenly, as Dani's smile returned. "Uh…Dani…" she amended awkwardly. "Then I just want to know why you came here. Are you trying to cause some drama for my family? Trying to get me back for how things ended or something?"

Dani rolled her eyes. "Tana when have I ever been involved in drama?" Brittany stiffened at the nickname. It sounded strange, since she had never heard anyone call Santana that, but it also seemed kind of fitting. She could see the New York Santana going by Tana.

"Don't call me that" Santana said quickly, glancing at Brittany. Dani glanced at Brittany as well.

"You called me Elle"

"I corrected myself"

"Okay" Brittany said. "You both need to relax. Let's just use this lunch to get everything off our chest so that we can all have a somewhat friendly relationship going forward. I'll go first. Dani, I kissed Santana when we were at the glee reunion. I kissed her, she told me it wasn't a good idea, I told her I wanted her back, and asked her to run away with me."

Dani sat back in her chair and crossed her arms.

"I'm sorry that you got hurt, but I'm not sorry that I told Santana how I felt."

Again there was silence. Dani was watching Brittany as if she was trying to catch her in a lie.

"So you didn't cheat on me?" She asked Santana.

"No. Brittany told me how she felt, and I…" She stopped herself from saying 'broke up with you', "we ended things that night."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did it take you until that night to call me?"

Santana immediately took Brittany's hand in hers, knowing this wasn't going to be fun to hear. It definitely wasn't going to be fun to say. She thought about lying, but she realised that would mean lying to Brittany too, which was something she never did.

"I hadn't made up my mind yet about what I was going to do."

Silence for the third time. Brittany was looking off to the side so Santana couldn't see her face, but based on the fact that she hadn't tried to take back her hand, she figured she wasn't mad or hurt.

"Anyway," Santana continued, "we got back together the next day, which I hadn't been planning on doing, and left immediately after graduation to go to Lesbos, and uh…" she bit her lip. "Hawaii, and then moved back to New York."

Dani still didn't say anything. Santana began feeling uncomfortable.

"For what it's worth, I am sorry about how things ended. I know I didn't give you a real explanation, and you deserved one. Where Brittany is concerned I've always handled things pretty badly with the other people involved."

"I was actually pissed at you both for a long time. I thought you guys had been planning it somehow. Like you had been trying to figure out a way to break up with me and decided that it would be easier to do when you were in Lima. I literally never saw you again, and Kurt told me you got back together and he had no idea where you'd disappeared to. It was just all so sudden."

"It was sudden for all of us" Brittany said. "I didn't plan on getting back together with her. I was just coming back to say goodbye to glee. But then she was just being so…" Brittany sighed. "I wasn't in a good place at all….I wasn't myself, and nobody cared, except Santana. She forced me to stop accepting the horrible life I was being forced into…and I just couldn't let her go back to New York without me. I wasn't functioning without her." She said all this while still looking off to the side.

Dani and Santana looked at her for a while, Santana rubbing her hand soothingly.

"Well…like I said" Dani said, "I was mad. I kept wondering how Santana could throw away the awesome thing we had. But then she blew up and got famous, and I knew it was supposed to happen that way. I wasn't holding her back, but I wasn't pushing her. We were happily living the struggling artist life, and being awesome at it, and we were having fun and being young, always saying how we had time to do what we needed to. When you both got famous I stopped being bitter about it. Santana was always meant to take over the world, and I wish more than anything that I had pushed her to do it, cause then maybe I would have been better for her than you. So I decided I was gonna work my ass off and become good enough for her, and then I'd try get her back…" she trailed off, looking down at the table. Brittany's head snapped to her and Santana stiffened. "But nothing ever worked. I did everything right, but I just couldn't make it. Then, you adopted those adorable boys of yours, and I tortured myself watching all your cute family videos on instagram, and watching all the interviews where you both talk about how amazing it is to be mothers and to be raising a family with the love of your life….finally, I accepted that it wasn't supposed to be me. That nothing I did was going to change the fact that you guys were going to be Brittany and Santana forever. So…I let you go. And wouldn't you know, as soon as I did that, I got recruited."

