Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU. It belongs to a genius named Dick Wolf. No profit is being made from this story.
Author's Note: Sorry for the delay in posting…midterms this week. So what gives? I'm not done yet; don't give up on the reviews guys! They're like manna from heaven!
Panicked whimpers quickly turned to terrified screams that bounced off of the quiet bedroom walls. Olivia's eyes snapped open. She quickly turned over and sat up.
"No, no!" he cried, his face contorted in fear. Tears choked his voice. "Liv…somebody, please!"
She pushed the blankets off of Elliot so that she could reach him and slid over. He awoke as soon as she pulled him into her arms. She hugged him tight against her, one hand sliding up and down the back of his neck. He wailed something she couldn't understand, choking on his own sobs.
"It's ok, sweetheart," she said soothingly. "You're alright." He dropped his face onto her neck. He shook so hard that Olivia could hardly hold onto him. "You're alright."
She sat up holding him and whispering soothing assurances for a good ten minutes. As he drifted back to sleep, her eyes wandered over his shoulder to see that the clock on her nightstand read 3:13 am.
It had been two days since the nasty discovery in her apartment. Any feelings of safety he may have been feeling went right out the window that day. Olivia found after a few trial and error sessions that he would only sleep if he was next to her in her bed and curled up against her so that he could feel her presence.
He usually had one or two nightmares every night, but after that day they progressed into an almost hourly occurrence. Each one was more terrifying than the last, leaving him screaming and most times crying. It broke her heart, and Olivia found herself unable to sleep at night because she was tensely waiting for the next nightmare to assault him. She wanted to save him from the horrible hell he was trapped in when he dreamed as fast as she could.
He snuggled against her with a sigh, tears still dripping down his now-relaxed face. She grimaced sadly and gently wiped them away with her fingers.
She wasn't aware that she had dozed off, but she woke up several hours later to sunlight shining through the bedroom blinds. Her entire left side felt numb. She looked over to see Elliot sprawled across her, his head almost knocking hers off of the pillow.
Her arms and shoulders cracked loudly when she shifted, and she winced in disgust. Elliot flinched involuntarily at the noise but didn't move. Olivia gently began moving him off of her. He murmured incoherently, but didn't wake up.
Finally able to move, she slipped out of bed. Elliot was lying in what looked like a very uncomfortable position, his legs bent sideways. Leaning back over the bed, she gently straightened him out and moved another pillow behind his head before moving the rest of the blankets to cover him.
He murmured again, grimacing. She smoothed the blankets around him and tenderly ran her hand down the side of his face. He let out a soft snore, and she laughed softly. Once she was satisfied that he was sleeping peacefully, she crept out of the room toward the shower.
A night's sleep had done wonders, and Captain Cragen sat in the squad car with new determination. Come on, you scum, he thought, scanning the area. Make my day. His cell phone rang, and he picked it up as he continued searching. "Cragen."
Olivia bit her lip as she heard him pick up. "Hi, Cap."
He was shocked to hear her voice. She hadn't been kidding when she had said that she didn't want to see them; none of them had heard from her in almost three days.
"Olivia," he said. She heard his surprise. "Listen, I want to apologize-"
"No, sir," she cut him off. He was silent, and she sighed before admitting, "I'm the one who should be apologizing. I was out of line to say what I did…thank you for watching out for us. I appreciate it more than you know."
He felt a weight ease from his chest. "It's good to hear you say that," he said. "I hated having you mad at me."
She nodded, even though she knew he couldn't see it. "Listen," she said hesitantly. "Can you come up? There's something I need to talk to you about."
"Sure, I'll be right up," he said. He suddenly froze when her words registered. She said come "up"...not "over".
He heard her laughing when he went silent. "Sorry, sir," she said, amused. "I'm afraid you're busted. I saw you out there yesterday morning."
He laughed sheepishly, his face turning crimson. I wonder if she knows about the undercover officers inside…
Don was saying something to her, but the only thing Olivia heard was the sound of Elliot calling her name frantically from the bedroom.
"Hold on, sir." He was surprised when she cut him off, her voice oddly pitched. He heard her footsteps rapidly moving. The sound of Elliot's panicked voice sounded over the line, and more footsteps. He heard her speaking soothingly for a minute, and there was silence before she came back.
