Reviews:
DangerousDill11: That's a real possibility.
QueenAzulaThinksYourWorthless: True. Enjoy!
dm4487: You'll just have to wait and see.
DSX62415: I don't think you have to worry about that. There's no toxic waste on the island.
Gucci Mane LaFlare: He'll get more focus over time, but he's not a main character, so he won't monopolize the story.
Phenomenal Ultra Instinct: Finally, someone gets it! Chaos indeed. As for being tired of the abundance of canon pairings, the two most bothersome ones tend to be Duncney and Zoke. And I have at least five notable fanon pairings planned, so you won't be wanting of fanon couples. Dave's role in the story is much like that of Beardo in canon. He didn't really annoy his team THAT much, but he was unhelpful, and got singled out for it. No, I don't care for Zoke. While I'd be fine with letting Ezekiel make his sexist remarks if I was doing another season as a follow-up to this one, I'm not, and I needed a better arc for him. Aiden hasn't done much yet, but the season is still young.
"Last time, on Total Drama Island, our teams squared off in a good old-fashioned game of dodgeball. The Gophers grew increasingly sick of Amy, and Scarlett grew suspicious of Mike. In the end, the Moose took first place for a second time, while the Bass went to their first elimination. And after doing nothing for the entire challenge, it was Dakota who walked the Dock of Shame. Who will be next? Find out on Total. Drama. Island!"
(Theme song)
The episode opened with a shot of the treetops against the morning sky. The camera then panned down to the four cabins. The camera cut to inside the cabins, where the campers were all sleeping peacefully.
Suddenly, a siren played over the loudspeaker. "All right, campers!" Chris shouted over the loudspeaker. "Enough beauty sleep! Time to show us what you're made of!"
The scene skipped forward to behind the campers, facing the stage. "Welcome to our brand new, state-of-the-art outdoor amphitheater!" Chris announced. "This week's challenge is a summer camp favorite. A talent contest!"
Sugar perked up at this. "A talent contest? Finally! This is what I came here for!"
"You have eight hours to choose your three most talented team members," Chris continued. "These three will represent your team in the show tonight. Sing, dance, juggle, anything goes as long as it's legal." Duncan snapped his fingers at this last part, looking disappointed. Scott sneered at him.
Beth piped up. "Can we do acts with more than one person?"
"Good question, Beth. You get a cookie!" Chris tossed her a cookie, which she caught. "Yes, collaborations are allowed, but it might be easier not to do them, because if you do, you'll be expected to work together well."
"You'll be judged by our resident DJ and rap legend, Grand Master Chef," he continued, gesturing to Chef, "who will show his approval via the Chef-o-meter." A picture of a wooden spoon appeared at the top of the screen, with a picture of Chef in the bowl and a ten-sectioned meter on the handle. "As the winners of the last challenge, the Moose get three extra points. Lowest-scoring team sends someone home tonight!"
Suddenly, a hang glider flew down to the stage, and it was revealed that it was carrying Dakota. She crashed onto Sam by accident.
"Hey, Sam!" Dakota smiled as she unhooked herself from the glider and removed her pink helmet.
"Oh, hi Dakota," Sam answered with an awkward chuckle.
"Uh, excuse me," Chris said irritably, "you're out of the competition, remember?"
"Oh, I don't care about the money," Dakota answered. "Like I need it. I just want, umm, close-up, please?" The cameraman obliged her. "I just want camera time. People need to see my sparkly adorableness if I'm going to get my own spin-off reality series."
She winced suddenly, and the camera zoomed out to show that Chef had grabbed her by the arm. He lifted her up and took her over to the stage, where Chris waited. "You know how you walked down the Dock of Shame a couple episodes ago?" he told her. "That means you're done, for-ev-er."
"No, please, I'll do anything!" Dakota squealed.
"Listen, Princess, this is my show," he began, but his rant was interrupted by a sudden call on a cellphone he extracted from a pants pocket. "Huh?" he answered, smiling when he heard a voice on the other end. He cupped the mouthpiece and told the captive girl, "It's your daddy!"