Santana turned to Brittany with wide eyes. Brittany looked relieved.

"So you're not here to…" Brittany didn't know how to finish that sentence.

"To ruin your marriage?" Dani laughed. "No. Like I said before, I'm not into drama. I just want to make awesome music and maybe make some friends in this city. Santana and I did used to have a lot of fun together, and from what I've seen online of you Brittany, you seem pretty fun as well. So…" she raised her glass, "what do you guys say to forgetting the past and starting fresh."

Brittany smiled at Santana, lifting her hand and kissing it. Then she took her glass from the table and clinked it with Dani's. "I'd like that a lot" she said sincerely.

Santana let out a breath, smiling as she clinked her glass with Dani's as well. She should have known not to doubt Brittany.


Brittany stood outside the choir room, trying to collect her thoughts. It had only been a few months, nearly four to be exact, since she'd been in there, yet it felt like she'd never even set foot in it. She felt like a completely different person, like her life had been on one track and MIT had come and bulldozed right thought it. The Brittany that had sat in that choir room and sang and danced like the rest of the world didn't matter didn't exist anymore.

In fact Brittany had almost not come back. She'd gotten the call from Sam and had seriously considered not going. For one it was so hard leaving the first time. Saying goodbye to all her friends, all the glee kids and Sam had been hard. Giving Sue her Cheerios uniform back for good this time and knowing that the last time she would see everyone would be at regionals had been painful. But saying goodbye to Santana….that had been harder than when Santana had left for college. It hard hurt more than their break up. That had felt final. Her going to MIT had never been a part of the plan, and she didn't know what it meant for them moving forward. So when Sam had called, disappointed but excited to get the chance to see her, Brittany had seriously considered not going back. She couldn't imagine having to do all those goodbyes again.

Yet, here she was.

It had been kind of a last minute decision, when two days before she'd realised that this was the real last time everyone was going to be seeing each other. After that there was no reason for people to show up at the school sporadically and without explanation, there would be no plays or competitions to bring them together. This was it forever. The end of the glee club.

So she'd hoped on a plane, promising her colleagues she'd be back in a week. And she intended to keep that promise. She'd come up with a solid plan, a 'make it back to MIT' plan, which was going to help make sure that Brittany, who often got side-tracked or swept up in the moment, would not ruin the amazing opportunity she'd gotten. Which was why she was standing outside the choir room door, trying to compose herself.

She'd turned the corner just as Santana and Kurt were walking in, and she'd nearly walked into the lockers. Santana looked amazing. She hadn't noticed Brittany standing there as she complained loudly about something to Kurt, who looked irritated but also like he'd heard whatever she was saying before. Kurt looked good too. Brittany had always liked how Kurt dressed, even when he wore weird sweaters and hats that made him look like Peter Pan. It was different from any other boy she'd ever seen, even Blaine, and she liked that. But now he looked…classy. Unique but classy. Like a grown up.

Santana looked amazing.

When the pair had gone in, Brittany walked up to the door and peeped in. She thought the speech she'd given herself at home that morning as she got ready, and then again in the car before she walked into school had prepared her for seeing Santana. Apparently not. So now she wasn't sure what to do or what to tell herself to be able to walk in.

"Brittany!"

Brittany spun round to see Mike coming down the hall grinning madly. She smiled.

"Hey" They hugged. "It's so good to see you"

"Yeah, you too. Sam told me you weren't coming."

Brittany shrugged. "I had to."

"Yeah"

Mike looked over her shoulder as the choir room door opened. His smile changed, though Brittany couldn't really tell how. She turned to see who was at the door, expecting to see Tina.

"Santana" she breathed unintentionally. The blood rushed to her cheeks and ears in embarrassment of how airy it had sounded. She couldn't help it though. Santana looked Amazing.

"Britt" Santana grinned just like Mike had and stepped completely out into the hallway. "I thought I heard someone shout your name."

Brittany turned to Mike. He smiled.

