Author Note: I have two more chapters ready, checked by my teacher, uploaded and waiting to be published. I wont publish them before I get at least one review.
Tiistai 22.3.2005, aine:
(Chapter 3)
Actions speak louder than words (Teot puhuvat puolestaan)
Grimize sat down at the table. Breakfast was ready and waited on the table. Tissal was doing something in the kitchen. Grimize started eating and thought about Tissal. Why would she do something like this to him?
Kenders were generally disliked because of their curiosity, quick fingers and their tendency to "find" things that other people have "lost". Why would a kender help a draconian?
Tissal came from the kitchen. "Good morning, blue-eyes, now that both of us have eaten, lets carry the dishes to the kitchen" Tissal said, grabbed what she was able to carry and disappeared to the kitchen. Grimize followed her example, asking why she did this to him. They dumped the dishes in a basin.
Tissal answered: "We kenders do what we want, I just have more self-control than most kenders have."
(107 words)
Review Responses:
darkkender
- If you read the Author Note in the end of chapter 1, you know why the
chapters are so short. Because the teacher gives us the titles for
these essays, I don't know what I'm supposed to write next time (or
right now I do know, we were given a new title not so long
ago).Chapters 4 and 5 are waiting to be published, and I'm going to
write chapter 6 today or tomorrow.
And the plot, well, basically, as long as I'm writing these as English
essays in my school, I'll be writing short glimpses of Grimize's life.
Maybe after school, in the summer, maybe then I'll write longer chapters and a more reasonable plot.
CheesecakePieman - As you see, I will write more. Here are my teacher's comments:
Chapter 1: (This comment is translated from Finnish.) The connection between the title and the essays contents?
(She hadn't expected the connection to be in the last two sentences. We
talked about it and she understood what I had meant. She pointed out
one mistake: "the low ranking Baaz's" is supposed to be "the low ranking Baazs".)
2: Ok, good. (No mistakes, yippee!)
3: Chapters 3, 4 and 5 were returned to the teacher at the same time, so she had commented only chapter 5. However, she pointed out one mistake: "lets carry the dishes" is supposed to be "let's carry the dishes".
4 (Uploaded and waiting to be published): No comment and no mistakes pointed out.
5 (Same as chapter 4): Comment to be revealed when published. No mistakes pointed out.
Author Note: Reviews, please. You already know why.
