You Are Stronger Than You Know
This morning was somewhat more like their normal mornings. Edd felt a wave of relief when he woke up to Kevin brushing kisses against his cheek, with his comforting weight and warmth still enveloping Edd in their sleeping position. He snuggled back against Kevin, naked skin to naked skin – they'd fallen asleep after making love. 'Make up sex,' Edd reminded himself with a satisfied sigh.
He still felt there was more to say to each other, but clearing the air lifted a huge weight off his shoulders. Combined with the huge weight of their secret, he felt better than he'd had in months. As Kevin kissed on him, he smiled, reveling in Kevin's love. He certainly appreciated it much more this morning. Not that he never appreciated it, but now he felt their misunderstandings had…if not completely disappeared…were well on their way out.
It made him so happy to be cuddling with Kevin, giving him little nipping kisses back, and making him laugh again. Edd felt so heart-full he thought about skipping school to spend the day together.
However, he didn't want anyone at school to think him a coward. Or to think Kevin a coward. He knew Kevin wanted to speak to his coach today, anyway. With an important game the following day, there was no way Kevin could skip practice.
Still. Bed was nice and it took all the effort he could muster to slip out for his shower and to get ready for their day. Kevin grumbled as he left, of course, making playful grabby hands at him. "Join me if you do not want to be apart," Edd suggested teasingly.
Kevin barked out a laugh. "If I do that, we'll definitely be late for school." He stretched lazily, smiling up at Edd. Edd leaned down to kiss him, because he looked so cute with his sleep-tousled hair. "Don't forget I wanna be early…"
"I know, my love," Edd said, straightening. "I have some cereal in the pantry, if it is all right with you? It shall be quicker than if I make something."
"Of course, baby," Kevin said, rolling onto his side and snuggling his face into Edd's pillow. "Mmm, wake me when you're out of the shower," he mumbled.
Edd chuckled, ruffling Kevin's hair. "I will."
They left early to ride in together on the bike. As yesterday, Kevin felt the mixture of thrill and anxiety hitting him in turns. Thrilled that they were out and that he could show off his relationship at school now. Anxious because, yesterday, he wasn't sure what to expect and he knew Edd was anxious, which made his own anxiety rise. Today, the anxiety came from his knowledge of what Edd went through the day before. He couldn't let that happen again.
Kevin was so grateful to their friends, giving him at least some peace of mind that Edd would be safe between classes. He felt a grim smile cross his face as he accelerated through a yellow light. If anyone would mess with Edd while he had Eddy, Ed, Rolf, or Jake next to him, that person would certainly regret it. His only worry was if Edd was harassed in class, but he hoped the teachers would be sympathetic to his boyfriend. Edd was, of course, a favorite of the teachers, but one never knew.
The fact that he was between Edd's legs helped to soothe a lot of the anxiety. He felt happy that they seemed to be good. Yesterday was bad, but ended on a great note with amazing makeup sex – and Kevin felt the grim smile turn into a sappy, gentle one. Last night was so nice and hot. He loved giving himself up to Edd. Their position on the bike was very similar to last night and he felt his cheeks begin to burn. He had to concentrate on not getting too excited.
He felt Edd's arms tighten around his middle as he turned the bike onto the street on which their school was. Edd hadn't clung to him as roughly as he had the day before, until now. He knew Edd was anxious as well, but they were early. Neither of them would have to deal with other students as they arrived. Kevin would walk Edd to his home room-slash-first period class before he went to find his coach.
Kevin parked the bike and Edd scooted back and slipped off, shooting a slight sadness through Kevin at once again not doing their little ritual. Helmets came off and Kevin locked them onto the bike. Edd comfortably positioned his bag as Kevin watched.
He could see Edd would again not be agreeable to holding hands, and Kevin could respect that. As before they became intimate, Kevin would wait until Edd was ready. Instead, he simply said, "Let's see if Mr. Knight will let you hang out for a bit."
Mr. Knight was at his desk, typing on his laptop, bent over and squinting at the screen. The somewhat pompous teacher refused to wear his glasses, so he was forever squinting his eyes, which served to make him look more fierce than normal. Edd enjoyed this gruff teacher, a man easily ruffled by his students, but Edd surmised he hid a big heart under his bristly exterior.
"Mr. Vincent? And Mr. Barr? Imagine seeing the both of you this early in the day."
"Hey, Mr. Knight," Kevin said easily, a trait Edd couldn't help but envy. Kevin seemed at ease no matter what the situation was, and was ever comfortable talking to teachers, who all seemed to succumb to his charm.