Dakota smiled at this news. "Hello, Mr. Milton!" Chris answered. His eyes shot open and his grin enlarged. "How much money?" The camera zoomed out to show all three as the host ended the call and stowed away his phone. "You're back!" he told the blonde.
"Yes!" Dakota cheered, turning to the camera and smiling cutely. "Thanks, Daddy!"
"As an intern!" Chris finished happily.
"An intern?" the rich girl whined as Chef carried her off stage, "NOOOOOOO!"
"Hey, if you get settled in fast enough, you might be able to help with today's challenge!" Chris called after them with a laugh. "All right," he turned back to the largely shocked campers, "the rest of you can get started!"
As the campers were walking away from the stage, Alejandro glanced toward the Bass, and said loudly enough for them to hear, "This might be a hard challenge for us to win. I do not doubt our team's talent, but they have a pageant winner on their team. She clearly knows all about talent shows, and has likely won many herself."
Confessional: Alejandro
"In the little time I have spent with Sugar, I have come to the conclusion that she is extremely annoying. With her in charge of her team, she will likely annoy them to a great degree. If she messes up, she's as good as gone."
End confessional
Sugar grinned at this, and said to her team, "I think I should be in charge a' this challenge. Seein' as how I got the most experience, and all." Her teammates all shrugged, none of them wanting to contest her for the job.
Rodney walked up to Scarlett, and tried to say something. "Scarlett, I need to tell you something." She looked at him, and he began to sputter. "It's just, we, I mean, you and ice..."
Scott walked up to his cousin and pulled him away. "Sorry, he gets like this when he's nervous," he explained. "What is it this time," he asked Rodney resignedly.
"I'm trying to break up with Scarlett, so I can get with Courtney without being a cheater," Rodney explained.
"Did Scarlett ever say you were together?" Scott asked.
"No, but I felt our connection was so strong, we didn't have to say anything," Rodney answered sadly. "But now I fell for Courtney, so I guess our connection wasn't as strong as I thought."
"Let's wait until after the challenge, then we'll see what happens," Scott offered.
"You're right. We have to focus now," Rodney resolved. "I'll break up with her after the talent show." Scott nodded.
The scene shifted to the teams practicing in their own spaces. On the Badgers, Alejandro asked his teammates, "So, what are your talents, amigos?"
Katie and Sadie immediately piped up. "We can dance! Watch!"
They immediately began to do a sugary, high-energy dance routine, that looked like it would have been better if the two girls were wearing roller skates.
"We'll think about it," Justin said.
"Look into my eyes. What do you see?" Izzy was doing a dance, but Jo stopped her. "Not good enough. Next!"
Anne Maria walked in front of the others. "Just listen to me sing. Chef's sure ta give me a ten on the spot!" She began to sing, sounding like a dying cat.
"Demon!" Shawn shouted, and dumped a bottle of water on her.
"What's the big idea?" Anne Maria demanded, visibly upset.
"I thought you were being possessed by a demon, so I poured holy water on you," Shawn explained. Anne Maria sprayed him in the face with her hairspray.
Confessional: Shawn
"I'm not as big a believer in vampires as I am with zombies, but you never know. So I always keep holy water on hand. Now I need to make more."
End confessional
On the Moose team, Heather had just finished a ballet routine. Her teammates, except for Amy and Max, clapped.
"I think Heather should be in the contest!" Ella said. Max shrugged, while the others all voiced their agreement, except for Amy.
"Okay, who else wants to be in the show?" Heather asked.
B raised his hand. He walked over to where Heather had danced, holding a bucket of garbage. He then turned away from his team for a few moments, then turned back holding an object sculpted out of the trash. It was a to-scale model of Chris's head.
Ella voiced what many of the Gophers were thinking. "Wow! You're really talented, B!" B smiled.
Ella was the next to audition. She began to vocalize, about to burst into a proper song. Beardo imitated a beautiful piano line, and Ella switched the song she was singing, breaking out into a beautiful rendition of 'Clocks' by Coldplay. By the end of it, every member of the team agreed Ella and Beardo would be in the show. "I think we've found our three acts," Jasmine voiced.
Sugar had the Bass lined up, and she stood in front of them. "Okay...you!" she pointed at Sam, "What's your talent?"