"Guilty." Then he squeezed Brittany's shoulder. "It's really, really good to see you Brittany. I'll see you in there?"

Brittany nodded, and Mike left. Santana watched him until he'd shut the choir room door again, only turning back to Brittany when the door clicked. Brittany smiled, shaking her head.

"What?" Santana asked curiously. She took a few steps closer to Brittany.

"Nothing" Brittany said still smiling. "You look …great."

Santana actually blushed. Her head dropped to look at the floor, and Brittany took the opportunity to breathe.

"So" Santana looked up again. "MIT isn't going to miss their new genius?"

Brittany giggled, blushing for the second time. A voice in the back of her head told her that was exactly what Santana wanted, getting her back for making her blush a second ago. She shrugged.

"I'm not the only genius there. They'll be fine."

"I bet it all falls apart without you."

"Stop" Brittany breathed, trying to take another breath. This was what she'd been trying to avoid. This feeling Santana gave her of safety and….something else. She couldn't get used to this for the week and then go back to being alone in MIT with weird people who spoke about things she either didn't understand or didn't care about. Where she didn't know anyone and spent most of her time in her dorm room watching movies or skyping Ashley. She couldn't get sucked in by Santana just to be sucked away again.

She could see the weird look Santana was giving her, but thankfully she didn't say anything. Instead she pulled Brittany in for a hug. Brittany had forgotten how great Santana's hugs were. As she settled into it she remembered how tactile they were together, dating or not. The weird floating feeling sweeping her insides at the moment was way too familiar and slightly worrying, so she made a mental note to keep physical contact to a minimum.

"I'm really glad you're here." Santana said, pulling away from the hug. Brittany nodded.

"Me too."

So she hadn't adequately prepared herself for this trip, that much was clear from the few minutes she'd been in Santana's general proximity. Now though, that she'd seen, talked to and touched Santana, touching was definitely the most dangerous, she was prepared. She could adjust her plan slightly, like adding the note about physical contact and highlighting it…maybe she'd write it down in red ink and underline it for good measure. The hardest part was over, and all she had to do was stick to her plan.


As soon as she could Brittany found herself an empty classroom to do some math in. After performing with the whole glee club, old and new members including April Rhodes, but most importantly with Santana, Brittany needed to regroup. She hadn't let go and had fun like that in a long time, and it made her realise how boring her life really was at MIT. Made her almost question why she was there at all. So before she self-sabotaged or something, she needed to remind herself what it was she was doing at MIT.

It was kind of empowering being back in the place she'd been called stupid so many times and solving math equations she didn't think even her teachers could, but that feeling paled in comparison to the feeling she'd had twirling around in the choir room, singing her heart out.

So when Santana suggested they do a number with Quinn, Brittany couldn't refuse. Even when she knew that it would feel infinitely better than a group number and make it harder for her to stick to her plan.

And she was right. Dancing with Santana and Quinn felt amazing. Singing together again and feeling the way she had in high school, like because of them she had a place she would always belong felt freeing. But it also felt awful. It had only been four months since she'd danced, and yet she was unfit. She was tired and out of breath and worst of all, at one point she'd been just a fraction off count.

That more than anything, more than telling herself Santana had a girlfriend now or calculating how far Massachusetts was from New York and realising it was as far as Louisville, had cemented Brittany's belief that this life was behind her now. She wasn't meant to be dancing or singing, she was meant to be doing math. She wasn't meant to be with Santana, as sad as that was. She was meant to be in MIT.

So for two days, she stuck to the plan. She didn't go out for lunch or dinner with the others, she didn't go over to Santana's at the end of the day even though she invited her both days, and she didn't perform again. She just couldn't do it. The only thing worse than doing any of those things and loving it, was doing them and feeling like something was off. Feeling out of place. She'd rather have perfect memories of them.

Then Santana went and ruined everything.

Now Brittany was sitting at home, staring at her suitcase and wondering what the hell she was supposed to do. Santana had shown her that she still had it. She could still dance, keep time and breath and enjoy it. And she'd shown her that they still had it, that spark that had always burned between them.

