Chapter 12
Monica was about to hit them with the bad news before strong beeping noises came from Jason's room. Monica rushed into the room, with Courntey right behind her.
Monica and the docter's kept yelling things to each other about vitals or something, but Courtney could barely hear them as she just watched Jason's motionless body just lay there on that gurney. Tears sprang to her eyes, and she couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't stand looking at the love of her life laying there, dying right before her eyes.
She ran out of the room, with Sonny and Carly right behind her. Courtney ran towards the elavators, needing to get out of there. Needing air to breath, and some space to clear her head. Sonny caught her right when she got onto the elavotor. He signled Carly to stay behind as he the doors shut, closing Carly off from Courtney and Sonny.
Sonny brought Courtney into his strong brotherly embrace, as she looked back up at him with those tear rimmed baby blue eyes, and then she broke. She cried into her brother's jacket, while he soothed her, while they both sunk onto the ground. Sonny continued to hold his baby sister, as she cried for dear life, and rubbed her back and her hair, hoping to calm her down. She kept on crying, and looked back up at him and said, "Sonny I can't do this. I need him. He has to... I just can't..." She continued to choke on her words, as Sonny hushed her quietly and brought her back into his arms. He rocked her back and forth, continuing to hold her, as she cried.
Carly sighed deeply, hating to see her friend in such dispair. She couldn't imagine going through what Courtney was going through, and on top of that, Jason was shot, and they didn't know if he was going to make it. If Jason died... No! She wasn't going to think like that. Jason was going to live. He had to.
Carly continued to pace, and biting her nails, as she continued to wait on news for Jason. She looked up and saw Monica fast approaching her, with a grim look on her face.
"Monica what's wrong? Is Jason alright?" Carly asked worridly.
"No, I'm afraid he's just gotten worse. He had a seizure, and it already set him back, from his already deathly state. At this rate, I don't know if he is going to make it throught he night." Monica said, as she let a tear roll down her cheek, not really caring if she wasn't acting as professional as she should.
Carly felt for the woman in front of her. True, she didn't really like Monica, but she could tell this was killing her to watch her son... die? God no, Jason could not die. He could not do this to her, or Sonny, or those boys, or... Courtney. Oh my god, Courtney. She was already breaking, and if Jason died, she will definatly not be able to live through it. God this just couldn't be happening. No, it couldn't, and it won't. She was going to talk to Jason so much, that it was going to drive him nuts, so he will have to wake up to tell her to shut the hell up! She thought to herself, and would have laughed at herself, if it wasn't such an intense moment.
"Monica can I see him?" She asked.
"Yes. But you really should find Courtney and tell her." Monica said, knowing that this was going to kill the young girl who had Jason's heart.
" I will." She said before walking past Monica, and started for the hall.
"Carly wait!" Monica said abruptly, causing Carly to turn around, and looking at her questingly.
"That's not all. There is something about Jason's condition that I have to tell you." Moncia said, walking back over to Carly, and telling her what she had dreaded to tell them in the first place.
The elevator signeled it's arrival with a "ding" when it reached the roof. Courtney looked up at the elevator doors as they opened. She stood up, with Sonny behind her. She walked out and walked to the door that led to the outside. She opened it, and felt the cool crisp air of the night hit her tear stained cheeks, and walked over to the balcony. She delecatly placed her hands on top of the cold balcony, and sighed in contentment.
Sonny just watched her take it all in. He watched as she looked up into the sky, and how she looked all around the city. And how she breathed in the air around her, and her light blonde hair whipping around her face. He smiled at how childlike she looked, but yet, so broken inside. He looked down at the floor, then heard her soft voice speak to him.
"What's it like, Sonny?" She asked, still looking over at the beautiful view of Port Charles in the night.
Sonny's head shot up when he heard her speak. "What's, "what", like?" Sonny asked questingly as he looked at her.
"What's it like to fell like your breaking inside? To know, that your whole world is falling apart, and that there's nothing you can do to stop it. What's it like to feel like your losing control, and you don't know what to do, or who to trust."
Sonny was about to answer, before Courtney turned around and faced him. "Because that's what I'm feeling like now Sonny. And I'm scared." She said quietly.
"Why you scared?" Sonny asked, while looking at her intently.
"Because I don't know how to stop it. And I'm afraid that once I break, I will never be able to bring myself back from it." She said. Sonny went over to her, and brought her into his arms. She didn't cry, she just sat in the embrace of her big brother.
"Listen to me. Your too strong to break. Your not going to be alone, because I'm going to be here for you. And so is Jason."
"Yeah if he doesn't die." Courtney said bitterly, letting a single tear drop.