"Well, I'm really good at video games. I could go for a high score or a speed run, but I'd need to ask Chris to give my Gameguy back." Sam responded.
Sugar was not impressed. "Video games? That ain't a talent. We need some real talents if we wanna impress Chef."
"What about your talent?" Scott asked, a bit snidely.
Sugar glared at Scott. "A real pageant queen don't show off her talent, not where the competition can see it. Besides, I know what I can do. This is about y'all tryin' ta impress me. Now what can you do, Scott?"
Scott shrugged and pulled a pocketknife out of his pocket. "I can whittle figurines of Chris and Chef."
"That'll take too long. How 'bout you, Tyler?"
Tyler pulled out a pair of Yo-yos, and tried to do tricks with them. He ended up getting tangled in the strings.
Confessional: Sugar
"My teammates have no talent."
End confessional
On the Moose, Owen was drinking a large bottle of soda. Once he had finished, he burped out, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZe-ed!"
Jo was not impressed. "No, you are not doing that in the show."
Lightning said, "Dude, do you even know how hard it is to burp the entire alphabet in one go?"
"I can also toot Beethoven's fifth," Owen offered, receiving a chorus of "No!"s from his teammates.
"What about you, Forehead?" Jo demanded.
"I shall recite my favorite Shakespeare oration," Noah offered.
"We'll get back to you on that," Jo said. "What about you, String Bean?"
"I can play the keyboard." Cody said. He brought out a keyboard, and played a song. His teammates were impressed.
Jo said to her team, "Okay, we have one of our acts. Who else?"
Back to the Badgers, Trent was finishing up his song. Everyone agreed Trent had to be in the show.
Justin strutted up to the others, wearing a sequined jacket and holding an object with a large spiral disc. "Come one, come all! Come see the great Justin LeClerc hypnosis act!"
Gwen frowned. "You're a hypnotist?"
Justin grinned. "Yup! I'll hypnotize someone!"
Alejandro said, "We'll think about it."
Bridgette offered, "I can stand on my hands for twenty minutes."
Alejandro thought for a moment, but shook his head. "I don't think that would impress Chef. What about you, Geoff?"
Geoff grinned. He grabbed a skateboard, rode it up and off a slanted rock, performed a kickflip, and landed.
On the Bass, Sugar was watching Courtney play the violin. She eventually said, "Okay, we don't look like we got a lotta options, so yer in. Anyone else? What about you, Mike?"
Mike flinched, but he said nervously, "I actually do have something I could do. I'm planning on being a Broadway actor, so I could do a Broadway song." He then began to sing beautifully:
"Sing once again with me,
Our strange duet
My power over you
Grows stronger yet
And though you turn from me,
To glance behind
The Phantom of the Opera is here,
Inside your mind."
"Yer in too, Mike. I'm prob'ly gonna win anyway, but you two'd make good warm-up acts." Sugar said, indicating Mike and Courtney.
On the Moose, Shawn was wrapping up a symphony comprised of armpit noises. Jo thought about it, but ultimately decided against.
Harold was the next to audition. He took a deep breath, and...
The scene cut to the Badgers, where Sky had concluded a ribbon dance. Her teammates all really liked it.
"Where'd you learn to do that so well?" Zoey asked.
"My older sister River went to the Olympics for rhythmic gymnastics. She's the reason I want to be an Olympian," Sky responded. Many of her teammates looked impressed by this.
"So, we are decided? Trent, Geoff, and Sky will perform for us?" Alejandro asked. Everyone nodded at this.
Heather walked up to Sammy, and sat next to her at the campfire pit. "Hey, I can't help but notice that your sister treats you really badly," she said.
"You don't know the half of it. She makes me do all of her work for her, she tries as hard as she can to make sure I have no friends, and she constantly calls me 'Samey,' even knowing I hate it." Sammy replied.
"What would you say if I could guarantee that she goes home as soon as we lose?"
"I don't know. Our team doesn't seem to like Amy that much, but I think Leonard or Max will probably be first out."
"Maybe, maybe not. But what if I could make sure?"
"Could you do that?"