"Good morning, Mr. Knight," Edd said in his more formal way.
"To what do I owe this dubious pleasure?"
"Is it okay if Edd hangs out here? We're early so I can talk to Coach Travers before classes start," Kevin said.
The teacher humphed to himself. "Why not? As long as he stays quiet and doesn't disturb me."
Kevin laughed at that. "Does Edd ever make noise in class?"
"Kevin..."
"Sorry, Dee." Kevin turned his attention to the smaller boy. "I'll see you at lunch. Don't forget that Eddy will walk you to second period, okay?"
"Yes, Kevin. I shall not forget. You texted me your arrangements."
"Good. Text me when you can and have a good day." With that, and much to Edd's embarrassment, as Mr. Knight could clearly see them standing in the doorway, Kevin leaned down to kiss Edd on his temple.
It flustered Edd too much to answer as Kevin turned and left. Edd looked at Mr. Knight, whose attention seemed to be on his computer again, though the teacher wasn't squinting, so Edd knew it was a pretense. Edd quietly crossed to the middle seat in the front row and sat down. He took out his book for the class to do some reading, as he figured it would be the least noisy thing he could do.
He couldn't get past the first sentence of the chapter. He sat, hunched over his desk, staring at the page as the words smushed themselves together into a heap of unintelligible gibberish. Edd also felt eyes on him and knew Mr. Knight was watching him over the edge of the laptop. The scrutiny made him want to scream. Part of his anxiety from the day before was this same feeling - he wasn't used to people looking at him, to being the center of attention. He tried his hardest to ignore it, but he couldn't pretend not to notice, so he finally looked up and met his teachers' eyes.
He was surprised at the kindness and sympathy expressed in Mr. Knight's eyes. As squinty as they were, he regarded Edd with a level of empathy that brought a lump into his throat. Edd even felt the irritating sting of tears, though none really formed, and they stared at each other for a few minutes before Mr. Knight finally spoke.
"That was a brave thing you did the other day, Mr. Vincent."
Edd's mouth dropped open in surprise. He should have guessed the teachers would all know as well. The word spread fast enough in the two class periods after lunch when Edd announced he and Kevin were dating. Mrs. and Coach Travers both knew, and Edd should have assumed the teachers probably gossiped as much, if not more, than the students did.
"I am sorry?"
"Coming out like that. Announcing it in such a dramatic way."
"I did not mean to be dramatic," Edd protested.
Mr. Knight chuckled. "No, Mr. Vincent, I don't suppose you did. It's not exactly in your nature, is it?"
Edd shook his head, unsure of how to respond. Was Mr. Knight amused? Disgusted? Irritated? He couldn't tell.
"Still, dating the most popular boy in the school. One whom no one would ever guess was that way. Quite the coup for you, I should say. Who would have thought that the shy, little genius, Eddward Vincent, would set his aim so high? And succeed! Quite the coup, indeed."
"I do not think of Kevin that way. That is not what our relationship is like," Edd said, frowning. "I like Kevin because he is Kevin, not because he is popular."
"Oh, no doubt, my dear boy, no doubt." The teacher still looked vastly amused at his thoughts.
"Are you making fun of me?" Edd asked, gripping the edge of his book.
"No! Please do not think that, Mr. Vincent. I'm proud of you," Mr. Knight said. "Why, when I was your age, a young, gay man would never dream of saying the words out loud. It simply was not done. The world has come a long way since then, much to my delight, but also to my pain. I wish it had been easier back then."
Edd's frown smoothed out into a puzzled expression. Was Mr. Knight suggesting he was gay, too? Edd didn't know much about the teacher personally, just as he didn't know much personally about any of the teachers he had during his educational experience. The thought had never crossed Edd's mind that any of his teachers may be somewhere in the LGBTQIA community, though he felt foolish to have never considered it.
"Easier?"
"Yes, my boy. Easier."
"Mr. Knight? Are you…?" Edd asked, not quite able to say the word. It was such a personal question after all.
"Gay? As gay as, they say, Paris in springtime?" He laughed at his own joke, though Edd didn't find it very funny.
"I had no idea," Edd said faintly.
"You don't pay close attention, Mr. Vincent. Have you never heard the rumors? I know it's been rumored since I started here twenty-five years ago."
"I do not pay much attention to rumors."
