Chapter 11: If You Can't Take The Heat…
dm4487: Yeah, strength is pretty much all Rodney has going for him. He had no strategy, his social game was virtually nonexistent, and despite his strength, he wasn't even that good in challenges. It isn't surprising that he got the boot early. And yes, Scott will probably be eager to avenge his cousin.
perfectlove990: Yeah, I didn't feel I could do anything with Rodney, and I thought him being eliminated early made sense from a story perspective, so I got rid of him. You'll just have to see how Duncan and Brick's rivalry turns out.
DSX62415: Good. I was a bit nervous about altering the challenge.
Gucci Mane LaFlare: Good. I was nervous about writing the challenge different from canon, glad to hear the changes worked. Also glad that I wrote Rodney well.
Phenomenal Ultra Instinct: Yeah, the odds were stacked against Rodney pretty highly. And yes, he's safe for now.
QueenAzulaThinksYourWorthless: Thanks. While I don't think Rodney is impossible to develop, he is extremely difficult to do so, more so than all but a few other TD contestants. I think Chef might like that.
Knight: It's quite possible. ;-)
victoriagp2222: I am not a Rodney fan myself. I wrote him as well as I felt I reasonably could, but I'm no Fangren. I could only do so much with Rodney, and there are so many more interesting characters to focus on. And I'm happy that you're happy.
Teams:
Gophers: B, Beardo, Beth, Brick, Dawn, Duncan, Ella, Heather, Jasmine, Leonard, Max, Sammy
Bass: Courtney, DJ, Ezekiel, Lindsay, Mike, Sam, Scarlett, Scott, Topher, Tyler
Moose: Aiden, Cameron, Cody, Eva, Harold, Jo, LeShawna, Lightning, Noah, Owen, Shawn
Badgers: Alejandro, Bridgette, Geoff, Gwen, Justin, Katie, Sadie, Sierra, Sky, Trent, Zoey
The episode opened in the Moose cabin. Lightning woke, jumped up, and shouted, "It's Lightning time!" He tried to run out of the cabin door, but tripped over something on the floor. "Sha-what?" he asked, and picked up a pair of underwear. He glared at it, and then at Harold, and demanded, "What's the big idea, dude?"
Harold looked at the underwear, and said, "Those aren't mine."
Noah drowsily picked up a pair from the floor, and said, "Yes, I'm sure one of us had your name sewn onto our underwear just to make it look like it wasn't us who left our dirty underwear all over the place."
Cody agreed, "Come on dude, just clean this stuff up."
Harold stood up and grabbed a towel. "Whatever. I'm going for a shower."
Aiden started picking up Harold's underwear. Cody asked, "What are you doing?"
Aiden looked at Cody, and said, "Teaching him a lesson." He then proceeded to take Harold's underwear outside the cabin.
A bit later, Chris was presenting the challenge to the campers. "Today's challenge will test your minds, your minds, your teamwork, and your skill in the kitchen. You'll be cooking a three-course meal and serving it to me for tasting. The winners get a reward, and last place sends somebody home. Each team will appoint a head chef to create the theme of the meal and oversee the cooking. To cook, you need ingredients." He indicated a truck that somehow drove onto the island out of the water. "Every morning, a truck brings us food. Today's task starts there." A dolphin wearing a delivery uniform poked its head out the window of the truck and waved at the camera.
"How's it doing that?" Scott asked. B walked over to the dolphin and pulled its "head" off, revealing it was just a driver in a costume. "Oh. That makes sense."
Justin asked, "As the winning team of last challenge, don't we get an advantage?"
Chris replied, "You didn't have to participate in a painful second challenge. I'd say that's reward enough for winning."
Once the truck was parked, the campers all examined what they had to work with. Jo shouted, "I'm head chef! Deal with it! Now, do any of you maggots know how to cook?"
Eva objected, "Why do get to be head chef?"
Jo responded, "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't think you might want to be head chef after you bailed in the Phobia Factor challenge! Now, who can cook?" It took the combined strength of Owen, Shawn, and Leshawna to prevent Eva from attacking Jo.
Lightning volunteered, "I can make the best spaghetti sauce you've ever eaten!"
Jo asked, "Can you even spell 'spaghetti?'"
Lightning, angry, shouted, "So I'm dys-something or other! Work with me here, dude!"
Harold asked, "Dyslexic?" Lightning said, "Yeah, that!"
Cameron offered, "If we're doing an Italian theme, I am familiar with the process of making a gourmet-level antipasto."