"Maybe."
"Oh em gee, that would be amazing."
"Well, new friend, I might be able to do just that. Tell me, does Amy have a diary?"
"Yes. She does."
"Great. I need that. Where does she hide it?"
What neither of them saw was Aiden, who was listening in on their conversation.
Confessional: Sammy
"At first I thought Heather was just like Amy, or her friends back home. But maybe she's not that bad. Maybe she just has trouble making friends."
Confessional: Heather
"Getting rid of a camper I hate and making a new ally. This deal is a great move."
Confessional: Aiden
"Amy is arrogant, mediocre in challenges from what I've seen, and her team hates her. Getting rid of her? Not a great victory."
End confessional
Aiden then went to see Sugar, with a picture of shock and disgust on his face. "Sugar, can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Hey, you can talk too?" Sugar said, incredulous.
"Yes, I can talk. I just...don't like being the center of attention, so I don't talk much. Don't tell anyone, please."
"Okay, but what did ya want to talk about?"
Aiden hesitated, then began, "The Gophers are the only team aside from mine that haven't lost a challenge yet."
Sugar looked at him, interested. "What're you sayin'?"
"I want the Gophers to lose this challenge, and I don't know if your team can beat them. But maybe I can help you." Aiden added conspiratorially.
Sugar smiled evilly. "Go on..."
Confessional: Aiden
"I totally lied. In the end, teams are meaningless. If you want to get ahead in a game like this, you have to go after individuals. And Sugar, as imbecilic as she is, understands competitions like this better than most, and she does have skills that translate well to challenges. However, she has no humility or common sense, so tricking her is easy. As for the advice I gave her, I have no idea whether or not she'll take it, and it doesn't matter, as it isn't likely to help. The point is, now that someone has overheard her, she'll stop practicing, and her teammates can't tell stop her from going onstage."
End confessional
The scene cut to the Badgers waiting on the stage. Geoff asked Bridgette, "Can you really stand on your hands for twenty minutes?"
"Wanna bet that I can't?" Bridgette said, waving an unwrapped chocolate bar enticingly.
Geoff chuckled. "Oh, you're on."
Bridgette smirked. "Okay, ante up."
A few of the Badgers dropped change and sweets on a crate, then Bridgette fell onto a handstand. She stumbled backwards, got one of her legs caught in a rope, and knocked down a spotlight, which fell on Geoff's skateboard, breaking it.
Chris was walking up to the stage, and saw the light fall. He walked over to the Badgers, and angrily asked, "What is going on here?" He looked at the campers, and at the fallen light, and said, "I would be angry, but this gives me a great opportunity to have my new intern get to work." Dakota, having traded out her pink outfit for a red shirt and khakis, came up on stage and picked up the light fixture, with difficulty.
The Badgers looked at each other, and Gwen voiced what they were all thinking. "Now what?"
Alejandro spoke up. "I might be able to do something."
The scene cut to the start of the talent show. "Welcome to the TDI talent extravaganza!" Chris announced. "Tonight, thirteen campers will show their mad skills, and desperately try not to humiliate themselves! First up for the Moose, Noah!"
Noah stepped out onto the stage, wearing a toga. He began his oration:
"Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears
I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him
The evil that men do lives after them
The good is oft interred in their bones so let it be with Caesar. The noble Brutus
Hath told you Caesar was ambitious
If it were so, it was a grievous fault
And grievously hath Caesar answer'd it
Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest
For Brutus is an honorable man
So are they all, all honorable men
Come I to speak in Caesar's funeral
He was my friend, faithful and just to me
But Brutus says he was ambitious
And Brutus is an honorable man
My heart is in the coffin there with Caesar
And I must pause 'til it comes back to me."
Noah concluded his oration, and some of the campers clapped. Chef gave Noah a 6.
"A six. Not bad." Chris said.
"A six? Are you kidding me?" Noah said, indignant.
"Arguing won't increase your score. Sit down. Next up, from the Badgers, Trent!"
Trent walked onto the stage, guitar in hand. He smiled at Gwen, strummed his guitar, and said, "This one goes out to a special someone at camp." He began to sing.