"That's a good thing, my boy, a good thing. Rumors are usually false anyway, but the one about me was a rarely true one. That is why I am proud of you. You are able to do what a lot of us cannot. I do not exactly hide it, but I'm careful of whom I tell. Careful about who knows. Which also means I trust you will not fuel the rumor mill?" When Edd shook his head, the teacher smiled. "I thought as much. You were ever an honest young man, Mr. Vincent." Edd winced inwardly at being called honest. "It has always been a pleasure to teach you. I'm happy for you. I know this is not an easy thing to deal with, but you are stronger than you know."
"Thank you, sir."
"Should you need anything, even a sympathetic ear, I am always here, young man. I don't have many favorite students." Edd smiled at that. He knew Mr. Knight had a reputation as a bristly and brusque type. Many students didn't like him for his stern way of speaking and how seriously he handled his class and his subject. He was much stricter than normal teachers were, but Edd liked him. He didn't approach history as a boring rote of learning dates and dusty names. He sat his bulk behind his lectern and told them stories in a way that captured the imagination. Edd had always liked history, but learning it in such a way was a joy to him.
"I do appreciate it, sir."
"You have many more people in your corner than you may realize," Mr. Knight added, returning his squinting gaze to his computer screen. "You and Mr. Barr."
Coach Travers was correcting papers when Kevin knocked on the open door, startling the older man, whose expression slid into a smile when he saw it was Kevin. "Morning, Kev. Here a little early today?"
"Yeah, Coach," Kevin said, stepping in. "I need to talk to you if that's okay?"
"Of course. Pull up a chair."
"Can I shut the door?" Kevin asked, then did after the coach nodded.
"What can I do for you, Kev?" Coach asked as Kevin sat in a chair opposite him.
Kevin had planned what he wanted to say, but he was still unsure of how to start. The coach had helped him the other day with Edd, had let Kevin have the day off practice, had treated Kevin the same way he treated Kevin every day, but Kevin still had no idea what his coach thought of him. He was worried the coach might be narrow-minded - possibly think a 'fairy' couldn't play sports and would ask Kevin to leave the team. Kevin didn't think the coach would do that, but Kevin knew his fear was justified, in a way. Kevin had no illusions on how people would treat him throughout life.
"I want to ask," Kevin paused, then took a breath. "What I guess I want to know is…what's the policy for the team on bullying?"
Coach Travers sat back in his chair and crossed his arms as he thought. "Bullying? It's the same as with the school, Kev. Zero tolerance. I won't put up with any form of bullying - emotional, verbal, physical. It's immediate removal from the team. Whether or not the school will also take measures is up to the administration, but I don't tolerate it."
"That's what I thought," Kevin murmured, glad it was true.
"I won't have my kids become brutes. I won't. My kid brother was picked on when we were young and it broke my heart. I won't have my kids do that to anyone." Kevin was surprised at the scowl on his coach's face. "What's wrong? Did something happen to you yesterday?"
Kevin shook his head. "Not me. Edd."
Kevin could see that this did not surprise the coach, who merely grunted.
"No one said a word to me," Kevin said, a little of his anger showing. "But Edd was harassed."
"Not surprising. I'm assuming the boy can't or won't fight back."
"No. He wouldn't even if he could. Nazz said they were cowards - picking on Edd because they didn't dare pick on me. Hurting him when he can't do anything about it."
"Edd was hurt?" the coach asked, concerned. He leaned forward, his arms resting on the desk.
Kevin nodded. "From some of my teammates. He has bruises..."
It startled Kevin at how angry the coach looked as he interrupted. "My boys hurt him?"
"I'm not sure who. I mean, I know Jason was the one who shoved him in the bathroom and left bruises on his back. Then threatened him to stay away from me." Kevin felt the sting of tears in his eyes as he thought again about anyone hurting his sweet Edd. "I don't know who else bullied him."
"If Edd wants to pursue this, Kevin, I can and will remove Jason from the team."
"Edd doesn't want to. And," he said, noticing the additional frown lines on his coach, "I understand. I'm not happy about it, but I can't make him." The coach nodded. "What I do want to know is can I speak to the team before practice today?"
"You're the captain, Kev. Of course, you can. What do you want to say?"
"I think I'm just going to remind the guys about the bullying policy. I hope that will end it. In the meantime, I'm making sure Edd isn't really alone here at school. I don't know what else to do to protect him. Part of me wants to beat the shit out of Jason for even thinking he could touch Edd. But Edd made me promise to not go after him."
"I understand, but I'm happy you refrained from doing anything. Jason is the type to turn you in if you did. I think talking to them will help. I'll back you up. But, if anything happens to Edd again, or to you for that matter, tell me and I'll deal with it."