Shawn offered, "I can make Italian Crème Cake. I worked in a bakery for a few years to raise money for apocalypse gear, and I picked up a few things about cooking."
Jo smiled. "Okay. We'll do that. Let's go, people!" The three pointed out things that they would need to their teammates, and then ran to the kitchen to get started.
Geoff, observing this development, said, "Aww. I thought we could do a killer Italian theme, but they beat us to it."
Sky thought for a moment, and suggested, "How about a French theme? I think we could make that work."
"Then you should be head chef," Alejandro stated.
Courtney said, "Because our team leader's cooking experience probably amounts to frying whatever vermin he finds in the kitchen, I'm electing myself head chef."
"I mean, you're not wrong," Scott responded.
Courtney then asked, "Which of you have cooking experience other than microwaving frozen pizzas?"
DJ said, "My mama owns a Cajun restaurant, and she taught me how to cook. I could make a delicious main course."
Scarlett said, "Baking a dessert is simple chemistry. I can handle that."
Courtney nodded her head. "Okay. DJ, roast duck. Scarlett, cinnamon rolls. Sam do you think you can make seafood gumbo?"
Sam nodded. "I'm not the most experienced cook ever, but I can follow instructions. If you can provide a recipe, I can complete the objective."
Heather said, "Head chef! Called it!"
Max objected to this. "Only someone as e-vil as me is worthy of being head chef!"
"Do you even have a theme?" Heather asked.
Max replied, "Not only do I have a theme, but I have a plan for the entire meal! Applesauce for the first course, dinosaur nuggets for the second, and for dessert, a pancake in the shape of a skull! For extra e-vil, of course."
Heather looked at the rest of the team. "We're doing a Hawaiian theme."
The teams were busy grabbing everything they needed. Ezekiel asked Scott, "Are yoo okay with not bein' in charge today?"
Scott smiled. "I actually like not being in charge. I do get put in charge a lot back home because I'm the smartest member of my family, so I am good at being a leader. But I don't like having that kind of pressure on me. I'd honestly rather take orders than give them."
Ezekiel seemed a bit surprised by this. "Yoo're so good at bein' in charge, I thought yoo liked it."
Scott just shrugged. "I don't. I'd let someone else lead if anyone else on the team could lead as well as me."
Confessional: Scott
"Okay, what I told Ezekiel was true. But I also have another reason for being glad I'm not in charge. It's possible Rodney received a majority vote without interference, but just in case, I need to strategize potential ways for potentially getting an enemy eliminated."
End confessional
A slight ways away, Cody had decided to try to flirt with Dawn. He walked up to her and opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off. "I can see from your aura that you are not genuinely interested, and that you are more attracted to the idea of having a girlfriend than you are towards me or any other girl here. And even if that was not the case, I see nothing in your aura to suggest that we would be a good match." Cody sighed.
Confessional: Cody
"She could have just said no."
End confessional
In the Badgers' kitchen, Katie and Sadie were putting together the appetizer. It was fairly simple, a plate of cheese and meat samples, grapes and strawberries, and bread rolls. As they worked, they talked about boys. Katie asked Sadie, "So, which guy do you think is the hottest? And, like, you can't pick Justin or Alejandro, 'cause they're obvious."
Sadie thought for a moment. "Hmm. Good question. I don't know. Trent is pretty hot. So's DJ."
Katie responded, "Yeah, DJ is kinda hot. He's got big muscles, anyway. And I guess Topher's pretty hot..."
Sierra, who overheard, cut her off. "Don't talk about him. He's pretty much the worst."
Sadie asked, "Why are you still so mad at him, anyway?"
Sierra's expression grew even more sour. "I'll tell you."
Meanwhile, Lindsay was busy collecting ingredients. "Toby," she asked, "What happened between you and Sienna? Why do you fight so much?"
Topher's face grew thunderous. "I'll tell you that story, just so you know what kind of person Sierra is."
"He's just so...self-absorbed! Everything has to be about him!" Sierra ranted to the clones.
"She's so codependent! I mean, I know we were dating, but would it have killed her to sometimes make her own decisions?" Topher raged.
"And he acts like such a jerk to get people to like him! Is he so insecure that he needs to be a total jerk to everyone around him just to try to be popular?"
"And for someone who acts like such a satellite, she never really supported me, did she? My dreams were always 'stupid,' or I was always 'trying too hard.'"
The shot finally cut to show the two on a split screen, saying as one, "And he/she never listened to me!"
