Ancient and Powerful Magics are complicated…

Hey! Another chapter! This was originally supposed to be a one-shot, but I changed my mind as I was writing and decided to stop right where I was last time. Get ready for some more Death Eater Highjinks and Voldemort OOCness. Also, Does Merlin have a sense of Humor? Let's find out!

Edit: Sigh. I suppose I'll throw this one down as a freebie chapter...but no more!

Chap 2: The First Misdirection

Already happened, back in Merlin's time…

"Hmmm…." Merlin sat at his worktable, bored to heck. "Gyah! There's nothing to do!"

A random servant who had been passing by his quarters peeked in. "Sir, the new manuscripts have arrived by messenger. He's downstairs."

"Alright, alright, I'll be right there." Merlin sighed and started to get up when a thought hit him suddenly. 'Heeey….I'm already a legend, right? So future generations will drink up anything I write without asking any questions…heh heh heh …'

Sitting back down, He dipped his quill in the inkwell and began writing furiously, forgetting about the messenger. 'Heh, an ancient ritual for immortality should really mess them up…although, they should get some sort of result… perhaps….yes, it shall be a ritual with the end effect of turning their hair bright pink permanently….and, of course, it can only be done once.' Cackling evilly, Merlin continued writing for a week before he finished.

Meanwhile, in our story…

Voldemort sighed as he stalked the halls looking for Macnair. He didn't even notice the new recruits who literally pissed themselves or the startled looks of his inner circle when he passed. "DAMMIT, MACNAIR, I WANT TO SEE YOU IN MY QUARTERS! NOW, DAMMIT!"

Stalking back to his throne room, Voldemort glanced over at Lucius, who was hopping on one foot, rubbing his head and patting his stomach while saying something in Latin. Voldemort's eyebrow lifted for just a moment. "What are you doing, Malfoy?"

Lucius kept hopping and speaking in Latin, but Voldemort caught a stray thought. 'I can't believe I'm subjecting myself to this humiliation! At least Lord Voldemort will finally have immortality if Merlin's ritual is correct.'

Vodemort smirked and sat down at his throne to watch Malfoy make a fool of himself.

At that moment, Macnair burst into the chamber. "My Lord! I have news!"

Voldemort's eye twitched as he hissed at Macnair. "You're late. CRUCIO!" The thin red beam of light connecting to Macnair didn't stop for a full minute as he thrashed about on the floor in agonizing pain. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity to Macnair, Voldemort stopped the spell. "Well? What news do you have."

Macnair bowed shakily as he relayed his message. "My Lord, the Lestranges have found one of the components for this ritual. They are currently looking for the last of the elements and hope to return before next Wednesday."

Voldemort smiled maniacally. "Gooooooood. I shall have my immortality by this time next Wednesday, then."

Malfoy, who had just finished his humiliating part of the Ritual, looked up while panting and sweating, not being used to long bouts of physical endurance. "Actually, my Lord, this is only the prep work. The actual ritual won't be finished until Midsummer's Eve, which is the Friday after next."

Vodemort spun towards Malfoy, seething with fury. "WHAAAAAT!" Still not able to punish Malfoy, Voldemort turned towards Macnair again. "CRUCIO!" The resulting screams of pain resounded throughout the Mansion.

End Chapter

Hey, I got another chapter out! Fear my writer power! picks up a random broom lying around I am Sweeper, Master of the broom! Fear me and REVIEW, DAMMIT! This is a relatively short chapter, so I won't blame any of you if you don't particularly feel the need to write a review. But no next chapter until I get at least 5 non-flaming reviews!