Baby, It's Cold Outside
Assignment #11 / Culinary Arts: Herbs and Spices - Task #6 Chili Powder - Write about eating or drinking something warm on a cold/cool day.
A/N: Suggestive content and lots of swearing, but this is just fluff and fun at the end of the day!
"You'll be pleased to know that I'm not wearing any underwear!" James announced boldly, as he kicked open the bedroom door.
The noise of the handle ricocheting off plaster didn't quite cover Sirius's alarmed yelp. Tea slopped all over his arm as he bolted upright in bed, having sunk down against the pillows with the mug cooling in his lap, presumably trying to enjoy a few minutes of peace and quiet.
"What the fuck, James?" Sirius whined, as he deposited the mug on the side-table. "You're lucky that wasn't boiling hot—!" He did some sort of double-take, face scrunching up. "And what the hell are you on about? Why haven't you got any underwear on? It's freezing."
James, who was standing in a fit of frozen horror in the doorway, jerked back to life. He wrapped the dressing gown firmly around himself and took one single step back, reaching with Expert Bullshit Powers for the nearest excuse, which squirmed pathetically in his grip.
"I was a bit hot," he said.
Sirius squinted at him. "You were hot."
James nodded vigorously, committing to the lie. "Boiling, in fact."
Sirius transferred his dubious gaze to the bedroom window, where snow was falling in faint sheets, packing itself against the frosted glass. James held back a wince. He'd forgotten to check the weather, going straight from his bed to his shower and then down the hall to where his roommate was supposed to be.
"You actually expect me to believe that?" Sirius demanded, narrowing his eyes. "It looks like bloody Narnia out there."
"Believe what you like," James said, backing away quickly with a sunny, innocent smile. "Makes no difference to me! Why should it? I'll just be in the kitchen…"
"Hang on a minute!" Sirius barked, eyes widening with alarm. "What the hell were you doing bursting in here with no underwear on? This is Regulus's room!"
"Well, why are you in Regulus's room?" James said frantically, flailing one hand and immediately regretting it, seizing the edge of his dressing gown to stop it flapping open. "Just because I gave you a key to our flat doesn't mean you can just drop in whenever you like and get comfortable in another man's bed, Sirius!"
"It's my little brother's bed, you shithead, and if I find out you've been getting comfortable in—" Sirius's snarl was cut-off as he tried, fruitlessly, to cast himself out of said little brother's bed. "Why the fuck does he have so many blankets?"
"I know," James said sympathetically, pausing in the chilly hallway to watch the slow, inexorable drowning of one Sirius Black. "Ridiculous, isn't it? I told him to get his circulation checked out, because there's no way it's healthy to be this cold all the time."
Sirius made an inarticulate, strangled noise of rage and disappeared further into the covers. A breaststroke of sorts followed, though it wasn't particularly successful, considering the sheer amount of marshmallow-coloured throws. Once he looked a little bit like he'd given up on escaping, or on life in general, James deemed it safe enough to sneak back to the door and pull it quietly shut.
"I'll make you some hot chocolate," he whispered. "You just rest."
A pillow soared towards the door, but James was already scampering away.
When Regulus finally came home, James was leaning against the kitchen counter, drowning his sorrows in hot chocolate. It was the good, thick kind of hot chocolate, the kind you made with milk on the stove, the kind that warmed your soul as well as your belly. Sirius wasn't wrong when he said it was freezing, and those precious moments he spent standing in the doorway instead of curled up in Regulus's bed had thoroughly frozen his balls off.
He held the mug close to his nose and inhaled deeply while Regulus took off his shoes and put his keys into the bowl, breathing in the scent of cocoa and cream and a hint of cinnamon. It soothed his fragile spirits. So did the sound of Regulus humming slightly under his breath and puttering around, but he wasn't prepared to examine why that made him feel better.
"Sirius is in your bed," he said.
Regulus spun around, gaze narrow, until he spotted James huddled against the counter. He relaxed immediately, face softening. James wasn't going to examine that either.
"He did say that he might drop by this morning," Regulus said, putting a small paper bag on the TV unit. "Lupin is at some conference all week, and I don't particularly want him to mope his way into a black hole of depression."
"That's all well and good, but I don't think you understand."