"They say that we've only got summer
And I say that's really a bummer
But we'll swim in the sun and have lots of fun
It'll be the two of us, nothin' to do but hang
Let me say only this
Stick around for just one kiss."
"Nice work!" Chris said. "I like your style, and so does Chef! Eight points! Next up, for the Bass, Courtney!"
Courtney stood on the stage and began to play her violin. She played a classical piece, very tough to play, but also very dry. Some of the campers, such as Scarlett and Cameron, seemed engaged. Others, like Lightning and Sugar, seemed bored. When she finished, the host said, "Not bad. A little boring, but not bad. Chef?" The Chef-o-meter registered a six. "Six! Pretty good! Now, for the Gophers, Silent B!"
B stood on stage. Dakota walked up to him, and dumped out a garbage bag filled with branches, leaves, and food waste. B arranged it into a scale model of the island. The campers all were impressed, and the camera zoomed in on the model, but a gust of wind suddenly blew it over.
Chris sighed. "Well, it was nice while it lasted. Five points. Next up for the Moose, Cody!"
Cody played a dubstep song on his keyboard. A lot of the campers liked it, although some were not impressed. At the end, Chef gave him a six.
Confessional: Chef
"I ain't a huge fan of electronic music. I just don't really get it."
End confessional
"Next up, Sky, from the Badgers!"
Sky stood on stage, a bit nervous, but she performed. She did a graceful ribbon dance that enthralled most of the other campers. She received an 8.
The next camper to perform was Mike. He cleared his throat, and began to sing.
"He thinks that man is me He knew him at a glance!
That stranger he has found
This man could be my chance!
Why should I save his hide?
Why should I right this wrong
When I have come so far
And struggled for so long?
If I speak, I am condemned.
If I stay silent, I am damned!
I am the master of hundreds of workers.
They all look to me.
How can I abandon them?
How would they live
If I am not free?
If I speak, they are condemned.
If I stay silent, I am damned!
Who am I?
Can I condemn this man to slavery
Pretend I do not feel his agony
This innocent who bears my face
Who goes to judgement in my place
Who am I?
Can I conceal myself for evermore?
Pretend I'm not the man I was before?
And must my name until I die
Be no more than an alibi?
Must I lie?
How can I ever face my fellow men?
How can I ever face myself again?
My soul belongs to God, I know
I made that bargain long ago
He gave me hope when hope was gone
He gave me strength to journey on
Who am I? Who am I?
I am Jean Valjean!
And so Javert, you see it's true
That man bears no more guilt than you!
Who am I?
24601!"
Every note of the song was filled with anguish. Even Chef was crying at the end of it. He gave Mike a ten.
Confessional: Mike
"Les Miserables is my favorite Broadway show. The beautiful story about redemption and mercy versus legalism...excuse me while I cry for a moment."
Confessional: Chef
The confessional showed Chef crying loudly.
Confessional: Sugar
"Mike got a ten? Well, I'm sure ta get a ten too. They might as well give us the win now."
End confessional
The second Gopher to perform was Heather, who walked onto the stage holding a book. She sat down on a chair and said, "I was originally going to dance for you. But instead, I'm bringing you a collaboration. Words by Amy, performance by Heather." She held up Amy's diary, and the color drained out of Amy's face.
Confessional: Amy
"Oh sh—"
End confessional
Heather began to read. "'I absolutely hate my team. I mean, Samey's a loser, but most of our other teammates seem to have been picked to make her look good by comparison! I mean, Brick and 'Jasmine the Giant' aren't that awful, but they've made friends with Samey, so they clearly have no standards. Duncan? He's a stupid punk wannabe who acts like a twelve-year old.'" The camera showed the Gophers getting angry at Amy as their descriptions were read. "'Heather is clearly trying way too hard to be as much of a queen as I am, but the effect is kind of ruined by the fact that she hangs out with ugly, awkward Beth, fat, grubby, wimpy Beardo, and Ella, the delusional seven-year-old in a teenager's body. Or, well, one of them. We have three. Leonard seems to think he's a wizard, which he obviously isn't. And Max only talks about how evil he is, when the most evil thing he's likely to do is ignore a "Keep off the grass" sign.'" At this, Max jumped up, pointed at Amy, and shouted, "How dare you question my e-vil?"
