Well, Everything's Changed

"Did you want to make something for dinner, Dee?" Kevin asked as they entered Edd's house. Edd gave him a confused glance as he shut the door behind them.

"Dinner, Kevin?"

"Yeah. You know. The meal you eat at the end of the day," Kevin teased.

Edd rolled his eyes and smiled. "Yes, I am quite aware of what 'dinner' is. I am merely inquiring because it is Friday night."

"Well, yeah, Dee. But I thought…" he shrugged, letting it trail off.

"What do you think?" Edd asked, toeing off his shoes and nudging them into their proper place next to the door. Kevin did the same.

"I think we should be together," Kevin said, following Edd further into the living room, stopping only when the boy halted and turned to him. "I want to make sure you're not mad at me anymore."

Edd put his hands on Kevin's forearms and smiled up at him with a fond expression. "I have not been mad at you. I have been mad and disappointed in myself. I have felt a fair amount of guilt. No," he said, stopping Kevin's attempt at a protest. "I have. I know you will say it means we should talk more tonight, and normally I would agree. However, I would rather stick to our normal Friday night activities. This is not me attempting to avoid the discussion. This is me attempting to normalize myself by doing our routine. I need this tonight. I need the Eds. I need their distraction."

"But, Dee…"

"No, please understand, Kevin. I have gone through an enormous change this week. You know change makes me uncomfortable. I am not unhappy at the circumstance, but it still is a change. Sticking to the one normal thing, even something as mundane and commonplace as watching movies with my friends, will help me a great deal mentally. I do not want you to think you are not a comfort to me. You are. In a way no one else can be. The Eds are too. Please understand I need this. And, I think, you need this too. Your friends bring a certain level of comfort to you, do they not? You enjoy your Friday nights with them as much as I enjoy my Friday nights with the Eds."

Kevin did understand why Edd needed to be with his friends. He knew how much Eddy and Ed meant to him and how close the three were. Edd was right, he did not handle a lot of change well, and if doing something normal would help, Kevin would go along with it. "I get it, sweetheart. I just don't want to be away from you right now."

"Nor I you," Edd rubbed small circles on Kevin's arms. "I love you so much, Kevin."

Kevin smiled. "I love you just as much, Dee." His hands found their way to Edd's hips and pulled his little boyfriend closer. "I'm just going to miss you tonight."

"I always miss you when you are not with me, Kevin, but I also know it is healthy for us to have some things for ourselves. We shall have a normal Friday night, each of us."

Kevin responded by leaning down and kissing him. No quick peck, but a full-out deep kiss that had Edd's fingers clutching him tightly. Edd's hands slid up Kevin's arms as he stood on tiptoe to wrap his arms around Kevin's neck. Kevin, in turn, picked him up as he licked into Edd's mouth. "God, Dee. Now I really don't want to leave."

Edd giggled, tucking his chin onto Kevin's shoulder after a quick kiss to Kevin's neck. "I am sorry, Kevin, but you did kiss me."

The front door opened and they both turned their heads toward it. Edd was still up in Kevin's arms; his legs had lifted to wrap around Kevin's hips, which is how Eddy and Ed found them.

"Oh, Jesus, Double D," Eddy growled. "Can't you do that stuff up in your room?"

"We are merely kissing, Eddy. I am sure you do not only kiss Nazz in your room?" Edd retorted, surprising Kevin.

Eddy snorted. "Nah, course not."

Ed laughed. "He was kissing Nazz on her front porch a minute ago."

"Nice," Eddy said. "You sticking around with us, Kev? Or going out with the guys?"

"Dee's kicking me out," Kevin said, ignoring Edd's protest. "So I'm going to meet my friends. I hope they show up."

"You know Jake will," Eddy said.

"Yeah. I hope Ben and Joel will, too. Not really sure what they think about all this."

"They didn't seem to be too put out about it at lunch today. I mean, they did come and sit with us, right?" Eddy asked.

"Yeah, but still. We'll see. Okay, sweetheart," he said, turning and tilting his head back a little to look at Edd. "I'm gonna take off. Have fun tonight."

"I shall. You have fun, too," Edd said, giving Kevin another kiss before Kevin set him gently on the floor.

"Love you!"

"I love you!"


Kevin turned into the parking lot, avoiding the large crack along the edge of the entrance. The crack had been there as long as he could remember – one of those deep cracks, crumbling along the edge and growing every year. He had no idea why the diner didn't bother to repair it.

He pulled into one of the spots and turned off his bike. He saw Jake's jeep when he glanced around the nearly empty lot, but he knew Jake would show up. He didn't see any other vehicles he recognized, but likely Joel would have ridden in with Jake. They lived a block from each other. Ben lived close enough to the diner to walk.