"Seriously, it seemed like he thought his opinion was the only one that mattered," Sierra finished.
"For as much as she made it her job to know about me, she never seemed to value what I thought," Topher finished.
Confessional: Lindsay
"Wow, Toby and Sienna are really mad at each other. I hope I never end up like that."
End confessional
In the Moose kitchen, Shawn was putting the finishing touches on his cake. "Well, it looks like that year-and-a-half I worked in that bakery is paying off. Chris will love this."
Over at the spaghetti station, Owen reached for the bowl of boiled noodles, only for Jo to violently bring down the wooden spoon on his knuckles. "Ow!" Owen shouted, clutching the injured hand.
"No sampling!" Jo shouted. "Hey, Lightbulb, how's the sauce coming?"
"It's coming along real nice," Lightning responded. He inhaled deeply. "Smell that? Mmm-mmm. Sha-licious!"
Harold then burst through the door, with a jar of olives. Jo grabbed them, and shouted, "These are black olives, Split-screen! Go back and get green olives!" She then turned to Noah. "Forehead! Quit standing around! Go get some cheese for the pasta!"
Noah frowned and looked at Owen. "Is my forehead really that big?"
Owen looked at Noah thoughtfully. "Yeah, it kinda is."
Jo scowled, but then smiled deviously. "Hey, Butterball, if you're hungry, why don't you go chow down on the ingredients back at the truck?"
Owen smiled like if Jo had told him Christmas was coming early. "You mean it?"
Jo grinned. "Sure. Once Split-screen and Forehead grab those olives, we'll have everything we need. No point in leaving the rest of it for the other teams."
Owen ran out the door, ecstatic. "Not very sportsmanlike," Leshawna commented.
"Sportsmanship is for losers," Jo replied.
Confessional: Leshawna
"I'm thinkin' that white girl's attitude is gonna be a problem. She may wear sweats, but she's got the attitude of a spoiled, rich daddy's girl."
End confessional
The Bass were working in the kitchen. DJ put spice on the duck. "Mama Spice. Never leave home without it."
Mike looked at the vegetables on the side. He then dumped a small bottle of capsaicin onto the vegetables. As he did so, he whistled a creepy tune.
DJ looked at him. "Hmm?"
Mike hid the bottle in his hand. "Did I say something?"
DJ shrugged. "Mike" discretely threw away the bottle.
Mike then took a deep breath. He looked confused for a moment, but shrugged it off.
In the Gophers' kitchen, Heather was having a hard time. "Jasmine! Put more seasoning on the ribs! Not too much, just a bit more! Beth! I need those pineapple slices to be even! Ella!"
Ella said, "Oh, this flambé is coming along excellently! There is no need for you to worry."
Heather sighed. "Good." She turned to the others to badger them a bit more, but was cut off by Dawn. "Heather, we can see that you feel stressed. You need to relax. Micromanaging every aspect of the challenge will not help. You must trust that we know what we're doing, and that we are wise enough to ask for help if not."
Heather sighed. "You're right. I'm sorry."
Confessional: Heather
"I'm not an idiot. I saw how my teammates shunned Amy. I know I have to play nice, or I'll be next. But it's not always easy."
End confessional
Ella asked Max, "Would you like to help?"
Max walked over to help his friend. "So, what even is this dessert?"
Ella thought for a moment. "I am not entirely sure myself. But Heather said it's popular in Hawaii."
Max sighed. "Ah, yes. The land of volcanoes. I've always wanted to visit."
Ella nodded. "I think it would be lovely. Perhaps if you or I win, we could visit together."
Max looked thoughtful. "Perhaps."
Over at the appetizer station, Beth asked Duncan, "What was juvie like?"
Duncan answered, "Honestly, it was pretty awful. Cramped cells, food worse than Chef's, and most of the people were pretty terrible too. Even with all that, though, it might not have been so bad if it wasn't for Mal. Now that guy, he was a total sadist. He barely acknowledged my existence, and I liked it that way. He put a lot of guys in the hospital, even big, tough guys. I did have to bend over backwards for his cronies and yes-men, though, when they decided to acknowledge my existence. Everyone was terrified of him."
Beth didn't really know how to respond. "Oh."
"I talked to a girl at the parole office, and apparently the girls' section had their own Mal. Some crazy smart redhead who would torture her fellow inmates for fun. We swapped stories, and this girl sounded even worse than Mal somehow."
Beth looked spooked. "Well, I hope I never meet either of them."