So what the hell was Brittany supposed to do now?

In two days she was supposed to be on a plane back to Massachusetts, so that morning she'd taken out her suitcase to repack all her stuff. Usually she wouldn't have bothered packing so early, but she'd come with a lot of stuff and her mum was worried she'd end up staying up all night before her flight trying to pack. Brittany had promised her that she'd start that evening, and taken her suitcase out to make sure she didn't forget. But then she'd come home, refusing to go out to Breadsticks with Santana, Mike, Artie and Puck, seen the suitcase on her bed and stalled.

MIT and being a genius was great. It proved that everything everyone had been telling her all her life had been wrong. She was smart. She was more than a dumb blonde, more than her body, and more than the popular teenager who peaked in high school. Being at MIT was validating in a way she hadn't known she'd needed.

What was crazy was that being recruited by one of the best universities in the world and getting to work with the smartest people in the country was not as validating as being with Santana. As knowing Santana chose her. She didn't feel as good about herself as when she danced or sang or talked to Santana. Being told by people with PhDs that she was a genius didn't sound as true as hearing it from Santana.

So as she stared at her suitcase, Brittany wondered why she was leaving Santana to go back to what was clearly less fulfilling.

Because Santana had a girlfriend.

She'd told Santana to go to New York and get a girlfriend, and she had. Brittany had seen some of their pictures together on facebook, though she tried her best to avoid them, and they looked happy together. Quinn thought they were good together. She'd told Brittany that Dani was really mature, so Santana had been forced to grow up too. No more giving in to childish insecurities and lashing out at the world as Quinn had put it.

Brittany wondered why if that was true, Santana and Rachel were locked in a battle of the wills that frankly didn't make any sense.

In any case, whether Brittany doubted that Dani had 'changed' Santana for the better or not, she was still her girlfriend. She had told Santana to go to New York and get a girlfriend, and she had, so Brittany couldn't change her mind. Especially since there still wasn't a solution to the problem of the distance between them that had driven them apart in the first place. Neither of them were in a place where they could handle long distance in a relationship yet, so why would she pursue Santana just for them to end up right back here.

Sighing heavily, Brittany walked to her closet, picked a handful of shirts and dropped them in the suitcase.

She may not like it, but she'd had a plan for a reason. The best thing for both of them was for her to go back to MIT.


So kissing Santana was so not a part of the plan, but come on!

What the hell was Brittany supposed to do?

First she had to endure dancing with a scantily clad Santana in romantic lighting, listening to her singing toxic in that husky, sexy tone and rolling her body right in her face. Then she had to put up with Santana being Santana, caring about her and fixing her and making her feel like the most important person on earth. Now she was sitting there after their first real talk since she'd left for MIT, listening to what was honestly the most mind blowingly meaningful speech she had ever received in her life, and she was expected to do nothing? What did Santana want from her?

Brittany just couldn't help it. She couldn't control it as she leaned forward, and by the time she realised what she was doing, she didn't want to stop. All week she'd been feeling like she shouldn't be doing things. Shouldn't be dancing, shouldn't be looking at Santana's ass, shouldn't even be in Lima, but at that second, just as her lips closed over Santana's, she didn't feel wrong. All she felt was goosebumps all down her back and tingling in her stomach. She felt alive.

When she got home that day, she opened her suitcase and pulled out a different outfit. She was going out tonight with Quinn, Puck, Sam and Tina. Whatever happened with Santana, she knew she would never regret that kiss. Santana had opened her eyes to what really mattered in life, and that was being happy. Brittany wasn't going to force herself to do things that didn't make her happy, as responsible, sensible or grown up as they might be. MIT was great, but it didn't make her happy, and she was sure Dani was great, but she was also sure no one could make Santana happier than her. So she wasn't going back to MIT, and she wouldn't regret kissing Santana, whatever happened. The plan was officially out the window.


Santana had been sitting on the edge of her bed, staring down at her phone for the better part of an hour, and was no closer to sorting out her thoughts than when she'd gotten home.

Brittany had kissed her.