The windows of the ancient diner were cloudy, covered in years of grease and outdated posters and signs, so he couldn't see inside and check if Joel and Ben were there, sitting in their usual booth with Jake. Kevin worried the two wouldn't show, and the thought depressed him. Everything seemed fine at lunch. The group joked around and teased each other as normal. Ben and Joel wouldn't have shown up if they didn't want to be Kevin's friend anymore, would they? It's not like the two popular boys wouldn't have been welcome at any of the other tables.

He thought about what Nazz had said the other day – about how Edd knew Kevin better than Kevin knew himself. She was right. Until this moment, he hadn't realized how important it was to see the faces of his friends when he walked in. It would hurt a lot if they weren't there, so Kevin gained another level of understanding why Edd had been so anxious about coming out. He slowly pulled off his helmet, reminding himself that both Joel and Ben were good guys and had never given him a reason to think they'd had any negative thoughts about gays or anything.

He crossed the lot and pushed open the door, the bell ringing as he walked through. Hoping he didn't look as anxious as he felt, his eyes darted immediately to their booth. A wave of relief engulfed him as the three pairs of eyes of his friends turned to look at him.

Kevin had a quick and panicked thought that maybe Ben and Joel came thinking Kevin wouldn't be here. Shit, why did he think that? He lifted his hand and walked to the table, pausing hesitantly before seating himself. Jake had slid over to give him room, but Kevin shifted from one foot to the other, reached up to rub at the back of his neck, and said, "Hey guys. Mind if I join you?"

Their welcome greetings died on their lips. Ben and Joel looked at each other, then back to Kevin. "Why would we mind, Kev?" asked Ben in his calm voice.

Kevin shrugged. "I-I guess. I don't know. Didn't know if I'd be welcome or anything."

"Sit your ass down, drama queen," Jake scoffed.

Kevin laughed, though a little nervously. "Okay, okay," he said, sliding into the vacant seat next to Jake and across from Joel. Margie, who had probably waited tables at the diner since it opened in the fifties, came over to their table.

"Whatcha want boys?"

"You waited for me?" Kevin asked.

"Yeah. I mean, we ordered drinks," Jake said, poking at his pop with a finger. "But figured we'd wait for you for the food."

"Thanks…"

Margie took the other boys' orders while Kevin looked at the menu. Jake finally took it away from him as Margie started bristling. "You get the same thing every damn week, Kev. Just order it."

He shot a mock-glare at Jake. "Yeah, yeah. Sure. Cheeseburger and onion rings."

Margie shuffled off to put in their order.

"Onion rings?" Jake said, resting his elbows on the sticky table and looking at Kevin with a sly smile. "You're really taking onion breath home to Edd?"

Kevin was definitely not used to being teased about Edd and he felt a blush crawl up his cheeks. "No," he said, abashed. "The Eds are spending the night at his house." Margie brought him his drink and he thanked her with a flirty wink. All four boys loved flirting with the abrasive waitress. She appeared to be a harsh and brittle person, but she spoiled the boys, so they kept flirting with her.

"Really?"

"Yeah. It's their thing on Fridays," Kevin answered. He finally looked at Joel and Ben across from him. "You guys don't know how happy I am you're here."

Joel blinked a few times. "Are you really surprised we are?"

Kevin nodded. "I mean…" he hedged, his fingers playing with the wrapper he'd pulled off his straw. "I know you guys aren't dicks. But it can happen, you know. Losing friends."

"Well, I'm not a dick," Ben said, pressing his palm against his chest. "Joel is, but not about stuff like this."

"Hey!" Joel protested among their laughs.

The teasing made Kevin feel better. "I know. But yeah. I was worried about it. Edd was, too."

"Nothing's changed, Kev," Jake said.

"Well, everything's changed," Kevin countered, but with a slight smile. "And I know people can get uncomfortable with it."

"You're still Kevin, aren't you?" Ben asked.

"Yeah."

"Well, then there's nothing changed," Joel said, his forearms resting on the table. "Just you like dick."

"Dude!" Jake exclaimed.

"I won't lie," Ben said, shooting a look at his best friend next to him, "it is a surprise. But we wouldn't stop being your friend cause of this."

"Thanks," Kevin said, striving to control his voice from choking. Edd really did understand him. "I was worried most about losing you three. I don't really care about the others."

"Aw," Joel teased, "you do care about us!"

"Fuck you," Kevin shot him with a grin.

"You wish," Joel shot back. A strange expression crossed his face. "Man, that takes on a whole new meaning now, doesn't it?" He narrowed his eyes, peering at Kevin. "You never wanted to, did you?"