Heather continued reading, "'B never talks. Why does he never talk? Does he have something to hide? It wouldn't surprise me. Or maybe he just doesn't talk because he knows he's a loser and doesn't want to embarrass himself even more. And he hangs around Dawn, who is quite possibly the freakiest out of all of these freaks. She claims to be able to read auras or something like that, and I'm not surprised B is her only friend. After all, could you trust someone who knows more about you than you know about yourself just by looking at you?'" Heather closed the diary.
Then, something unexpected happened. Dawn started crying profusely. B hugged her, glaring daggers at Amy. The look of mortal terror on Amy's face somehow got even more terrified.
Confessional: Dawn
"I know a lot of people think that same thing, *sob*, but it hurts to actually hear it."
Confessional: Brick
"I don't approve of reading someone else's diary. But making a teammate cry like that? Unacceptable. Amy has to go."
Confessional: Heather
"I didn't have to do that. I'm sure Amy would have been voted out as soon as we lost anyway. But this way, I earn Samey's trust and I get to watch Amy squirm."
End confessional
Chris stood on stage, eyes wide. "Well, somehow that performance got three points from Chef. Anyway, hopefully this will improve everyone's mood. For the Moose, it's Harold!"
Harold entered the stage, and began to beatbox. In fact, he beatboxed amazingly well, leading to everyone cheering for him.
"And Chef gives that performance a nine! Next up, for the Badgers, Alejandro!"
Alejandro stood on stage, holding three oranges. He said to the audience, "Tonight I shall juggle for you. If you have any items to add, please do so. I wish this to be a challenge, after all." He then began to juggle the oranges, as well as several items thrown at him by the audience, including a pack of peanuts from Shawn, a baton from Beth, one of Noah's books from Izzy (which prompted a "Hey!" from the bookworm), a wrench from B, a small dumbbell from Eva or Jo (could have been either), a can of hairspray from Anne Maria, and various other odds and ends.
Chris asked, "Anything, you say?" He looked maliciously at Dakota, who asked, "What? Do I have something on my face?"
The camera cut back to Alejandro, showing Dakota being tossed to Alejandro, who managed to catch her, though he dropped two of the items he was juggling. He tossed her into the air, caught the other items, and dropped them gently to the floor, then caught Dakota again. "My sincerest apologies," he said, close enough to her to make her blush. "I hope you are not hurt."
"Oh no, I'm fine," Dakota stammered as she let go. The camera cut to Sam, who was scowling.
Confessional: Sam
"Who does he think he is, treating Dakota like that? Chris, I mean. Although I didn't really like seeing Alejandro flirting with her either."
End confessional
"Sorry, I just couldn't help myself," Chris chuckled as he walked back onto the stage. "Anyway, seems like Chef enjoyed that act too! Nine points! Next up, from the Bass, it's Sugar!"
However, it was not Sugar who took the stage next, but Dakota, holding a long piece of paper. "Umm...hold on. She's a...genu-wine? Angel, who's come to earth to...shave us?'"
"Save us!" Sugar called from backstage.
"Uh...okay. From our boring, un-glitzy..."
"Skip the intro!" Chris said, angrily.
"Fine, she wasn't doin' it right anyway," Sugar said, walking onto the stage, wearing ugly pink pants and a matching hat, with a gold cowbell around her neck. She shoved Dakota off the stage, and began speaking. "Dear fans, you know me as Sugar. But my farmies on the farm call me Sugar Silo! The only artist to ever combine country and rap! I call it, craptry!" She snapped her fingers, and a cheap crunk-style beat began to play.
"Sugar Silo, I'm wicked sweet!
I tap it when I rap it with a tasty beat!
I don't like milk from a Jersey cow,
I'm the queen of craptry, you all should bow! Sugar holla!
Sugar Silo go, dosey do!
Sugar Silo here to win the dough! Sugar holla!
Like a talking horse, the truth I speak,
I'll beat mister juggle and the beatbox freak!
Am I trippin'? No way! I'm bein' for real!
