Title: Wash Away Part Six

July, 06

Sara stepped back and surveyed the job she had done with the spare room. She had decided on a pale teal color so that she could paint soft white clouds, various birds, and anything else she decided on at a later time. She rubbed her belly and felt the baby push back at her hand. With a smile, she patted the protruding hand, foot, whatever part was pressing against her belly and said in a soothing tone.

"Not much longer."

In fact, she was growing anxious with the waiting game. She felt as big as a house. The doctor had even told her to watch what she ate, and she had protested that she only ate the healthy items he had suggested on her first visit. His skeptical look made her so angry she had phoned her own doctor back in Vegas to ask her for advice.

"Have you had an ultrasound lately, Sara?" Dr. Wallace had asked in concern, adding. "And have they done bloodwork?"

The questions made Sara antsy and she found herself wondering if she should have stayed in Vegas, at least until the baby was born.

"They only did one ultrasound, and that was at week twenty. They couldn't tell me the gender, but said that everything appeared to be okay."

Sara bit her lip, never had she felt so inept as she did when it came to preparing to be a parent and take responsibility for another life. To some extent, she admitted to herself that she had been, to some degree, still in denial. She painted the room, ordered a crib and other items online, but she had allowed the doctors to provide all of her information.

"I've been so busy writing this crime novel that I haven't been reading up on what I should be expecting." Sara felt the quilt creep into her voice and shuddered.

She vowed to go to the store and buy every pregnancy book she could find and she did that as soon as she finished her conversation with Dr. Wallace.

One of the things she did not want to do was be one of those patients who thought that they knew more than the doctor, but several chapters in, and Sara began to have more and more questions and doubts. She was twenty eight weeks and wondered if she should change OBGyns at this point. She wondered if another doctor would pick up her case after so long, and then thought why would they refuse?

She was reaching to pick up the phone when a shrill ring cut through her thoughts and she jumped back. She stared at the phone like it had grown tentacles before laughing at herself and reaching out to pick it up. It was probably Warrick, or Nick. They were the only ones who ever called her, Warrick more so since he had guessed her condition.

"Sidle." She stated, picking up the receiver with a chuckle in her voice.

She had not bothered to read the caller ID, and instantly regretted the decision when she heard the silence on the other end of the line. It was one of those things that you know instinctively, a small charge of electricity that ran along the wire and miles to ignite in her ear and explode in her brain.

"Grissom." Sara said when she could hear her own voice. "Who gave you this number? Warrick or Nick?"

"Does it matter?" Grissom sighed on the other end of the phone. "I'm sorry, Sara, that didn't come out right. It's good to hear your voice again."

"Why are you calling me, Grissom? Did you get the email that I was doing fine without you, pulling my life into some semblance of order that didn't revolve around you and so you had to inject yourself into my world?"

Grissom rubbed his beard in a restless manner. "When did you start despising me, Sara?"

She heard the hurt in his voice and resisted the urge to reach out over the line and reassure him. "I suppose it's easier to stay angry with you, Grissom, than accept the inevitable and pretend I'm okay with your feelings."

There was silence for several minutes when Sara felt a pain so sharp in her left side she could not help but gasp.

"What's wrong? Sara?" Grissom gripped the phone in his white knuckles and stood up from his office chair, his gaze locked on the picture of Sara on the roller coaster.

"Nothing, Grissom, it's nothing." The pain had subsided, but Sara felt uncomfortable. "I ran into something and it hurt for a minute."

She refused to tell him the truth, she would never trap him into a situation she knew he did not want. "Listen, I would say that I'm glad you called, but I'm busy, so take care. I need to go, now. Bye Grissom."

As another pain ran along her side, she hit the dial tone and redialed, this time 911.

TBC