"What?"

"Fuck me."

"Hell, no!"

Joel sat back, pressing his back against the booth seat. "Well, you don't have to be fucking mean about it. I'm a good catch."

"And straight as fuck," Jake put in.

Joel held up an index finger. "You got me there."

"First, I wouldn't chase after any straight guy. I don't need that drama. Second, I didn't even know I was until I fell for Edd. Third, I've got the perfect man, why would I look at you?"

"Nice."

"Wait, you didn't know you were…" Ben hesitated.

"Gay?" Kevin supplied.

"Gay. Sorry. I don't want to offend you or anything."

"Ben, you've known me almost five years. Does anything offend me?" Kevin asked.

Ben laughed, his dark eyes crinkling at the edges. "Okay, yeah. Gay. You didn't know until Edd?"

Kevin shook his head. "No. I mean, I knew I never really liked going out with the girls I went out with, but I didn't think much of it." He shrugged. "I guess I thought I didn't like that girl, not that I didn't like girls at all. And no guy…" Kevin added, grinning at Joel, "caught my attention either."

"That's weird. I mean, I knew I always liked girls," Joel said, ignoring the laughs at his expense.

Margie returned to their table, plunking their plates one after the other in front of each boy. She left them with a grunt and Jake and Joel exchanged their plates. Margie usually mixed up the two boys, though they looked nothing alike.

"I don't know, man," Kevin said. Jake handed him the ketchup bottle. "Nazz said it happens. She volunteers for some LGBTQ youth groups. Some people don't realize, or they suppress it, until they're in their forties and fifties or more."

"Fuck. Imagine waking up one morning next to your wife and realizing you want dick instead of her," Joel mused.

"I guess, most kinda know deep down. But, because of family pressure or stuff, they end up marrying and having families. All the while knowing they want something else. It's kinda sad. I'm glad I realized."

A silence fell as the boys, hungry from their hard practice, attacked their dinners. It didn't take long for the plates to be cleared of all but stray fries or onion rings.

"How long have you guys been together, Kev?" Ben asked suddenly. They had all leaned back against the booth seats, their bellies comfortably full for the moment.

"Since November."

"Fucking kidding me?" Joel said. "November? That's like…uhh…"

"We just had our five month anniversary," Kevin supplied. "Actually," he said, wincing a little, "we came out on our five month."

"Dude, you did that on an anniversary? Fuck," Jake said. "I had no idea."

"Yeah. My timing was pretty bad, huh?"

"The worst."

"Mm. Edd reminded me during our fight, so believe me, I know."

"You guys got in a fight?" Ben asked, his brow creasing.

Kevin gazed at him. Of the four of them, Ben was the most even-headed and calm. It surprised many that he and Joel, a chaotic mess at times, were best of friends. Kevin thought their friend dynamic worked great. Calm and steady Ben kept wild and chaotic Joel in check, while Joel kept Ben from being too much of a stick-in-the-mud. "Yeah. We've been fighting all week."

"All week?" asked Jake. "I thought it was just the day you guys came out."

"Nope. I wish. We fought the day before, but at least that was a small one and I thought we made up. I guess not, because I didn't know he was still upset the next day. That was part of why what happened, happened." Kevin turned to look at Jake. "He was mad cause I told him you knew. He was afraid you'd spread it at school."

Jake frowned, "Kevin…"

"I know. I told him that's not the type of person you are, but he couldn't help thinking it. He's been paranoid about it from the beginning. So we got in a little argument. Then Wednesday. We fought when I took him home. And we fought yesterday." He reached up to rub at his face. "I guess we were overdue? I don't know. We haven't fought this whole five months. Irritated with each other, yeah, but no fighting. I didn't know how to handle it."

"Then why are you here?" Jake asked pointedly. "Here and not home talking it out with him?"

"The Eds are there."

"So? Kick them out?"

Kevin chuckled. "No, I can't. Edd was the one to kick me out. In a good way," he added, holding up his hand. "I totally get it, so I'm not upset. We talked a lot yesterday. We're good."

"Still…"

"No, I get it," Kevin insisted. "Look, the Eds have done this every Friday since they were kids. Get together at one of their houses and they watch bad movies. When I told him we really should be together tonight, he said no. Edd's a creature of habit," he explained. "He gets real anxious when things change or his routine is interrupted. To be fair, we went through some pretty big changes this week, so I get that he needs to stick to something normal. He thought it would be good for me to be with you guys, too. And I gotta admit he wasn't wrong. This has helped me feel so much better."

"Aw, you big softie," Joel teased.

"It's the gay in me," Kevin joked, holding up his hands.

