17-year old Paige is absorbed in life, love, attitude and rebellion, but when normal teenage turmoil is turned upside down by something she can't explain, has she pushed her family too far? All 4 sisters. Paige-centric with Glen/Kyle
A/N: Thanks to all you reviewers! They help to give me a kick up the backside and make sure I carry on and update the story :) Warning: This chapter is a little bit darker than the others…with a little bit of swearing in it…it's all relevant for later on! I definitely know where this story is going!
Flashbacks are in italics…
Disclaimer: Everything to do with Charmed equals Not mine!
Chapter 5: Torn
The sharp breeze pierces cold through my smart black jacket; it looks odd over the top of his favourite t-shirt. It has ended now and a train of people filters from the seats moving down the aisle and back to the car park. Prue, Piper and Phoebe start to walk before me, I don't notice until Phoebe silently offers me her hand.
"Wait, I have to…" Phoebe nods her 'okay' and tries to follow but Piper holds her back, putting a hand on her shoulder. I smile gratefully; I have to do this alone.
The marble is smooth and square, cold and harsh. It's so wrong.
So wrong that the warm blue eyes; lopsided grin; the constant laughter and the sparkle of mischief have been replaced by this static, grey stone. I kneel before it, tracing the carved letters with my finger. I don't care that the grass is damp, soaking through my trousers, freezing my knees into this prayerful position.
I don't care.
My cheek feels the sharp slap of the cold as I press it up against the marble. A tear drips and flows all the way down to the smooth surface before soaking into the freshly laid earth. I press my lips gently on the stone.
"You left me…" It comes out a whisper of disbelief.
"YOU LEFT ME!" I shout. My damn tears spill over my eyeliner streaking like war-paint all across my face, "YOU LEFT ME!" Phoebe and Piper come and hoist me to my feet. Both wear dark expressions that say: what are you doing Paige? Screw them. I shrug until they let me go and head back towards the car park.
I've got to get out of here.
But not before I look back and whisper, "Goodbye"
---
It's real, and I can't escape.
Piper and Phoebe are full of sugary smiles and sisterly sympathy but they are useless against this numbness. Only Prue, distant and silent, her cold blue eyes full of disappointment, tell the truth.
I deserve it.
I want her to shout. I wish she would rage and yell. I want her to tell me how she wishes that I were with Glen, like I do. I want her to tell me it was my fault, to remind everyday. Anything would be better than this silence.
Blinking my eyes open, my cheek touches a rough grey surface. My stomach is cold and numb whilst a wall of heat rages across my back. I don't understand, what's going on?
Wait.
The car?
That means…
"Glen" I shout weakly.
I have to brush some hair out it out of my eye so that I can see. It hurts; I bring my hand back down, finding it stained with crimson. "Glen" I try again.
A tornado of panic whirls from my stomach and settles painfully in my chest. I can't see him anywhere near me, just the car.
Not the car. Glen's car, now being licked by orange flame teasing and twisting its metal into grotesque shape, with bellows of smoke pouring from the windows, he can't be, it can't have happened. I try to sit up, my body is screaming and pain tearing through my insides, "Glen" I call for a final time before something pulls me into deep darkness.
---
"Sweetie" Piper voices breaks through my daydream, "Why don't you go lie down"
Even with my eyes closed I can still see it, hear it, and smell it.
I feel my bed dip under the weight of an extra body who has sat there. I want it to be Glen sat, smiling over me, if only I could hope hard enough. As a hand brushes through my hair my heart rises
and falls…
"Paigey" Piper whispers "are you okay?"
"I'm okay Piper" I nod slowly. I don't have the energy to fight it when she leans in and kisses my cheek.
I'm not okay.
Can't you see that I'm not okay?
---
Oh fuck, it throbs. Everything is swimming and swirling. Three voices, my sisters? and another? It seems to be taking me a hell of a long time to open my eyes.
Somehow I hear Andy's voice float above all the rest, and his words ring in my ears "You know, Prue, it's some kind of miracle that she's here…god knows how she got out of that car…the body inside was…"
"Andy" Prue says tightly.
Blackness becomes painfully bright white as my eyes open and the reality of thehospital room filters in.
---
I can't sleep.
In fact, I haven't slept for days, not since… all I can think about is the crash, except I can't remember a thing, only that I shouldn't be here. The flashbacks and Andy's words are all I need to tell me that. I keep trying to figure out why, why Glen had to leave and why I'm still here. He was the only thing that kept me sane. Call me crazy but I have his t-shirt across my pillow, it still smells like him and it feels as if he's still close. I don't want to face tomorrow, or any day after if he is not there to share it too. My eyes prickle and I end up swallowing a sob, trying my best to bury it into my pillow. My eyelids are heavy but my mind is racing, chasing the unconscious bliss of sleep but never quite catching it. The bottle of pills that the doctor gave me, sits taunting me on my dresser.
They don't do a damn thing, but I know something that will…
Dragging my lead body off of my bed I dig in the very bottom of my chest of drawers. It doesn't take me long to find my treasure; the mini-spirit bottle giving up its dark-brown riches. I swallow a mouthful of the bitter liquid, using it to wash down a couple of the little green tablets, then another and another one. I'm desperate for drowsiness.
My thoughts are muddy, as sleep takes over….thoughts of Glen, Grams, Mom, merge together and I wonder…how many more people have to leave? Maybe should wear a warning sign that says 'Paige Halliwell: toxic aura'. Maybe that's the reason that Prue hates me, why we've never got on. Maybe I would have done Prue and the rest of the world a favour if I'd gone with him. Perhaps I will do the world a favour and not wake up as I finally drift off into this deep, deep sleep.
Aw! Poor Glen,but don't forget things are never quite what they seem in the world of Charmed ;) Please Review!