"He's not going to die. He won't. He can't." Sonny said, trying to convince Courtney, and himself. And there they stood. The big brother holding his little sister, protecting her from anything, and everything. Telling himself that no matter what happened, he was always going to protect her, because god help him if he ever let someone hurt her again, like that bastard who raped her did. He looked up into the sky, and silently prayed for his sister, his best friend, and his family, not knowing that he was going to need a lot more than praying to help his family out.
Carly sat there like a stone at the news Monica just told her. No, no, this can't be happining. She tried her best to tell herself over and over again that they had made a mistake, but no. She still had this nagging feeling that it was true, and... oh god. How was she going to tell Courtney? She still sat there, until she heard the "ding" of the elevator, signaling someone's arrival. She looked up, and saw Courtney, and Sonny step off the elavator, and come over towards her. She knew she had to tell them.
"Hey. How's Jason?" Sonny asked, as Courtney watched Carly's expression grow even sadder, and tears threatining to fall.
"Sonny, he's, um, he's not doing so good." Carly said somberly.
"Carly, please. Tell me. What's wrong with Jason?" Courtney nearly begged. Carly looked from her husband, to her best friend. She saw the desparation in her baby blue eyes, and knew, that she had to tell them, because they may not have a lot of time to say goodbye.
"Monica said that the, um, the bullet that went into his head... it hit something in his brain that affects his ability to do things, like walk or talk... and it affects him not to be able to think... but she said what it's most going to affect... is his..."
"...memory." Courtney finished for her. She saw Carly wipe away the tears that since then fallen freely from her eyes.
"Yeah. Monica said he may have memory loss, and brain damage, and when he wakes up, that is even if he does, he's most likely not going to remember us. God sweety I am so sorry." Carly said as she watched her best friend for a reaction. But all she saw was a cold hard exterior, that she knew all to well. It was the same one that Sonny used to cover up his feelings.
Courtney turned her head, shielding her view away from her family. She wiped away the stray tears that had fallen from her eyes, so sick of crying! She turned back around, and turned to face Sonny and Carly. "How much time do we have?" She asked.
"Not much. Monica said he probely won't last through the night." Carly said somberly.
"I want to see him." Courtney said determined, not even waiting for a response, before turning around and walking towards his room.
"Courtney..." Sonny said, about to go after her.
"No Sonny," Carly said, grabbing his arm from preventing from going after her, "she needs to say good bye." She said simply. Sonny nodded, and turned around, and held onto his wife, letting her cry into him. He just couldn't believe that this was happining.
Courtney walked up to Jason's hospital room door, and let out a deep sigh, dreading what she had to do. She opened the door cautiously, not even wanting to see the state he was in.
She walked in, and gasped, "oh my god." She whispered to herself. He was hooked up to so many machines, even thought she didn't know why... they weren't helping him! She walked over to his, and felt his hand. It was so cold. She looked down at him, and she let a tear down her face. She saw the chair beside his bed, and saw down in it. She looked up at his handsome face. She lifted a hand up to touch it, and was shocked to find it so cold. He looked so pale, and so weak, which is something she never thought she would have to describe Jason as. But he looked so innocent, and almost child like, with the big bandage wrapped around his head, tubes going in and out every which way. God it was almost to much to take. She looked down at his huge hands, and took one of them into her small, delicate hand, and brought it up to her mouth, and kissed it gently. Then she started to speak.
"I know you can't hear me, or maybe you can, I don't know. But you need to know a few things. And you probely already know them, but I'm going to say them again." She sighed, and took another deep breath. "I love you Jason Morgan. And you are the ONLY one for me. I will never love anybody as much as I love you. I tried to move on, but I knew, that in my heart, you would always be the one and only man for me. I know that sounds stupid, but I don't care right now. But I also hate you Jason. I hate you so much for leaving me here. But you are the only man, that I could love so much, and hate so much, at the same time. I need you, and knowing that your not going to be here with me to get me through this... it's killing me, because I know your not going to be there to see me on the other side. God Jason... your my whole world. I would die for you! Why are you leaving me, and everybody else who loves you? But I promise you, that I'm going to stay here with you. I'm not going to leave you. I promised you that I would love you till the day you die, and that I would never leave you. I made that mistake before, and I'm not going to do it again. I love you, always and forever." She said, crying freely now, not caring if she was being selfish or not, because she was not going to leave his bedside. She held on to his hand, and just stared at him for what seemed like hours. She looked down for a minute, and then felt something. She didn't breath, hoping that it wasn't just her imagination. She looked back up, and saw Jason's eyes start to flutter a little bit. She felt his hand move again, and then he opened his eyes, to reveal the true blue that they were.
"Oh my god, Jason."
A/N So... I FINALLY updated! LOL! So how was it? I wasn't sure about this chapter... so leave me feedback, and tell me how it was.