"So, speaking of that," Joel said, leaning forward. "As the only gay guy I know, I'm curious about some things. I have questions."

Kevin wasn't sure what he was getting at. "O…kay…" he responded uneasily. He glanced at Jake, who returned his look with an amused expression. Kevin could see Ben cross his arms, one hand lifted to press his forehead in an exasperated gesture.

"You know how he is," Jake shrugged. "You're taking your life into your own hands if you answer his questions."

"You're curious?" Kevin directed to Joel with a smirk. "Planning on joining our team?"

"No!" Joel exclaimed over the barks of laughter from Ben and Jake. "I mean, not that it's bad to be on your team, but I like girls too much!"

"Okay. So you're curious about…"

"I just have questions about the mechanics of things, that's all," Joel said, pouting a bit. "That's all."

Kevin looked at Jake again as Ben shook his head. Jake shrugged again. "It's your funeral. Just remember Edd'll kill you if he finds out."

"Here's the deal," Kevin said. "I'll answer you within reason. Anything I think would piss Edd off I won't answer."

"Sweet!"

"This should be good," Jake commented.

"You guys have done it, right?" was the first question.

"Joel, Kevin told us they've been together five months. What do you think?" Ben asked.

"I don't know!" Joel exclaimed, leaning back in his seat and throwing his hands up dramatically. "Not everybody sleeps around!"

Jake and Kevin started laughing. "Yes, Joel. We've done it."

"Seriously, dude?" Joel said leaning forward again. "So like. How do you guys do it? Do guys really do it, you know…" he paused then lowered his voice, "…in the ass?"

Jake groaned and Ben made a strangled sound. "Buddy you just don't ask that!" he cried in a voice that was loud for Ben.

"I'm curious! Seriously! I mean I've heard that, but I don't know. It sounds…weird, I guess."

Kevin spread his hands. "There's only so many places to put your dick into another guy."

"Kev!" Jake exclaimed.

"Well, there is!"

"You don't think it's gross?" Joel asked.

Kevin shook his head. "Obviously not. We keep things pretty clean down there, so it's never gross."

"But you shit from there!"

"Not while we're doing it!"

"But isn't it there? Like inside?"

Kevin rolled his eyes, ignoring the snickers from Jake and the way Ben put his elbows on the table to hide his face with his hands. "No. Dude, you gotta pay more attention in biology. We don't do it if one of feels like we have to go. It's never been an issue."

Joel was quiet for a minute and Kevin watched him. He was amused because he knew how his friend was. He was always the most descriptive of them when talking about his exploits. Jake and Ben were respectful to their girlfriends and while they did talk about the things they did with the girls, it wasn't nearly as colorful as Joel liked to talk. Kevin was used to him and didn't mind talking about his sex life. It was something that made him happy and now he was finally able to talk about it. He knew Edd would probably be incredibly embarrassed he was sharing these intimate secrets but Kevin also knew Edd had told Eddy lurid details of their lovemaking, so the guilt wasn't as strong as it could have been.

"What about blowjobs?" Joel asked.

That got another groan from Ben. "I love them," Kevin answered.

"Well, yeah, who doesn't love them?" Jake said.

"So Edd does that to you?" Joel leaned closer to whisper the question.

"When I'm not giving them to him."

"No way! You blow him?"

"Of course. It's kind of rude to not return the favor."

"Fuck…"

"And I love it."

"You're kidding."

"Probably more than getting them. You have no idea how awesome it feels to make someone fall apart."

Joel held up both hands. "Hey! My girls are always satisfied!"

"So's my boyfriend!" Kevin laughingly retorted.

Kevin didn't go too much more into detail about his and Edd's sex life. Joel seemed satisfied at his answers, and their conversation turned to the other boys begging Kevin to tell how he and Edd got together – a story Kevin was more than happy to tell. It was the first time he'd gotten to talk about it, and it made him so happy; sitting with friends, the remains of their dinner growing cold on their plates, laughing about everything. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary with them - they talked and laughed and teased each other as they did every time they were together. Only Kevin now felt free to truly be himself, with the knowledge that his friends still saw him as a friend. It was probably the happiest couple of hours he'd spent in their company. An assurance that, to them, he was still Kevin and the fact that they accepted his sexuality without blinking an eye relieved him.

As he talked, he marveled again in his head at how well Edd knew him. The happiness he felt sitting with these three friends emphasized how shitty he would feel if they had turned on him. He would be hurt more than he realized; he knew it now. He was so thankful he didn't have to worry about it anymore, and another unknown weight lifted off his shoulders never to return.


Author's Note: You can also find me on AO3 (devoosha), Twitter (devoosha), and Tumblr (devooshawrites)