Brittany had kissed her and it had felt amazing. Her body had reacted immediately, a jolt of excitement striking her stomach and raising goosebumps all up her arms and neck. There had been the momentary feeling of finally, like she'd been waiting since arriving in Lima for that kiss to happen. That's why she'd stopped it, and honestly she was really proud of herself for that. She and Brittany weren't historically good at keeping their hands, or lips, off of each other, in a relationship with other people or not. It would have been easy, too easy, for her to lose herself in the kiss because it felt right and a little bit like coming home, and deal with the consequences later. As easy as breathing, that's how kissing Brittany felt.

So she'd stopped. Because as easy as it was, leaving would not be, and that's what they were both doing in a few days. Leaving each other yet again. And as an added thought, Santana realised guiltily, she had a girlfriend. Not that she'd forgotten, Brittany had brought her up after all, but she was ashamed that Dani hadn't been the first reason she'd thought of for not giving herself over to Brittany. She'd worked too hard to get over Brittany and she was finally in a place where, at least for the three previous days, she was able to be in the same vicinity and not want to rip her clothes off. Where her heart didn't ache at the fact that they weren't together, and her mind didn't go to dark places about smothering Sam or burning down MIT. Maybe it was because she'd forgotten just how good being with Brittany was. Now that she'd felt her lips against her again, felt her tongue…

Santana groaned. It was already happening. She was already being sucked back into everything Brittany and now she couldn't help think of Dani. Now Dani was the first thing on her mind as she tried to fight off the image of Brittany leaning in to her, the leap in her chest when she realised a split second before it happened what Brittany was about to do, and then the nearly unbearable urge to pull her closer, onto her lap and deepen the kiss. She shook her head and blinked at her phone, which she was still staring at.

Deciding what to do was proving impossible, which Santana had to admit was a result of her maturity. In high school it would have been a no brainer. In Louisville it would have been even easier. She would have chosen Brittany all the way, any time, over anyone. And of course, right now she was not choosing Dani over Brittany, it was just that Brittany wasn't really a choice. She hadn't been since she started dating Sam, they'd both just been in denial about it, not wanting to let go of each other. They were more grown up now. After Mr Schue's attempt at a wedding in February, she and Brittany had been shaken awake from the weird haze they were living in, and grown up. They couldn't be together now. As much as they wanted it, it wasn't their time, and for the past few months they'd been doing pretty well at accepting that. They were almost best friends again. They talked multiple times a week, texted occasionally, and Santana was genuinely happy with Dani. Not comparing everything they did together with how much better it would be if she was with Brittany. Not picturing Brittany all over New York and how amazing their lives would be. Dani was new and different. She pushed Santana out of her comfort zones and forced her to grow up. To mature. No more petty bullshit because Dani just didn't put up with it. She had to say what she was feeling or what she wanted, because Dani didn't beg or coddle her. It was definitely a place she'd never been in before, and she was kind of enjoying it. It made her feel like a grownup who actually knew what she wanted and went after it.

But now Brittany had kissed her.

So what was she supposed to do? Should she go back to New York and just pretend nothing had happened? Keep texting Brittany and calling her during her breaks at work. Could she even do that? Would she feel like she was cheating?

Santana had never cheated on anyone, mostly because other than Brittany she'd never been in a relationship serious enough for cheating to even be a thing that could happen, but she knew how she'd feel if Dani cheated on her. Dani was serious. Not extremely serious, like thinking about moving in together or talking about the future serious, but serious in that Santana respected her and cared about her feelings. She liked being with Dani. They had fun together, and tried new things, and were just starting to get into that part of the relationship where it's still cute and new but you've also been together long enough to get into a routine and form habits. Like how Santana would sometimes drop by the bar when Dani was working and she wasn't to bring her coffee or flowers or to just hang out and keep her company for a few hours on the slow nights. Or how Dani would walk Santana home from her dance classes most days with a cup of coffee, just so Santana could vent or gossip about whatever happened in class. Could Santana keep doing those things knowing that she'd kissed Brittany?