Regulus tipped an eyebrow his way, shedding the long charcoal-grey coat he favoured at this time of year.
"Sirius," James said again, taking a deep breath, "is in your bed. Which is in your room. Which is where I intended to fuck you into oblivion a couple of hours ago, but that's a bit hard to do when Sirius is in your bed instead of you."
Regulus paused in the act of pulling off his scarf. "Pardon?"
"You heard me. And how long does it take one man to undress? Why do you have so many damn layers?"
"It's snowing outside. I don't suppose you were subtle about your plans to 'fuck me into oblivion,' were you?"
"Depends," James said hesitantly, taking another fortifying sniff of hot chocolate. "Does kicking down the door and announcing that I wasn't wearing any underwear count as subtle?"
Regulus's gaze darkened considerably, and he scanned James from head to toe, as though searching for evidence. James snorted into his hot chocolate. Like hell was he planning on standing around with everything on show with Sirius right down the hall. He was wearing his thickest, most man-repelling pyjamas—the fluffy ones with the dolphin print—and a pair of slipper socks.
"You're shit out of luck there," James said. "If you wanted a good view, you should have been in your own damn bed this morning. Where the hell did you go, anyway?"
"I had to run some errands. I brought you breakfast too, but if you're going to be ungrateful, perhaps I should've eaten it on the way back."
James perked up, setting his hot chocolate aside and beckoning him over eagerly. Regulus dutifully came closer, and James snatched the little paper bag out of his hand the moment he was within reach.
"Did you go to that place down the street? They do the best rhubarb slices… oh my God, you did. And it's still warm."
The rhubarb slice was a perfect triangle of delicious, crumbly sweetness. He eased it out of the package and stared at it avidly, aware that Regulus was watching him just as avidly, but unwilling to examine that either. He took a bite and moaned. The next thing he knew, the counter was a cold, hard presence at the small of his back, and both of Regulus's arms caged him in. There wasn't much difference in height between them, but Regulus had an inch or two on him. He had to lean down to kiss James, tilting his chin up roughly with his thumb; it made James's belly flip, something warm and hot settling there that had nothing to do with the hot chocolate.
They parted after a heady moment. James felt a little light-headed, eyes fluttering open to meet that molten gaze. Regulus reached up to brush a stray crumb off his lip, a silent shadow, pressed close enough to keep him warm.
"Am I forgiven yet?" Regulus murmured.
"Maybe." James cleared his throat and see-sawed a hand in the air. "If you can get Sirius out of your bed before I finish this thing, then I'll consider it."
He took a certain vindictive pleasure in the way Regulus leapt away from him as though burned, although mostly he just wanted to reach out and pull him closer. He took another bite of his rhubarb slice instead, practically wriggling in delight.
"He's still here?" Regulus hissed, looking horrified. "You let me kiss you like that while my brother is in the same building?"
"I couldn't get him to come out of there. I told you! He's scarred for life now, so you'll be lucky if you ever get that bed back."
The funny thing about the Black brothers was that, as much as they insisted they were nothing alike, they were so damn similar that it almost creeped James out sometimes. The strangled noise Regulus made was identical to the one Sirius made earlier, when he came back to deliver hot chocolate, complete with faux-throttling motions. The way he strode off down the corridor like a bat out of hell was familiar too.
James listened to the banging of the door and the furious shouts through the walls. He wasn't overly concerned; sure, the whole thing had been an embarrassing fiasco that would probably haunt him for a year or two, at least, but the nice thing was that he wasn't suffering alone. Sirius and Regulus had been at odds since they were very little, and only came back together a few years ago. They'd worked too hard to get where they were to let something like a lack of underwear get between them.
James winced, brushing off his own thoughts. Not the best way to put it. He polished off the rest of the rhubarb slice, licking his fingers and silently bemoaning the fact that Regulus wasn't there to see. When he was done, he put the package in the bin and picked his mug back up, waiting for the argument to end.
The bedroom door banged open and shut again. Two sets of footsteps came down the hallway, one much more begrudging than the other. Regulus appeared first, strangely pink-cheeked and purse-lipped as he threw himself into the dining room chair. Sirius stopped a little way away from the doorway, and called out: "Is everyone decent? I want to know what I'm walking into."