Duncan laughed. "They're both total psychos. They're probably still in there. Not much chance you'll ever meet either of them."
Back at the Badgers' kitchen, Alejandro was putting the finishing touches on the main course. "The Navarin D'Agneau appears quite delicious. An excellent suggestion that we make French food, Sky."
Sky smiled. "Thanks."
Justin commented, "That white wine was a good find. I'm surprised they even gave that to us."
Alejandro agreed, "Yes, I found it curious as well. I suppose we should serve the rest with the meal."
Trent pulled a tart out of the oven. "I think we're good to go."
At the tasting, Chris was sitting down, ready to try the meals. The Badgers delivered their appetizer first.
"A cheese plate. Simple, but definitely French," Chris commented. He tasted a couple of the cheeses. "Needs red wine to go with it, not white. But still, I'm liking it. Didn't even realize these cheeses were in the shipment."
Dakota, who was standing behind him, said, "You had me order the ingredients. I went for variety."
Chris nodded. "Well, good choices. Six points."
Next to bring out their appetizer was the Bass team. Sam placed a bowl of gumbo in front of the host.
Chris took a bite. "Ah, nice and spicy. Eight points."
Next were the Moose. Cody gave Chris the antipasto. Chris tasted it. "Your antipasto passed the test-o! Seven points."
Finally came the Gophers. Chris tried a pineapple skewer. "Kinda simple, don't you think? I'll give it a six."
Next was the main course. The Badgers brought out their Navarin D'Agneau. Chris looked at it, and tasted it. He then said, "Gotta be honest, guys. Not really feeling the Navarin D'Agneau without a good Pinot Noir to go with it. Seven points."
Gwen responded, "But Dakota didn't order that, just the white wine. How would we be able to provide Pinot Noir?"
Chef then entered the dining room, upset. "You let these kids use my white wine for cookin'? That wine was for me!"
Chris shrugged. "Sorry, dude. I never said they couldn't use it, and we ordered it from the same company as the other ingredients."
Chef scowled, grabbed the half-full bottle, and stormed off.
Chris shrugged. "Well, that happened. Bass, show me what you got."
DJ served his roast duck. Chris took a bite, his eyes widened, and he said, "Ten points, right here. I'm having a hard time believing anything could top this."
"Well, you ain't tried the Lightning special," Lightning said, as he served Chris a large bowl of spaghetti, with meatballs and sauce. Chris tried it, and said, "You weren't kidding. This is terrific. Nine points!"
Jo looked at Lightning. "I didn't think you could do it."
Confessional: Lightning
"Sha-duh! Of course the Lightning can make great pasta! Ain't you ever heard of carbo-loading? Pasta is great for that! Besides, it's Pops's favorite food!"
End confessional
The Gophers went last, with a platter of ribs. Chris tasted one. "A little dry, but still good. I'll give it an eight. That puts the Bass ahead with eighteen points, the Moose with sixteen, the Gophers with fourteen, and the Badgers with thirteen."
Trent brought out the fig tart, and Chris had a bite. "Pretty good, but a bit unevenly cooked. I'll give it a seven."
Next were the cinnamon rolls. "Cinnamon rolls. Not particularly exciting, honestly. I'll give it a six, because they're not bad, just a bit undercooked."
Shawn brought out the cake, and Chris tried it. "Ah, that is good cake, right there. Good work, Shawn. Nine points."
"Wait, does that mean we win?" Shawn asked.
Chris thought for a moment. "Does it?"
Cameron quickly did the math. "Yes, that puts the Moose at twenty-five points, the Bass at twenty-four, and the Badgers at twenty-one. And even if they get all ten points for their dessert, the Gophers are unable to exceed a score of twenty-four at this point, meaning we win."
"Sha-Yeah!" Lightning exclaimed, and proceeded to high-five all of his teammates.
"Speaking of our dessert, where is it?" Heather asked.
"Right here! And looking very tasty, might I add," said Ella, as she brought in the dessert.
Heather asked, "Why haven't you lit it?"
Max asked, "It needs to be set ablaze? How diabolical! Let me do the honors." He grabbed a blowtorch, and set the dessert on fire. It exploded, leaving nothing but ash on the plate. "Maybe I used too much starter. Oopsie." Heather glared at him.
Chris tried a bite of the ash anyway, and choked. When he recovered, he asked, "Were you trying to kill me? Zero points! You lose!" He then regained his composure. "As a reward for winning, we were going to give the Moose team a five-star dinner under the stars. Unfortunately, someone ate most of the ingredients."