"You still there, Captain?" Olivia asked, tucking the phone on her shoulder. She sat on the bed, her hand traveling over Elliot's forehead and around to his neck repeatedly. He had freaked out when he woke up and she wasn't in bed with him, but relaxed the minute she came back into the room.
"Yeah, still here," he answered. "I'll be up in about five minutes."
"Thanks; see you then," she said, hanging up.
Don took the elevator to the fourth floor and walked to her door. He knocked lightly and stepped back. Chains rattled and locks turned, and then she was standing in front of him. "Come in," she said, standing to the side.
She was puzzled to see his slightly uncomfortable look; then she remembered that she was in her pajamas and blushed. He stepped inside and she shut the door behind him. "Would you like some coffee?" she asked.
"Sure," he answered, following her through the kitchen. Elliot was sitting at her breakfast bar, and Don smiled warmly when he saw him.
Elliot was surprised when his captain stepped around the bar and grabbed him into a hug. "How are you doing, son?" he asked, stepping back. Olivia paused while pouring the coffee, wondering how he would answer.
"Fine," Elliot answered softly, summoning up a small smile.
Olivia handed Cragen a mug and gestured for him to sit. He thought it was odd that she only had a mug for herself, but didn't comment. "So what did you need to talk about?"
He didn't miss when her hand stiffened around the mug handle, and she started unconsciously chewing her lower lip. "How long have you been watching my house?"
Oh, lord…Had she called him up here to chew him out again? "Look, Olivia," he said. "I told you I was sorry. I'm only doing it because-"
"No, Captain," she broke in. He stopped and looked at her in surprise. "It's not that….how long have you been out there? How many days?"
He paused, thinking about it. "I put a team together the night I called you to tell you…" He stopped mid-sentence, suddenly remembering that Elliot was in the room with them and didn't know that the man had escaped. His eyes flew to hers.
She nodded at him, understanding what he was saying. "So I guess….about three days," he finished. "Why?"
Her gaze met Elliot's before she turned her focus back to him. He could see the worry shining clear in her eyes. "He's been here."
Cragen almost spit out his coffee. "What?" he said, horrified. "My God….when? Are you guys alright?"
"We weren't here." Elliot's quiet voice surprised them both. He looked at Cragen steadily as he spoke, and Don was frightened to see the hollowness in his usually sparkling eyes. "He broke in while we were at the hospital for physical therapy and trashed the living room."
Cragen looked at Olivia in alarm, sensing her thoughts. He could be anywhere…
"I thought he got arrested." Cragen heard a quiver in his voice. Olivia was becoming uneasy; she didn't like the look on her partner's face.
A flood of guilt swept over the captain. "I'm so sorry, Elliot," he said, his eyes tearing. His voice choked and he had to clear it before he could continue. "It's my fault. I didn't-"
"It's not your fault, Captain," Olivia cut in. "You were worried about Elliot. We all were." She sighed. "It's my fault for letting my guard down; I should have been more alert."
Cragen looked at her in surprise. "No, Liv," he said. "It's not your fault! You were doing everyth-"
"STOP!"
They both jumped in surprise at Elliot's outburst and turned to look at him, stunned. Elliot was trembling and clenching his fists, his breath raspy.
"Just stop it," he said, in a choked voice. "Alright?" He felt tears spring to his eyes, but furiously swiped at them. "I'm the jackass who let myself get kidnapped, remember! I'm the one who made you guys kill yourselves over finding this guy….I'm the one who let the bastard take advantage of me!"
His tears had spilled out and were dripping down his cheeks, but he ignored them. His voice rose until he was shouting. "If I was a better cop this never would have even happened! It's my fault!"
Olivia and Cragen watched as he flung himself out of the chair and took off down the hallway. The sound of her bedroom door slamming registered a minute later, releasing them from their shocked stupor.
Olivia started to rise, but Don stopped her with a hand on her arm. "Don't, Olivia," he said softly.
His gut was twisting in knots as he stared at the chair that Elliot had shoved away from the table, and his thoughts were in turmoil. Cragen was finally seeing what Olivia had been so afraid of.
Elliot's entire personality had been flipped and scrambled by the acts of that brutal monster until he was unrecognizable. Don realized that even if they did catch the guy, the detective he knew before may never come back- and that thought scared him almost as much as when Elliot had gone missing in the first place.