She didn't linger on that thought for too long. The truth was, she couldn't even talk to Dani when she was in the same town as Brittany. She hadn't talked to Dani all week, dodging her calls by saying she was busy and then calling back when she knew Dani was at work. At first she really had just been caught up in seeing everyone again after so long, catching up and going out and then actually being at school and in the glee club again. But then she'd realised that something was wrong with Brittany and Dani had taken a backseat. All the very real feelings that she had for Dani somehow seemed trivial in comparison. Not even worth worrying about. She'd told herself that she'd call Dani once she was sure Brittany was okay again, but that thought had made her feel guilty. Dani was supposed to be her priority, not an afterthought. It had taken one day for Brittany to completely overtake Santana's thoughts, so much so that she didn't even care how her girlfriend was doing. She didn't even feel bad for ignoring all her calls and lying about being busy because the only person she had room to care about at the time was Brittany.

So no, Santana couldn't go back to dating Dani.

The kiss had been something of an eye opener for her, and there was no going back. Dani was nice, like really nice, and she was chill. She liked the same music as Santana did and had a deep sometimes raspy voice especially when she was drunk, that Santana found really sexy. She was an actual cool person, the kind that was popular because everyone wanted to be their friend, and Santana took it as a huge compliment that she chose to date her. It made her feel cool by association. Spending months holed up with Barbara and Lady had kind of made her forget that she used to be like that. Not nice like Dani, but confident at least. A confidence that drew people to her. Dani had given that back to her.

Dani was really good for her, Santana knew, which was why she couldn't keep dating her.

Kissing Brittany had been easy. Too easy considering the amazing girlfriend she had back in New York, and if it was so easy after not seeing each other for three months, not even thinking about Brittany sexually for three months, then Santana wasn't as over Brittany as she'd previously thought, which was a problem.

She'd had enough casual dating to last her a lifetime. Yes, she'd only dated boys casually, but she wanted to keep it that way. She didn't want to go through girls the way she did boys. As hard as she'd worked to give off the impression that she was a player, she really wasn't. With how hard it had been to hook up with anyone after breaking up with Brittany, she'd realised that she actually only ever wanted to get involved with someone as long as it meant something, ironically, which was why she'd been so upset with herself after sleeping with Quinn, and why it took letting go of the hope that she and Brittany were going to get back together for her to open herself up enough to like Dani.

And Dani was just nice enough that they could date for a while. Maybe years. By which time, even chill Dani would start expecting more from Santana. Moving in together, meeting the family, all those big things. Santana would have to start opening up about her past, start explaining her relationship with her parents, and maybe she wouldn't have minded.

But Brittany had kissed her. Brittany hadn't just kissed her, she'd said she missed her. That she loved her. That she wanted to be with her.

There was no going back to Dani after that. No pretending that she didn't feel the same way about Brittany. Santana wanted Brittany more than anything. If Brittany was still in Lima, she would once again be willing to come back, wait for her to graduate and move to New York together.

But Brittany was in Massachusetts.

So she was going to have to break up with Dani, but not to get back together with Brittany, because Brittany wasn't an option. She didn't think they'd matured so much that she could handle long distance again. That had been brutal and painful for both of them, and putting themselves through that would just do more damage to their already hurting relationship. She could move to Massachusetts, but what would she do there? And for how long? When the issue was Brittany being held back, they knew it was for one year. There was a hard date- graduation. But how long was Brittany going to be at MIT? 4 years? Would she stay on to work there? Would she want to move there permanently and start her life there? Santana didn't want to live in Massachusetts. She liked New York. No she loved New York. She wasn't doing much there, but she was doing something. Making her own choices and figuring life out. So she couldn't move to Massachusetts indefinitely, and she wasn't going to let Brittany leave MIT for her. For her sanity or her happiness maybe, but not for her. She wasn't worth that.

Taking a deep breath, Santana unlocked her phone and called Dani. She needed to get this over with so she could wallow in how unfair the universe was to her and Brittany without the guilt of Dani weighing on her as well.