Eva and Leshawna glared at Jo. Jo asked, "How was I supposed to know the ingredients were also for the reward?"
"Oh, so we're just supposed to accept that you cost us our reward?" Eva demanded.
Noah cut the argument off. "Stop! Stop! Whenever we aren't doing challenges, you fight like a Democrat and a Republican, neither of whom are particularly knowledgeable about politics! If your fighting manages to spread to the actual challenges, it will definitely cost us." Jo and Eva, seeing the truth of the statement, said nothing.
Chris cleared his throat to catch the campers' attention. "Instead, you guys get the meals for your dinner. I would not recommend the flambé."
At the Moose team's dinner, Harold asked his teammates, "Hey, somebody took my underwear and I couldn't find it."
The other boys, minus Shawn, looked at Aiden. Aiden huffed, and said "I hid them behind the septic tank. Next pair of dirty underwear I see in the floor goes in the septic tank."
He then took a bite of the vegetables served with the duck. Instantly his eyes popped, his face turned red, and he ran into the kitchen in search of milk. Jo laughed wildly at his misfortune.
At the campfire ceremony, Chris said, "Well, that was exciting, for a challenge that doesn't involve athleticism. I have on my plate..." He saw Chef, wearing the recreated military/princess dress. "What...are you wearing?"
Chef folded his arms. "I'm gonna wear this at every Gopher elimination 'til soldier boy and princess girl are eliminated."
Duncan cringed. "Dude, that's the gayest thing I've ever seen, hands down. Yeesh."
Chef turned his nose up. "You just don't appreciate true greatness."
Chris, looking a bit disturbed, decided to continue. "Anyway...I have on my plate ten marshmallows. Whoever does not receive a marshmallow must walk down the Dock of Shame, board the Boat of Losers, and never come back. Ever. If I call your name, you are safe. Jasmine! Beardo! Beth! Samey! B! Ella! Brick! Duncan! Dawn!" He tossed each of the nine campers their marshmallows from the plate Dakota was holding.
"Heather, you're on the chopping block for choosing to serve flambé, and Max, you're on the chopping block for messing it up. The final marshmallow goes to..."
"Heather."
Max gasped. "What? How dare you all vote me out? You all will pay when I take over the world! Well, except for Ella, but the rest of you will pay!"
"Yeah, that's fantastic," Chris said sarcastically. "Chef, take him away."
Chef picked up Max, and began to walk towards the Boat of Losers. Suddenly, Max pulled what looked to have once been a hairdryer from his jacket, pointed it at Chris, and shouted, "Revenge!"
Chris panicked, and asked, "Is that..."
"Yes! It's my hair recolorizer!" He fired a beam at Chris, who yelped and pulled Dakota in front of himself as a human shield. Chef then grabbed the recolorizer out of Max's hand, dropped it, and crushed it with his foot.
Chef then sailed away with Max, who shouted, "I shall have my revenge!"
Dakota held her hands to her blond hair, seemingly about to have a panic attack.
Confessional: Ella
"Even though I know Max cost us the challenge, I feel bad for voting for him. I didn't much like Amy, and I didn't know Leonard that well, but Max is my friend. Now I feel awful."
End confessional
Max has been an absolute joy to write, but all good things must come to an end. He's a weak player, and he couldn't realistically last any longer.
Thoughts on Max? He's absolutely hilarious, but also absolutely one-note. I am not surprised that he's often eliminated early in fanfics. I gave him an MVP moment and a friend, which is more than canon did for him, so I feel good about how I handled him. And if the reviews are anything to go by, you all thought he was hilarious as well.
I also did think he and Scarlett were a great comedic duo in canon, but I also felt he held her back from her full potential. I decided to have him play off of Ella instead, and I think it actually works well, though I did feel I could have done better interactions between the two if I didn't have so many characters to focus on. I actually kind of want someone to make a sitcom starring the two of them now. I'm a bit busy with this story, so anyone who wants to use that idea, feel free.
Elimination order:
52: Dave, the Germaphobe
51: Staci, the Compulsive Liar
50: Dakota, the Fame-Monger
49: Sugar, the Pageant Queen
48: Amy, the Evil Twin
47: Leonard, the LARPer
46: Anne Maria, the Jersey Shore Reject
45: Izzy, the Psycho Hose Beast (still out there?)
44: Rodney, the Lovesick Farm Boy
43: Max, the Super-Villain Wannabe