"Define decent," James called back. "I'm wearing a really saucy pair of slipper socks, and I don't want to offend your delicate sensibilities."
Sirius crept into the room while Regulus rolled his eyes. He eyed James with suspicion, but James knew that he secretly found him hilarious, and was trying not to laugh; it was all there in the tilt of his mouth. James lifted his mug in greeting and opened his mouth, but Sirius held up both hands, as though he could physically stop James from opening his mouth without crossing the room.
"I don't want any details," he said. "Not one. I've had enough details to last a life-time, thanks."
He cast a very pointed look at James's crotch, despite the fact that it was covered in thick woollen pyjama bottoms.
"You didn't even see anything!" James cried. "I was wearing my dressing gown."
Sirius ignored him. "The only thing I want to know is how long you've been together."
The question set James's nerves alight. He put down his mug, half-empty and too cool to really be enjoyable by now, and cast a questioning look at Regulus. He was absolutely no help, just lounging in his seat like it was a throne and not a cheap pine chair, and raised an eyebrow, like it was all up to James.
"We're…" James trailed off, fidgeting. "We're not together. It's not like that. We're roommates."
He winced instantly. Roommates didn't quite cover it, and he knew it. Regulus shot him an incredulous glance, and didn't seem moved by James's pleading stare. But the awkward silence persisted, settling over the kitchen like fresh snow, and he was acutely aware of the way Sirius was staring at them. Eventually, after James's eyes widened to painful lengths, Regulus sighed.
"Right," he said dryly. "We're just roommates. Really, really good roommates."
"Roommates." Sirius looked between the both of them for a moment. "You really expect me to believe that?"
"Believe what you like," Regulus said mildly, shrugging.
Sirius looked at him for a beat longer, and then snorted, dropping into the opposite chair. "Okay, the fact that you're both so incredibly bad at this does actually make me feel a bit better. What's for breakfast?"
"What makes you think you get breakfast?"
James heaved a quiet sigh of relief as the bickering began. He'd been Regulus's roommate for over a year now, and they'd been doing the thing where they lost their underwear around each other for about two months. It was still new, and fun, and terribly exciting, and he really didn't want to ruin anything.
He got all the necessary things out for cereal while Sirius tried to hit Regulus with some of the post sitting on the table, and a comfortable quiet fell over the kitchen as they tucked into their shreddies.
It was nice. Some part of James really wanted more, but he wasn't sure if he could ask for it. Wasn't sure if Regulus wanted to make the leap from really, really good roommates to partners. He let the conversation roll around him, and only piped up to complain about how bloody cold it was.
Sirius eyed him. "Oh yeah? I thought you were boiling, in fact."
"That was earlier," James said, shrugging. "You're shivering too, so I don't see why you're complaining."
"Maybe because I wasn't the one prancing around naked under a dressing gown this morning."
"I never said I was naked," James said, without thinking. "I just said I wasn't wearing any underwear."
There was a beat of silence where Regulus looked at him intently, gaze searing and maddeningly interested, and James stared in horror at his own bowl. Sirius's expression contorted.
"I don't want to know," Sirius said woodenly. "Merry Christmas, Regulus, I guess."
Regulus snorted inelegantly. James caught his eye over the cereal and melted at the warmth there, aimed solely at him. His heart missed a beat as Regulus offered him a faint, private smile and went back to bickering.
Sooner or later, he was going to have to examine this thing between them, but for now, he was content to let it live as it was; new and fun and breathlessly, terribly exciting.
[Word Count: 2,380]
18. (dialogue) "You'll be pleased to know that I'm not wearing any underwear." / 2. (word) Believe / 7. Blizzard - (Trope) Roommates / 1. Green - (Era) Marauder / 1. Tophat - Fluff / 8. Regulus Black + 18. Home - Write about roommates / 6. Water - (action) taking in the aroma of a drink (tea, hot cocoa, wine, etc.) / 10. Shirt: (word) warm / On the 8th Day of Christmas my 8th ship gave to me, eight maids a-milking: (Drink: Hot chocolate) / Kiss + 6. Restricted Section - (word) private / 15. White Christmas - Michael Bublé / (Dialogue) "It looks like bloody Narnia out there." / (Genre) Fluff