"Well, well, well" Dani's voice came through the phone. Santana smiled. "Does your middle-of-nowhere town in Ohio not have cell service?"

"What?"

"Just, you three arrive there and then suddenly radio silence."

"You haven't heard from Kurt or Rachel either?"

"Nope. Rachel I was kind of expecting, cause let's face it, she hasn't really been talking to me since the whole Funny girl fiasco. I guess I'm on team Santana by default?"

Santana rolled her eyes.

"God, I'm so going to end her by the way."

"Yeah so you keep saying. And I'll be keeping out of it."

Santana rolled her eyes again in annoyance, then took a breath and refocused on why she'd called.

"Can we uh…do you think we could do a video call?"

"Sure."

Not a minute later she was looking at Dani's face. Dani Looked tired but she was smiling.

"I'm glad I finally get to talk to you. I got a solo yesterday."

"Oh" Santana smiled genuinely. "B-Elle that so awesome. What did you sing?"

"Unconditional, Katy Perry."

"One of her few really good songs" Santana nodded. "How did it go?"

"Really well. Gunther asked me why I've been pretending I can't sing all this time."

"Classic Gunther" Santana laughed.

"Yeah." Dani chuckled. "I also got a haul in tips."

"Nice"

"Maybe if you hurry back I won't have spent it all and we can go to Celeste."

"What? Really?" Santana grinned. "Oh my god Kurt would piss himself with jealousy."

Dani laughed. "So does that mean I'll be seeing you sooner than expected?"

Santana's heart dropped. This is was what she meant by Dani being too nice. She could actually lose herself in her, and that was bad, because as this week had proven, all it would take is Brittany showing up in New York, a year, two years, five down the line, to blow up whatever life she'd built with Dani. Better to cut the cord now.

She let her smile fade slowly, not wanting to alarm Dani too much.

"Um…we need to talk."

"Aren't we already?"

"No I mean…" Santana bit her bottom lip. "About why we haven't talked much since I got here."

"Okay" Dani nodded. Santana was at least glad that Dani looked apprehensive, like she knew something was coming. Being blindsided sucked. She learned that after Tina told her about Brittany and Sam so abruptly and without warning, using a ship name that would not pass Santana's lips as long as she lived. She'd never do that to anyone.

"So…you know that my ex was in the same high school as me…"

"Yeah. Did something happen with her?" Dani asked immediately.

"No" Santana said, hoping Dani believed her. "No, nothing happened with her."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. She just…I guess I didn't realise how…how caught up in her I would be."

Dani frowned. "I don't understand what you're saying. Can you stop talking in circles like I'm supposed to know what you're implying?"

"Brittany was my best friend for four years." Santana said, trying not to get angry at Dani's tone and reminding herself that this was a break up. "I'm just saying that I didn't realise how quickly we'd fall back into that. I know." Santana held her hand up as Dani went to speak. "I know that you don't know what that means. I can't really explain it. Just…think about the closest friend you've ever had and then times that by three and you'll have me and Brittany."

"Okay….so…what? You've been ignoring me so you guys can have sleepovers and paint each other's nails?"

"I actually haven't really hung out with her that much."

"Santana you're not making sense" Dani said in an impatient tone. The phone shook, taking Dani out of focus. Santana imagined she'd thrown her hands in her irritation. "If you haven't been hanging out with her, and nothing happened between the two of you then what does she have to do with why you haven't been answering my calls?"

"It's…ugghh" Santana sighed. It was frustrating how difficult it was to explain her relationship with Brittany without making it sound like she'd spent the week cheating on Dani. Had she been cheating on Dani? Emotionally maybe. But if she had she hadn't realised it, and now that she was aware, she was doing something about it. Admittedly not something Dani would be happy about, but still. "It's more of like…like…Like I just kind of get swept up by her. We didn't do anything, I just…my mind just…I get like tunnel vision or something."

"What's that supposed to mean? You see your ex and everything else stops mattering? Even your girlfriend?"