The relief Kevin felt almost overwhelmed him. His coach not only seemed to accept him, but also supported him.
"Thanks so much, Coach. I can't tell you what this means to me. To us."
"You're a good, brave kid, Kevin. I'll do whatever I can to help."
Edd couldn't help but be both annoyed and touched at the concern of his friends. The way Eddy stalked through the halls with him, glaring at anyone who looked at the pair of them, made Edd want to laugh. Eddy's expression alone would keep any potential harasser at bay. Edd just hoped Eddy wouldn't physically attack anyone who tried anything.
Jake was his escort to third period, which made Edd nervous. In a weird way, Jake set this whole thing in motion, though Edd knew it actually started by Kevin singing at the talent show. Edd and Kevin's fights started because Jake knew about them.
Yet, Edd thought it was unfair to Jake to think of him like that. Surely, Kevin's friends did seem to care a great deal about Kevin, and surprisingly by extension, of himself. Edd knew Jake had tried to be friendly to him ever since the Eds had joined the table at lunch but Edd was too shy and awkward to say a lot back to any of the attempts at conversation that Jake put forth.
They didn't speak at first as they stopped at Edd's locker quickly before walking to the stairs. Jake smiled easily enough at him, but Edd didn't quite know what to think about Jake. He had been surprised when Jake showed up at his home the day he came out. It was nice that Kevin's friend had come to offer support, though he assumed it was more for Kevin than for him.
"You doing okay?"
Edd looked up, his eyes wide. "Yes, Jake. I am fine. Thank you for inquiring."
Jake's eyebrows raised. "You're welcome," he said, then rubbed the back of his neck. "I know you don't really know me, Double D, but Kev's a good friend. I'm really happy for him that he's so happy with you. I hope we can be friends, too."
It was not exactly what Edd expected, but it did make him feel good. He knew how much Kevin's friends meant to him, so for one of them to offer friendship to Edd in spite of being different from each other proved to Edd how much Jake, in turn, cared for Kevin. The thought made him smile.
"I-I would very much like that, Jake," he answered in a shy tone. "I know Kevin considers you one of his closest friends."
"He does?"
"Yes. I have heard about all of your adventures and exploits from Kevin," Edd said with a small laugh. "I was quite amused by them."
Jake laughed. "Yeah, we do have fun that's for sure."
"I like your girlfriend, too," Edd said. "She was very nice to me at the winter festival we all attended together."
"She was the one who suspected you and Kev were together."
"Yes, Kevin told me."
"She told me on the drive home. I'm completely oblivious to those kind of things, but Carla's like Superwoman when it comes to that."
"Kevin told me you said we were not very subtle about it if one looked closely. It is difficult to hide how you feel about someone else all of the time."
"Yeah. I don't think anyone else noticed, but after Carla told me that, I watched you guys. Then it was obvious."
Edd sighed. "I am actually surprised we hid it as long as we did," he said as they mounted the stairs to the second floor. "Kevin, especially, is not good at hiding his feelings. Since he is popular, it is a mystery no one ever noticed."
Jake hummed in agreement.
"I imagine that because Kevin is quite masculine no one would suspect he preferred his own gender. The stereotype we are all feminine is strong, and Kevin is anything but feminine."
Jake snorted then, getting another glance from Edd. "I guess that could be. I mean, I don't think it. One of the toughest guys I've ever known is gay. But I can see what you mean."
They had arrived at Edd's class. "Thank you again, Jake, for escorting me. I appreciate it and I know Kevin does, too."
"My pleasure, Double D. I'll see you at lunch!" Jake said with a little wave.
His third and then his fourth period class, to which Ed escorted him, were uneventful. Except for one of the cheerleaders grilling him about his relationship with Kevin in the two minutes before the teacher began the lecture. Edd was confused and unsure of how to answer her. He was so used to his relationship with Kevin being private that direct questions by someone whom he didn't know was off-putting to him. At least, he thought to himself, she wasn't making fun of him.
Rolf had a class right next door, which was why Kevin asked him to escort Edd to lunch. They first visited Edd's locker to retrieve his lunchbox, then headed up the two flights of stairs to the cafeteria.
When they entered, Edd stopped short. He noticed that Jake occupied Edd's normal seat and the spot Jake normally sat in was empty. The seat next to Kevin. Of course Kevin would expect Edd to sit next to him. They were boyfriends, after all, and it was known throughout the school, so why not? He felt his anxiety spike slightly. This would be an entire hour of people staring at them with no doubt the rumors were true.
