Ancient and Powerful Magicks are Complicated…
Oh, damn! Voldemort is getting kind of impatient. I guess that's what happens when your flunkies are incompetent and afraid of each and every one of your mood changes. Anyways, Onwards! And for this chapter, I shall be focusing on the Lestranges' search for the exotic ingredients...of sorts. OOCed!
Chap 3: Castle Crumplehein.
"Merlin damn it all!" Bellatrix swore as she cradled her broken arm.
Two other faces looked out over the edge of the cliff and grimaced. "Sorry 'bout that, Bella." Rudolphus yelled.
"How were we to know there was a cliff behind those bushes?" shouted Romulus (can't remember for the life of me if that was his name).
Bellatrix sighed and fixed her arm with a healing spell. Then she thought of something and grinned maliciously. "Reducto!"
The red beam of the curse shot towards the Lestrange brothers, whose faces blanched. "Oh crap," They said in unison right before the curse shattered the cliff face below them. No longer having a ledge to stand on, they both hung in the air quite comically before falling that 20 meters to the ground. Rudolphus, being slightly more athletic than his brother, managed to land on his feet. However, Romulus landed on top of him, breaking his own arm and Rudolphus' leg.
Bella stood there, smirking at their moaning and groaning in pain. "Serves you two right for making me go first."
Rudolphus moaned as he tried to push Romulus off, put winced in pain. "A little help, love?"
Bellatrix sighed in exasperation. "Alright, alright. I suppose you two have learned you lessons. But you have to make it up to me tonight." She said with a wink as she healed them.
Romulus rolled off of Rudolphus and sat up, dusting himself off. "So, what was it that we're looking for again?"
Bellatrix growled and started walking off away from the cliff. Romulus blinked and looked at his brother, confused. "What'd I say?"
Rudolphus just started laughing and followed Bellatrix, leaving Romulus standing there confused as all heck. "What'd I say?"
Meanwhile…
"HALT! WHO GOES THERE?"
Bellatrix smirked and pointed her wand at the offending knight, who blinked and smiled. "Oh…it's only you."
"That's right it's only me. Otherwise, bad things might have happened to you."
"Alright, boys," The knight yelled. "Lower the wards!" All of a sudden a castle shimmered into view. It was made of pure marble with beautiful towers, streaming flags, and arched windows. Of course, there were soldiers patrolling the top of the wall who looked out to see who was at the polished, silver gate.
"Hey, boys, it's Bella!"
"What's up, Bella? Long time, no see."
"Lookin good, Bella! The black robes really suit you."
The knight on the ground smiled warmly at Bellatrix Lestrange. "Welcome back, Miss Black. Your room in the south tower is still open if you require the use of it."
Bellatrix smirked. "Actually, it's Lady Lestrange, now. I'm married and my husband and brother-in-law should be along shortly."
The knight's eyebrow shimmied up his forehead underneath his visor as he listened to the sounds of the forest and heard the tell-tale crashing of two humans. "I take it that they are not accustomed to natural anit-apparation wards."
Bellatrix looked at him strangely. "Natural wards? That's a new one. How does it work?"
The knight's eyes gleamed with mischief as he winked at her. "I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."
Bellatrix's eyes narrowed. "Don't play with me, Steven. I want to know what these 'natural' wardsa are all about."
Steven scratched his head as he looked at the ground in front of him, embarrassed. "To tell you the truth, I don't really know myself. I think it has something to do with the tendency of nature to want to even the score a bit and, with this being one of the last pure magical forests, nature had some fun."
Bellatrix rolled her eyes. "You really are useless, aren't you?"
Steven looked up and grinned. "Why else would I be on the outside of the wards?"
Behind Bellatrix, the bushes rustled as the two Lestrange brothers stumbled into the clearing and tripped, not noticing the castle that shimmered out of view again. "Merlin, Romulus, lose some weight! This is the second time you've fallen on top of me and it doesn't feel good!"
Romulus glared at his brother. "Well, soooorry. I suppose if you weren't so clumsy, I wouldn't trip on you so often."
Before their argument could dissolve into fists and wands, Bellatrix cleared her throat. "What took you guys so long? I've standing here talking with Steve for the better part of an hour!"
"But…Bella…"
She glared at them and they flinched. "No buts! You two have double work to make up for this." Then she shifted her glare to Romulus. "You especially." With that, she turned and seemed to walk right into thin air.
Romulus and Rudolphus both stared at the spot where she disappeared in disbelief. "Did she just…?"
"Walk into nothing? Yeah."
"Brother o mine, I still can't remember for the life of me what we were looking for."
"I believe it was the horn of a Crumple-Horned Snorkack."
Romulus looked at his brother in disbelief. "Crumple Horned Snorkacks don't exist. They are pure fantasy."
Rudolphus snorted. "You mean like the Yeti we plucked that hair from?"
"Well, yes, but still!"
"He hem." Steve cleared his throat and the two remaining Lestranges glared at him.
"Do you mind? We're trying to have a civilized argument here."
"For Merlin's sake, man, we're British. Let us get it out of our system at least."
Steve looked at them strangely. "Well, I would do that but the Lady Black has implied that you two…buffoons…were her travel companions. As it is, I am highly doubting her ability to choose her relationships well. But you are still guests and I must welcome you," Here he made a motion towards the air behind him as he stepped aside. The men manning the wards recognized this as a signal and slowly shimmered the castle into view. Steve continued dramatically as the castle appeared, "To Castle Crumplehein, last bastion of the Crumple Horned Snorkack."
Romulus' jaw dropped at that proclamation as Rudolphus started laughing at him.
End Chapter
Well, I suppose this is as good a place as any to state that the lawyers are starting to bother me and so would like to point out that Harry Potter and all affiliated characters and creatures belong to J.K. Rowling…except for Steven and Castle Crumplehein. They belong to me. In the spirit of that, I spent several days on this chapter (writing when I had inspiration) and so I expect more reviews, dammit! Also, no next chapter until I get 15 reviews. This is my longest chapter and I expect to be rewarded for my efforts.