I'm here to win this five million buck deal!
Sugar hollaaaaaaaaaa!"
The final high note caused everyone to clutch their ears in pain. Sugar then attempted to dive into the crowd, but they didn't catch her. She landed on Aiden, who was squashed underneath her bulk.
Chef was the first to speak. "I have never heard a bigger insult to either country or rap in my entire life! No points for you! Never, ever do that again!"
Chris took a moment to regain his composure, then said, "Well, we have one act left. Beardo and Ella need at least nine points to avoid elimination. Either way, it shouldn't be too hard to tell who's on the chopping block for tonight. Hint: It's not Mike, B, or Courtney. Probably not Heather, Beardo, or Ella either. But just so we know, let's give it up for Beardo and Ella!"
The two teens walked onto the stage, and Beardo began creating an energetic, fun pop-rock instrumental. Ella then began to sing:
"Dear mom and dad, I'm doing fine,
You guys are on my mind
You asked me what I wanted to be
And I think the answer's clear to see
I wanna be famous!
I wanna live close to the sun
Pack your bags, 'cause I've already won
Everything to prove, nothing in my way
I'll get there one da-ay!
'Cause I wanna be famous!
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous!
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous!"
Chris asked Ella, "Did you make up the lyrics to that song?"
Ella shook her head. "Beardo did, mostly. He said we should write something 'in the spirit of Total Drama.' I wasn't sure about them, but he said you would like it."
Chris nodded. "I do! How much for us to use it as the theme song for the show?"
Beardo thought for a moment, then said, "A thousand dollars for each of us, a real dinner for my team, and ten points."
Chris shook his hand. "Deal!"
The Bass groaned, knowing this meant they had lost again.
Confessional: Aiden
"Aside from getting squashed by three hundred pounds of lard, I'd say that went pretty well." He then hunched over, hands to his spine. "Oww! My back!"
Later, at the campfire ceremony, Chris was holding a plate with eleven marshmallows. "Kudos to you all for a night of great entertainment!" Chris said. "I have eleven marshmallows on my plate. Mike, with a perfect ten for your act, you are safe." He tossed Mike one of the two marshmallows. "Also safe with no votes are Scott, Rodney, DJ, Scarlett, Lindsay, Courtney, Ezekiel, Tyler, and Sam."
"Sugar, your act was a disaster, and you lost for your team, who really needed you to live up to your own hype. Topher...Sugar's a sore loser. You get the last marshmallow."
Sugar stood up. "Competition should not be based on points! Instead it should be based on yer general awesomeness, which means I should still be in the game!"
"Yeah, no one cares, Sugar," Chris said dismissively.
Chef escorted the tearful pageant queen to the boat waiting for her, and Chris looked at the eleven remaining Bass. Before he could speak, Topher asked, "Can I do the closing statement this time?"
Chris shrugged. "I guess. If you want to."
Topher stood next to Chris, and said ominously, "The rest of us are safe. For tonight."
Reasons for elimination: My goal here is to have every elimination be the one that makes the most sense in-universe, and there was simply no way Sugar does not screw her team over in this episode. Sugar isn't a bad villain, or at least she doesn't have to be, but I have enough villains in this story. I suppose I could have saved her if I reshuffled the teams a bit, but I needed Sammy to stand up to Amy before Amy gets eliminated.
Thoughts on Sugar in canon? I think she's overhated, but I also think her team gave her nothing to work with. If she had another villain to bounce off of, or a team more conductive to drama, she'd be less obnoxious and more of a threat.
I realize Aiden didn't really do much, and that's kind of the point. The point of his inclusion was to establish that he thinks he's a big threat, but he really isn't. If you don't like him, that's good. Soon enough, he'll pick a fight he can't win.
I was having trouble thinking of lyrics for Ella and Beardo's song (which is probably going to be a consistent problem with my portrayal of Ella), when I had the idea of having them be the ones behind the show's theme song. I thought it was a cute idea.
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Elimination order:
52: Dave, the Germaphobe
51: Staci, the Compulsive Liar
50: Dakota, the Fame-Monger
49: Sugar, the Pageant Queen