Rolf looked at him with concern. "Is the Edd-boy okay?" he asked.
Edd swallowed, and nodded, though a little jerkily. "It appears Kevin expects me to sit next to him."
"Ah, yes, of course. Kev-boy expected this thing yesterday, though the Edd-boy didn't be showing up." Rolf put his hand on Edd's shoulder in comfort. "Rolf is sure everything will be okay, Edd-boy. Do not be worrying and it will make Kev-boy very happy."
"But everyone will stare."
"Let them. They are not knowing what it means to love someone if they are thinking bad things about the Edd-boy and Kev-boy." Then, in a statement that surprised Edd more because it wasn't in Rolf's usual vernacular, the boy said to Edd in a low voice. "You and Kevin love each other. If they don't like it, they can, as my Nana would say, go fuck a goat."
Edd nearly choked on a laugh, and gasped out a "Language, Rolf!", which got his friend laughing.
"Edd-boy knows Rolf is right," Rolf said.
"You are," Edd agreed, then began walking again toward the table. He felt a little lighter at what Rolf had said, because his friend was correct. Why should Edd care what the rest of the students here thought of him and Kevin? Edd only cared what the Eds, Nazz, and Rolf thought. Of course, there was a concern of someone harming him or Kevin, but as far as what people thought about it? It wasn't their business.
Kevin's smile was nervous, though he looked on eagerly as he and Rolf approached. Jake looked at Edd with a sheepish expression and a shrug. Edd rounded the table, stood behind the empty spot next to Kevin, and set down his lunchbox.
"Hey, Dee," Kevin said softly.
"Greetings, Kevin," he replied as he pulled out the chair and settled into it.
"I hope you don't mind…" Kevin said, leaving it hanging.
"No, Kevin. I do not mind," he said, giving Kevin a small smile.
Kevin's answering grin warmed Edd's heart, despite the sensation crawling up his spine from the stares he felt directed at them.
Edd looked around the table, then asked in a low tone, "Jason will not be here, will he?"
Jake snorted. "That little coward didn't come over here yesterday. I can't imagine he will today."
Edd nodded. "What about your other friends, Kevin? Did they sit here yesterday?"
"I think so. They were walking over towards this table when I left to go look for you."
Jake nodded when Kevin glanced at him. "Yeah, Ben and Joel were here."
"That is good," Edd said as he pulled the leftovers out of his lunchbox. "I know Kevin enjoys their friendship."
"Hey, now that we're not hiding anything," Kevin said, looking pointedly down at Edd's lunch, "you can pack leftovers for me, too. You know how hard it is to watch you eat the stuff you made knowing how good it was the night before?"
Edd chuckled. "As difficult to watch you eat the leftovers we made at your house the night before."
Kevin leaned closer to him and nudged him with his elbow and Edd returned the gesture. Kevin looked surprised, but Edd simply smiled at him.
"Hey guys!"
"What's up?"
They looked up to see Ben and Joel pulling out chairs, Ben next to Jake and Joel next to Edd. Edd turned back to look at Kevin in time to see a flash of a relieved expression on his face before he returned their greetings.
The group settled into their normal and easy chatter of every other day. Mostly complaints about different teachers or problems in class. Edd still felt too shy to jump in, but he made the effort of maintaining eye contact instead of staring at his lunch. Eddy, sitting across from Kevin, shot Edd a reassuring smile every time their eyes met, and that helped relieve a lot of tension in his body. As did the occasional touches of his and Kevin's hands atop the table as they ate.
Edd could see students at the other tables staring at them. He could feel their eyes. The hair prickled on the back of his neck. Edd wasn't sure exactly what to think or how he felt. Relief was a surprising emotion. He imagined now that everyone knew about them, the stress everyone would find out was gone. While he still feared the repercussions of this whole thing, he wasn't as concerned as he thought he'd be. Kevin was right. This would probably blow over in a week or so, then he and Kevin would become old news and the student body would move on to the next piece of juicy gossip.
Lunch was pleasant and Edd allowed himself to enjoy it. He laughed more than he ever had before, though he didn't contribute much to the conversation. Edd knew Jake liked him, but he didn't know if Ben or Joel did. At least they were being friendly and acting as they normally did. Jackie and Maddie, who joined them halfway through the lunch period, were the same. Granted, they weren't as flirty with Kevin, but they still joked around with him and the others. Overall, it couldn't have gone better in Edd's opinion and he felt a little silly for how much he had worried.