YES Santana thought. "No! It's just that once I saw her I knew something was wrong with her, and I've been trying to help her out, and doing that made me…like all I could think about….I was worried about her." Santana threw her head back and groaned. "I'm not explaining this right."

"You think?"

"I can't explain it okay?" Santana yelled. "You'd have to see us together."

"Oh yeah sure. I'll get right on that. Are you even serious right now?"

"Look I know it's wrong okay? That's why I'm calling."

"To rat yourself out and grovel right?"

Dani's anger seemed to fizzle out, replaced by something else Santana couldn't place. Probably because she'd just jumped to a conclusion about where this conversation was headed, Santana thought. The right conclusion. Santana sighed, steeling herself to do what she needed to. It would be hard, because a part of her didn't want to break up with Dani. A part of her wanted to just apologise for being a shit girlfriend over the past week, go back home early and make it up to her. She wanted so badly to not care that it was a doomed relationship. To just go back to New York and be happy for a while. Save this break up for when it was actually necessary, like when Brittany was an option again. But Santana couldn't do that. Aside from the fact that she'd probably break out into hives over keeping her kiss with Brittany a secret, she really cared about Dani. Breaking up now would hurt them both, but breaking up years later, after really making a life together and settling into their relationship would be cruel. If Dani was in glee club Santana would have sang to her to explain her intentions right out of the gate. Say goodbye by Chris Brown seemed fitting.

"Tana"

"Elle…"

"You're breaking up with me for her?"

"I'm not-"

"And you expect me to believe that nothing happened with her?"

"Nothing did. Look…You were right to be pissed off earlier. You shouldn't be okay with your girlfriend when she tells you that whenever her ex is around she's all she can focus on. You shouldn't have to put up with that. It's wrong."

Dani was glaring hard, tears brimming but not falling.

"You're right. It is wrong. This is wrong Santana."

"I know" Santana hung her head. "I'm really sorry."

"Are you really going to do this over the phone?"

"I didn't think you'd appreciate me lying to you for that long." Santana looked back at the phone.

"Or you didn't want to face me in person."

"No…" Santana shook her head. "I'm not that much of a coward."

"Aren't you?"

Biting her lip, Santana kept in her retort. She'd never been broken up with, and the only other emotional break up she'd gone through had been sad but there had been no anger. She didn't know what Dani was feeling right now, but she knew that as the one ending things she owed Dani the chance to get out all her feelings. It didn't matter if Santana knew she was doing the right thing, she was hurting Dani, and Dani was allowed to be as mean as she wanted to cope with that.

"God…I should have known. When Kurt asked if you were sure you wanted to go, I should have known it was because of her."

"I'm so sorry Dani…"

"Fuck you." Dani spat, finally crying. Santana bit the inside of her bottom lip. "I don't want you to be sorry, I want you to tell me the truth."

Santana frowned. "I don-"

"You owe me that. You owe me the truth. You've cheated on me and are breaking up with me over the phone. The least you could give me is an explanation."

"I've already given you one."

"A bull shit one. Do you just want to fuck her with a clean conscience? Did you get tired of avoiding my calls?"

"Dani stop it. I didn't cheat on you."

"Fuck you Santana."

The call ended, and Santana was left staring at their texts. The last one was from Dani.

'Stop having so much fun and call me back so I can tell you I miss you.'

She sighed, laying down on her bed and staring at her ceiling. Dani was probably crying right now, curled into her bed or on the couch and crying, all because of her. She tried not to but she cared. A lot. She almost wanted to call her back and comfort her, but she knew that wouldn't do any good. Dani needed to hate her for a few months. It's not like they'd been dating for long, but as she'd been thinking earlier, they were good together. Good as in they could have been one of those couples that dated for 8 years. The only problem was that they were bound to end. She and Brittany were the endgame, they both knew that. That was always the plan. Everything they did was leading up to that eventuality. Whatever they did in the interim, they would find their way to each other. And she liked Dani enough not to keep her around just as a placeholder.

Santana had done the right thing, she knew that, so she was okay with Dani hating her if she needed to. Because Brittany had kissed her, and she'd kissed Brittany back.