Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, J.K Rowling has that privilege!
A/N: This is a parody on all the Sue-fics set in Hogwarts.
Belle Serenity Sequasia had long platinum blonde hair that glowed like the rays of a thousand suns. Her eyes were pale, majestic purple, flecked with brilliant gold with a ring of sky blue around the outside. She had curves in all the right places and hips that swished as she walked. She shopped in all the best shopped and wouldn't be seen in clothes that were even mildly unfashionable. She had even dyed her Hogwarts robes shimmering pink and enchanted them with undetectable wandless magic so as they glittered and glowed. Belle had only just come over from America to join Hogwarts as a transfer student and already had the eyes of almost every boy watching her as though hypnotised by her beauty and fashion sense.
Professor McGonagall had told her that she must be sorted into one of the Hogwarts Houses, and so, in front of the entire school she walked gracefully through the Great Hall up to where a battered old hat sat on a stool.
After performing more undetectable wandless magic, she placed the now sparkling, perfect black hat upon her head and waited.
"Oh, another one," said the hat in her ear. "I know just what to do with you – SUE!" There was a large amount of applause from the fifth house table in the hall as the members of the Sue House cheered for their new member. Sparkles filled the air from their special wandless magic and Belle took her seat at their special plush armchairs at the table.
"This is like, so cool!" she said to a girl across the table who had long pink hair, tan skin and eyes that seemed to be deep pools of every colour of the rainbow, constantly swirling and glowing in a most pretty manner. Her robes were golden and shimmery and flowed like water around her delicate body.
"Yeah, check it out!" squealed the girl, casting an extremely complex transfiguration spell on a plate to turn it into a small dragon then back again. "McGonagall is like, so jealous we're better than her!"
"And the guys are like, so hawt!" said another girl who had magnificent angel wings extending from her back.
Just at that second Draco Malfoy passed the Sue table, casuing them to erupt into peals of 'oh my God he's so cute' giggles that often gripped the Sues, even though they knew they could get any boy they wanted with just a flick of their perfect hair or by brewing a Love Potion better than Professor Snape could.
"Draco, will you like, go out with me?" asked Belle in a girly way, flicking her long blonde hair in an extremely entrancing manner.
"Why would I do that, you filthy mudblood?" asked Draco in his drawling voice and he turned to walk away, leaving the rest of Sue House in shock.
"That's so mean!" sobbed Belle, the pearly tears of pure emotion running softly down her perfectly shaped cheeks making her seem much more beautiful.
"Alright the, seven o'clock at the Prefect's bathroom," he muttered and walked off, leaving Belle to smile ecstatically to herself.
"That was like, so amazing!" gasped Eldasaera, the girl with the pink hair.
"Guess I'll have to cancel plans for a bath with that special someone," muttered Cedric Diggory at the Hufflepuff table.
